


Consequence of Action

by kasey8473



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-06
Updated: 2012-02-05
Packaged: 2017-10-30 16:37:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 97,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/333809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kasey8473/pseuds/kasey8473
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU: God has come home, the angels are in big trouble, Lucifer’s playing on earth, and 2014 isn’t…exactly what Zachariah showed Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

__

Daniel 4:35 (NIV) : All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing. He does as he pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of the earth. No one can hold back his hand or say to him: “What have you done?”

~~~~~~~~~~

2011:

It wasn’t a good day to be an angel.

Their Father was home and he was pissed. To put it mildly.

“What have you done?”

The question rang loud in the heavens, though it wasn’t said in a way that indicated ignorance of their actions, but rather a full-blown knowledge of exactly what they’d done, to whom, and why. It was said to make them think and truly understand their actions, the same way He’d asked Adam ‘where are you’ in the Garden that day long ago. It wasn’t for His benefit, but theirs.

They pulled up ranks in a full-blown panic, returning home so fast and with so much confusion, that their head count was a little off and not discovered by them until much later.

~~~~~~~~~~

2014:

Sometimes Michael hated being the oldest.

He had watched as the upper ranks of angels were made to wait while their Father questioned the lower ranks. None of the lower ranks knew anything. The Apocalypse had been all the idea of the upper ranks.

Michael knew as well as all of them that their Father didn’t need to question any of them. He already knew everything -- their reasons, their rationalizations, who was involved and on what side. Everything. There was not a single thing He didn’t know.

This waiting was a lesson to them. Everything in His time, not theirs.

And so Michael watched and waited for their turn before Him.

He saw the lower ranks sent back to work beginning in 2012, the Cupids among those sent back down. One of them was taken aside, given ‘special assignments’ that had the particular Cupid giggling and overjoyed. Michael wondered about those assignments. Who was so special that matches had to be arranged immediately? While he had suspicions on one, he was uncertain on the others. He pondered that and paced slowly, observing his brothers and sisters, noting each reaction to the waiting game.

Raphael was in a state of shock, having not stopped repeating, “He really came home,” over and over since they’d been ordered home. He remained despondent, not comforted even by that long awaited return of their Father. 

Zachariah had developed a nervous tick and muttered much the same way Raphael did, only his refrain was along the lines of, “We had to. We did. Surely He understands how hard it was to wait?” Considering Zachariah had put in a bid to run heaven himself, there were going to be heavy consequences for him for that. 

As for Gabriel….

Irritating, smug, selfish Gabriel who’d disappeared for centuries and run away from his responsibilities….

Gabriel sat there, still in his meat suit, unconcerned that they were all about to be disciplined, watching them as Michael did. He behaved as though it was just another day in heaven. Maybe to him it was. The middle angel. Periodically, Gabriel would close his eyes and sigh. How had Gabriel been able to stand spending so long inside that meat suit? Why continue wearing it when he didn’t have to? Michael was tempted to ask him those questions, but didn’t bother. He and Gabriel hadn’t had a truly genial conversation in a very long time and he’d only receive sarcasm were he to try.

Michael thought his own punishment would be severe. Even though he hadn’t directly been involved -- preferring to wait for Dean Winchester to cry out for his help specifically -- he hadn’t protested, or tried to stop the others. He’d let it happen and therefore, it was his responsibility. As the oldest, he was the one they all looked to and he’d let them all down. He planned to acknowledge that and accept his punishment, whatever it may be.

Finally, it was their turn to have their Father’s attention.

~~~~~~~~~~

The previous day had been a nightmare. Dean Winchester sat down beside Castiel at one long scarred wooden table. Why he’d ever thought torturing an upper level demon would give them any intel was beyond him. Selective amnesia and stupidity? Thinking back, he remembered that Alistair hadn’t been particularly cooperative either.

“Passing by, my ass,” he muttered, sighing and looking over at Risa, who was pointedly ignoring him at present. She was in a mood again, alternately staring at him as though he was Lucifer himself and ignoring him. He was tempted to make a snide remark about monthly visitors and might have if he hadn’t made that mistake once before. She hadn’t been amused then and wouldn’t be now.

Not only had the demon lied under torture about the location of the Colt, it had lied about Lucifer. Put that together with Risa pissed for some reason she was being all mysterious about and this ranked as one of the worst weeks of his life.

Beside him, Castiel let out a snort of laughter and in an eerie stint of something akin to mind reading said, “Those upper level demons do rather well under…pressure, don’t they?” It wasn’t mind-reading because Cas couldn’t do that anymore, but he still had a knack for knowing what was on Dean’s mind sometimes.

“You find this amusing?” He cast a glance Cas’s way, watched him open a pill bottle and take his morning dosage of anti-depressant. Since becoming mostly human, Castiel had to take pills to treat that depression caused by his circumstances. Without medication, he’d simply sleep and stare into space, maintaining that the combined weight of his thoughts and Jimmy’s were too much to bear. Or he’d drink for days and eventually wake up with women he didn’t remember going to bed with. 

Dean had been in such a place himself a few times. He could remember the depression, the pain and weight of it all crushing down upon him. He’d done those same things he’d seen Castiel doing -- alcohol, women -- and cringed when he noticed Cas following his path, but what could he do? It wasn’t like he’d any room to criticize. 

With the pills, Cas was almost normal. Well, human normal. He certainly wasn’t the Castiel that had pulled Dean from hell years earlier.

“I find it amusing in a ‘sad clown of life mocking you’ way.” Castiel popped the pill into his mouth, washed it down with water and stirred more sugar into his coffee. 

It had been Cas who’d gone to a doctor friend of Bobby’s, knowing he needed help to continue functioning and knowing neither Dean nor Bobby would bother with a doctor. But then, he still had Jimmy in his head, telling him what he ought to do. Dean had to admit Jimmy’s advice had been helpful. Cas was functioning, if a little clumsy sometimes, with occasional trouble feeling like he couldn’t control the body he shared with Jimmy despite being the one in control. One of those moments had resulted in him breaking a foot the previous year. 

“And you pissed off Risa, too, Dean? I told you to console Jane for the loss of her boyfriend in public _and_ in the daytime. Just because Jane’s a night owl doesn’t mean you wait until the middle of the night to see her.”

“Not one of my best decisions,” he admitted, “but I was passing by…. It’s not like we were alone, Cas. Bonnie and Hank were there.” Sitting beside Risa in the truck on the way to where Lucifer was supposed to be (and hadn’t been) had been a hell all itself. Her chilly silences rivaled the one he remembered Ellen Harvelle once giving him all the way back to the Roadhouse. Was Risa’s silence really over Jane? _Jane_? Really? Jane was too sweet to interest him. Besides, those days were behind him and she should know it. He’d have to corner Risa and talk to her about it. “Hey, you up to adding more signs on the north and east sides today?”

“More signs?”

“We can always use more signs. Besides, we lifted a particularly threatening one off that abandoned military base a couple weeks ago.” Dean was proud of that acquisition. They’d been collecting signs for months now, putting them up all over the place. Some were to confuse and some were to warn. 

“Sure, I’ll go after awhile.”

Dean was still nursing his coffee when Castiel left on that task.

~~~~~~~~~~

The moment Risa realized she’d fallen head over heels for Dean Winchester was in the middle of one of their frequent blistering arguments about nothing particularly important. The sun had been out. She remembered Chuck standing off to one side watching them like it was a fascinating movie, his mouth open and arms crossed. A little ways to Chuck’s right had been Castiel sunbathing nearly naked on a large blanket with two also nearly naked women. Castiel had raised up onto his forearms and watched them with an expression of confusion that she’d never figured out to this day. What about that scene he’d witnessed had caused the confusion?

She’d stumbled to a verbal halt at the same time Dean had, registering for the first time how truly beautiful his eyes were and that there was amusement and not anger swimming in their depths. How had she never seen anything but anger before? Their arguing was stupid and ridiculous. She’d tried to smother a smile and failed, the urge to laugh growing until she let it free. By the time she was able to stop, she had tears in her eyes and Dean had joined her, his chuckle warm and unrestrained.

Risa had never heard Dean laugh before.

It was a nice sound and one she’d wanted to hear again.

That moment had signaled a change in their relationship. They’d argued less, discovered shared interests and viewpoints, and spent much more time alone together They had a ‘connection’ as he called it, a spark of something that they’d pursued.

It had been over a year since then and quite a lot had changed for them, yet every so often, Risa was very afraid that the Dean Winchester she’d first met would rear up and she’d discover that one more man in her life had screwed her over by running to another woman. He had a past of stringing women along though he claimed to have changed. His past was factand try as she might, Risa just couldn’t get over it as fast as she knew he wanted her to.

Maybe she _was_ overreacting about Jane. Maybe it really had been innocent, but when her man, her _husband_ , didn’t come back to their cabin one night and was seen leaving another woman’s cabin early the next morning, she thought she had a right to be upset. She thought she had a right to be pissed and moody and unreasonable and she thought she had the right to demand an explanation. The worst part though, was that Dean seemed oblivious to the cause of her anger, like he had no idea whatsoever that spending those hours in Jane’s cabin was behind her ire.

And that ticked her off even more.

He knew about Risa’s own past and how she’d been hurt. The reason she was upset should have been blindingly obvious to him even if he _was_ preoccupied with the events outside in the world right now.

“What’s wrong with you the past couple days,” he asked her, taking her arm in a firm but gentle grip to stop her from walking away.

“You’re going to pretend you don’t know,” she snapped, looking at him. There was a hint of annoyance in his eyes.

“It isn’t an act. I have no idea what bug crawled up your ass and died there, so if you’d finally enlighten me I’d be much obliged, Risa.”

“Think about it. Really think. That man-stealing bimbo with bleached blond hair and the biggest rack in the camp ring any bells?” Tugging her arm free, she crossed her arms and waited.

He blinked, licked his lips, then sighed. “Tell me you’re not worried about Jane.”

“Ding, ding, ding! Why shouldn’t I be worried, Dean? You just spent the night with her!”

“I did no such thing. I was there for three very uncomfortable hours with Jane, Bonnie, and Hank while Jane cried and rambled about Tanner and how he looked up to me. You know, Tanner? Jane’s boyfriend who got killed five days ago? The guy who’d planned on proposing to her on her birthday this month? Three hours hardly constitutes a night, not to mention that the rest of the wee hours I was with my team discussing the plan on grabbing the Colt.” Stretching out his hands, he touched her arms, slid his fingers up and down them in that slow way he knew she liked. “Come on, Risa. All you had to do was ask me about it.” 

“I shouldn’t have to ask.”

He released her, lips tight. “If you can’t see your way to believing me, then talk to Bonnie and Hank. They’ll tell you.”

“Maybe I will.”

“Maybe? Think you can make that a certainty, because I’d like a warm bed again in the near future.”

“I’ll think about it.” Turning, she left him there and decided to track down Hank first. Hank wouldn’t lie to her. He’d tell her the truth straight.

Halfway across the camp, it occurred to Risa that she had a long way to go in learning to trust her husband.

~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel was at an old rest stop, one of those forgotten ones that seemed out of place once new highways had been put in and traffic diverted elsewhere. There were two around the lake that Camp Chitaqua was by, both within the boundaries Dean and Bobby had originally created. Castiel was supposed to be putting up more warning signs, but had decided to take a break once the sun came out from behind the clouds.

He snoozed on the hood of his truck, back to the windshield, hands behind his head, and ankles crossed. After the gray skies they’d been having, the heat and light felt good. He sighed with momentary contentment, hearing the slight whispering of Jimmy agreeing with him. Jimmy was often opinionated and during their time together had lost any reservations about speaking up. He had no trouble telling Cas what he thought, with definite ideas on what was best for them, like the pills Cas took every day. Jimmy’s voice fluctuated in sound, softer some days and louder in others. Today was a softer day. 

Since Castiel’s powers had gone, they’d become trapped together, fused like one instead of two in Jimmy’s body with Castiel in control. Jimmy could sleep, wake, talk only to Cas, but not ever have the running of their body. A source of frustration for Jimmy and sometimes for Castiel. 

Beside him, the radio crackled. “Convoy headed your way, Cas. Check ‘em out.”

They had a few video cameras placed in the trees that fed into a station at the camp, an expensive difficult project initially, but one he thought they were all glad for now. It gave them advance warning of anyone coming.

Sighing, Castiel answered and sat up, reaching for his binoculars. Sure enough, he could see the four vehicles approaching. Whoever it was would be lost by this point of the roads, unsure just where they were due to the maze Dean and Bobby had carefully planned out. The roads had been blocked up one by one until there was really only one easy way in and out of the camp.

It gave them time to determine intentions. Or try to.

Slipping from the truck hood, he strapped on a few weapons and waited for the convoy to notice him there.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jo Harvelle was tired. Tired physically, tired of trying to find a safe place in a world that no longer had any refuge anywhere, and of leading a group of survivors that kept getting smaller no matter what she did. Raising a hand, she ran it through her hair and leaned her head over towards the window a little more. The breeze cooled her a little, but the dust from the dirt road was choking so she sat back in her seat.

There were days where she longed to have her mother back; to have Ellen be the one leading them; to just relinquish leadership to someone else entirely. With a sigh, she recalled that day in Georgia months earlier when she’d lost her mother. Ellen had become infected and not bothered to try to hide it, accepting it with a calm Jo hadn’t understood at the time. Now, though, she understood completely.

Her mother had been tired, just like Jo was now.

__

Ellen held out her arm, a sad smile upon her lips as she displayed the bleeding gash there. “They got me, sweetie. I’m done for.”

“No, mom, no --” Dread gripped Jo with tight fingers. She was wrong, it couldn’t have happened, not to her mom. Anyone but her. No virus would lay Ellen Harvelle to the ground.

“Take these.” She held out her gun, then her keys. “You want the money too? It’s not much, but it might get you something. Whatever you want off me, take it.”

With numb fingers, Jo took both items from her. “Mom…. There’s still a couple hours before --”

Reaching her hand out, Ellen touched Jo’s cheek. “Better do it now, Jo. I can’t chance hurting you by waiting too long. Just…give me a minute, okay?” She took a deep breath and sat down against the brick wall. “Try to find Dean. That was the plan anyway, right? Keep moving, help who you can. You understand me, Jo?”

“Yes.” Tears clouded her eyes and overflowed to run down her cheeks.

“Promise me you’ll take care of these people.”

“Of course. I promise.”

“I love you, baby.”

She’d had only a few more minutes then before she’d had to shoot her own mother and leave her body there to rot. There’d been no time to give her a proper send off, not with more Croats coming after them.

“There’s a truck over there,” Mya in the seat behind her said in an excited voice. She leaned over the seat, pointing. “Looks like a man standing there.” Mya was always pleased to find people, even if it turned out their intentions were less than honorable. She was Jo’s age, yet Jo felt infinitely older than Mya.

Reaching for the binoculars, Jo told Rick to slow down. “Let me try to get a good look at him before we swing over.” She focused on the vehicle and the man waiting there. Jo gasped and lowered the binoculars. Castiel. She was sure it was him and if it was, that meant they were probably close to Dean’s camp, because she didn’t see Cas leaving Dean’s side. Castiel had been devoted to Dean. Her heart beat a bit faster in her chest at the prospect of finally being able to relax for awhile, even if it was nothing more than a day or two. The rest would be welcome. “Go ahead and turn in there, but stop a good ways away. Everyone stay in the trucks and let me go out to meet him.”

“You sure about this, Jo?” Rick glanced at her. 

He’d been a good friend these past months and while he’d shown interest in her to begin with, Jo hadn’t encouraged that interest. While leading, she had no time for romance. There were far more important things to do than kiss and cuddle and lose her head when she needed to be calm and rational. He’d turned to Mya instead and Jo had breathed a sigh of relief. She had to keep control, be the leader her mother had been, and hold them all together in a cohesive unit in order to survive.

“I’m sure. You can cover me if you like.”

“It could be an ambush.”

“True,” she agreed, surrendering the binoculars. “Here, Mya, keep a watch on the area.” Jo opened her door and slid out, taking her gun with her. She studied the rest area. The parking lot was overgrown, what asphalt there’d been choked by weeds and grass. The building appeared to be in good shape from a distance. Behind the building and spreading out in a half circle were trees, beautiful flowering trees that hadn’t been pruned for years now. Yards away, the woods began. The wilderness was already starting to take over those faint signs of civilization. How long before all traces were wiped away?

So, yes, Rick could be right. It could be a trap. Jo pursed her lips, considering that possibility as she prepared to start the trek along the road the rest of the way to the rest stop. If it was a trap, the people waiting were well hidden, though she supposed they could be at the tree line. She was taking a risk by doing this. The treetops swayed a little, leaves rustling.

Jo began to walk. The man, who really was Castiel she saw, remained where he was, waiting for her to come to him.

She slowed in her walking to take a closer look at him as she approached. His hair was ruffled by the breeze and she recalled it always being tousled, as though he’d no concept of a comb or brush. The look suited him. His gaze remained upon her, steady and calm. He wore jeans, a worn, faded t-shirt, and an army jacket. Jo let her gaze slip down him once more. Jeans? The last time she’d seen him, he’d still been wearing that suit and coat. 

Jeans were good, she decided. He looked comfortable and infinitely approachable in those casual clothes. She wanted desperately to run to him and embrace him tight; feel the lean strength of his body against her and let herself relax. Jo wanted to hand him the figurative reigns of leadership and sink back from that role.

Mostly, though…she wanted him.

That sudden stab of need, want, and lust inside her was unexpected and weird in its sharp intensity, her breaths quickening and a flush warming her cheeks. She couldn’t recall ever feeling such an instant yearning. She’d wanted men before, but not within seconds and not with this almost overwhelming physical desire. It rolled over her body, down and back up, over and over like waves on a beach, enticing her to give in and be pulled towards him.

Odd.

Jo glanced back at her people and forced herself to take slower breaths as she stepped onto the remains of the parking lot and over to him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jimmy Novak had been a vessel and a part of Castiel for years. He vaguely remembered Raphael blowing them up and then not much of anything else until Castiel’s powers had faded. Suddenly, he’d been wide awake.

In that instance, he’d had a clarity of mind he’d been lacking due to the sheer force of Castiel’s powers. Without those powers present, they were simply two guys stuck in one body, with Cas as the dominant controlling party. Jimmy could see, hear, taste, smell, and feel touches -- and things or people touched --, yet not actually control anything. 

And he was aware then of just how far Castiel had sunk in his depression. He’d had a fight to make Castiel aware of the extent of his wakefulness, but once Castiel had realized it, he’d become quite considerate. More so than he’d ever been. As bad as Jimmy had thought he’d had it as a vessel, he’d come to realize Castiel was better than most angels in that regard. He’d never mistreated Jimmy knowingly and now…. It helped that Jimmy had become vocal in most instances, mainly because Cas had no way otherwise of knowing when Jimmy was awake. The powers that had told him that were gone.

It was like being invisible in a way.

He had more of a life now, as strange as that seemed, than he’d had clinging to a full-powered Castiel, even if that choice had lost him his family. Jimmy wondered if Amelia and Claire were enjoying heaven. They should be, right? He knew they were gone. One demon had delighted in telling them they were dead and demons didn’t always lie. Jimmy’s family now was Castiel. And Dean, Risa…. All of those Castiel connected with. He’d made peace with it and had put Amelia and Claire aside.

He didn’t protest Castiel’s girlfriends, realizing that it wasn’t fair to Cas to do so, especially since he’d been neck deep in women by the time Jimmy had woken. Apparently, Castiel had no trouble attracting women. Something about a bitter, drunken ex-angel brought them to him in droves.

“Do you always have women throw themselves on the ground in front of you and spread their legs,” Jimmy had asked, not meaning it literally, only in the way that it seemed rather ridiculous to him that they behaved like Cas was some sort of drug they had to have.

“Pretty much,” Castiel had replied. “It baffles Dean, too.”

Jimmy decided that Cas needed normal relationships. He needed to interact with women -- and interact he had, eventually evening out most of the ‘relationships’ so they lasted more than a couple days. 

Occasionally Jimmy even gave him advice regarding women, advice that was of the different sort than what he got from Dean. Mostly, he tried not to be awake whenever Castiel…entertained, yet sometimes, inevitably, he found himself awake during intimate moments. When that happened, he’d close his eyes, a simple matter of willing himself not to see what Cas saw, and stay silent. He wouldn’t let Cas know what he’d seen, though the rest of the senses remained. Did Castiel know, he wondered. Did he suspect how much Jimmy had experienced with him over the years?

It had once made Jimmy uncomfortable, like voyeurism, but what could he do? He was stuck there and had learned to make the best of it.

Jimmy enjoyed the sunshine and, as the vehicles stopped and Castiel prepared to meet them, he woke up further, watching and very curious as to how this was going to play out. For a second, as Jo Harvelle came towards them, he was struck by her beauty and how the sunlight was almost a glow about her body. 

Suddenly, Jimmy remembered what it felt like to be in love. He remembered craving the woman’s attention in every area, not wanting to wait to see her again, and more. Their heartbeat quickened and he heard Castiel thinking almost the same thing about the sun and her body. The sight of her stirred a yearning inside them. 

She paused, as though in response to them, and when she resumed walking, Jo looked different to him. He wanted to get to know her as much as Castiel did.

Maybe he’d stay awake awhile and fulfill a bit of that longing.

~~~~~~~~~~

The vehicles -- two trucks, and two large SUVs -- turned off the main road and parked. The front passenger door to the truck opened, a woman stepping out. Her long blond hair whipped in the breeze. After a moment, she began to walk and as she came closer, Castiel recognized the woman. 

Jo Harvelle.

There was a weary confidence to her that hadn’t been present the last time they’d met. He could tell at a glance that she’d been down a long, hard road, yet her beauty remained intact. She was silhouetted by the sun, that light a flattering haze about her slender body. Cas’s breath caught in his throat and he had to clear it in order to speak once she reached him.

“Hey, Jo. Been a long time.” He watched her walk towards him and held up his hands to show he was unarmed. At least not where she could see a weapon. Dean had taught him the importance of having multiple weapons ready. There was assessment there in her eyes, mixed with…. He blinked. Desire? No, that couldn’t be right. He had to be seeing it wrong.

“Castiel.” She kept the rifle pointed at him. “You look different.”

He shrugged. “It’s 2014. Saw you last in, what? 2011? A lot happens in that time.”

“Got that right. You with Dean’s camp?”

“Maybe.”

“Cas.” She lowered the rifle a bit, shoulders slumping. “Come on.”

Would it hurt to confirm it? Probably not. “Okay, I’m with Dean. You want to put the rifle down?”

Her brows rose. “You have any open wounds?”

“No.” He tilted his head a little to the right, studying her. There were beads of sweat on her brow, her cheeks flushed a becoming pink. Her jeans were tight and tank top tighter, molding to her body, emphasizing curves that had filled out a little since the last time they’d met. He didn’t see any visible bandages or bulges of hidden ones. “Do you?”

“How do I know you’re telling the truth?”

Cas shrugged again. “Strip search?” He quirked a brow at her. “I’m up for it if you are.”

Jo opened her mouth, closed it, and started laughing. “You’ve spent way too much time with Dean. That was such a Dean comment.” She set the rifle down and stepped close, arms raising. “I’m damn glad to see you, Cas.” 

The hug would have been awkward on his part the last time he’d seen her. At that point, he’d still been uncomfortable with physical affection of that sort. This time, he embraced her back, sliding a hand down onto her rear, lifting her against him -- a full body hug. She felt thinner than she’d been, the curves of her body harder. He wanted to linger, to run his hands over her body slowly, committing her to memory. Her cheek pressed to his and he caught a tantalizing whiff of faded perfume on her skin. The hug lasted only briefly and then he set her from him.

“How many people?” He pointed at the vehicles stopped on the road.

“Fifteen plus me. We started out last fall in Virginia with over forty. If it wasn’t Croats picking us off, it was U.S. soldiers and scavengers.”

“You’re trying to find sanctuary for them?” It was a guess, but a good one. It was how they’d gotten quite a few people in the camp. People tried to find some safe place to rest.

She nodded, reaching down to retrieve her gun. “We heard rumors of other camps, but by the time we located them, they were gone, destroyed, nothing left. One had all the people strung up in the trees. Another had the children impaled on spikes and all the adults beheaded. Who _does_ that?”

He could name a couple demons right away who’d have thought both were fun Saturday afternoon activities.

“So please tell me there’s still a camp, still a place for these people to go, because if I have to tell them otherwise, I think they’ll all just give up, lie down, and wait to die.”

He glanced at the sky. “There’s a camp, but, uh, you should rest here first. Bring up your vehicles, pitch camp for the night and we’ll talk about it, you and I.” There was weariness and relief in her eyes and Cas stepped close again, putting his hands on her arms and caressing with a light touch. “I promise we’ll talk.”

“You’ll take us,” she asked.

“We’ll talk.”

She was a good leader to her people -- caring, stern, yet gentle when need be. Cas watched her the whole of the afternoon while she interacted with them, directing their efforts to make camp. They made a circular formation with their vehicles around his, like the wagon trains that had once headed out to the West, leaving a center that felt protected.

He gave a radio report, claiming the people needed to rest overnight, that they were exhausted. It was mostly true. The urge to simply drop was plain on their faces. Even Jo showed the strain. She needed rest as much, if not more so, than the others. He would observe them over the next hours, get a better feel for each person in order to give Dean a complete report upon returning.

Castiel watched her and he spoke to her people each in turn. Rick was wary of him, yet friendly, which seemed to be the tone for most of the people. They looked first to Jo, then to Rick on how to react to him. Castiel got the impression that Jo and Mya were friends by necessity, the two talking and joking in soft voices as they worked. By the time he was done, he’d decided there probably weren’t any trouble makers Dean would need to watch out for. Still, he’d ask Jo later if she thought there’d be trouble from anyone.

As he watched Jo, a desire for her grew within him. It was no light, idle want, but rather a consuming need to be inside her. He wanted to lay her down right now and take her -- just rip her clothes away to feel her bare skin against his. He wanted her sleek limbs wrapped around him and her mouth locked to his as he found ecstasy inside her. The thoughts took hold of him, scenes of that imagined coupling filling his mind, distracting him from the task of settling them for the night.

Cas knew Jimmy was awake, but when he attempted to ask if Jimmy felt the same thing, Jimmy didn’t respond, playing possum for some reason only Jimmy knew.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Her ease with Castiel put her people at ease, though Jo wasn’t quite as comfortable as she let them think. She was very aware of his constant scrutiny and of the flicker in his eyes that denoted his interest in her. It wasn’t that his stare was uncomfortable in a bad way, because it wasn’t. Jo liked having his attention upon her, even standing up a bit straighter in response. She simply wasn’t used to acknowledging that sort of attention any more.

He exuded an aura of confidence and calm. Jo pondered the changes in Castiel as she directed her people in making camp for the night. He certainly wasn’t the Castiel she’d known. Gone was that sense of otherworldliness about him. He was just a very intense, focused man. Was he still an angel?

Jo cast a glance towards him. He’d charmed Mya and was helping her start a cooking fire, claiming it was safe to do so. They could have a hot meal tonight. She didn’t think he was an angel, but how much of that was gone? She found she wanted to get to know him.

He intrigued her more than a little.


	2. Chapter 2

After Risa had verified Dean’s version of events with Hank, she felt that horrible heat of embarrassment upon her face. Her suspicions had been wrong. She had to apologize to Dean, make it up to him somehow.

She found him in their cabin, sitting at the table cleaning a gun, the pieces of it laid out on the tabletop before him. He looked up when she came inside, setting the piece in his hands down and leaning back, brows raising in mute question.

Risa pulled out the chair beside him and sat down. “I jumped to conclusions.”

“I should have told you. Cas said --”

“Wait, you talked to Castiel about this?” She stared at him, hurt that he’d talked to Cas before her. Risa wasn’t sure why that hurt so much, because he’d always told Castiel things he didn’t tell anyone else, even her.

Maybe it hurt because she’d always thought husbands and wives would be each others best friend, like she’d seen with her own parents.

“He mentioned it --”

“Dean, is there nothing you don’t talk to him about? I mean anything at all? Does he know everything about us? Does he _have_ to know everything?”

“I don’t tell him everything, Risa.” His foot nudged hers. “You were saying?”

Swallowing her annoyance with Cas’s inevitable involvement, she sighed, wiping her perspiring palms on her jeans. Cas was always involved somehow. There wasn’t any way on earth she was going to get away from it. The man -- angel, former angel, whatever he was -- was a firm fixed part of Dean’s life from before she’d even met Dean. She knew there was a story behind why their bond was so deep, but she’d yet to hear it. Dean didn’t like to talk about some things. “I should have trusted you and I know that, okay? It’s hard for me to do that, even now.”

“I know.” Dean crossed his arms on the table. “It’s hard for me to remember to tell you things. For a long time it was me and my dad, then me and….” He cleared his throat. “Cas came along, added Bobby, and by the time you and I made things permanent….” He leaned closer. “Risa, I’m still getting used to this, just like you are. Man, I never thought I’d have a long-term girlfriend, let alone a wife, so you’ll have to keep that in mind. Frankly, though, I thought you trusted me.”

“I do trust you, Dean, but…you’re only human. Men --”

“Men screw-up and screw you over. I’ve heard the story and I get what’s going on in your head about it, but I made a promise to you that I’d be faithful to you and I meant it. You think I’m going to break that promise?”

“Not willingly.”

“What do you want me to do here, Risa? I’ve got a camp full of people who need leading and one of the things that goes along with that is comforting them when they’ve lost the people they love most in this world. It’s part of my responsibilities.”

What she wanted was to be included, to feel like he valued her involvement, and to not be afraid he’d leave her. “Take me with you. Let me help. Don’t go alone in the middle of the night. Most of all, talk to me.”

“Anything else?”

“That’ll be a good start.”

After a moment, he nodded. “Okay. From here on out, I take you with me to pay respects, even if it means a detour to find you. No more midnight visits just because I know the person is awake.” One hand moved beneath the table, reaching out and gripping hers. “We talk more than I’ve ever talked with a woman outside of bed, just so you know.” He turned his head a little. “We good now?”

“I suppose.”

“Good, because I need to talk to you about tomorrow.”

“What about tomorrow?”

“We’ve got a convoy coming in. Cas is bringing them, probably in the afternoon. I told him to let them sleep in tomorrow, give us a chance to get a few people out there to observe them. I’m going to need you to direct them, get them settled once they do arrive.”

Why her? Usually Dean was in the thick of things, giving orders and meeting people.

He studied her, squeezed her hand. “I think you’ll be a good judge of who we can put where until we can make more permanent arrangements for all of them. Cas says there’re sixteen people, five of them couples and the rest single. When Cas gets back, he can get one of the little cabins ready for the group leader.”

“Are you anticipating trouble?”

Dean released her hand and reached for the pieces of the gun again. “No, but let’s be prepared for it anyway.”

She pretended to read for awhile on their couch, watching him in the low light. Periodically, he’d glance up and smile a little in her direction. Her trust issues could easily come between them if she didn’t get a grip on them. The thought of losing him terrified her. Dean Winchester was the best man to come into her life in a very long time.

~~~~~~~~~~

With the watch team in place, Jo made a final circuit of the camp herself, making sure things were shut down for the night and if they had to fight, they could. She spoke to Rick for a few minutes, going down their checklist with him, and briefly discussing their tentative plans for the next day. As they spoke, she noticed Castiel sitting on the tailgate of his truck watching them. She wrapped up the conversation and approached him.

“Hey.”

“Hey. You’ve got everyone settled for now, right? And the watch team is patrolling? It’s the perfect time to have that talk. Come on in.” Castiel beckoned with one hand. “Join me.”

Jo hoisted herself up onto the tailgate and into the bed of the truck. He had a topper on it and she was amused to note he’d apparently come ready for camping. He had a blow-up mattress wedged in the bed with a sleeping bag laid over it, a cooler up by the cab, and those stick-on lights the ran on batteries and tapped on. He even had a couple flat pillows.

“Cozy,” she remarked, moving up onto the mattress and touching the pillows. They weren’t plain flat pillows, they were that memory foam stuff. “Memory foam, right?” She’d been using a rolled up sweatshirt as a pillow for weeks.

He grinned. “Yeah. We raided one of those mattress stores for their entire stock of them. Ever since Dean tried one in a mall one day --”

“Dean went to a mall? Willingly?”

“Long story.” By the amused look on Castiel’s face, it was quite a story, too. “Anyway, he wanted a couple about four months ago and decided it was time we had some pampering. If you can’t justify a little pampering at the end of the world, when can you, right?”

“You camp out here?”

“I like to be alone sometimes, take a couple days by myself out here in the woods. Drives Dean nuts. The first time I went out by myself like that I didn’t take a radio. I’ve never seen Dean quite that angry before and I’ve seen him just swimming in ire. Well,” he shrugged, “you know how he is about those he considers his own. He ordered me to keep a radio close at all times. When the cell service finally went, I think Dean had withdrawal from it.”

She smiled, conjuring up an image of Dean with his cell phone, lamenting the loss of it, maybe even giving it a funeral.

“We keep this area pretty well patrolled. Not saying Croats don’t slip past, because it does happen and did regularly for quite awhile, but it’s rare these days.”

When she was settled in a semi-comfortable position on the mattress, he raised the gate and closed the topper access, though the window was cracked for air. He closed the thin cotton curtain, giving them privacy. The curtains to the cab and on the sides were closed already, rigged so that no one could see them.

It was close quarters with not a lot of head room. Cas moved up to join her, lying on his side and stretching an arm up. He removed two bottles from the cooler, opened them, and handed her one. “Here. It’s not that brand you liked and it’s not cold, but it’s all I have right now. I wasn’t planning on company and I happen to like warm beer so I didn’t bother with an ice pack.”

Jo thought she’d never tasted one as good. It’d been weeks since she’d tasted anything except water. Only water was essential and they were down to only essentials. “Thanks.” She took another long swallow, “It’s great,” then mirrored his position, lying on her side.

“You’re very welcome.” Reaching up, he bumped off all but one of the lights. The remaining light seemed dimmer than the others had been, barely a candle glow.

They chatted in as the sounds of the others outside died down and people went to sleep, scooting closer in order to talk in low voices that wouldn’t easily be overheard.

He stared at her a long moment. “Was it what you thought it would be? The hunting life, I mean?”

Jo took a swig from her bottle in an effort to stall answering the query. In truth, no. Dean and her mother had both been right. She’d had an overly romantic view of that life, and while she’d been very good at putting together a file, hunting was hard for a young woman by herself. There were a lot of prejudices against cute young blonds that she’d had to work against.

When Sam, possessed, had found her in Duluth, she’d been doing a helluva lot of soul-searching on what she really wanted. Jo’d half talked herself into cutting her losses, sucking it all up, and returning home to Ellen’s inevitable chorus of ‘I told you so’, when Sam had found her. Sam and Dean Winchester, pulling her head-first back into the drama and bolstering her resolve.

Her life after that incident hadn’t changed. It had been every bit as hard as it had been and continued to be such until Ellen had found her. If Jo’d had any doubts about her mother’s abilities, they’d been quashed at Ellen’s fist at her motel room door at three a.m.. Ellen had proven to Jo that she still had a few things to teach Jo about life and hunting. Jo could admit that Ellen had made it easier and not just with the money issue. Her mother had known an awful lot of people and had plenty of contacts to help them out on many occasions.

“No,” she replied with all honesty. “It was nothing like what I’d thought, but then, it never is, is it? And this here?” She gestured to the camp outside. “It’s certainly not the life I signed up for. I never had any desire to lead people; never thought I’d be in charge of fifteen people, let alone the over forty I started out with. Dean always made it look easy, you know?”

“I do. He does.” Castiel moved even closer, his face now only a few inches from hers. She could feel the heat from his body against her, smell the ghost scent of a pleasant aftershave on his skin.

“I thought doing some good meant killing a few monsters, exorcising a few demons. It’s a lot more than that. Somewhere along the way, I learned that nothing really gets easier. There’s no magic age where all problems go away and you can handle anything. Sure, you get better at some things, yet overall, getting older sucks. More responsibilities, many never anticipated. Like, I thought my mom would be around forever. I thought there’d be plenty of time for us to iron out the whole mother-daughter drama we had going on and by the time we did, it was too late to enjoy it. We wasted so much time, Cas. I wish I was just half the woman she was.”

“Are you so sure you’re not?” Stretching his hand out, he gently tapped his bottle against her bare arm.

Jo laughed. “Uh…yeah. I’m very sure. Ellen Harvelle was like a force of nature, or don’t you remember her?”

“No, I remember Ellen. She was a…determined woman.” He lifted his bottle and drank as though the words were a toast.

“That’s one word for her. I look back now and cringe at how I was when Dean and Sam first walked into the Roadhouse: a cocky little immature snot so sure of herself and what hunting and life was all about. I’m amazed now that my mom didn’t take a switch to my spoiled ass -- or keep me chained up in the basement like I suggested she was trying to do.” The memory embarrassed her, and Jo shook her head, swirling the remaining beer in her bottle. “I’m sorry. I’m not even letting you get a word in edgewise.”

“I don’t mind.” He shifted again, smiling. He had a nice smile. “Isn’t catching up all about talking?”

“It usually involves both people talking and not just one monopolizing the time.”

“You’ve got a lot on your mind and….” One shoulder lifted in a shrug. “I’m patient. I can wait. What happened to Ellen, Jo? I asked Mya and she said to ask you.”

“Same story you’ll hear from anyone. Croat ambush. Happened outside Augusta, Georgia. She was infected, told me to shoot her, and I did.”

“Mya made it sound like some huge secret she couldn’t divulge without your approval.”

“Mya can be very cautious sometimes.” She licked her lips. “I don’t really like to talk about it or think about it. I had to kill my own mother. It sobers a person. Makes them grow-up a lot and fast.” Jo sighed and pointedly changed the topic. “Well, what about _you_? Is this life what you thought it’d be?”

Castiel considered the question with a slight frown, then shook his head. “Yes and no. There’s much more to humanity than I’d anticipated, things that can only be experienced and _can’t_ be experienced while having angelic powers. I’ve learned things no other angel can understand, but at the same time, it’s very much what I thought. Certainly not boring.” He drained his bottle. “I continue to study mankind and the bits of knowledge available when I can.”

“You’re a scholar?”

Cas chuckled. “Not how Dean describes it, but accurate. My study habits have come in handy on more than one occasion.”

Jo shifted position, her forearm touching his. The contact felt charged with electricity and she waited for whatever was going to come next. Whether it was simple conversation or more, she’d take it.

~~~~~~~~~

Rick crawled in beside Mya. “Ten bucks says that truck starts a’rockin’ within the hour.”

“I never bet on a sure thing.” She finished braiding her auburn hair. “Besides, Sunshine, I don’t have ten bucks.”

“I’d be willing to accept other payment,” he assured her with a lecherous waggle of his brows that she promptly ignored. He’d been hoping for some love in the evening himself, but Mya didn’t look particularly agreeable to that end. What she looked was worried.

“I’m sure you would,” she replied absently, lying down so she could still see Castiel’s truck. “What do you think of this Castiel guy?”

Rick considered the question. It had been obvious Jo knew him by her reaction upon first seeing him from their truck and she hadn’t seemed upset or worried either. More like relieved. He knew the task of leadership weighed her down, yet she’d been reluctant to give it up even when they’d had plenty of willing volunteers. She’d declined to step down, insisting to him in private that she had to follow her mother’s example. Ellen was her baseline for leadership decisions. What would Ellen do? At one point, he wouldn’t have been surprised if Jo tattooed WWED on the back of her hand.

Jo couldn’t let herself relinquish control, as though if she did, she’d fall apart completely. Maybe that was the case. She was a little tightly wound and more so as the days passed. Rick wondered what would happen when they reached Dean Winchester’s camp and Jo didn’t have to lead. Would she then fall apart? According to her, Dean would lead them and that was why they were heading to her friends.

Castiel was one of those friends, but how friendly had the two been way back then? The way she’d talked to him about Dean and Castiel…. Rick had gotten the impression that it was Dean she’d had something of a connection with, not Castiel. And yet she’d looked at Castiel all afternoon like she was hungry for him and not in a friend way. As the minutes, then hours passed, Rick had seen an answering hunger in Castiel directed towards her. A lot of lust going on between the two. He’d no doubt what would happen tonight and couldn’t help thinking it’d be good for Jo.

He joined Mya and said in a cautious tone, “He seems like a stand-up guy.”

“Yeah, maybe. He asked me about Ellen.”

“Jo _did_ know him before all this. Since she and Ellen were practically joined at the hip when I joined up, I’d assume he knew Ellen too. It’s a natural question.”

Mya rolled onto her back. “I told him I wasn’t sure Jo wanted me to say anything and for him to ask her.”

“A nice neutral non-answer.”

She shot him a dirty look. “He can just talk to her about it.”

“Well, what do _you_ think of him?”

“He’s…different. Don’t ask me how, because I don’t know. He feels old to me, like ancient, millennia old, but….” She shook her head. “I don’t know, Rick. I can’t get a handle on him and I don’t know what to think about that. Is it a bad thing?”

“Jo trusts him.”

“I know, but how does she know she can?” Her brows rose with the question. “She hasn’t seen this guy in years. He could have changed.”

Rick cast a glance at Castiel’s truck. He suspected Castiel _had_ changed and that was one reason Jo was now drawn to him. “Let’s try not to be too suspicious until he gives us a reason for it.”

She agreed, and quickly fell asleep. Rick, however, remained awake awhile longer, smiling a little when nearly to the hour marker, the truck across the clearing began to rock gently.

 

~~~~~~~~~

Jo drank the last swallow of her beer, feeling a pleasant little warmth in the pit of her stomach. When she went to set the bottle aside, he took it from her, setting it with his out of the way.

“You want another one? I’ve got a few more in there.”

Jo considered it, deciding not to. She didn’t want to be drunk. Her tolerance was low from not drinking anything but water in weeks. It wouldn’t take much to reach the point of intoxication. There was no way she wanted to walk into Dean’s camp tomorrow nursing a hangover. That wasn’t the sort of impression she wanted to give Dean. She shook her head. “No, I think if I have another I might actually become a little tipsy.”

“Tipsy can be good.” He leaned over, hand raising, fingers sliding along her jaw.

“Maybe.”

“Definitely.”

Before she could move, he was kissing her.

He was a good kisser -- gentle, playful, exploratory. Jo enjoyed the kiss, not protesting when he eased her back and continued to kiss her. It had been a very long time since she’d been kissed with the expertise in it that he displayed.

How did he get so good at it?

One led to many more that left Jo breathless and warm. It was nice to be held and touched by loving hands. She let it go on far longer than she normally would have, only just realizing how starved she’d been for affection of this sort. His weight was a welcome press over her and she wrapped her legs around him. One of his hands slid under her shirt, fingers warm against her skin. They were fast leaving playful territory for something far more serious and Jo wasn’t willing to stop it.

One night, she thought. Just one night. No one has to know.

Jo opened her eyes, making a decision she hadn’t made in years now. “Would you do something for me,” she asked, sliding her hands up his back beneath his t-shirt.

Raising up a fraction, he looked down at her a few seconds. His eyes seemed very dark. “Of course. What is it?”

“Play along.”

He touched her face, fingertips trailing across her brow. In seconds, he seemed to understand her request, head dipping in a slight nod. “I can do that. You have something in mind?” Gaze still on hers, he pressed his lips to the corner of her mouth.

“Yes.” Her cheeks were hot, flaming with heat. The air around them felt charged with electricity, all of the hairs on her arms standing up. Jo was embarrassed to say her request out loud, but how would he know if she didn’t?

“Tell me,” he coaxed, placing another kiss at the opposite side of her mouth.

She moved her hands to the waist of his jeans, thumbs slipping beneath the fabric. “Convince me. Persuade me. Don’t take no for an answer. Use dirty tactics.”

There was a flicker of surprise in his eyes. “You want me to… _force_ the issue?”

“Coercion, not physical force. Please. Otherwise, I can’t…. I don’t have casual sex, but I can do it if I pretend….” She closed her eyes, squeezing them shut, waiting for him to refuse and pull away.

“I understand. I’ll do it, if it’s what you want.” He shifted against her. “You do _want_ to have sex?”

Jo nodded, opening her eyes once more. “ _Hell_ , yes.”

“If you change your mind, how will I know?”

She gave him a word she’d say if she honestly wanted to stop.

~~~~~~~~~~

Her request startled him a little. It seemed odd to him that Jo would want that sort of experience. After all, Jo was a competent hunter and leader, but if that was what she truly wanted, he was happy to give that to her.

Castiel thought about her request and how he could give her the experience she wanted from him. Several scenarios flitted through his mind and he latched on one. A plan of action formed and he returned his hand under her shirt.

“Now where were we?” Cas tugged at the underside of her bra, pulling the fabric down and then shoving it up so her breasts were bare. “Ahh…there we are.”

Jo arched her back, pressing up against his hand, a soft moan leaving her lips.

~~~~~~~~~~

She was surprised by how relieved she felt by his acceptance and then immediately ashamed by it as well. She didn’t want to admit even to herself that she wanted him to take control of the situation; to take her objections and set them aside; to make it okay for her to have casual sex with him. She wanted him to remove the responsibility from her. After years of keeping a tight reign on herself by necessity, it was difficult to let go even when she wanted to.

Cas’s mouth left hers, lips caressing a trail to her ear, his voice a hoarse whisper. “Take your jeans off. I want to be inside you.”

A good crude cue to begin protesting. She unwrapped her legs, pushed at him. “Cas stop. I can’t.”

“Of course you can. Or I can. Whichever.” He unbuckled her belt, the sweep of his fingers along her waistband tickling. “Just slide them down and off.”

“Stop. Please?”

“Why? Why do you want to stop? I know you’re enjoying this. You want me inside you as much as I want to be there.” His voice remained smooth and low, with the practiced charm of a rake.

Exactly what she wanted and needed. Jo shuddered, fighting the urge to wrap her legs back around him. “That’s beside the point. I want to stop.”

“Come on, Jo.” He lowered himself against her again, lips sliding along her jaw in a coaxing caress. “It’s only sex.”

“There’s no such thing as _only_ sex. Cas, stop.”

He paused, but then levered off of her. “If that’s how you feel about it.”

“It is. I’m sorry. I learned a lesson a long time ago about self-respect and if I do this I’ll hate myself.” Jo bit her lip and sat up, pulling her bra back down. “We need to talk about tomorrow and going to the camp.”

Cas sat up as well. “Hold on. Not so fast.”

“What?”

His gaze dropped from her face down to the swell of her breasts and lingered. When it returned to her face, she glimpsed very convincing calculation swimming there. He was better at this than she’d expected him to be. Jo tugged her shirt back up, but not too far. Just enough to still leave a glimpse of her cleavage.

“There needs to be an exchange from your end if I’m taking sixteen people into a camp that’s already tapped out and full.”

“What do you want,” she asked with caution. “We don’t have much, but of course we’ll share what we have with the camp.”

One hand stretched to her, fingers touching her cheek. His thumb dragged across her lower lip. “Not them, Jo. Not your people. You. An exchange from _you_.”

She swallowed hard, wanting to lean over and kiss him again, but holding herself back. “I don’t have anything but my clothes and weapons.” She thought she could see where he was taking this and wholeheartedly approved of the scenario taking shape.

One brow slid upwards a fraction, his lips curving in a tiny, seductive grin. “Sure you do. Think really hard and it’ll come to you.” His hand lowered, fingers tracing the neckline of her tank.

She shivered, feeling her nipples harden into tight points, aching for him to touch them.

“Is that not clear enough,” he asked, moving closer. “How about…” His lips touched her temple, then moved to her ear, breath hot. “Put out to get in. One night per person. Your people need you.”

“I can’t,” she whispered.

“You mean you won’t.”

“I can’t.”

He sat back with a regretful turn to his brow. “Then I’m afraid I don’t remember the way to the camp.”

“That’s blackmail,” she protested. “You’re an angel, Cas --”

“Not anymore and not in a very long time. Come on, Jo. One night per person, that’s all. What would they tell you to do? If you asked them? Would they rather stay out here with your self-respect intact, or would they want relative safety at that cost? Is it really such a high price? Would they see it as one?”

“I can’t.”

“Take awhile and think about it.” He returned beside her, cupping her neck with one hand. “I won’t hurt you.”

“Please….”

“Make your decision before tomorrow morning. I’ll take a quickie on good faith as part of one night if it takes you all night to decide, but know that I’ll still want the rest of that night later. No decision, no go. I’ll leave you here. Try explaining that to them.”

“Prick,” she spat, jerking back and banging her elbow on the wheel well when he released her. She hadn’t expected him to.

“I can afford to be,” he replied, lying back, and stretching out on the mattress. “Let me know what you decide.”

She knew it wasn’t real, that he was playing the role she’d handed him, but she was very surprised by _how_ good he was at this, at taking a scenario and running with it. Jo thought he would be good in theater. “Cas, it’s been a really long time for me. I’m not on anything anymore.”

“Statistically, your chances of getting pregnant from one time are low. But if you’re afraid of going without, I might have some spermicidal jelly. That should ease any fears to that end.”

“It’s wrong to ask this of me. It’s not you.”

“It’s the new me.”

“I don’t think I like the new you.”

“Hey, give me a chance. I’m a fun guy these days.”

“Is it fun blackmailing me?”

“Coercion is actually the word you’re looking for because I’m using this to achieve a desired end. I’m being a go-getter, Jo, going after I want, or in this case who, in a way that ensures I prevail in that quest.”

“It’s wrong.”

“What’s wrong these days?”

“We don’t have anywhere else to go.”

“Then I guess you should be making that decision pretty soon, huh? How much is your self-respect worth?” He shrugged one brow at her.

~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel watched her face in the glow of that slap on light, the play of emotions there fascinating to see. She was pretty good at this herself. He watched her closely for nonverbal clues as to how to proceed.

“Dean won’t know?”

“Not unless you tell him.” An interesting decision to bring Dean into it.

“Fifteen nights.”

“Sixteen,” he corrected. “Don’t forget yourself.”

She caught her tongue between her teeth and shook her head. Jo sighed. “Okay, Cas. Sixteen nights for sixteen people.”

In one smooth movement, he sat, anticipation throbbing in his veins. He realized right then that he was going to achieve the one thing Dean never had no matter how hard he’d tried: get Jo Harvelle on her back beneath him. Maybe he’d even allow himself a little gloating in his dreams over that one.

Cas pulled his shirt off, tossing it up towards the cooler, then drew her against him. Her kisses were frantic with need and he had to lay her back to calm that surge of desire somewhat. If he didn’t calm her, this would be over far too quickly. “Shhh,” he breathed at her ear. He removed her shirt and bra, exploring her curves with slow sweeps that had her wriggling beneath him with impatience.

~~~~~~~~~~

Her body was aflame with desire, each pass of his hands and mouth on her skin pushing higher until Jo was desperate to be fully naked with him. Jo’s hands were shaking when she undid her jeans and slid them down and off. She felt like she couldn’t even begin to get enough air in her lungs and all she could think of was having him inside her. She was about to dispense with her panties as well when he stilled her hands.

“Not yet.” His voice sounded rougher, an almost palpable touch upon her, grating in a very good way.

Castiel slid down her body, lips nibbling along the waistband of her panties, his tongue swirling, hands holding her hips in place. He sucked at one spot about an inch below her bellybutton and Jo strained against his grasp, gasping for breath and shuddering when he moved lower to caress her thighs. The stubble on his jaw scraped pleasantly on the sensitive skin of her inner thighs, his breath hot, causing a clenching of further anticipation in her belly.

“Cas, please!”

“Mmm….” He returned up her body, drawing his tongue along her lower lip. “Are you ready, Jo?”

“Yes!”

“Are you sure?”

The tiny barely there kisses he rained upon her cheeks, throat and chest were a torture. “You’re a tease,” she managed.

“I never tease without following through,” he assured her, stripping her panties away. In a minute, the jelly was inserted and he was finally covering her body with his, pressing into her with a firm hard thrust. Jo gasped, gripping the sleeping bag beneath her for just a moment with her trembling hands before touching his sides.

“Easy. It’s okay,” he whispered against her ear, shifting their position so that her hips were tilted a bit more, enabling a deeper entry. He moved slowly at first, continuing to whisper to her all those sorts of things lovers sometimes whispered: how hot and wet she was, how tight, how much he enjoyed being inside her.

His thrusts increased, hands and mouth moving over her skin, and then he raised up, bracing on his hands. His eyes opened, gaze locking onto hers. Desire burned there and Jo couldn’t look away. The guys she’d known all closed their eyes at this point, but not him. He watched her at his moment of climax. Cas blinked, groaning and shuddering against her. With a deep breath, he lowered his body, pressing a tender kiss to her lips.

The hours of the night passed in much the same way, a sometimes slow spiral of desire constantly simmering between them. She couldn’t get enough of him.

~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel woke with a gasp, raising a hand to his brow and finding it slick with sweat. He was burning up, aching with need.

Tension thrummed in the air like loud insistent beats of music. The silken feel of Jo’s body against his was a sensuous torture he had to negate and there was only one way to dispel the tension. Cas skimmed his hand along her side, urging her onto her back. Her eyes opened, gaze heavy with sleep as she complied, her hands reaching for him, thighs parting to accommodate him, her mouth latching on to his.

There was no need for foreplay, Jo arching up with an eagerness that surprised him, her nails digging into his back.

Castiel lost himself in the moment.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jimmy woke to a feeling of arousal so intense that he couldn’t have spoken a word to Castiel even if he’d tried. Sensation flowed over him, a rushing flashflood of it carrying him away. He was helpless to do anything but feel.

When Castiel opened their eyes, Jimmy looked down at Jo. Their eyes met. Wrapped within their climax was a familiar sensation: a total complete connection with her on all levels. He felt Castiel’s joy and satisfaction in it, let it roll over him. He felt whole for the first time since Amelia and in that was something much more, something he’d only felt once before in his lifetime.

He waited until Cas was slipping into sleep before sharing the revelation he’d had.

~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel was drifting to sleep once more when Jimmy spoke, his voice little more than a whisper.

Bet you a hamburger with all of the trimmings that we knocked her up just now.

Cas opened his eyes. _What? Do you know something I don’t?_

Oh, it’s just that I had that same feeling when Amelia got pregnant with Claire. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t know it happened, because sometimes you can. I did.

Feeling? Cas turned his head on the pillow to look at Jo. She was curled on her side facing him, lips parted a fraction, already sound asleep.

Of not being able to stop even if I’d wanted to -- which I didn’t and neither did she. Like now.

You’re imagining things, Jimmy. You’re just happy to have been awake during sex again. Don’t think I don’t know you’re awake sometimes. Besides, we used…. He broke off with a sharp gasp, realizing he’d neglected the spermicidal jelly they’d been using.

Oh no you didn’t, was Jimmy’s almost cheerful reply. _I guess starting over from scratch is okay, though I’d like some input into names, considering I was awake in the moment. No offense, Cas, but some of the names of your brothers and sisters are weird._

Aren’t you jumping the gun a little?

Jimmy snorted. _Hardly. I’m giving you something to think about so you’re prepared when she gives us the news in a couple months._

He adjusted the sleeping bag over Jo. _Come on, Jimmy. You can’t know._

You tell yourself that. Remember: a hamburger with all the trimmings.

Castiel laid awake the last hour before dawn, getting up when he heard the camp begin to stir. Jimmy was teasing him. He had to be.


	3. Chapter 3

Chuck wrote in feverish bursts in between long pulls off the whiskey bottle at his elbow and shudders of discomfort as he worked on a very long, graphic sex scene. Now that he knew it was all real, scenes like this made him extremely uncomfortable. He didn’t want to see into other peoples sex lives. Really! He hoped they’d end soon and he could rest, but the visions showed no sign of stopping. His head was throbbing from a migraine and lack of sleep and despite hardly having eaten in two days while writing, he wasn’t nearly as sloshed as he rightly should be for the amount of alcohol he’d ingested.

He whimpered. The scenes were coming far faster than they had, overtaking his waking hours until he was having them when he was wide awake instead of when he was asleep. He’d been pretending to be sick, but somehow he had to go out tomorrow and function because Castiel was bringing in a group of people and Chuck was going to have to deal with them. He had to pretend everything was fine and he wasn’t having visions again.

With a glance at his watch to judge the time he had left, Chuck groaned. It was already six in the morning. He’d been up all night again, filling page after page in the notebook, unaware of the passage of time.

Finally, around seven-thirty, the visions dried up and Chuck sighed with relief, his headache abating. Maybe it was the alcohol kicking in. He laid his pen down on the page, gave the pages he’d finished already a quick glance, then got up. He’d better have some breakfast before the day really began.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dawn was his favorite time of day. Dean had never understood why, though Castiel had tried to explain it to him. Dawn meant a fresh new day where something could turn out better than the previous day. There was a chance. Maybe not a big one in these times, but a chance nonetheless. It seemed to Castiel that there was a renewed freshness to the crisp morning air.

He slid his clothes on and made sure Jo was covered up before leaving the truck bed. There was an old pump behind the rest stop and he filled a jug with water, then took it into the men’s side of the building for a quick sponge bath. When he was done, he refilled the jug to take it to Jo. She was going to want to wash a little before getting dressed. He thought about offering her the use of his shower so she could have some privacy for awhile when they got to the camp. She’d like that, he suspected. A nice, long hot shower with plenty of water that stayed hot.

He wondered if she’d like to spend time with him once she was settled in. Maybe they could go for walks, go swimming, watch movies…spend nights together. Castiel wanted to take her to the little beach he’d found. It was rough and the sand was overgrown with weeds, but it was a nice secluded area to spend a few hours relaxing. Besides, it was accessible only by boat. He’d never taken anyone there before, preferring to keep it private, a place that was only his. Castiel wanted to share it with Jo. He imagined her lying on a blanket or towel in a barely there bikini, smiling at him and asking him to rub lotion on her back. He’d certainly oblige her.

Dean and Risa had a tv and fancy DVD player set up in their cabin, plus a selection of movies in a wide range of genres. As long as the electricity worked, Dean wasn’t about to give it up. Cas thought it might be nice to spend an evening with Risa and Dean -- provided Jo got along with Risa. If not, then he’d pick up a tv and DVD player somewhere and have someone set it up in his cabin. Then he and Jo could watch whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. Maybe he’d do that anyway. If she was interested. He wanted her to be comfortable, to feel free to come to his cabin and stay awhile, and if having a tv would help….

As he walked back to the truck, one of the watch team from the previous night gave him a long, speculative stare, yet turned away without saying anything except ‘morning’. If Jo thought her people didn’t know or couldn’t guess what had happened between them, then she was really deluding herself. Cas imagined the truck had been rocking pretty good there for awhile.

He radioed in and made a quick report to Dean, amused to find Dean awake and waiting. They quickly discussed Cas’s observations from the day before and made plans for Cas to bring the group in a little after lunch time. Dean wanted to have a team out to observe them and follow them in, a guard against trouble.

Castiel sat in the seat for awhile, watching the sky lighten and thinking about all the things he’d like to do with Jo. It was odd in a way. He’d never really wanted to get to know any of the other women the way he wanted to know Jo. He wanted to learn everything about her, to figure her out, and discover how to make her happy. Cas recalled Dean rambling on about love once while drunk. It was right after he’d proposed to Risa and he’d insisted that Castiel join him to celebrate.

“It was like that.” Dean had snapped his fingers. “We were arguing like we always did and then I just knew she was the one. It was the weirdest thing I’ve ever experienced and you know I’ve experienced some weird shit. Why her? I mean, she irritated the piss out of me on a daily basis, we constantly argued, but…. Cas, I love her. I know I love her. I had no idea what love was before, you know? It’s this. It’s wanting to spend my life with her, to make her happy, to think of what she wants before my own wants. It’s feeling like I’d be incomplete without her. It’s knowing that she helps make me a better man. It’s….” He’d rambled on in the same vein for nearly an hour.

Cas remembered the day Dean had mentioned well. Dean and Risa arguing to be arguing and himself lying in the sun, enjoying the heat of it on his body and ignoring Jimmy’s insistence that they were going to burn if he didn’t put on some sunscreen already. He’d felt…something _familiar_ in the air, something he remembered from his days as an angel, yet he couldn’t fully grasp what it was until he’d seen the sudden change in Dean and Risa. They’d stopped arguing, smiled at each other, and started laughing. Castiel had looked around in vain for the Cupid, knowing he couldn’t see him, yet trying nonetheless. It had to be a Cupid. Dean and Risa actively disliked each other.

That had been his first clue that heaven wasn’t as disinterested in what was going on down here than was pretended. Castiel had suspicions as to why his brethren had pulled up and completely left the earth, taking with them every rank of angel, but as nothing changed as a whole, he kept his thoughts to himself. He could very well be wrong and no amount of dwelling upon it would bring answers. 

With a sigh, he retrieved a cloth and bowl from behind the seat and took it into the bed, placing the items near her where she’d see them when she woke. Next, Cas found her clothes, folding them in a neat pile beside the bowl and water jug. Not once did she stir. She looked like she could sleep for hours yet. It wouldn’t be a problem if she did. They had plenty of time.

Leaning over, he caressed her cheek, surprised to immediately feel another pull to have her. Castiel closed his eyes and drew in a breath. _Calm down_ , he told himself.

__

Easier said than done, was Jimmy’s tart and very prompt reply. _She’s a hot little number. I’m all atwitter with anticipation for more. She’s a step up from a couple of those girls you’ve been seeing._

Atwitter? When did you get so randy? Nice that Jimmy felt comfortable enough to speak so freely about Jo.

_  
_

Since seeing her bounce around in that tight tank top and jeans yesterday. You think she’ll dress like that all the time? It’d be nice if she did. I certainly wouldn’t mind it. Would you?

Opening his eyes, he shook his head and moved to the bag he kept near the cooler. A quick glance showed he needed to replenish everything. He and Jo had gone through his emergency last-ditch stash of birth control methods. He’d been meaning to fill it back up again for awhile now.

__

Doesn’t really matter if we have something or not since she’s already knocked up. Let’s get undressed, crawl in with her and wake her up, have another go. I bet she won’t mind. She didn’t mind last night.

__

She’s not pregnant, Jimmy. Cut it out. We’ve got a long day ahead of us. He folded the bag down, set it against the cooler, and eased past Jo.

__

Suit yourself, Jimmy replied and was silent.

Castiel got out of the truck bed and closed the gate back up. He approached Mya, watched her cook a moment then crouched down to help her.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dean had trouble sleeping, but it wasn’t the sort of trouble he used to have. He couldn’t sleep because he was curious about Jo -- how she was, what had happened in the time that had passed since he’d seen her last. He dozed more than slept, waking up every other hour to look at his watch until finally, he did sleep.

He woke curled against Risa, his head pillowed on her breasts. She liked to sleep on her back and he liked to sleep on his stomach, which made for an almost perfect arrangement. He’d lie there using her for a pillow, an arm about her waist, one leg between hers. It amazed him that they were both comfortable like that.

Even when they both woke in a pissy mood, Dean enjoyed waking up beside Risa every morning. He’d lie there and watch her, unable to truly fathom that she was his. The end of the world was not the time to fall in love, yet that’s exactly what he’d done in between leading the camp.

A spot of light in the dark.

He got out of bed, careful not to wake her, but when he emerged from their bathroom, Risa was awake. She’d neglected to braid her hair the night before and it was a wild tangle about her shoulders.

“It’s still early,” he told her. “Get another couple hours.”

She rolled over, gathering the covers against her and yawning. “Why are you up at this hour? It’s not even seven yet.”

Dean pulled on jeans, a t-shirt, and button down over that. “It’s gonna be a long day. Thought I’d get an early start, maybe talk to Chuck about later.”

“You mean be ready when Castiel radios in.” She arched a brow and smiled.

She knew him well. The plan was to grab some breakfast, then wait for Cas to call-in.

“You got me.” Leaning down, he kissed her. “I want to be ready.”

Raising a hand, she touched his cheek. “I’ll be down to join you in awhile.”

“No rush. Come down when you’re ready.”

He headed for the dining hall and a few cups of very strong coffee.

~~~~~~~~~~

The bed of the truck was cool, but Jo was nice and toasty in the sleeping bag. Sure, she was a little sore from the unaccustomed sexual activity, the muscles of her hips and thighs tight, breasts tender from Castiel’s ardent caresses and mouth swollen from those constant passionate kisses, but it was a good sore. Jo rolled over and stretched, pointing her toes and arching her back. All in all, she felt more alive than she had in a very long time. Alive, content, peaceful, and more relaxed than she’d felt in months.

Jo sighed. For one moment there in the middle of the night, she’d felt like they were one and not two, a sensation she’d read about, yet thought was pure fiction. She’d looked up into his eyes and known a complete connection to him. There was something special about that moment, something to be treasured. She wondered if he’d felt it too.

She turned her head on the surprisingly comfortable thin pillow. To her left, in a neat pile, were her clothes. Beside them was a bowl and a jug of water, a small cloth in the bowl. He was thoughtful, she decided. Smiling a little, she sat up and reached for the water.

While she bathed, yet another sponge bath, Jo daydreamed that Dean’s camp had running water and electricity. She missed both. After months, they seemed like dream luxuries that she’d never see again.

Would he want to see her again? Jo hoped so. She’d enjoyed herself and rather thought she’d like a few repeats of the evening. Not just sex though. She wanted to spend time with him otherwise, get to know who he was now, since it was more than obvious he’d changed quite a bit. The Castiel she’d met years ago would never have done what they’d done. He was different now and so was she.

Sitting there in the back of his truck, she felt as though her guard had come tumbling down completely some time during the night, revealing who she was beneath the façade she put up for her people. She’d been very careful to only show confidence to them these past months. Jo dressed slowly, reflecting on that, knowing she needed to pull herself together for a little while longer.

She had finished dressing and was finger combing her hair when Castiel opened the tailgate and climbed in to join her. Her heart beat a bit faster in response to his nearness.

~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel crawled up to sit beside her. “Morning.”

“Hey.” She looked sleepy, but relaxed, her hair loose about her shoulders, slipping down across the side of her face.

__

Rowr, Jimmy commented. _The Veronica Lake looks works for her._

__

Stop it, Jimmy. It’s getting old. Who is Veronica Lake?

__

She was an actress and pin-up model in the Forties.

__

You know as much useless trivia as Dean, Castiel accused him. “Hey.”

_  
_

I’ll have you know Veronica Lake was a sex symbol and a good one. Vintage pin-ups aren’t trivia, Cas. They’re a rich part of history.

Right. 

“Morning.”

Leaning over as though to kiss her on the mouth, he detoured at the last second and kissed the tender spot directly behind her jawbone and below her earlobe, that spot that made her gasp in pleasure every time, swirling his tongue along it until she pressed against him. Her hands raised, clenched in his shirt. “I had a crazy good time last night,” he told her, sliding his hand beneath her tank top at the small of her back. “When we get to camp, and after you’ve settled in, I’d like to keep seeing you. A couple times a week, more if you’re amenable to it.”

Jo shifted, back stiffening. 

Before she could say anything, he hurried on. “I want to talk a minute without the playacting. Can we do that?”

“Yes.” Her hands unclenched from the fabric of his shirt, slid across it, smoothing it.

The open vulnerability on her face tugged at him. “You don’t have to be afraid of me for any reason. You know that, right?” He swept his hand along her back as she nodded. “And you know I’d never hold you to a bargain like that, nor would I make such a bargain in reality.”

“I know.”

“Do you want to keep seeing me?”

Her teeth grazed her lower lip. “I’d like that, but….”

“You’d like to continue the scenario,” he guessed, with a quirked brow. 

“If you don’t mind.” Hesitance in her voice.

“I don’t mind at all, as long as you let me know how far is too far with it.” Taking one of her hands in his, he slid his thumb across the back. Her skin felt very thin there, the bones prominent. If she ate well enough, she’d fill out nicely. “I _do_ get it, Jo, just so you know. The…scenario…fills some need in you. You need it -- for now. I can work with that, but let’s set down a few guidelines about how we’re going to go about it. Do you want it in private only or in public too?”

“A little of both?” She squeezed his hand. “But nothing that would seem strange to anyone.”

“Sure and you can stop it at any time. Just say that word you gave me last night and we’ll drop it and head into normal territory.”

She smiled. “Okay.”

“Okay,” he repeated, twining their fingers together. “We good on this? All set to play?”

Jo nodded. “I think so.” She tucked her hair behind her ear. “Cas…. Thank you.” She shrugged. “You know, for understanding --”

“It’s not as strange a quirk as you think.” He cleared his throat. “Mya sent me to wake you for breakfast.”

They were to have breakfast, leisurely break camp, and head out. It was after eight already, most people having slept in a little, just as he’d hoped.

~~~~~~~~~~

It was a relief to know that he understood the basic reason behind what she wanted from him despite not knowing the full reason and that he was willing to continue with her. Jo was as close to happy as she’d been in years.

She ate toast with jam for breakfast, unable to eat the powdered eggs Mya had cooked. It had to be real for Jo or none at all. The powdered were nasty in her opinion. Which reminded her….

When she was done, she pulled Mya aside and asked for the inventory list of all the items they had in main storage. With it in hand, she returned to sit beside Cas.

“Here. This is what we’ve got boxed up to share. Because we were always moving, we had to be careful how much we took, but we’ve got a little in each vehicle. Food of course, but a lot of shampoo, soap, deodorant and the like. My mom said once that those things would become luxuries as time passed, so we started hoarding a little. There’s more here than we can use at present. Each of us have extras in our bags anyway. And we have some antibiotics and things like that. Rick was a pharmacist before all this hit, so he has something of an idea what to grab up when we get a chance.”

“Chuck’s going to kiss you, Jo.” He handed the notebook back to her.

“Okay. Who’s Chuck?”

“He’s our guy in charge of supplies. He was moaning the other day about running out of personal hygiene supplies. These will make him giddy.”

“Happy to have something you need.” She watched him sip the coffee. “Shouldn’t we get going soon,” she asked with an eagerness she couldn’t hide.

Castiel cast a sideways glance at her. “In a hurry?”

“It’s been a long trip.”

“Let me finish Mya’s excellent coffee and I guess there’s no reason to wait.”

They began to break camp within twenty minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dean whistled as he walked across the camp. He was in an odd good mood. Finding survivors always did that to him and Cas was bringing them in. Jo’s group. He smiled a little at the thought of Jo leading a group of people. While he’d always known she had the ability inside her, that she’d gotten to the point of doing it successfully pleased him. She’d apparently come a long way from that girl he’d met years earlier. He looked forward to catching up with her on everything.

He rounded one corner and came across Chuck. His back was to Dean and he kicked the side of the building with a foot, muttering, “Damn it, damn it, damn it,” before drinking deeply from a whiskey bottle. Dean cleared his throat. “Isn’t nine in the morning a little early to be drinking?”

Chuck swallowed and turned to face him, peering at him with squinted eyes. “I haven’t been to bed yet. Does that count for or against it?”

His morose tone made Dean study him closer. Chuck was disheveled, eyelids heavy over bloodshot eyes that were ringed by dark smudges. He smelled strongly of whiskey -- déjà vu for when they’d first met. “You okay?”

“No…yes…um…” Chuck shook his head. “No, not really. I’m not okay. I…I…I just can’t be…”

“Anything I can help with?”

Chuck gave a start at the question, eyed widening. “No.”

“Then go get some sleep. Get some of that out of your system. I’ll need you later today. Cas just radioed in again. Jo’s group, that one he found yesterday? They’ve got --”

“A very welcome addition of personal hygiene products and first aid items.” He was unsurprised, saying the words the exact way Dean had been going to say them, as though he already knew.

But he couldn’t know anymore, not like he once had, because Chuck claimed he hadn’t had a vision since the angels bugged out and flew for heaven.

“Tell me that was just a lucky guess.”

Chuck sighed, swirling the liquid in the bottle. “What else could it be? The stuff I mean. You seem overly pleased by the prospect of more people. I figured those two would add some buoyancy to your steps.”

While there didn’t appear to be deceit in voice or expression, Dean had the gut feeling that Chuck was lying. “Buoyancy to my steps? You _have_ been drinking. Not to mention you had your back to me just now.”

“I’ve had a few cocktails the past several hours.”

“This is what you meant when you said you were sick? Hair of the dog turn into another long day of sucking down the whiskey?”

Chuck looked away. “It won’t happen again, Dean.”

“I’m not telling you that you can’t drink, just…pick your times a little better. And you don’t have to drink alone. Cas and I’d drink with you. All you gotta do is ask.”

“That’s a nice offer. Thank you. I’d better get some sleep. An hour, maybe two.”

“You do that.” He watched Chuck amble away towards his cabin, clutching that bottle like a lifeline. It was ridiculous to think Chuck was hiding something. Chuck couldn’t hide things. It was one of the endearing things about him, that fact that he lied so poorly. There _was_ something off, though. Dean knew it. Eventually, he’d ferret out what that thing was.

Turning, he headed towards the gate to wait for Castiel’s return.

_  
_

~~~~~~~~~~

“You can use my shower when we get there.”

Jo hugged herself. The idea of an actual shower had her daydreaming again and she almost forgot to respond. “How generous.”

“It is.” 

He drove in silence a moment and Jo occupied herself by imagining the shower she was going to take, one with lots of soap and shampoo. She couldn’t wait to feel the water running down her body, almost crying at the anticipation.

“Or would you rather have a meal first? We’ve got a cookhouse dedicated to meals and a few pretty good cooks. The menu is limited to whatever we have, but it’s hot and filling.”

“As long as I’m not forced to eat reconstituted powdered eggs anymore, I think I’ll be fine with whatever.”

A snort of laughter left him. “Reconstituted powdered eggs?”

“Mya found a buttload of them somewhere and made Rick load them up. She said they were great when you couldn’t beg, buy, or steal real eggs, which unfortunately we haven’t been able to do in far too long.”

“They’re not real?”

“They were at some point, but I’m not sure they’re actually edible any more.”

“Mmm. Well, we have chickens, so we have fresh eggs available. We’ll save the powdered for emergencies.”

“Sounds good to me.” The cab of his truck wasn’t exceptionally dirty, nor was it particularly clean, more like somewhere in-between. There was a layer of dust on the dashboard. Jo resisted the urge to write ‘wash me’ on the dash with a finger. “The camp has running water and electricity then?”

“Thus far, yes. We had to do some work here and there on it all, but it’s all working. Hot showers, lights.” He looked at her. “We even have a few tv’s here and there.”

“There’s no service anymore.” The stations had been shut down by military demand nearly a year earlier. That had been, strangely, one of the hardest things to take. Jo’d grown up with tv and was used to flipping it on for noise. The constant quiet had been difficult to adjust to.

“Plenty of DVD’s to watch. Dean picks up all sorts of titles whenever we hit a place. We’ve got quite a library spread out over the camp.” Another longer glance her way. “Maybe we can sit down later this week and watch something together.”

She smothered a smile. “Maybe.” 

As they approached a dirt road on the right, he cleared his throat and squared his shoulders. When he spoke, he used that tone he’d taken to using for their…scenario. “So, shower or food first?”

“Why are you so hot for me to decide?”

“Because we’re only about fifteen minutes away.” He turned down that dirt road, slowing to make sure each vehicle followed.

Her lips parted. “This entire time we’ve been that close?”

“Sure have.”

She tried to play with that scenario she’d requested they keep up, but excitement over finally having an end to their endless wandering across the U.S. made it hard to concentrate. Jo simply wanted the journey over. “You tricked me. We could have found it without you.” Which was entirely true. She’d been paying attention to the roads and they’d have found this one fairly quickly.

“You never asked.” He turned an amused glance to her. “You’ll probably want to see your people settled tonight and get settled yourself, so shall we say tomorrow at my cabin for number fifteen on that list? I’m sure you want to settle up as quickly as possible, so we should get right on that.”

“I think I hate you.” She spoiled the words by the smile she was unable to hide.

Reaching over, he put a hand on her thigh and gave a gentle squeeze, his hand warm, lingering. Jo covered it with her own. “As long as you put out the requisite amount of nights total, I don’t care if you hate me. It’s the end, baby. Bang a gong, get it on.”

She slid a bit closer to him on the seat. He gave her thigh a last caress, then returned his hand to the steering wheel.

“If you’re concerned about anyone seeing you, come after dusk. You don’t have to leave at dawn, of course, though you can if you really want. And like I said, Dean doesn’t have to know unless you tell him.”

“I don’t plan on telling him.” She didn’t either, but somehow Jo suspected Dean was going to find out. It was likely he knew just about everything that went on in his camp.

He was quiet a minute, frowning as though trying to figure out how to tell her something. Cas tapped the wheel with his fingers. “There’s something I should probably tell you before we get there….”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve got a couple of girlfriends.”

Jo slid all the way back across the seat, pressing against the door. “You what?” She crossed her arms. “A couple…?”

“Girlfriends. Actually, I have four, but --”

“Four? Four girlfriends? You couldn’t mention this last night?” Her face felt hot and she knew she had to have gone beet red in seconds. Four girlfriends? How did that work out? She’d thought he was single, not attached to four women already. “Oh God…. I thought --”

“Calm down. I’m not serious about any of them and they all know about each other. They’ve always known about each other and that I wasn’t serious about anything I had with any of them. Mostly it’s a physical thing, though one of them was getting her PhD in astronomy when the virus hit, so I’ve had some nice conversations with her. I’m not attached to them.”

“You’re one of _those_ guys. My mom would kill me if she saw me now. I’m the other woman. I’m the other, other, other, other… _other_ woman. Was that too many ‘others’?” Ellen Harvelle had had many words on women who let themselves be ‘other’ women and none of them were complimentary. Jo groaned. Like she didn’t have enough issues already without adding this to it.

“It’s not like that, Jo. Calm down.” Cas reached an arm out towards her.

“Stop telling me to calm down.” Jo pressed closer to the door. “I’m perfectly calm.”

“Any closer to that door and you’ll fall out. It doesn’t latch properly.” He snagged her belt loop and tugged her back across the seat a little, slowing down. “I’ll tell them right after we get back that I no longer wish to see them if you like. Do you want me to?”

“You…. What?” She stared at him. “What do you mean by that?”

“I mean I’ll commit to seeing you exclusively. Today. The minute we get back.”

“You’d do that?”

He nodded. “I like you, Jo. I liked you back then, but I think I like you more now. I want to see if we can go anywhere and to do that, I need to do the big break-up with Kylie, Carrie, Nat, and Vanessa.” Castiel looked at her again. “Believe me, you’ll know I’ve told them. It’ll be around camp in an hour.”

“I’ll be walking in to four ready-made enemies.”

“Two maybe. You can take ‘em though.” His grin was lop-sided. “My money is firmly on you.”

“I should be yelling and screaming and clawing at you, you know. Four, Cas? Really?”

“I thank you for not doing any of those things and yes, four. They each have their charms, but none appeals to me like you do. I’d rather spend my time with you.”

Jo looked out at the road. They were coming up on a gate that had two men guarding it. She wasn’t kidding him. She should feel outraged and wanting to yell and so forth, but she was caught off-guard by his willingness to commit to her so quickly. Was it too quick? Did quick matter at this point? He was right about one thing: it was the end. If they could make each other happy for even a little while…. 

They drove through the gate and down a hill into a valley. There, she saw Dean standing. Tears prickled in her eyes. Jo wiped at them. “Okay, Castiel. You do the break-up thing and let’s see if we’re a good fit.”

“I will. You’ll hear tonight by dinner.”

They stopped and Dean stepped up to Cas’s open window, arms crossing on the frame as he peered in. “Well, well. Look at what the cat dragged in.”

She could see the pleasure and welcome in his eyes. Some of the tension that had remained in her shoulders released into nothingness. “Hey.”

He studied her, fingers tapping on the frame. “Well, don’t just sit there, Jo. Come on out where I can see you.”

Getting out of the truck and around to him, she waited. “Here I am.”

He embraced her and Jo sagged just a little in the comfort of his arms. When he drew back, he glanced at Castiel, who’d joined them. “I’ll take care of Jo for now. Why don’t you see if Risa needs any help getting Jo’s people settled?” His gaze flicked towards the dark haired woman standing by one cabin watching them. 

Cas saluted him. “Of course, oh fearless leader.” Jo felt his other hand in a surreptitious caress on her rear. He didn’t make any move to leave, instead doing a thorough tour of her rear with that hand. 

“Who’s Risa,” Jo asked, shouldering the bag Cas had taken from the truck for her.

“You’ll meet her in a bit, I promise, but for now, let’s get you somewhere to relax. Have a meal, a nap, maybe a good long shower.” Dean’s brows raised and he motioned to the path leading across the meadow and up a hill.

“Is that a comment on my hygiene?”

“I wasn’t gonna say anything, but now that you mention it --”

Jo socked him in the arm with one fist. “Jerk! I’ve been traveling for months. You try living on sponge baths that long and see how good you smell.”

“No thank you.”

He looked good, she decided. Tired, but good. A little older, a little wiser, just like her.

“Come on. You’ve been holding yourself together long enough. Let’s go somewhere where you can unwind and let your guard down. Your people don’t need to see that. Cas, do you mind helping Risa?”

“Oh, you mean now?”

“Yeah.”

“Right this second?”

Jo laughed as Dean pointed a stern finger at him. 

“Cas.”

“Just checking.” He gave her rear a last pat and walked away.

Jo followed Dean to the path. 

~~~~~~~~~~

As Risa approached the new arrivals, she noticed Dean with Castiel…and a pretty blond woman. Jealousy stirred inside her when he hugged the woman. He embraced her the way he usually embraced Risa, full body pressing together with his face turned into her neck, and the woman returned it the same way.

Risa stopped walking and watched, half afraid he’d kiss her too. She held her breath until he released the woman and motioned to the camp at large. The two had a history, she could see it in Dean’s familiar manner.

After a moment, she noticed Castiel approaching her with a sauntering stride.

It wasn’t that she hated him, because she didn’t. Risa rather liked him. What she hated was how close he and Dean were. It irritated her that Castiel was always _there_ , though she had to admit he did leave whenever she indicated she wanted Dean alone, and he did tend to go off by himself alone in the woods. Sometimes he took one of his girlfriends with him.

“Good morning, Risa. Dean sent me over to see if you require my assistance in settling the new arrivals.”

“He noticed me.” She hadn’t thought he’d seen her standing there.

Castiel frowned. “Why wouldn’t he? Dean notices you whenever you’re near.”

She motioned to Dean and the blond. “Who’s she?”

“Jo Harvelle.” He slid his hands into his pockets.

There was a sick, sinking sensation in her stomach, a queasy rolling wave sloshing back and forth. She knew that name. Jo Harvelle was the one that got away. Risa had once overheard a drunken Dean talking about Jo to an equally drunken Castiel. “I see.”

“I don’t think you do.”

She looked up at him with narrowed eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He sighed. “Just that Jo’s no threat to you. Since I know you won’t believe me, however, why don’t you tell me where you want to put these people and go catch up with them?”

Flicking her glance first to Dean and Jo’s retreating backs, then to the group waiting, and back to Cas, Risa nodded. “Okay. Put the couples in Cabot cabin and let the singles choose whether they wish to stay together as a group or not. Together, they can be temporarily housed in Carson cabin with Nell and Ryan. There are enough beds for all of them there. Separately they can have their pick. There are beds in Carson, Miller, Nichols, and Ren cabins. Let them know that Carson and Miller are the closest to the dining hall, Nichols to the shooting range, and Ren to the lake. If any of them have items they’d like to share with the camp as a whole, take them over to Chuck.”

“Anything else?”

She pursed her lips. “Dean mentioned last night that you’re going to get a little cabin ready for the leader?”

“That would be Jo. She’s single. Sort of.”

“Sort of?” He didn’t elaborate. “Will she need a bigger cabin or will a single be fine?”

He quirked a brow, a tiny curl of a grin on his lips. “I’d say one of the little ones will be perfect for her.” A mysterious expression. Risa wasn’t curious enough about it to ask.

“Take your pick, just mark it on the master list as being used.”

“Will do.”

“Then give them all a grand tour after they’ve seen their cabins.”

“Got it. In case you’re wondering, they’ll be at your cabin by now.”

“My cabin? Why would Dean take her there?” Her gut clenched once more.

“He offered her the use of your shower.”

“Why can’t she use yours?”

“Because mine is already taken.”

“Like we don’t have two different bath buildings filled with showers.”

“Come on, Risa. It’s been months since any of them had any semblance of privacy. It won’t hurt to accommodate them today, let them feel fully human again.”

He had a point. “I can’t just leave this job on your shoulders,” she protested, feeling a little guilty about wanting to run off, “not when Dean asked me to do it.”

“Sure you can. Dean asked and you delegated. You made the basic decisions, the same thing Dean does. Go on. I can do this in my sleep by now.”

Risa stared in the direction Dean and Jo had walked. “No, I’ll stay. I’ll do this and then I’ll go.”

He shrugged. “You don’t have to.”

She thought about trust and how she claimed to trust Dean, then, nodded. “Yeah, Castiel, I do.”

She’d do this job, trust her husband, and when the job was over, she’d go and meet the one that got away from him.


	4. Chapter 4

Since he could tell that Jo was dying to take a long shower, Dean left her in his and Risa’s cabin, promising to come back in about half an hour with food. He headed to the dining hall and was somehow unsurprised when Cas showed up while he waited for the food to be heated and boxed up.

Castiel leaned against the table, back to it, and without preamble said, “Jo spent the night with me.”

Dean eyed him a moment. “Yeah, she stayed at your favorite campsite.”

“No, she spent the night _with_ me, Dean.”

He blinked, considering the words and how they’d been said. It sounded like there was a little bit of gloating in Cas’s tone. “You mean _with_ you, with you? As in ‘beast with two backs’ with you?” Dean completed the words with a hand gesture to illustrate what he meant. 

Cas nodded, looking exceptionally pleased with himself. There was a satisfied gleam in his eyes and the barest of smirks upon his lips. “Yes.”

Yup, definite gloating. He wasn’t about to begrudge Castiel a spot of that. Dean also leaned against the table. “Huh. You got her knees apart? Because I thought they were superglued together.”

“Superglued?” He chuckled at that. “No, no superglue. I didn’t have any trouble getting her knees apart.”

“Hey, more power to you, buddy.” Dean crossed his arms. “I thought Jo had that whole abstinence thing going on.” She’d been adamant the last time they’d met that she wasn’t one for a quick roll between the sheets. She wanted more than that. Or she had back then.

“She did. Until last night.”

“What happened to change her mind?”

“The power of my awesomeness overwhelmed her.”

Dean started laughing at that.

“Why are you laughing?” Castiel arched a brow. “Am I not awesome?”

“Sure. You’re king of awesome. Now what really happened?”

With a quick grin, he was shrugging. “Honestly, I’m not sure why she said yes, but…we’re going to pursue it.”

“Yeah? What’s Jimmy have to say about it?” He knew Jimmy likely had an opinion formed about Jo.

Cas snorted, glancing behind him into the kitchen. “A lot. As usual. He likes her and completely approves of shtupping her and more, whatever that means.”

Dean knew Castiel knew exactly what the slang term meant. He’d told Cas himself the meaning of the word. “Hey…can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Isn’t it sort of, I don’t know,” he shrugged, “ _creepy_ , to have him awake when you’re going at it with some chick?”

Cas turned his gaze to the floor and shook his head, sighing. “You’re going to keep asking until I tell you, aren’t you?”

“Would I do that?” Dean had asked him that before and not once had Castiel actually answered him about it. The situation with Castiel and Jimmy was a source of great curiosity to him and while he knew a lot about it, there were some parts of it he didn’t quite understand, like how Jimmy could stand being unable to do anything.

“Cheerfully.” He looked back up. “I don’t think creepy is the right word. More like different. A lot of conversation when he’s awake like, ‘touch her there’, ‘do such and such’, and ‘aww, come on, it’s not like I can do it myself, you’re such a selfish bastard’. That sort of thing.” His brows raised and something in his overly innocent stare clued Dean in.

Cas was joking. 

Dean scowled. Some days he regretted all that painstaking time he’d taken teaching Cas how to joke around. Castiel’s jokes tended to be hit-or-miss. Either you got his jokes or you didn’t. He’d also ceased to explain them all the time, taking Bobby’s words on the subject to heart: ‘if you have to explain it to your audience, idjit, it’s not funny.’. The result was that occasionally Castiel would crack a joke, wait a beat, then laugh, shrug, and move on. “You suck, you know that?”

He snickered. “Seriously, I don’t even know he’s awake unless he says something, and usually he doesn’t announce his presence. If he’s awake then, it’s by accident. He does like Jo though. He made some remark this morning about her having Veronica Lake hair.”

“Mmm. Veronica Lake. Forties pin-up. Sexy dead chick. Hair half covering her face…. Very nice.”

“Yeah. Well, I’m breaking up with the others,” Cas announced, “and seeing Jo only. Starting today.”

Dean stared at him. Castiel was giving up his women for Jo? After only a few hours with her. Interesting. And strangely swift. “No, that wasn’t bizarrely quick, since you asked.”

“I didn’t ask.” Cas frowned, standing up straight. “Why should I waste time with the others when it’s Jo I’m interested in?”

“I know you didn’t ask. And you’ve nothing to break-up _from_. It’s all physical with them, right?” Except for Natalie, but then she and Cas could only talk about the cosmos and understand each other.

One hand raised, forefinger and thumb stroking his chin a moment. His eyes narrowed in thought. “I should be considerate of their feelings, firm yet gentle. They should understand that while I do like them all, I don’t feel the sort of connection -- ”

“It’s not them, it’s you. Geez, Cas, it’s not like you were actually dating any of them. You had a screw here and there and looked at stars with Natalie. Just tell them all you’re not interested in them anymore.”

“I plan to.”

“You just met Jo again, you know.”

Castiel turned to face the table, resting his hands on it. “I felt something, Dean, and she did too. I didn’t try to talk you out of seeing Risa even though you fought constantly when she first got here.”

Dean held up his hands. “All right, I can take a hint. I’ll butt out.” Behind them, a full box of food was set on the table and he turned, looking inside it. “Biscuits, too? Great. Thanks.” Hefting the box, he turned. “Been good talking to you, Cas, but I’ve got to get this back.”

“Sure. I’ll get started on Jo’s cabin.”

At his cabin, Dean found Risa waiting outside. She was sitting on the bench along the side, waiting with her feet tapping. When she saw him, she stood.

“So, what’s the deal with her? She’s _not_ staying here with us.”

Dean set the box of food on the steps and hooked a hand about Risa’s arm, urging her to move away from the cabin with him to a spot where he didn’t think Jo would overhear them. He could see Risa needed answers immediately, fear flickering in her eyes. She was really worried about Jo. He smothered a sigh. Sometimes he’d like to find that ex of hers and give him a good beating for what he’d done to her. “She’s an old friend from before and, just so you know, I propositioned her a couple times back then and she turned me down flat.” 

A couple times? A couple didn’t really describe with much accuracy how often he’d tried to get Jo into bed. He’d pulled every persuasive trick in the book, given every smooth and not-so-smooth or even subtle pick-up line in that attempt, to which Jo’s legs remained firmly locked together.

One time, he’d thought he might succeed.

They’d been in Oregon, just the two of them, celebrating after dispatching several demons. Ellen, Bobby, and Castiel had been at Bobby’s, Bobby and Ellen watching Cas recover from a concussion of all things. While Bobby had maintained Castiel’s skull was too thick for there to be any damage, Ellen had admitted to worrying. Cas had all the symptoms of a bad concussion: headache, dizziness, double vision, an inability to concentrate, and he hadn’t remembered what had happened. It had taken Bobby and Ellen combined, along with a set of handcuffs that were creatively etched with symbols, to keep him resting. Bobby had reasoned that that handcuffs would work because Cas wasn’t likely to zap himself away and leave his arm there. Dean and Jo had exited the house to Cas’s irritable strains of ‘I don’t require rest. Release me at once.’.

With the job over, Dean had taken Jo to dinner. A nice place, not their usual cheap truck-stop food. After that was a movie and he’d finally coaxed her back to his room. Jo had insisted on two rooms despite his rather well thought out, persuasive, and excessively reasonable argument for one room. They’d had a few drinks and when he’d leaned over and kissed her, she’d kissed back. She’d let him lay her back on his bed and take a few liberties, but only until he’d reached to open the buttons of her blouse.

She’d taken his hand in hers and repeated that word he’d gotten very used to hearing from her lips: ‘no.’.

All of the sweet talking in the world hadn’t budged her.

“I don’t do that anymore,” she’d said, all regretful sweetness.

“There was a time you did,” he asked, wondering how he’d missed it and what the hell he’d been thinking not to take advantage of it when it was there.

Her smile had faded a fraction, hand releasing his to raise and caress his cheek. “Wrong time, wrong place, remember?”

He had and still did. Jo all flirtatious and his for the taking and him not ready to take. A missed opportunity that would never ever come again. “I do.”

“I’m not that girl anymore, Dean. I haven’t been for years now. I want something more than you’re able to give me.”

A truth that had hurt at the time.

Apparently, she’d changed yet again if she was willing to give to Cas what she’d refused with such adamancy to give to him.

However, Dean couldn’t find it in him to be bitter or regretful about his relationship with Jo, merely curious as to what had caused such a shift in her moral compass.

“She turned me down pretty forcefully, Risa, as in no way I could mistake it for anything else. We parted as friends only, like we usually did.”

“Seriously?”

“She spent the night with Cas last night, okay? It’s my understanding that they’re going to continue their physical connection and he plans to give the fab four the heave-ho sometime today. Now, I need to hear her story and while I don’t care if you stay, Jo might not talk freely with a stranger around.”

Risa crossed her arms and fixed him with a cool stare. “She sleeps on the couch and two of his four are anything but fab.”

“Obviously she’s on the couch. The only woman in my bed is you. And she’s only staying until Cas has her cabin ready, which I’m guessing will likely be tomorrow.”

She pursed her lips, expression softening a tad. “I want to meet her.”

“I’d planned on it. I brought some food for her, so we’ll talk while she eats and I’m going to try to convince her to lie down for awhile. She’s so wiped she’ll probably drop after her shower and a heavy meal. Then, in a few hours, I’ll bring you in to meet her.”

Risa stepped close, hands raising to rest on his ribs beneath his jacket. “It’s been a difficult few days, what with the Colt and Lucifer…. The way you and Castiel -- and Bobby before he died -- talk about Jo and Ellen Harvelle….” She sighed. “I know she means a lot to you.”

Dean embraced her. The worry and fear were there on her face though she tried to hide it. He could always see what she tried to hide, even when no one else could. “You have nothing to worry about. You’re everything to me, Risa. You know that.”

“I can’t help the worry, but I did take care of settling her people before coming over here and didn’t dump it on Castiel. Is that or is that not progress?”

“It’s progress.” He kissed her, a brief tender caress to soothe her. “Why don’t you wait out here for me? I’ll get Jo settled in for a bit and then you can take me around to meet some of her people.” He loosed her from his arms and reached for the box. When he straightened, she’d returned to the bench and was taking a book from the pocket of her jacket. Dean watched her a moment, wishing he could reach out and take that insecurity from her, but he couldn’t.

He headed up the steps, across the porch, and into the cabin.

~~~~~~~~~

Jo’s mind seemed to turn off completely as she stood under the shower spray. She wondered who the woman was that lived with Dean and what she thought of Jo showering in her bathroom. It was obvious a woman lived here. Her toiletries and personal items were everywhere. Jo had noticed jewelry, clothes and more. Even though she wanted to think about it, she couldn’t, her mind refusing to think anymore for awhile. She was glad for the shower. The water was a heavenly warm spray and it was nice to really be alone for a few minutes.

She took her time, as Dean had suggested, and when she emerged from the bathroom dressed in clean clothes, he was back, laying out a meal for her on the table by the south window.

“It’s Bambi stew, but we take what we can get, right?”

The bowl that Dean gave her was huge, accompanied by biscuits that were warmed and fresh butter. Fresh butter, she thought, then remembered Cas’s remark about chickens. Maybe they had cows here too. There was also coffee, that both smelled and tasted every bit as good as Mya’s, liberally laced with whiskey.

He told her about the camp, basics really so she could eat. Her guess had been correct. They had a few animals at one end and a large garden that yielded a few decent seasonal crops. Most everyone had some sort of job to do, mostly to keep people going.

In turn, Jo told him about 2011, chronicled her life and that big long journey for him. She explained Ellen’s death and the horrible things they’d witnessed.

“You’ve been wandering like Moses and the Israelites, huh?”

Jo yawned, beginning to feel sleepy despite having been awake only a few hours. She felt as though she could sleep for days. “I suppose. You know, I kept thinking that it couldn’t get worse, but then it did. That earthquake in Illinois? The one that damn near made a second Grand Canyon? We were this close,” she illustrated with thumb and forefinger about an inch apart, “to being caught by it.”

“You’re here now.”

“Finally.”

“I’m gonna guess that you haven’t been sleeping well for months.”

“No, not really. When you have to keep one eye open, it’s hard to rest.” She yawned.

“You stayed at Cas’s campsite last night. Get much rest?”

Jo avoided his eyes, pretending she had some coffee left in her cup. “Not too much, no. I still had people to look after.”

“Uh-huh.”

Something in the way he made that noise of agreement made Jo think he _did_ know already that she’d been with Castiel. Under his steady regard, Jo began to feel vulnerable again. “So….” She picked at a biscuit, fingers pulling it apart. “What’s up with Cas?”

Dean stretched his legs out and crossed his ankles. “What do you mean?”

Jo raised one shoulder in what she hoped was a casual shrug. “Oh…he said something about having a couple…or four…girlfriends?”

His feet jiggled back and forth as he stared at her. Just when Jo began to feel uncomfortable beneath that stare, he blinked and smiled. “I wouldn’t call them girlfriends, not in the usual sense. I’m pretty sure the only one he’s had any real conversations with is Natalie. Cas has been going for the ‘no strings’ approach with women for awhile now.” Crossing his arms, he shrugged. “Once he lost those powers, women really started noticing him. It was freaky there for a few months. Everywhere we went, he had women hitting on him. Women like Cas. Cas likes women.”

“He’s not serious about any of them?”

“Oh hell, no. He’s been drifting along these years, sampling a good cross-section. Kind of like I used to.”

A good cross-section? And she’d been reckless enough to have sex with him without a condom? Jo pushed the shredded biscuit to one side of the plate. “Doesn’t he worry about diseases?” Subtle, Jo. Real subtle.

He leveled another long stare at her. Jo would almost swear he definitely knew she’d been with Castiel the night before. “No. Cas doesn’t get sick, not like that. He can get drunk, high…and has, but never sick. We had a flu bug here awhile back and all of us had it except him. He never has colds, flu, allergies, nothing like _that_. Don‘t ask me to figure out why. That’s just how it is.” He uttered a low laugh. “I made him get tested a few times. You should have seen me, Jo, giving him the whole STD talk about being careful and responsible and the entire time, he just stared at me real cool. You know, like he used to when he had the angel wings on? Then he looked at me like I was a complete idiot and told me I was being ridiculous because of course he’d weighed the consequences of his actions quite firmly in his mind before engaging in unrestrained sexual activity and would take all of the proper precautions to guard against infection.”

She wasn’t sure whether to laugh or not.

“Go ahead. Laugh. It’s funny. Cas had quite an attitude for months, but he’s not nearly as wild as he was. I actually got worried, wanted to stage an intervention even. Bobby kicked that idea right outta me, I tell you. He said a guy has to sow some oats sometime and Cas had a lot of years to make up for. Besides, I oughtta understand seeing as how I’d sown more than my fair share over the years.”

“That sounds like Bobby. No intervention, then?”

“Nah. Cas pulled through it. Takes pretty good care of himself now, even with the girlfriends.”

“He’s clean then,” she ventured, half holding her breath.

“Squeaky.”

“You’re positive.”

“Absolutely.”

She breathed a sigh of relief. “Good, good. That’s…good.” Jo rubbed her palms on her thighs.

“So you said.” His head dipped in a nod. “Any reason?”

“What? Oh, no.”

“That’s an awfully quick denial.”

“I’m just curious is all.”

His grin widened, eyes crinkling at the corners. “Okay, Ms. Curious. Anything else you want to know about Cas? Because I might know some even more personal things….”

“Not at present. I’m good.”

“I’m sure you are.”

The words could mean one thing, but his inflections upon them implied a less than innocent meaning. Jo opened her mouth to retort, then laughed, and shook her head. “The more things change --”

“The more I stay the same,” he finished for her with an unrepentant gleam in his eyes. “It’s good to have you with us here. Now, your people are all settled, resting themselves. Why don’t you lie down on the couch for awhile, get some shut-eye?”

Jo slid the plate away, fully abandoning the remaining food and contemplating the suggestion. Would taking a couple hours more to rest be lazy or merely a good example to her people should they ask about her? They were as stretched sleep-wise as she was. “Do I look that tired?”

“Exhausted, like you’re running on the fumes of fumes.”

“Got a blanket?” She leaned back.

Dean got up and went to the bed, drawing the blanket off the end of it. “Here.” He handed it to her. “Take as long as you want. No hurry.”

She waited until he’d gone out the door before lying down. 

~~~~~~~~~

While Dean was talking to Jo and Risa sat outside the cabin worrying needlessly, Cas oversaw the cleaning of one tiny cabin in the cluster of small buildings near his own cabin. The cabin he chose for her was big enough for a bed with a small table beside it and perhaps a trunk at the foot of the bed. There were hooks on a strip of wood on the wall from the door to the corner, then around to the end of the bed.

Castiel made a mental list of everything she’d need. Some sort of curtains for the two windows, a lamp, sheets, pillow, blanket, bedspread. A rug for the floor beside the bed. With his list made, he went back across the camp to see Chuck.

When he came through the door, Chuck had a large box sitting on the table. Cas glanced at it, then rapped on the tabletop with his knuckles. “Chuck! You here?”

He emerged from the back room, swaying just a little and clutching his head. “I’m here. Please don’t shout again, okay Cas?”

“Sure. Whatever. I need --”

“Everything’s right here for you like you wanted.” Chuck went to the box and peered inside. “Bedding, a lamp. We got in some crazy pink retro curtains she’ll love so I threw those in too. They’re like tie-dye.”

Cas looked over his shoulder, then back at Chuck. Like he wanted? “Um…Chuck?”

“You can come back for the rug and comforter. I’ve put them aside and marked them as taken.” He scratched his temple with one finger. “Oh, and there’s a cinnamon scented candle in there, too. She likes those. It reminds her of when she was little and Ellen used to keep a cinnamon candle burning in their kitchen. It’s a comfort thing. She needs that right now.”

“I haven’t been in here yet today.”

“Uh-huh.” Chuck waited for him to continue. “And?”

“How did you know I needed these things?”

“Oh. Well…Dean said you were bringing Jo…”

Castiel raised his brows, staring at Chuck as he spoke, waiting patiently until Chuck began to stammer.

“You’d be getting a cabin ready for her and…well, of course she’d need…um…I…you see, Cas….”

“How,” he asked in a firm tone.

Chuck caved, giving the lodge a furtive sweeping glance. “Because I saw it, okay?”

“You saw it?” He blinked. “You’re having visions again?” Why? The world was ending. There was no need for Chuck’s visions because there’d be no future generations to read about them.

“For awhile now,” he admitted, hanging his head as though ashamed by it. “They started back up when Risa showed up and at first I thought I was really having dreams, but then the headaches came back and I was compelled to write it all down. Everything started coming true. I’ve gone through so many packs of college ruled paper it’s not even funny.”

The implications of that floored him. “Current events?”

“It was Risa and Dean to begin with, but it wasn’t enough. I had to record everything from my last stopping point….” He glanced away. “You know. _Sam_.”

Chuck’s visions had finally stopped when Sam had said yes to Lucifer. At the time, Castiel had assumed that was because there wasn’t much future to record. “How did you know about Jo?”

“I told you. I saw it. I saw it all. Ellen’s death, Jo’s promise to her, these past months for her. It’s all a part of my visions. And, uh, I saw the two of you. Together.” He licked his lips. “Last night.”

Together? Oh. “Tell me I wasn’t full frontal.” He didn’t really want to know the answer.

Chuck winced and said in an apologetic tone, “I’m afraid so, Cas.”

“Okay,” he said with more than a little unease. Now he knew how Dean had felt years earlier. “I’ll just take the box and get Jo’s cabin ready for her.”

“Yeah. If it makes you feel better, it makes me uncomfortable, too.”

It didn’t, but it was nice to know.

There were huge implications to Chuck’s returned visions that gave Castiel a hope for some sort of future for humanity. It meant there’d be people around to read about them. Thinking along those lines led to further wonderings. Chuck was a prophet, with prophetic powers granted by heaven, so what was going on in heaven?

He glanced skyward. This news fueled his speculation. He knew he’d never return there, he’d gone too far from what he’d been to return, but if Chuck was seeing him, then he’d some role to play. Him and Jo both. Cas ruminated upon Chuck’s admission. He’d seen Jo’s life from Ellen’s death to present. Jo, then, had to be important in some way. Chuck only chronicled the important things, even if those things didn’t seem important at the time.

He was up on a ladder, still thinking about that, when a voice intruded.

“Pink curtains?” Natalie stood in the doorway, observing his efforts to hang a curtain rod over the south window. “Man, those are wild.” 

“Hi.”

“Hi back.” She leaned against the doorframe. “What’s her name?”

“Jo.” He reached for the curtains. Chuck and Natalie were right. They were wild, a swirl of pink, orange, purple, and yellow. “Joanna Beth Harvelle.”

“She’s the one at Dean’s right now?”

“Yes.” He set the rod in place and climbed down from the ladder. “Doesn’t look too bad, does it?” The folds of the curtains adjusted easily along the rod.

“Looks good. Is she _the_ Jo? The one from before that you and Dean sometimes reminisce about?”

“Yes, she is.” He put the tools he’d been using back in the case and snapped it shut. While hammered, he and Dean had been known to discuss past events and people they’d both known. “She certainly is.”

Natalie came forward and picked up the pillow on the bed, squeezing it in her hands, then setting it back down. “You’re giving up one of your pillows?”

Jo had liked the pillows and if having one would make her comfortable, he’d gladly give one up. “She likes them. I can take them or leave them. I don’t mind giving her one. Or two if she wants two.”

With a slow nod, Natalie turned to face him. She slid her hands into her pockets and tilted her head a little to one side. “Go ahead.”

“Go ahead and what?”

“Say it. It’s okay, really. It’s all over your face when you say her name, Cas.”

She didn’t look upset or even hurt. “It is?”

“Definitely. You’ve fallen hard and fast, poor baby.”

He sat on the end of the unmade bed and looked up at her. “I can’t see you anymore, Natalie. I told Jo on the way here that I’d commit to her and only her.”

Her gaze dropped to the floor. When she looked back up, she gave him a sad smile. “There. That wasn’t so hard, was it? You know, I never thought I’d see this day.”

“Thank you, Nat.” He wasn’t sure whether to feel insulted or not.

“No, I mean you committing to one person with such certainty, like Dean did to Risa. You know what you want now and it’s her, end of story. I can see it without even having to look for it.”

He thought about it a minute. She was right. He’d made up his mind. He wanted Jo. “You’re not hurt?”

“I’m a little sad, but I plan on liking her and being happy for you. Besides, you and I were friends more than anything else anyway.” She gestured at the room in general. “Need any help?”

“No, I just have to make up the bed and it’ll be ready.”

He’d worked quickly to get it ready for Jo, wanting her to have a place all her own, since she’d never had one before. The cobwebs were gone, the windows washed, the curtains hung, and the rug laid out. He’d placed the table by the bed, with the lamp and candle on it, and once the bed was made, she could move in.

But there was still one thing he needed to finish today, something he’d promised Jo he’d do by dinner. “You know where I can find Carrie, Kylie, and Vanessa?”

“Carrie is on perimeter duty, and I’m not sure where the other two are.” She stepped towards the door in slow strides before looking back over her shoulder at him. “You do know that Van’s gonna cry, right? And try anything to make you stay with her?”

Vanessa was a tad clingy, but up until now it hadn’t been a problem. “I’ll break it to her gently.”

Natalie laughed. “No, go with the Band-Aid approach: fast and firm. Tell her and stick to your guns.”

__

She’s right, Jimmy spoke up. _Vanessa doesn’t need gentle on this, Castiel. She needs a quick break-up because she’s the type to use crying as blackmail if you show any sort of weakness. I did tell you that months ago, if you remember, but no, you just had to start seeing her._

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

~~~~~~~~~~

The sole reason Chuck hadn’t told Dean about his visions was that he didn’t want to give false hope. He didn’t know why they’d returned, but at this point, he didn’t really care.

Chuck wrote in secret -- at night and whenever he happened to be alone, getting back into the habit of carrying a notebook around with him wherever he went. He chronicled the time since Sam’s fall, which, of course, included Dean and Risa. When he’d first written those scenes of them in love, he’d thought for sure it was his overactive imagination. Dean and Risa? Come on. Yet, to his amazement, each scene had unfolded before his eyes. He’d never expected to ever see Dean fall in love, especially at the end of the world.

He wrote in detail for some parts, like the preparations for the camp and the political world events. In others he was able to gloss over weeks at a time. There had to be a solid basis in world events so future readers, if there were any, could place exactly when things took place.

But then, he’d had to go back and add in Jo Harvelle. He’d written of Ellen’s death and that promise Jo had made that ultimately finished skewing her ability to be intimate with a man. Chuck knew everything Jo knew about her reasons for behaving as she did and, unencumbered by her memories and feelings, he could see things she didn’t.

She hated being in charge of others. She hated needing to be in charge at all hours of day and night. It had changed her and not in a fully good way, instilling in her a strong, almost pathological need for control in certain areas of her life. She had to convince herself she was being coerced into sex just to begin to enjoy herself. Jo had to feel that the man she was with was taking full control over what was happening away from her. It wasn’t a want, it was a genuine _need_.

Like last night. She’d wanted to have sex with Castiel, but rather than come right out and say it, then just do it, she’d asked him to playact a coercion scenario so that she could let herself relax. She’d needed that scenario.

It made his head hurt just thinking about that one and how she’d ended up that way.

Even before Ellen’s death, she’d been sliding towards that sort of behavior, preferring to be chased by the men she was interested in. It was part of why she and Dean hadn’t clicked there in the Roadhouse. She’d wanted him to chase her and Dean hadn’t been in any shape to do that. By the time Dean had finally been ready to chase her, Jo had changed. She’d only wanted to be chased by someone serious about the chase.

Chuck sighed.

It had been bad enough seeing Risa and Dean, but now he had to see Jo and Castiel, too? This prophet stuff was a pain sometimes. He despised having to witness private moments. It embarrassed him beyond mortification. Private moments were supposed to be private, not…written out for all the world to read.

From experience, he knew he had to simply grit his teeth and endure it all, doing a job he’d never wanted and thought had ended.

~~~~~~~~~

While he waited for Jo to freshen up after her nearly three hour nap, Dean recalled the day he’d proposed to Risa. They’d been on a blanket on the dock at the lake, taking a break and lying side by side watching the clouds in the sky. He’d raised up on one elbow to look down at her. Risa amazed him. She was a constant mystery, ever-changing. He never knew who she was any given day. The prospect of spending the rest of his life with her, however long or short that was, didn’t fill him with panic. All it did was make him think he’d never have enough time to know all of her.

If what he felt was love, then he was hooked. Sign him up for the long haul, baby. He wouldn’t have time to think of another woman because it’d take lifetimes to figure Risa out. He wanted to be with her.

He remembered telling her all of that, his heart beating fast in his chest as he asked her to marry him and make it official. Then in the same breath, he’d asked if she’d be okay with trying for a baby as well. It was a stupid, reckless idea, bringing a child into a world that was on a one track ride to destruction, yet Dean was almost desperate for just that. He wanted to cram a lifetime of experiences with her into whatever time was left and know that, at least for awhile, they’d created a new life between them.

She’d agreed to both, yet thus far, they’d had no success on the latter. No one had. For the past year, there’d been no pregnancies or live births, as though heaven had run out of souls. Still, they tried and had an awful lot of fun together in the process.

Jo stepped from the bathroom and moved to the couch, sitting back down. Her gaze flicked to the doorway, where Risa waited. “You wanted me to meet someone?”

“Yeah, I did.” Dean was strangely nervous to introduce Risa to Jo. He put his arm around Risa and led her across the cabin to Jo, then cleared his throat, swallowing past his nervousness. “Jo, I’d like you to meet Risa.” He slid his hand along Risa’s waist in a warm caress. “My wife.”

Jo looked from him to Risa, a slow smile forming, a twinkle of delight in her eyes. “Dean, that’s great. How long?”

“About four months,” Risa answered in a slightly combative tone. It’d take awhile for her to warm up to Jo. Once she realized Jo was interested in Castiel only, she’d perk right up. He knew it. Risa had been engaged to a guy once who’d cheated on her every chance he’d gotten, so it was understandable that she remained wary of any women Dean was friendly with, afraid of being hurt again.

“Congratulations. I’m happy for you.”

Risa moved to the couch, joining Jo, sitting on the very edge of the cushion. “Dean tells me you’re old friends.”

“Like family.” Her tone was neutral. Dean could see her reading Risa’s manner, see a click of understanding and then Jo was smiling wider, turning her attention solely on Risa. “Tell me about your wedding. What was it like?”

“Uh….well…” Risa glanced up at Dean, then back to Jo. “It was on the dock where he proposed.”

He waited, tuning out the conversation as Risa began to warm to Jo, telling her about their wedding. When it began to wind down, he crossed his arms. “Ready for a tour of the camp, Jo?”

“Are you kidding?” She stood. “I’m dying to see this place.”

“Good. Cas is meeting us outside the dining hall in five minutes, so let’s get moving.”

Dean took Risa’s hand in his and the three of them headed across the camp. 


	5. Chapter 5

They were called one by one to give their testimonies, all of the angels waiting in a line.

Gabriel had gone first, showing no fear or even anxiety, the sort of example Michael knew that he himself should be. Still, he couldn’t help pacing as the line slowly moved forward, casting glances towards the veil covering their view of the earth. The longer it remained in place, the higher Michael’s anxiety.

They weren’t allowed to see what was happening or hear anything.

Without being able to see, how would he know if Dean Winchester needed him? Or rather, how would he know if Dean wanted to accept him? He was blind and deaf to the events on earth. Up to the point they’d been called home, he’d been listening for that call and with Sam Winchester having accepted Lucifer, there was only one way now to stop him or finish the Apocalypse. Dean would have to accept him for either. Did Dean realize it yet? Perhaps it could have been different once…. He blinked. Don’t think on what might have been, he told himself. 

Michael found himself actually worrying about it, imagining that Dean must be feeling very helpless at this point, being unable to stop Lucifer’s takeover of the planet. Had he accepted that fact? Or was he already dead?

They weren’t allowed to look through heaven either, essentially on house arrest.

It wasn’t that he cared about humans particularly, only that he’d made a promise and was currently unable to fulfill it or even his duty in the Apocalypse, no matter how it had started. Even if Dean called, Michael was unable to answer and that bothered him. Dean already didn’t trust angels and if he called and Michael didn’t answer, that distrust would deepen and then where would the world be? Lucifer would continue to run amok.

He sighed and watched Zachariah slip back in line further and further until he was near the end. Interesting. Why was Zachariah bothering? He’d reach the throne eventually anyway. Wasn’t it better to face his actions than attempt to put it off?

“Now there’s someone who won’t win employee of the millennia.” Gabriel appeared beside him, arms crossed, _still_ in that meatsuit. “He knows he’s committed a hanging offense.” 

“Does he?” Could Gabriel actually have a fondness for that human body? Curiosity pricked at Michael. He wanted answers for something and soon. 

“Oh yeah. Zach’s got a one-way ticket to the Lake of Fire, just like half our brethren.”

“Half? Isn’t that being pessimistic?” At Gabriel’s shrug, he continued. “Perhaps one-third maybe, but not half I don’t believe. What about you, Gabriel? Where are _you_ going? Are you bound for fire or a new assignment?”

He arched a brow. “I’m going wherever I’m told at present and right now, I’m going to sit over there in that comfortable chair,” with a snap of his fingers, one appeared, “and watch the show.”

“How can you be so calm? We will be disciplined.”

“I’m calm because I’m forgiven. I asked, He gave, and all I have to do now is accept the consequences of my actions.”

“You ran away,” Michael reminded him.

He sat in that chair, a large glass with a tiny umbrella and slices of fruit dangling over the rim materializing in his hand. “I returned when He called me. I didn’t have to be dragged like some.”

“You refused to take a side.”

“Is that what you think?” Gabriel snorted, took a sip of his drink, and shook his head. “Look at me, Mike. Look very closely at what you see. Do you really think I didn’t take any side at all?”

Michael stared at his brother and thought about that statement. Gabriel had not sided with the angels, nor had he sided with Lucifer. What other side was there? “Of the two sides, you chose neither. You ran away rather than choose.”

“You’re still not seeing it. I chose door number three!” A door with the number three on it briefly appeared in the air before them.

He couldn’t fathom what Gabriel meant by that. “Door number three,” he repeated.

Now Gabriel rolled his eyes. “I’d forgotten how humorless it can be up here. How you can be that dim actually surprises me. The humans, Mike. I chose the humans and I tell you, they’re a lot easier to live with than you lot up here. Sure, they may bicker and squabble, but they make up for that in so many ways, some rather delicious.”

“The humans.” He went back to watching the line and Zachariah’s quick-step towards the back of it, his sigh long and drawn out. “I don’t understand you, Gabriel.”

It was a refrain Michael would utter many times as they waited there together.

“Don’t feel too bad about that, Mike. Not many do.” He conjured up another glass. “Here. Try this while we wait.”

“I don’t require refreshment.”

“Humor me.” He held out the glass.

After a moment, Michael took it, studying the fruit and the slushy contents. “I’ve always humored you, Gabriel.” He took a sip. “It’s…sweet and tart at the same time.”

“It’s good is what it is. Relax awhile. Take a load off. We’ve got some time yet before you’ll be called in. Would you like to hear about a feisty vixen I knew once?”

Michael sighed. “If I must.”

Gabriel started talking, a long convoluted story primarily featuring a human woman, and Michael let himself relax the barest of fractions. Gabriel was right. It would be awhile and until then, he could let all of his growing tension and worry slip away.

~~~~~~~~~~

It seemed that as soon as Jo laid down on Dean’s comfortable couch, she was asleep. If she dreamed during the hours she slept, she didn’t remember any of it, waking in the same position she’d fallen asleep in. She felt better rested and even contemplated letting herself slip back to sleep once more. Curiosity about the camp gripped her though and she turned her head on the pillow.

Dean was across the room watching the tv, sitting in a blue fold-up reclining chair that had a footrest and looked like a recliner. Jo smiled as she looked over his set-up. While she’d noticed it earlier, she hadn’t really studied it. Dean _would_ lift a state of the art enormous screen tv to have here.

“What are you watching,” she asked, getting up and going over to him. The tv took up one section of the wall.

He paused the program. “Dead Like Me.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s a cult series about this chick who dies in a freak accident and become a Reaper.”

“A Reaper?”

He looked up at her. “A Grim Reaper. Sending souls on --”

“I know what one is, Dean.”

“Oh. Well, the series is kind of quirky, though none of them are really anything like Tessa.” He said the name with an almost fond inflection.

Tessa? Jo ran a hand through her hair. “Who is Tessa?”

Returning his gaze to the tv, he stopped the DVD altogether and shut down the entire system. “Tessa was a Reaper -- still is as far as I know. I met her a few times.”

“Aren’t Reapers supposed to be invisible to people who aren’t --”

“Dying? Yeah. I’ve been dead several times, Jo. You know that. Tessa was just doing her job.”

She’d wondered if Reapers were real. Plenty of other things she’d read about were, so why not them too? Now that Dean had confirmed it, she wondered…. “Do you think there was one there for my mom?”

He sat up in the chair, setting the remotes aside. “Sure. Might even have been Tessa. She got around.” He got up and folded the chair up, putting it on the corner beside a red one. “Before we head off in a tour, there’s someone I want you to meet. Would you be cool with that?”

Jo saw apprehension in his eyes, as though he wasn’t sure how she’d react to the person he wished to introduce. Had to be the woman who lived here with him. “Sure.” She jerked a thumb to the bathroom. “Okay if I freshen up first?”

“Go right ahead.”

When she came from the bathroom and returned to the couch, she noticed a woman waiting just inside the door to the outside. It was the woman Dean had called Risa earlier when he’d been talking to Castiel. She was tall, slim, with dark hair and an exotic air.

Jo expected to hear that she was Dean’s live-in girlfriend. The word ‘wife’ threw her for a moment.

Dean Winchester was married. _Dean_ of all people.

But the more Jo thought about it, the more it fit. Why not Dean? He’d always had a thing for family, as long as she’d known him. It made sense that, eventually, he’d want to marry and have a family.

She congratulated them and concentrated on getting Risa talking. Once Jo would have had a difficult time with that, but she’d learned a lot on the road with Ellen. She’d do anything she could to put Risa at ease because Dean wanted them to like each other. Because Jo loved Dean, she’d try to make that happen. It wasn’t a romantic love, though she’d thought once it could develop into that. Rather, it was the love one has for a friend. Dean had a special place in her heart and always would.

Risa’s face seemed to glow as she talked, her happiness with Dean apparent, and when Jo glanced up at Dean, she saw that same happiness reflected there on his face. It pleased her to see him happy. He deserved to have something right in his life for once after all the crap he’d had to go through over the years.

At Dean’s comment that Castiel would be meeting them, Jo was ready to go, excited at the prospect of seeing him again.

~~~~~~~~~~

Kylie Carrington didn’t really care if Cas saw her again or not. He was great and all, but he was just a fun time for her, not something permanent. Nor did she care if he saw Natalie or Carrie. Those two didn’t have the power to keep him anyway. What she cared about was that her friend Vanessa was going to be supplanted by some blond slut he’d just met. Vanessa deserved to have him all to herself. It was just a fact. Van was, like, _perfect_ for him.

She studied Jo Harvelle with a critical eye and tucked her hair behind her ears. In her opinion, Jo didn’t have what it took to hook Castiel. Besides, she looked like she was almost _thirty_. Thirty was the kiss of death. “You have nothing to worry about,” she told Vanessa, who was still crying after Castiel had talked with her an hour earlier.

Kylie had eavesdropped on the talk and actually been shocked at how he’d just come out and told Vanessa. He hadn’t sugar-coated it or anything, just said he didn’t want to see her anymore and that was that. There’d been no explanation or anything, not even a generic ‘let’s be friends’. For a nice guy, Castiel certainly hadn’t been nice. He _knew_ Vanessa was sensitive. He _knew_ she needed soft words and a gentle attitude. So why had he done it with the bulldozer approach?

It was that Jo woman. She’d, like, bewitched him or something.

Vanessa wiped her eyes. They were bloodshot and when she spoke, it was with a nasally tone. “Really? You think so?”

“Nothing to worry about?” Natalie crossed her arms and snorted. “Are you hearing this, Carrie? She thinks he’s going to have a change of heart.”

The look the two women exchanged infuriated her, like they _knew_ with absolute certainty that he’d never change his mind. He could though. He was a guy and guys did things like that all the time. “Who asked you anyway,” Kylie snapped. “This Jo person…. She’s the flavor of the month. That’s all. When he tires of her, and he will because he always does, he’ll come back to Vanessa.”

Carrie took her headband from her pale blond hair and slid it back on, adjusting her ponytail. “Did it occur to either of you that maybe it’s us he’s tired of?”

Vanessa gasped. “How can you say that? We’ve all been very good to him. In more ways than one. I mean, I was a virgin.”

Natalie snorted. “In thought maybe.”

“I _was_ ,” Vanessa insisted. “Nicky Bickerstaff when I was seventeen doesn’t count. He was a _boy_ compared to Cas. I was so still a virgin when Nicky was done.”

Carrie snickered. “Right. It doesn’t count when you’re seventeen and stupidly let your prom date in your pants then regret it later.”

“Exactly. I couldn’t let Nicky count, so I decided I was a virgin again and it never happened.” She crossed her arms.

Now Carrie rolled her eyes. 

Even Kylie had to admit Vanessa’s reasoning on that one was worthy of a good eye roll. Sex was sex and when it happened it couldn’t simply be covered over and forgotten. 

Carrie cleared her throat. “Repeat after me: he’s tired of us.”

“You’re not funny,” Kylie told her.

“Ugh. I wasn’t trying to be. I met Jo a little bit ago on the path and you know what? She’s nice. She’s a friend of Dean’s from way back and I guess Cas knows her from then, too. So it’s not like she’s some stranger to him. There’s a history and I think it’s great that they’re hooking up and that he thinks he can be happy with her.” Carrie shook her head and turned. “I’ll catch you later, Nat. Tearing down others doesn’t really appeal to me.” She strode off towards the shooting range.

Kylie returned her attention to Jo. Grudgingly, she had to admit that Jo appeared to be more confident in her own skin than Vanessa and was at ease with Cas, Dean, and Risa all at the same time, but did that really matter? Did it matter that Cas was looking at Jo in a way he’d never looked at Van? Or any of them? He watched Jo Harvelle like she was the only woman in the entire world.

With a sinking feeling, she realized that, yes, it did matter.

Castiel had turned over a new leaf.

A monogamous one. 

And she didn’t think Vanessa could compete with Jo after all.

~~~~~~~~~~

The memories of their night together remained with Jo all afternoon, replaying over and over in her mind in a tumultuous swirl. He stayed close during that tour of the camp, the ‘accidental’ brush of his body against hers sending shivers of weakness through her body. Jo was certain her knees were going to collapse and she’d fall against him, melting into a puddle of quivering need. His eyes spoke volumes without him saying a single word. All it took to make her blush was a single long heated glance.

He still wanted her as much as she wanted him, the only thing holding them in check were Dean and Risa. Their presence kept Jo and Castiel from jumping each other. It had to be obvious. No, more than obvious. Castiel couldn’t keep his hands to himself, primarily keeping a hand on her rear when he stood behind her. He also kept touching her back and sides and taking one of her hands in his as they walked. He behaved the way she noticed Dean and Risa behaving ahead of them on the path. A few times, Castiel leaned down and kissed that spot behind her ear.

It almost seemed like he was laying public claim upon her, getting the message across right away that she was out of bounds.

“Here.” He stopped in front of one cute little cabin, his fingers hooking through one of her belt loops and making Jo stop as well.

“Here what?”

Dean and Risa turned, surprise on Dean’s face. “That was fast,” he remarked.

“There wasn’t much to do,” Castiel answered, stretching out a hand and opening the door. “Your cabin, Jo. All spiffed up and ready for you to move in.”

She looked from him to Dean and Risa, then back to him. “Mine? Are you serious?”

Risa nodded. “Looks like you don’t have to spend the night with us after all.” There was the tiniest bit of relief in her dark eyes.

Jo went up the three wooden steps and inside. Only Castiel followed her, the door shutting behind them. The cabin was a single room, about the size of her bedroom growing up, furnished and ready. She noted the rug on the floor that matched the curtains in bright colors and the dark purple bedspread, and smiled, turning all the way around to take it all in. “Those curtains are great!”

“You like it?” He crossed his arms, a pleased grin stretching his lips, delight in his eyes.

“Are you kidding? Cas, I love it!” Moving forward, she went to the table and picked up the candle, sniffing it. Cinnamon. The scent brought back good, pleasant memories of her childhood and Jo took a final sniff before setting it back down and facing him. “Did you do all of this for me?”

“Yes.”

“How did you know what I’d like, because I can’t see Dean knowing my favorite colors or what kind of scented candles I like.”

“Does it matter?”

Did it? The end result pleased her. Was it relevant how he’d discovered the information? Maybe he’d coaxed information from Mya. She shrugged. “I guess not.”

“Good.”

He came to her, hands grasping her hips, drawing her close. His mouth came down on hers, forceful and insistent. Jo raised her hands to push at his chest and pretend to be protesting, but her efforts lasted merely seconds as heat of desire flooded her body. He caught her wrists in his hands. She pressed her body against his, turning her wrists in his light grip until it loosened further and she could put her arms about his neck. The kiss deepened, Cas sliding his hands around to her rear, holding her to him.

She wanted to forget the rest of the tour, shut out Dean and Risa, and see if her new bed was comfortable.

Castiel pulled back and, with a glance behind her out the window, swung her around so that she was against the wall. One hand did a tour of her curves, his gaze on hers, a heated caress that warmed her as much as his wandering hand did. There were promises in his blue eyes that she wanted to collect very soon.

She ran her fingertips up and down the back of his neck, sliding them up into his hair. “How dare you accost me like this, with Dean and Risa right outside.”

“Do you really think their presence would keep you safe from me?” That hand slid to her breasts, his touch just firm enough to feel and she shivered. “We had a deal. I simply wanted to remind you of that fact.” He slipped his hand further up, to her neck, thumb then sweeping across her cheek.

“How could I forget it?”

“It’s not so much thinking you’ll forget, but that you’ll try to _avoid_ fulfilling it.” His brows rose.

“I’ll uphold my end.” She did her own tour of his chest and sides, hands ending against his lower back, pressing to get him to step closer. He obliged her.

“Don’t get so caught up in settling into camp routine that you forget our…date tomorrow night. I’d hate to have to chase you down over the next two to three days.” With a last brush of his lips to hers, Castiel stepped back, releasing her. “They’ll be wondering what we’re doing in here.” If she’d any doubt as to how she affected him, it was there on his face. His cheekbones had an added bit of color to them and there were a few drops of sweat on his brow.

Jo smoothed her hair, her hands shaking a fraction, and tried to think cool, which was difficult when one quick caress had her recalling the previous night and yearning for more. “I’ll bet Dean would have a few ideas.”

“More than a few,” he agreed, taking a couple more steps away, his hands resting on his hips. “You really like the cabin?”

“I do. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He held out a hand. “We should finish the tour.”

She took it.

~~~~~~~~~~

It was entirely possible that, given time, Risa could like Jo Harvelle. She contemplated that and decided it’d be nice to have a close female friend again. Once, she’d had several, friendships that had been formed in college and in the workplace. None of her friends had survived the virus and Risa, determined to survive, hadn’t been the sort of woman other women wanted to befriend. She had no patience for fools and knew many of the women in the camp disliked her for various reasons.

Some hated that she was Dean’s wife. Others hated that she was proficient with weapons. And still others just hated her because she had little patience for the stupid games women played with each other. There were probably other reasons, but she didn’t particularly care what they were.

Sometimes, Risa wanted a friend who’d understand about her life and about her husband. Maybe Jo could be that friend. She’d lived the life, grown up in it from what Risa could glean of Dean and Castiel’s stories of her and her mother. Plus, Jo knew Dean.

Risa leaned against Dean while they waited for Castiel and Jo to finish in the cabin, sliding a hand up beneath his jacket and t-shirt to rub the muscles on his lower back the way he liked. “He sure worked fast,” she remarked. “I thought it’d take more than a couple hours to get one of these ready.” She wasn’t just referring to the cabin with the comment on working fast. She’d seen him swoop in on a girl before, but never with the focus he put on Jo. Every time she’d looked over at him, she’d seen ample evidence that he’d already fallen for Jo.

“When Cas wants something, he works to get it.”

“And he wants her.” There was evidence also that Jo wanted him. Facing Dean, Risa added her other hand to the first, really digging in to the tense muscles.

“Yup.” He put his arms around her. “Mmm. Baby, you _know_ what I like. A little higher….” Dean sighed. “Right there.”

“Since we’re going to be alone tonight after all, I’ll do a better job then and maybe we can pull out that little outfit you picked up for me?”

“French maid or naughty nurse?”

“You’ve had a long, tough week. You pick.”

He made a noise of approval. “You’re a good wife. Have I mentioned that today?” 

“I could hear it again.” Glancing at the window, she saw Castiel step to Jo and pull her to him, leaning down to kiss her. It almost looked like Jo protested, but then she was embracing him in return. Risa jerked her chin towards the window. “Hey, look. Cas and Jo, sittin’ in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g….”

Dean turned his head and chuckled. “Go, Cas.” He loosed her from his embrace. “Bet they’ll be doing a helluva lot more than kissing later.”

“Do you think they’d mind if we ditched them and spent the evening alone? Eat in our cabin, play around a little….”

“I think you read my mind.” As Castiel and Jo stepped from the cabin, Dean called out, “Hey, Cas. You mind finishing up the tour? Something came up and we need to go take care of it.”

Within an hour, they were oblivious to the rest of the camp, their door firmly closed to shut it all out.

~~~~~~~~~~

With Dean and Risa hurrying off together, probably to their cabin if he was reading their expressions right, it was up to Castiel to finish the tour they’d started. “Three guesses what came up and the first two don’t count.”

“They seem happy together,” Jo replied.

“They are. I don’t think Dean’s ever been as happy as he is with her. She just _gets_ him.”

“That’s good, since she’s his wife.”

“It is.” He took her hand in his, twining their fingers together. Her hand felt right and perfect in his. “Shall we finish the tour?”

“Is there much left to see?”

“There’s a little.” He was of half a mind to take her out to one of his favorite solitary spots in the woods, but not, he decided, with Kylie and Vanessa following them. He noticed the two young women as he and Jo started back down the path. It would be embarrassing for all of them if Ky and Van stumbled upon he and Jo in a compromising position out in the woods.

Jimmy, Natalie, and Carrie had all been correct. Vanessa was devastated, or at least pretended she was, her flood of instant tears as he’d spoken with her making him extremely uncomfortable. She’d begged, pleaded, and made such a scene in that cabin she shared with Kylie, that he’d suddenly remembered how young she really was. She was barely in her twenties, hardly more than a teenager. What had he been thinking when he’d started seeing her?

__

It’s not what you were thinking, but what you were thinking with, Jimmy piped up.

He ignored both Jimmy and the two young women behind them, pleased with what he’d accomplished thus far. He’d cleaned and readied that cabin for Jo and cleared his life of any obstacles between them. Not bad for approximately four hours total.

Jo glanced behind them. “We’re being followed.”

“Kylie and Vanessa. I think they’re curious about you.”

“I think if looks could kill we’d both be dead,” she observed with a raised brow.

“We would, yes. Vanessa was upset when I spoke with her and Kylie is upset because Van is.”

“Introduce me?”

Castiel laughed and shook his head. “Uh…not today. It wouldn’t be a good idea.”

She smiled. “I was kidding. So, what’s left on this tour? Your cabin perhaps? I haven’t seen that yet.”

“Then we’re going the wrong way. My cabin is about a stone’s throw from yours. It’s the big one off to one side back in the clearing.”

“Convenient.”

“Very and no, you’re not seeing my cabin just yet. Two or three days of chasing, or until we can’t stand it anymore, and then you’ll see it. I promise.” He loosed her hand in order to put his arm around her. Jo reciprocated, slipping her arm about his waist.

He showed her the shed where Dean kept the Impala. It was under lock and key, kept covered by a tarp in hopes that someday, somehow, Dean would be able to drive it again. Seeing the car carefully sheltered always felt to Cas like a visit to a holy place. That car had been so much to Dean and he’d lovingly put it away when it was apparent he needed something bigger with hauling capability.

“What does he drive now,” Jo asked, frowning.

“A suburban.”

“It seems…wrong somehow for him to drive anything but the Impala.”

“Sign of the times we live in, Jo. I never thought I’d be driving at all and look at me now. I once found the very idea ridiculous.”

She tugged him away so their backs were to the shed. “Just because that’s how it is, doesn’t mean it’s right.”

The rest of the tour was completed with little conversation.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jo ate dinner with Rick and Mya, the only two who’d ventured out of the cabins. The rest were either resting or wary of the people in the camp. Rick had already made a fast friend with someone named Yeager and Mya couldn’t rave enough about the camp.

“It’s like paradise after what we’ve been through. Running water, hot food, beds with sheets and pillows….”

“The Promised Land,” Jo said with a smile and stirred her pasta. Dean hadn’t been kidding about the deer meat. The sauce had chunks of venison.

“Feels like. I’d almost forgotten what a real shower is like.” Mya peered around the room. 

It was only half full. Dean and Risa were having dinner together in their cabin and Cas had gone to make the rounds of Jo’s people and see if any could be coaxed into socializing. He’d argued that if he could tell them she was out and about, they might be inclined to come out just to see how she was. Once they saw she was fine, they’d come out. Jo had her doubts. She knew she was going to have to visit each one tomorrow.

“Dean and Risa came around to meet us earlier.” Rick added butter to a slice of still warm bread.

“I got a good vibe off of both of them,” Mya added.

“Yeah? How about Castiel? You get a good vibe off of him?” Jo expected an immediate resounding ‘yes’. After all, Cas had been an angel and one of the good guys. What could Mya get besides a good vibe?

A shadow seemed to cross her pretty face. “You want the truth, because I know he’s a friend of yours.”

“Of course.”

She glanced at Rick. “I can’t read him at all. He feels too old to me and weird, like he’s both old and young at the same time, but not all the time. Not saying he doesn’t have a good vibe, I just can’t get past the _sensation_.”

Jo put down her fork and waited. “What sensation?”

“It’s almost like a hum of power -- you know, like what a fridge makes? Only it’s barely there, a buzzing against my skin. It’s…weird. I’ve never felt anything like it.” She shook her head. “I can’t really explain it.”

Did Castiel have any of his powers? She decided to ask Dean or Cas later. If he had a little, it’d explain Mya’s feeling. 

They ate slowly and watched the dining hall fill up around them. Occasionally, people would stop and introduce themselves.

Castiel had indeed done what he’d promised and told the four women he’d been seeing that he didn’t want to see them anymore. She knew he had because it really had been all over the camp by dinnertime. Jo had caught more than a few curious stares directed her way and overheard some of the speculation. It amused her to hear the ideas that people came up with. Jo heard one person say that she was Castiel’s long-lost love, inventing an entire history while Jo sipped at a cup of after-dinner coffee.

She finished her coffee and headed for her cabin. It was nice to be able to walk without fear of attack. Jo took her time, studying everything out of habit. While parts were overgrown with grass and weeds, some parts were neat, the grass mowed by an old manual lawnmower that was old enough to be an antique. She passed Castiel’s cabin, noted there weren’t any lights on and continued on to her own cabin. 

Jo got ready for bed and turned out the light. It was only eight o’clock, but she was dead tired. She slept almost fourteen hours that first night in the camp, waking only because Dean, worried that she wasn’t awake, sent Risa to check on her.

~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel played the role of pursuer that Jo had assigned him, saying those things that went with their scenario. She wanted to be chased, pursued, and persuaded to fulfill the terms of an agreement he’d never really hold her to. He was quite familiar with such games, having played them several times before. 

And so he watched her when she was near, gave her the sense that he was waiting to get her alone. When he _did_ get her alone…her reaction was all flirtation. A smile quickly masked, pleasure in her eyes that she couldn’t hide, and a breathless quality to her voice.

She’d picked up his suggestion in her cabin that she pretend to avoid him, giving him a perfect excuse to chase her like she really wanted.

~~~~~~~~~~

On sunny afternoons, Dean preferred to take his lunch outside and sit at one picnic bench by the laundry. Usually, he ate with Cas or Risa, but Risa was busy at the shooting range and had taken her sandwich with her. Castiel claimed he wasn’t hungry -- for food. Dean opened a packet of potato chips and emptied it onto his plate. He’d given up on conversation with Castiel. Cas was too busy watching Jo help Mya put sheets on a clothesline to say much.

“You know, it’s probably a good thing he wasn’t there,” Cas said, hands in his pockets.

“Who? What are you talking about?”

“Lucifer. The other day. The big, special mission that was a bust. It’s probably a good thing he wasn’t there.”

Dean sighed. “Probably.”

“We all would have gotten killed.”

“Yup.”

“One of these days, he’ll be where we’re told and we _will_ die. It’s inevitable. He’ll tire of taunting us, of taunting you, and we’ll met our rest, so…why do we go without the Colt into potential traps?”

He glanced Cas’s way. Castiel knew why. Dean had wanted to see what Lucifer had left for them this time and maybe catch a glimpse of him. Of what was left of Sam. When the Colt hadn’t been there, they’d both known it was another taunt in a long list of similar taunts. They’d found empty streets and evidence that Lucifer had been there sometime, but no trap, no glimpse of Lucifer himself -- just another demon waiting to be captured for information. Another breadcrumb on the trail Lucifer left for them.

“You know why.”

“Sure, but does Risa?”

Tension slid across Dean’s shoulders and down his spine like the caressing hand of a lover. Not this again. “No, she doesn’t.”

“She has no idea that we always go, despite not having the Colt, because Sam is Lucifer’s vessel?”

“No idea.”

“Does she even know who Sam is?”

“Give me some credit, Cas. She knows who Sam was, not who he is now.”

“Don’t you think you’d better tell her? That’s a pretty big secret to keep from your wife.”

It was the mention of the word ‘wife’ that tipped him off. “Piss off, Jimmy.” Jimmy was big on passing marriage advice to him through Castiel. When Dean had asked Cas to stand up with him during the ceremony, Jimmy had insisted on imparting his pearls of marriage wisdom, of which there were many. Sometimes, Dean even took some of that advice.

“He’s right,” Cas said, head turning to stare at him. But only briefly. He was far more interested in looking at Jo.

“Yeah? Well he can still piss off. And so can you.”

“He told Amelia everything about me even though he knew she’d think it crazy. He did it because he didn’t want any secrets between them.”

“Bully for him.”

“How do you think she’ll feel when she realizes that Jo -- a woman you haven’t seen in years -- knows the truth and knew it long before she did?”

“Jo knew because she and Ellen were there right when it happened.” Jo and Ellen had been of the very few hunters who’d managed to come out of the fight in Detroit alive. One of these days, he might even ask Jo how that had happened. How had she and Ellen walked right out without a single scratch on either of them?

“Will Risa have that information?” He made an almost purring noise when Jo bent over to take another item from the basket. Dean had to agree the sight was a nice one, her jeans just tight enough. After a minute, Castiel continued. “How did you keep Risa from storming in the other day?”

Dean smiled a little. “I talked to her about it before I did it.”

“Will wonders never cease?”

“Hey, old dogs _can_ learn new tricks. Sometimes I do take Jimmy’s advice.”

“Uh-huh.”

Mya turned and headed back into the laundry.

Castiel made another weird noise, “I’ll catch you later, Dean,” and started forward.

“Where are you going?”

“To get some sugar,” was his lecherous reply.

Dean rolled his eyes. “You’ve been hanging out with me too long.”

A chuckle drifted back to him and Cas followed Jo behind one large sheet. A second later, Dean heard her laugh. He shook his head and turned his attention to his lunch.


	6. Chapter 6

For three days, Jo pretended to avoid Castiel, while carefully keeping herself in his sight. It took skill to follow him around, not look like she was following him, yet feel like he was following her. She enjoyed how well he pursued her, liked the way he integrated their scenario into the hours. He’d seem to suddenly appear by her side, an arm going around her waist or shoulders, voice low in her ear. Or he’d lean against the nearest table, wall, or doorway and simply watch her. 

It made helping her people through their first few days in a strange place difficult. Jo was easily distracted from the tasks she assigned herself, to the point where Rick told her to just go do something that didn’t require thought at all.

What was there that required little thought? Her cabin didn’t need anything, nor did she have any decorative trinkets that needed arranging. Dean insisted that she rest a week when she tried to demand a job like everyone else.

“You just got here, Jo.” He finished with the clipboard in his hands and handed it off to a young woman at one long table. “We try to give new people about a week of downtime before finding a job they’ll be comfortable doing. You need to take some time and decompress like everyone else.”

“I’m fine,” she argued. “I like to keep busy.” 

“Really? You’re fine. Are you sure about that? You’re distracted, jittery --”

“Not because I need downtime. Believe me, Dean, that’s not why I’m distracted.”

“Oh?” Amusement hovered at his mouth, twisting his lips. “Then why are you?”

She looked away and ignored the question, still suspecting he knew very well about her and Castiel. Not that they’d been flirting, but that they’d already done the deed. “I can’t sit on my butt and do nothing. Let me do something. Anything. I’ll go stark, raving mad if I have to do nothing for a week.”

“Yeah? Then you need to take two weeks off. When was the last time you were able to do something for yourself without thinking about your people first?” He crossed his arms and stared at her with that disconcerting gaze that saw right through her. “When was the last time you spent all morning lying in bed reading a magazine or book? Or were able to do anything without having to look over your shoulder the entire time?”

“Awhile,” she admitted, slipping her hands into her back pockets and scuffing one foot on the floor.

“You think I don’t know what you’re going through right now?”

She sighed, rolling her eyes. “I’m sure you do….”

“I’ve been there, Jo. I’ve gone through the whole edgy, nervous bit. I’ve had the guilt, the not knowing what to do with yourself.” He held up two fingers in a ‘v’. “Two weeks. You take two weeks and decompress.”

She crossed her arms and pursed her lips, blowing out a long breath. “What the hell am I supposed to do for two weeks?”

“Funny you should ask….” Dean started across the lodge. 

Jo followed. 

He stopped at the bookshelves along one wall, fingers pulling several paperbacks from them. “Here,” he said, holding them out. “Do some reading.”

Glancing at the covers, she snorted and shoved them back at him. “I don’t like romances. They’re corny, stupid, and cliché.”

Putting those back, he pulled several more books from the shelves. “Try these and if you don’t like them, bring them back and pick out a few more. And….” He stepped to the nearby table and crouched down, opening the flaps on a large box. When he stood, he had a few puzzle books in his hands. “These too.”

“Those are crossword puzzles.”

“Your point?”

“I hate crossword puzzles.”

His amusement faded and he dropped the books back in the box. “Suck it up, Jo. Quite being a pissy bitch about this. You’ve got two weeks of downtime. You’ll be glad for it later.”

“Fine.”

“And whatever is causing that distraction? Get it taken care of, yeah?” He leaned on the table. “It’s only two weeks. It’ll be done before you know it.”

The books were a nice idea, but sitting still to read felt indulgent and she couldn’t make herself read for more than a few minutes at a time. She felt jittery, as though she’d drunk a ton of coffee. It wasn’t just the waiting for Castiel either. It’d been a long time since she’d had time to herself. She’d almost forgotten what it was like to have absolutely nothing to do.

Jo checked out the supplies area and met Chuck, who for some odd reason blushed whenever he looked at her. Not just any blush, either, but fire-engine red, accompanied by stammering when he spoke. Despite that, he seemed nice. Helpful even. Jo was able to pass a few hours talking to him and his team, getting a feel how he operated his ‘department’.

Three days of anticipation for Castiel was enough however. She’d reached the point where she tossed and turned all night, unable to rest for the hyper-aroused state she was in, constantly thinking of their night together and imagining the next one. She couldn’t wait any longer. Finally, Jo got up and went to take a shower, knowing she was going to be unable to go back to sleep.

She headed for breakfast right when they opened at six and stayed through closing at eight, watching for Cas, waiting for him to come in. He didn’t show up and when she asked if they’d seen him in the kitchen, she learned why. He’d gone to the outer kitchen door and picked up something to take with him, saying something about signs he was finishing up on the outside.

While it was frustrating that he wasn’t there when she wanted him to be, he did have jobs that Dean had given him. He couldn’t ignore them to be with her. She wiled away the time by visiting a few of her people, though she supposed she should get in the habit of calling them Dean’s now, since they were all in his camp. There was a noticeable difference in their manner already that Jo was glad to see. Dean and Risa’s visits to all of them had been an encouragement.

By eleven, Jo was bored with waiting and chose to help Mya in the laundry with the sheets. A boring job made much more exciting when Jo saw Castiel return. He stood at the picnic table where Dean was taking an early lunch. With the sheets up, she and Cas would have relative privacy to flirt and more when he inevitably sauntered over. A good choice, she decided, waiting at the clothesline for Castiel to approach her, drawing out her task as long as possible. Several times, she thought he’d walk over, but it wasn’t until Mya left that he followed her behind the lines of sheets.

He came up behind her as she adjusted a pillowcase on the line, putting his arms about her waist and his mouth near her ear. His breath tickled and she laughed.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” Cas nibbled down the side of her neck and back up. “Miss me?” 

“Were you gone? I didn’t notice.”

“Liar.” He chuckled, teeth nipping at her earlobe. “Now I’m all a fan of anticipation, but I get the feeling that you’re avoiding me.”

Jo gasped as he swirled his tongue behind her ear, sagging back against him, her hands lowering to rest on his forearms. “Do you?” 

“I do. You’re not thinking of welching on our deal, are you?”

“You can’t make me,” she told him, turning her head and meeting his mouth for a quick kiss. “We’re here now.”

“You’re absolutely correct. I can’t make you.” He guided her to a sheltered spot by the building so that they were hidden on all sides and backed her up against the wall. “However, I think your conscience is going to bother you for not following through your end of the deal when I clearly did mine and then some. I found beds for all of them here, showed them around, made sure they all had whatever they needed. So what have _you_ been doing the past couple days while I’ve been hard at work on my end? Avoiding me. That’s very naughty, Jo. I think I like naughty you. Our naughty selves could have a lot of fun together.”

While she tried to come up with a proper comeback in tune with the scenario, she couldn’t think of one. He’d pursued her enough. “I think it’s time we were a little naughty.” Reaching up, she cupped a hand behind his neck and urged his head down to hers. Their mouths met in a long, lingering kiss that left both breathless.

Castiel pressed his forehead against hers. “Then let’s go be naughty.”

“Lead the way.”

The walk to his cabin seemed interminable. There were too many people that wanted to stop them and talk. Jo fidgeted through each encounter, while Castiel, in contrast, didn’t even appear irritated by the interruptions. Finally, they reached his cabin and went up the steps.

Jo stopped, staring at the bead strands hanging from the doorframe in lieu of an actual door. Though she’d noticed them previously in her glances at the cabin, she’d not noticed the complete lack of an actual door. “You have no door.”

“I sort of kicked a hole through it one night. I’d been drinking with Dean and the door tended to stick. For some reason, I thought it’d be a good idea to just kick it open.” He shrugged, sliding a hand along the strands. They swayed back and forth from the contact. “I don’t actually recall the incident, only the aftermath. It was Chuck who told me what happened.” 

“Alcohol will do that.” She’d done some pretty stupid things herself in the past while under the influence.

“It sure will. Dean hung the beads there as a joke. He said every wannabe hippie needed a bead door.”

“Wannabe hippie?” Jo slanted a curious glance at him.

“Four women and a brief experimentation with the marijuana I found in the woods,” he said in explanation. “I never got around to replacing the door. Will it be a problem? Because I’ll have someone put up a new door later this afternoon if --”

“No, I like it.” She did, too, stepping to the strands and through them and looking around. The layout of his cabin was the same as Dean and Risa’s cabin. The difference was in how the furniture was arranged. “What about privacy, though? Aren’t you ever worried about it?”

“I’ve got a curtain up to hide the bed and if anyone comes in uninvited and gets an eyeful it’s their problem.” Castiel made a beeline for his bed.

Jo crossed her arms, watching him turn down the sheets and fluff the pillows. Her palms were sweating, heart beating fast, and she felt as though she couldn’t draw in enough air.

It felt wonderful. 

“I can’t do this,” she told him, kicking off her boots and leaving them by the door.

“Just relax. Take a few deep breaths.”

“Anyone could see in here.”

He returned to her, grasping her hands and leading her to one side of the bed. “Let’s just close the curtain here for some extra privacy.” He undid the ties on the curtains at the end of the bed and closed them. When he turned back to her, he pulled his shirt off and tossed it aside. Moving close, he hooked his fingers in the waist of her jeans and tugged her against him, hands moving to cradle her hips. Cas glanced first left, then right, then looked down at her, shrugging a brow. There was a decidedly mischievous expression in his eyes. “Hey there. I’ll show you mine, if you’ll show me yours.” 

“How could I resist such smooth talk?” She slid her hands up his chest to his shoulders. His skin felt hot to her touch.

“You can’t. You’re helpless to resist.”

“I am actually.” She smiled at him.

He smiled back, then nodded, that smile fading. “That’s enough talking, don’t you think?”

“Yeah. Definitely. Talking is overrated.”

They were all over each other in a second, pulling articles of clothing off and tossing them aside without a glance to see where each piece fell. The awkwardness Jo had half feared would be there wasn’t and they forgot the world outside for a few hours.

In a quieter moment much later, lying twined together, they talked. The sun moved in the sky, warming them through the window above the bed. Jo could hear leaves rustling in the breeze and the occasional chatter of people passing by.

Rather than talk about the Apocalypse, she told him about her childhood and all of those things that Ellen had shared with her as they’d traveled. She talked about her dad and how her parents had met.

“It was a blind date. Can you believe it?”

“Ellen always did seem the adventurous type,” he remarked, shifting the covers up a bit more.

“Not only a blind date, but set up by Grandma Liz. That was mom’s mom. Died when I was only a few months old. I never got to meet her. Anyway, Mom went under protest, fully expecting a guy totally wrong for her, but grandma could pick ‘em. She knew exactly what would attract my mom and my dad was it.” She laid her head on his chest. “William Anthony Harvelle came from a long line of hunters, but he wanted a family and a place where hunters could go to connect with each other, like a safe harbor. He had a plan.”

“The Roadhouse?”

“Yeah. He had both for awhile. A family and a place. And mom took the news of his…other line of work in her usual manner. She just took it in stride, though when he was gone on a trip she hated every second of it, hated that job. It was a love-hate thing, his hunting. She loved that he was helping people, hated that it had to be him out there. And then when I left….” Jo drew little invisible circles on his chest and stomach with her fingertips. “She was as pissed as I’d ever seen her, but I kept going. I wanted to help people, make the world a better place. She said I was just like him; that I had none of her in me and all of him.”

“I think you’re a lot like Ellen.” His hand cupped her shoulder.

“Me? No, Cas, I’m not. I’m nothing like my mom. She was fearless, strong, stubborn --”

“And you’re none of those things?”

Jo raised up on her elbow to look at him. He was serious. “No, I’m not.”

“Are you certain?” He stilled her fingers, grasped them in his. “You went to Detroit knowing the signs were overwhelming. You knew something bad was on the horizon.”

“Something bad is always on the horizon. It was something we had to do. We had to try to stop it. It’s the job, Cas. You know that.”

“It takes a certain amount of fearlessness and strength to walk into a bad situation knowing it’s bad and that you could easily die. Believe me, I’m fully cognizant of the extent of both needed.”

“We were doing our job,” she reiterated.

He shifted a little. “You left home to be on your own years ago. That’s adventurous and stubborn both, especially since you remained alone until Ellen found you. Then, after her death, you chose to lead those people.”

“I made a promise to her and again, it was my job.”

His hand stroked her bare back. “I see you as all of those things and more. Fearless, strong, determined, intelligent, beautiful, fun….” He watched her a moment. “Need I go on?”

“You see all of that in me?”

“I could continue even. Shall I?”

Jo laid back down, head once more on his chest. Apparently, how she saw herself wasn’t how others did. “I don’t feel fearless, or strong. I feel scared, nervous, tired. I feel like if I don’t do something with my time I’ll go nuts. I don’t know who the person you described is.”

“The way we see ourselves isn’t always what others notice. It’s okay to be scared, nervous, and tired, Jo. You’ve been through a lot. You’ll be twitchy for awhile yet.” He held her and Jo fell asleep cradled in his arms.

~~~~~~~~~~

She was worth it.

That was the thought that kept running through Castiel’s mind and one he occasionally heard echoed by Jimmy. Jo was worth the wait, worth giving up other women, worth making a commitment to. She was exactly what he thought she’d be for him and he continued to think about that throughout the next few days. He hoped heaven really did have something planned for a future aside from the remaining apocalypse, because he wanted to have more time with Jo.

He was walking towards the shooting range when Dean approached him and slung an arm about his shoulders.

“So what do your ex-girlfriends think of this suddenly one woman behavior?” 

“They accept it. What else would they do?” He tried to shrug Dean’s arm off with little success. It wasn’t budging. “It’s not as though I left them any doubt as to my decision.”

Kylie and Vanessa still seemed perplexed by his decision, while Natalie and Carrie had made friendly overtures to Jo, not holding a grudge against her.

“Well, now that you’re not seeing them anymore, I’ve got a question about that.” He raised a finger, pointing at him. “You ever get them all together at once?”

“At once?”

Dean waggled his brows. “You know. At once. Group action.”

Cas shook his head. “Oh geez, Dean.” He should have known Dean would come up with something like that.

“Enquiring minds want to know.” He pointed back at himself. “I’ve been tamed here. Cue the whip sound. Tell me I can still live vicariously through your sexual escapades.”

“I’m all out of escapades unless you count Jo’s games.”

“Games?” Dean’s interest appeared to perk exponentially and he removed his arm from Castiel’s shoulders. “Do tell.”

It was an honest slip of the tongue that he hadn’t meant to do. “Just games,” he said, trying to hedge and knowing Dean wasn’t going to let him.

“What kind of games are we talking here? Kinky bondage, black leather, whips, and chains?” He was amused at the prospect, humor dancing in his eyes. “Because I can totally picture Jo in a leather bustier and t-back. Maybe some stiletto-heeled thigh-high boots.” 

Castiel snorted, though he could picture that too. “Hardly.” He glanced around, sure that someone had snuck up to them and was listening to the conversation, but they were still alone. “She likes to be…persuaded into bed.”

Some of that amusement faded. “You mean rape games? Cas --”

He crossed his arms, wondering if he really should be telling Dean this. Probably not, but he forged on anyway. “Not really. More like…coercion or blackmail, which requires a fully thought out scenario and a bit of planning to act out.”

“And I thought I was lucky with a woman who doesn’t mind dressing like a French maid or naughty nurse. You hit the jackpot. On the flip-side though….” Dean whistled. “Are you serious? Jo Harvelle likes to roleplay coercion situations? Jo. Jo who spent years trying to get herself taken seriously as a hunter. Jo who --”

“Yes, Dean. That Jo.”

“That’s…that’s just…so not what I expected.”

Cas nodded. “There are some emotional issues involved.”

“Huh.” Dean shook his head, looking regretful. “As much as I’d like to pursue _that_ tantalizing tidbit, I’ve got a demon to persuade to tell me a few lies. Wanna come with me, maybe pass me the holy water or the salt off the table?”

“No, I’ve got plans.”

“Bummer.” Dean sighed. “Well, bring Jo over to our cabin after dinner, about eight. I should be done by then. Risa picked up some Reno 911 seasons last time she went out. I thought we could all four of us watch a few episodes, have some popcorn, a few beers.”

“Sounds fun. We’ll be there.”

He watched Dean walk off towards the unpopulated end of the camp where they kept their demon prisoners. Lucifer liked to taunt Dean by giving out false information. He left locations for the Colt and Lucifer with one demon and they’d find another demon waiting at one of the locations with more false information. Dean called it Operation Breadcrumb, meaning he thought Lucifer was leading them to something eventually, he just wasn’t entirely sure what that thing was. Probably their deaths.

After years now of that trail, Dean had become surprisingly blasé about it. Castiel suspected that was the point. Lucifer planned to make them unconcerned and swoop in and slaughter them all.

He started towards the shooting range once more. Jo was practicing soon despite Dean’s efforts to keep her resting. It would be fun to see if he could distract her before she even got started. They should have the place mostly to themselves, so if things got heated they could let off a little steam in the office Dean had set up there.

Perfect.

~~~~~~~~~~

Nearly a week later, Dean was working on the engine to one truck when Castiel sidled up to him. He’d been trying to forget what Castiel had told him about Jo and games, mainly because he didn’t think it’d be a good idea to accidentally mention it to Jo, but it was a difficult process. He’d look at her and wonder how she’d gotten to that point.

“I need a tv and a DVD player,” Cas said in a low, urgent voice that was the sort Dean imagined a low-life would use when trying to score some highly illegal drugs.

He glanced askance and bit back a smirk. “A tv and DVD player. You, Cas? Am I hearing you correctly? Did you, or did you not, give a lecture on how television is a vast wasteland designed to turn the human brain into mush? Recently? Like after those episodes of Reno we watched. What happened to having much better things to do with your time?”

“I require it for Jo’s continued comfort,” he explained with an uneasy shifting of his shoulders. “She liked the set-up you and Risa have and has expressed a desire to watch tv in bed with me. I’m not certain what she wishes to watch. Jimmy maintains she’s got some nicely naughty ideas planned. If that’s the case, then I wish to experience them.”

“Or could be she likes lounging around in bed watching tv as downtime.” Most hunters Dean had met admitted to vegging in front of the tv after jobs. It was another way to deal with stress.

He nodded in agreement. “Perhaps. Either way, I wish to procure both items and as you’ve generously acquired several for other people….” He broke off with a sigh.

Dean set his tools down and let his smirk slip free. It quickly grew to a full-blown grin. “It’s just killing you to actually cave on this, isn’t it?”

“It’ll make Jo happy. There’s nothing that says I have to watch any DVD’s when she’s not there. I knew very well that both items could be necessary and I’ll gladly watch whatever she wishes.”

“If you haven’t become a couch potato by now after these years hanging out with me, I doubt you’re in danger of your brain turning to mush.” He wiped his hands on a cloth.

“It was my idea, Dean, not hers. She explained it could be fun to watch tv together in bed and I offered to make that happen.”

Dean called someone to take over, then motioned for Castiel to follow him. For someone who didn’t seem to sunburn, he looked awfully red. On a hunch, he inquired, “Uh-huh. Were you actually _in_ bed when she made that request?”

“There’s that possibility.” He shoved his hands in his pockets, his shoulders hunching. That slouched posture still looked alien on him in Dean’s opinion.

“Was she doing something really interesting with her hands or mouth or both at the time?”

Cas turned his gaze up to peer at the sky as though fascinated by the color. After a moment, he replied, “There’s…that possibility as well.”

“So really, Jo wanted a tv and DVD player and suckered you into getting it for her _and_ setting it up in your cabin.”

“That’s not what happened.” His frown was fierce.

Dean laughed and slapped him on the back with one hand. “Man, Cas, that’s exactly what happened! You were under the influence. Happens to the best of us.” He spent a few minutes more kidding him about that, then turned his attention to planning a shopping trip. They needed other items anyway. Might as well make it a good raid. He planned it for the next day, laying out a simple trip to a complex that had been very good to them a few times in the past. With any luck, it hadn’t been hit too badly yet.

They left before dawn, reaching the area by a little after eight. Dean was pleased to see that the stores weren’t too torn up.

“Okay. Alpha team, pick up two tv’s and DVD players. Batteries too, and anything else we might need in the future that’s not already on your ‘get’ list. Cas, go with them. Pick out what you want. Stick around and keep an eye out once you’re done. Beta team, pick up the foodstuffs. Once you’re loaded, get back to camp. Jo, you’re with me and my team.”

“And what are we picking up,” she asked a few minutes later, walking alongside him.

“You get a tv and DVD player, you need things to watch.” He motioned to a building that had a small sign above the door: Movie Rental and Sales.

They swept the building first, made certain there were no surprises, and were soon perusing the shelves, grabbing whatever caught their eye. Dean watched them a moment, then headed to the curtained area at the back of the main room, pulling a piece of paper from his pocket and smoothing it open. He slipped through the curtain, intent on his task. Behind him, he heard a noise, assuming it was Jo or one of the others. “Don’t get started, okay? Porn is a natural, beautiful thing.” When there was no smartass answer that any of his team or Jo would make, he reached for his gun and whirled. 

There was a disheveled, dirty woman coming towards him. She reached for him as he brought his gun up, hands ripping the gun from him before he could get a tight grip. Dean pitched over backwards, slamming into one display, items crashing to the floor. He could smell her rank breath, his heart racing in his chest.

Close, she was too close, too fast, too --

“Get off him, bitch!” Jo shot the woman, once in the chest, once in the head, the body hitting the wall and sliding to the floor. 

“Hell and damnation,” Dean gasped, scrambling away and pushing himself up to stand.

Jo stood in the curtained doorway. “All clear,” she yelled, in response to a muffled question. “Of course I’m sure. I got her. Guard the damn door like you’re supposed to, will you?”

Dean took a couple deep breaths. “Thanks, Jo.” 

“You’re welcome,” she replied, stepped the rest of the way through the curtain, studied the blood splatter on the wall, and moved to join him. “I save your butt and what do I see? That your love for porn remains intact.” She indicated the slip of paper in his hand. “Tell me that isn’t a shopping list.”

“It could be.”

Tugging it from his fingers, she read through it, then handed it back. “That’s not your handwriting.”

He shoved it in his jacket pocket. “It’s Risa’s birthday list, okay? I don’t celebrate mine anymore, but she wants a little fuss made for hers.”

“She wants porn for her birthday?”

“She wants one movie and it’s one of those artsy women’s porn titles.” He adjusted his jacket. “Besides, porn can be used to enhance the healthy sex life of a couple if both parties agree to the use of it.”

“Sure.” It looked like she didn’t believe him, her lips turning up in that smug little smirk she had. Reaching out, she grabbed one of the fabric shopping bags hanging on the wall and started putting DVD’s into it.

“What are you doing?” He crossed his arms. There didn’t appear to be rhyme or reason to her selections.

“What does it look like I’m doing?”

“Shopping.”

“Bingo!”

“You’re stealing porn.” Somehow, he’d never pictured Jo getting porn. Being in a porno in his head, yeah. Watching it herself? Nope.

She glanced at him. “Of course I am. Haven’t you heard? Porn can be used to enhance the healthy sex life of a couple if both parties agree to the use of it.” She snapped her fingers several times. “Thought you were up to the minute on these things.”

“Cute, Jo. Real cute.” Dean rolled his eyes. “Is Cas aware you’ve got porn planned?”

“Somehow, I don’t think he’ll object,” was her dry reply. “Besides, I don’t have just porn planned. I have mock-the-porn planned and if, in the process of mocking it, it causes a rise, then all the better.” 

Now that was more what he expected from her. “You’re going to make him watch porn to mock it?”

“I can’t _make_ Castiel do anything, Dean. Seriously though, with titles like these, they just cry out to be mocked. ‘Edward Penishands’? Really? Tell me that’s not a prime contender for mockery.” She crouched down to pick out more titles.

Suddenly, her criteria was obvious. “What could have been…” he murmured.

Jo glanced up. “What was that?”

“Nothing.”

When she’d filled the bag, she stood. “Mockery will definitely commence in a few hours.”

“And probably something else as well.”

“That’s the plan.” She sashayed to the doorway and through it. There was no other way to describe that wiggling walk. Dean shook his head and followed her.

They were almost to the outer door when it opened and a man poked his head in. “Uh, Dean? Everything’s loaded and we need to haul ass. Watch team reports nine Croats heading this way on foot. Fast.”

“Thanks, Alex.” Dean followed Jo to the truck, glad to see that she kept going to it rather than stop, whirl, and shoot at the Croats that rounded the corner behind them. The last thing he needed was to have to leave her because she did something stupid. The watch team was in place for a reason and he was glad to see she realized it.

She reached the passenger side where Castiel waited and Dean saw Cas grab her hips and hoist her up into the truck. He reached the truck himself, climbing in and starting it up amid the sound of gunfire from the back.

Just because they made runs all the time didn’t mean it was ever easy.

There were more Croats attempting to block the way out, but they got through them and back on the road back to the camp. This time, it didn’t appear that they’d lost anyone. 

When the immediate danger had passed, Jo relaxed back in the seat and sighed. “You sure know how to show a girl a good time.”

Though Cas leaned close to Jo, his voice was loud enough for Dean to hear the reply. “I’ll show you an even better time when we get back. I plan to have you screaming my name in under a minute once we’re alone.”

She giggled. 

Dean blinked. He’d never heard her giggle before and that was an honest giggle. 

She shifted a little on the seat, hand dropping to Castiel’s thigh. “Tease.”

Cas made one of those revolting purring noises he’d made that day by the clotheslines. “I told you before, I never tease without delivering. You’re gonna get the bonus plan, baby.”

Dean cleared his throat. “You two do realize you’re not alone in here right?”

“Did we make you uncomfortable? I apologize,” Cas said, looking around Jo at him.

“Just…keep it in your pants, okay there, stud?”

Jo snickered.

When they returned, Dean wasn’t surprised when Cas asked if they could take a two hour long break before setting up the tv and DVD in his cabin. He had no trouble figuring out just what Cas and Jo were going to be doing.

~~~~~~~~~~

Risa studied the map on the table, then the pages of the open books. She sighed, shaking her head. “I don’t see it, Castiel. There’s not a single road or town or anything with that name in this state. Not now or ever if I’m reading these right.”

“I concur. Another demon, another lie. What a surprise.”

She opened another book, skimmed the table of contents, decided it was useless for her search and shut it again, standing and stretching. They’d been researching the information the demon had given Dean with no luck. “No place, no Colt. Why are you all so sure it’ll work anyway?”

“We’re not.” He reached out one hand and closed the books, stacking them in a neat pile. “It’s the only idea we have aside from Michael and you’re aware how that turned out.”

She was. Risa had been there when Dean had called out, heard the desperation in his voice, witnessed his bitter, regretful tears when what he’d expected hadn’t happened. The archangel hadn’t answered and Dean had stayed in a drunken stupor for over a week after.

Risa was aware of more than Dean realized. She knew Castiel had once been an angel and that he claimed he was no longer one, essentially human. She knew about demonic hosts and angelic vessels and the difference between them. Risa had heard a lot by simply keeping her mouth shut and ears open. Like who Sam was and what had happened to him. Dean avoided talking about it and she knew why. He disliked talking about things that caused him pain and she never let on that she knew. She wanted him to tell her himself someday. The only reason she knew about it was courtesy of one of those drunken discussions Castiel and Dean sometimes engaged in late at night. She didn’t think either realized how much had been said.

What she didn’t know was how he’d met Castiel and how they’d become as close as brothers. Right now might be the perfect time to chat with Castiel about it. Dean was sleeping in and wouldn’t likely interrupt them. She returned to her chair. “Can we talk?”

“Thought we were already,” he replied, rolling up the map they’d been studying and putting it away in a tube.

“No, I mean about you and Dean.”

Castiel paused, eyed her a long moment, then nodded. “I reserve the right not to answer.” He put the tube with all of the others.

She nodded her assent, though he did that normally when he didn’t want to answer a question. He had ignoring questions down to an art form. “Fine. How did you meet?”

“The first time or the time face to face that he remembers fully?”

Risa hesitated, suspecting there was much involved in both times that she should know. “Both.”

Castiel took the chair across from hers. “Why do you want to know,” he countered.

“You’re his closest friend here, practically a brother. I’d like to know how that came about.”

“You should ask Dean.”

“I have. He won’t talk about it.” She studied him. He didn’t appear terribly concerned about her reasons for asking, merely curious.

“And you think I will?”

Shrugging, she glanced at the door and back at him. “I think that that part of your shared past doesn’t cause you nearly as much pain as it does Dean. I think your pain came later and I think to fully understand your friendship I need to know the truth.”

“Perceptive, except you don’t really mean to understand, Risa. You mean to attempt to negate your jealousy.”

The truth was uncomfortable and she shifted. “Castiel --”

“No, it’s okay. There’s no need to deny it. I understand. I take a lot of Dean’s time away from you. He tells me things he’d probably never tell you. It’s only natural that you’d be jealous.”

She bit her lip and drew in a sharp breath. “He’s my husband. He knows my past, all of it, and for me to not know art of his…. It’s like a secret between us.”

“I shouldn’t tell you without his consent.”

“Please.”

Tipping his chair back, he crossed his ankles on the table and clasped his hands on his stomach. “Bear with me for a moment, all right? I need to get a proper reference of where to begin. Did he ever mention the hellhounds to you?”

She thought about what Dean _had_ mentioned and nodded. “Briefly. He said that hellhounds attacked him, dragged him off to hell, and he was rescued later.”

“Any details?”

“Like what?”

“Like how he was rescued?”

“No.” Dean had glossed over that part of his past as quickly as possible, his voice tight with tension and emotion, skipping months at a time in his narrative. “He basically said that a lot of things happened after that that shouldn’t have and Lucifer was freed.”

Castiel stared at the ceiling a moment and when he returned his gaze to her, his stare was piercing. “That handprint seared into his flesh is mine.” He held up one hand and as he continued, he raised it in the air. “I snatched him from the fires of eternal damnation and raised him back to life.” Now he lowered his hand back down. “As far as I know, he doesn’t really remember that part, only waking in his grave.”

It was due to Castiel that she had her husband at all. Risa swallowed hard at that, feeling like the biggest ungrateful bitch in the world for how she’d sometimes treated Castiel. 

“It could have been any of us in the garrison that grabbed him,” he said, almost as though she’d said that out loud. “I just happened to reach him first. If he does remember, he’s never mentioned it to me. I don’t believe he does because when we met later, he didn’t appear to know me.” He watched her, not even seeming to blink. “I tried to talk to Dean immediately after he raised up and couldn’t in my true form. I was vesseled up for our next meeting. He and Bobby did a summoning and we met for the second time.” He tilted his head to one side. “There’s quite a bit to tell if you wish to know how we got where we are today and I don’t believe we’ve the time before Dean wakes. Simply put, the road we’ve traveled together has been a long one. I fell because I believed Dean was right, became his friend and ally in his efforts to stop the Apocalypse, and when I really lost everything I’d ever known and became human, he was more friend and family to me than my brethren had been. Is that enough Risa? Are you now able to begin understanding?”

She nodded. “I…it’s enough for now.” She looked at him with new eyes and saw, not an irritating obstacle between her and Dean, but a rock that had somehow kept Dean going. Dean, in return, had been Castiel’s rock. She saw bitterness beneath his overall manner, but not regret. After all that had happened to him and to Dean, both together and singly, he didn’t regret the journey itself. He didn’t regret it and she wondered why. Most would. Most would have their bitterness wrapped up with regret, all tied together in a neat bow.

Maybe another time she’d ask him.

He removed his feet from the table top and got up from the chair. “Think about what I told you. If you’re still curious, I’ll answer basic questions, but if you want details, you go to Dean. Agreed?”

“Thank you.”

With a final nod, he left the cabin and Risa pondered what he’d told her. 


	7. Chapter 7

While Castiel was admittedly bitter over his familial relations, he didn’t regret the way his relationship with Dean had evolved. Nor did he regret the path that had brought him Jo. He didn’t regret because he had to believe that some good could come from all of the horrible things that had occurred. He had to believe there could still _be_ good coming, whether it ever came or not.

The medication he took helped, making the dark not quite so dark and the weight of his sometimes pessimistic thoughts bearable. With the drug in his system, he could see the possibilities for a decent turn to world events. He could function rather well day to day and did, as long as he continued taking the pills. When he stopped taking them, he returned to the emotional wreck he’d been. He didn’t ever want to feel that way again, like there was no hope anywhere to be found and no point in trying to do anything. He’d hated the sensation.

So Castiel took his pills like a good boy and retained a bit of hope for the future that grew in light of Chuck’s returned visions.

The drug made Jimmy’s depression bearable as well, because Jimmy did have long periods of despair. Understandable, in his opinion. He thought about his situation with Jimmy, a thing he did often. Life hosting an angel was different than being stuck with a humanized one. Jimmy seemed to feel emotions all the more strongly for being the non-dominant one in their body. Like what he was feeling now.

Jimmy had begun to develop feelings for Jo. Castiel could sometimes feel them as easily as his own when they were with Jo. He knew Jimmy’s joy at her smiles, his pleasure from hearing her voice, and on more than one occasion, Jimmy’s feelings were strong enough to produce a physical response. It didn’t happen often, but it did happen.

It didn’t surprise Cas that Jimmy liked her, nor that he was attracted to her. Jo just had something about her that appealed.

Cas had told Jo that he took the pills to treat depression, but not about Jimmy. Never about Jimmy. He had no idea how to broach the subject with her in a way that wouldn’t make her feel weird about it. In the future, he’d have to tell her and in all honesty, he should have immediately, but at the time it hadn’t seemed the sort of thing to share.

He stepped to the dock and to the end of it, sitting and stretching his legs out, then crossing his ankles. Castiel leaned back on his hands, staring at the water, listening to the sounds of nature and the faint sounds of people in the camp.

He’d told Risa what he did because she was right. The knowledge had been a secret between her and Dean and there should be no secrets between a husband and wife. He’d given her enough to assuage her curiosity for the time being and hopefully Dean would loosen his lips before she had many more questions. While he’d gladly give her his version of events, what she needed was Dean’s. Dean needed to open up to her the rest of the way and tell her everything; share the pain with her and let her help him shoulder it.

A laugh burbled up.

I’m one to talk about sharing and not keeping secrets, he thought. I can’t even figure out how to tell Jo the most important thing about me.

Castiel loosed another laugh and watched the storm clouds rolling in from the west.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jimmy Novak was very afraid that he was falling in love with Jo Harvelle.

The deeper Castiel’s feelings for her grew, the deeper Jimmy realized his own were growing, but it wasn’t a symbiotic thing. On the contrary, he was fully capable of hating what Castiel liked and vice-versa -- and had. They were separate in that regard, each with their own feelings, like, and dislikes.

In a conversation they’d had about having separate pieces of themselves within the whole, he’d told Castiel that they were two personalities mostly conscious of each other, interacting to run their body, and that Cas was the dominant one who took over because Jimmy couldn’t emotionally handle his religious delusions.

Castiel hadn’t found that amusing, going into a lecture on how Jimmy wasn’t crazy and neither was he. He wasn’t some made up personality created by Jimmy’s mind and he certainly didn’t appreciate Jimmy trivializing their situation, or the attempt to compartmentalize it into human understanding that was blatantly wrong.

He hadn’t meant it the way Castiel took it. He wasn’t trivializing or compartmentalizing. He was trying to put it in terms others would understand if they couldn’t grasp the whole angel and vessel thing. Like if Jo couldn’t get it. Not he thought she couldn’t. She appeared to understand a lot of things that made most people shudder in horror.

But Castiel was in no mood for discussing it, so Jimmy dropped it. And dropped it. And dropped it again, each attempt to discuss it ending in an argument or lecture.

The bottom line about Jo was that Jimmy was lonely. It was very lonely with only Castiel to talk to and even though he knew Jo didn’t know about him, he liked the emotions he saw in her eyes when she looked at them. Amelia had once had those same emotions. He liked how Jo talked to them, telling them about her family and her life before the end. Jimmy wanted most desperately to talk to her himself, to feel like he actually existed in some form other than a voice in Castiel’s mind and the occasional shifting presence when he was upset. He desired her to say his name and look at him with pleasure. _Him_ , not Castiel.

Jimmy wanted what he couldn’t have.

And it was hell that he couldn’t escape from.

Certainly not the hell Dean had known, but a hell nonetheless. Always to watch, never to be known.

One-sided affection was never fun.

Jimmy endured.

He attempted to soothe the pain of it by sleeping during the hours Castiel was awake and with Jo, yet as a balm, it was ineffectual. It left Jimmy awake when Castiel slept, unable to experience anything. He had the quality of life of a slug, which left him more frustrated than ever. In an effort to feel _something_ , he realigned himself with Castiel’s waking and sleeping hours and resigned himself to how it had to be.

Jimmy returned to loving Jo from afar -- if afar merely meant he never talked to her himself. There were still the hours Castiel spent with her to experience and he was careful not to alert Castiel to his being awake when moments turned intimate. He shuddered his pleasure at her touches and kisses, thrilled to the feel of her body against his, then wept because he was an intruder that shouldn’t even be present.

It was a horrible existence, but it was all he had.

~~~~~~~~~~

At the end of a month, Jo had begun to feel almost like her pre-Apocalypse self. She could relax with Castiel without one word that hinted of the drama they’d created for themselves. It was enough that he continued to watch her and the fact that he treated her initial request as something completely normal went a long way towards making her feel she could some day set that bit aside.

She was pleased to see each person she’d led finding some place in Dean’s camp and making friends. Rick had become buddies with that Yeager guy, the two often going hunting together, and Mya now strolled the camp with Carrie and Natalie, calling them ’very cool chicks’. Jo had to agree. Both were polite and well-mannered, neither ever once bringing up that they’d been Cas’s girlfriends. As for herself, she’d begun a tentative friendship with Risa. They had coffee mid-morning most days, discovering many shared interests including movies and music.

Risa poured them both coffee and carried the cups to the table. They were alone in the office. Outside were the sounds of people practicing at the range.

After doctoring her coffee with a packet of sugar, Risa crossed her arms on the tabletop. She slid the fingers of one hand along the crack in the table, over and over and finally asked, “Did you know Sam?”

Jo nodded. “I did.”

“What was he like? Dean…. He won’t talk about him; says Sam died, but I know that’s not true. Sam’s Lucifer’s vessel. I know it and I know very well an angel’s vessel has to have a live soul inside that agreed to it and remains alive. It’s not like the demons. So…Sam is alive.”

“Sort of. I think he’s more dead than alive though. He ceased to be Sam when he said yes.”

“When was the last time you saw him?”

Jo laughed, but it was a bitter laugh. “Just before Detroit. A demon named Meg had gotten her claws into him, told him a bunch of lies, started getting him ready to accept Lucifer. You see, she really knew Sam. She’d possessed him once and learned a lot about him. I don’t know why he listened to her to begin with. He knew….” She sipped the coffee even though it was scalding. “My mom and I tried to stop him. We were among the only ones to survive Detroit. It was bad, Risa, and I’d fully expected to find Dean there fighting to save Sam, but their…bond had been broken too long.”

She didn’t tell Risa about that meeting she and Ellen had with Sam and how he’d been twisted into thinking he was doing the right thing. It had been too late to turn him back to the side of good.

“Before that though, he was the kindest, gentlest man most days. Dean would kid him about his chick side, really dig into him, and Sam would hit right back. It was good, you know? They made a good team.”

“If they were so good, then what happened?”

Jo shook her head. “Not sure. We defeated the horseman War and then Sam was gone. He just left and Dean never told me what happened to cause that.”

“Do you ever wonder?”

“Every damn day.”

It was a surprise when Dean joined her for lunch a few days later, asking about the very thing Jo had mentioned to Risa: Detroit.

She stared at him, trying to decide if he really should know and if she told him, what she should edit out. Finally, she nodded her consent. She’d tell him how she and Ellen had managed to live when all the rest had died.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dean had been trying to figure out how to broach the subject of Detroit with Jo since she’d arrived in the camp. He was insanely curious as to how she and Ellen had gotten out of there alive. He took his lunch and went to the table she’d chosen off to one side, away from the rest.

“Tell me about Detroit.”

He didn’t want to hear it, yet at the same time he did. Just because he hadn’t seen Sam didn’t mean he’d stopped caring. He hoped Sam had had a little fight left in him, but by all accounts he’d heard thus far, Sam had simply walked right up to Lucifer and invited him right inside.

Jo set her sandwich down. It slid apart into a mess on her plate. “Dean. You don’t want to know.”

“Tell me anyway,” he insisted. “You and Ellen. Sam. What happened? Come on. Not like anything can tarnish my memories of Sam any further, is it?”

She abandoned her lunch, took a deep breath and turned on the bench, drawing her legs up and wrapping her arms around them. She nodded. “Okay. We blew into town already knowing that Sam had been compromised. Mom had been talking to other hunters she knew who were tracking him. He had a demon companion. Female.”

“Sounds familiar.” He snorted. He recalled Ruby and found it darkly funny that Sam had been the one swayed by a pretty face and seductive words in the end, when most people would have thought that’d be Dean’s fate. Dean didn’t trust demons under normal or abnormal conditions. Sam, though? Sam had wanted so badly to do the good thing, the right thing, that he’d ignored how he’d gotten there. Just because good could come from something, didn’t mean that thing itself was good or that the outcome would be good. Didn’t necessarily follow. Sam had trouble seeing that, especially with Ruby. Not until it was done and the good he’d thought he was doing had been evil in disguise and Ruby really was a deceiving bitch demon.

“I don’t know how they reconnected or why he even let her near him, but she knew him. Knew him well. She’d possessed him once.”

“Meg. Son of a bitch.” To trust Meg of all demons? What the hell had Sam been thinking? Dean tried to work that one out in his head, going through all of their interactions with her and not understanding why Sam had let her close.

“Yeah. She’d been working on him, going at his emotional weak points. She was good, Dean. She didn’t apologize for what she’d done to him before or anything like that. What she did was feed him lies about you, make like you were the one sending the hunters after him. She told him he wasn’t worth your time anymore. The great Dean Winchester was saving the world with his new buddy and surrogate brother at his side. He didn’t need his real brother and never would again.”

“New buddy and surrogate brother?” He clenched his hands into fists, seeing just where Meg had taken Sam and hating that Sam had believed her.

“You see it, Dean? She played on his jealousy of Castiel. Maybe he didn’t have any jealousy really to begin with, but by the time she was done relaying how you two were bonding after he left, he was raging, spitting Cas’s name like it was poison, blaming Cas, claiming Castiel deliberately took his place and edged him out.”

“How do you know all of that, Jo?”

Tipping her head back, she stared at the sky, face impassive. “I’m getting there. Just…let me tell it at my own speed okay? The plan was to meet him, convince him to come back to our side. Mom and I discussed out strategy, had it figured out and even a few contingency plans. I called him, said that we knew the two of you’d fallen out, but that didn’t mean we had to as well. We were still friends, right? I played dumb about Lucifer, pretended he was plan old Sam and that he wasn’t going dark side.” Jo sniffed, licked her lips. “We met for dinner at an upscale place. Got to finally wear my little black dress again. Anyway, he started giving this spiel about how you, Dean, were wrong and hunters were persecutors, indiscriminately killing…. It was a bunch of garbage like that. He’d lost sight of what truth really was.”

“Bet Ellen took that well.”

“Man, Dean, she was pissed. Our whole plan went right out the window. Didn’t bother arguing, just got up and told me we were leaving.”

“Did you?”

“No. Like an idiot, I told her I was staying awhile. I mistakenly thought I could somehow bring Sam back.” Her attention turned to the lake and she sighed. “He told me about Meg and how she’d helped him. Told me all those things I just told you.”

“I don’t understand why he’d tell you all of that, Jo.”

“He tried to flip me, Dean. He said all of those things like they were facts. Those things about you and about Cas…. He was trying to flip me, and then….” She lowered her forehead to her knees and sat that way for several minutes. When she looked back up, he lips trembled.

Oh Sam, Dean thought. You should have known Jo was stronger than that.

That Sam had thought he could sway her said something about what Sam had thought he’d known about Jo. Had Sam not seen how she’d matured? Had he not noticed Jo had changed? Granted, their actual conversations during the War incident had been brief, but even Dean had noticed the difference in Jo.

“Sam talked about how Meg had been right in Duluth. He and I, we could be so much more to each other than friends. We could be quite the team with the things we both knew. He had it all thought out. He and I against the world, finally getting in a position to where we could make it better. We’d have the power. Never mind that he wasn’t going to be him much longer. He was so certain Lucifer would keep his promises and give him the power to change things.” She laughed. “He’d been deceived to such an extent that there was no coming back from it. He’d convinced himself that he was in the right and if I wasn’t with him, I was against him.”

There were tears on her cheeks. She let them fall, making no attempt to wipe them away.

“Meg wanted to kill me. Sam wouldn’t let her. He told her that mom and I weren’t a threat, which pissed me off at the time, but that insistence…. When the battle was over later and we were prisoners, Lucifer came to us in Sam’s body and he let us go. He said he believed we weren’t a threat to him, called me a ‘little girl pretending to be grown up living in her mother’s shadow’ and mom a ‘controlling bitch who refused to let her child live her own life’.”

“That’s not true. You and Ellen settled a bunch of those differences and you were a team.”

“No, it was true. On some level at least. That’s how he works, you know. A little bit of truth. He chooses his words carefully to bend people to his will or to demoralize and neutralize -- which is what he did with us. He said we’d never be a threat because we were too busy fighting each other.”

Dean could see the pain in her face, hear it in her voice. “I’m sorry, Jo.”

She wiped her cheeks and looked at him with a sad smile. “We set out to either bring Sam back or kill him before Lucifer could step in and we failed. He talked to me alone, Lucifer did. Went after my weak points, my fears. He made some very good points, but he put just a little too much lie in them to sway me. He made the same mistake Sam did and I was honestly surprised when he let us go. Thought for sure we were done for. You know I can still hear Sam’s voice telling Meg that mom and I were just two women and how could two human women be any sort of threat to Lucifer.”

“He was wrong.”

“Meg found out how wrong later. I sent that bitch back to hell where she belonged.”

“I’d like to hear about that.”

“Another time.” Jo turned on the bench and dragged her plate back in front of her, picking apart the sandwich and eating the meat out of it. “I think I’ve done enough talking about it for one day. You’ll have to ask me about Meg another time. It’s quite a story all on it’s own.”

“I will.” He reached out and put a hand briefly on one of hers. “Thank you, Jo. You know, for telling me all of that.”

“I never want to talk about it again. I want to remember Sam how he was in Philadelphia, before…well, before everything.” She wiped her eyes. “And now I can’t stop crying. Geez. Regular waterworks here.”

“Cry all you want. I have.”

They sat in silence until the sun slipped behind the clouds and Castiel and Risa came up the path towards them.

~~~~~~~~~~

He had to find the missing angel before he did anything else. That was Michael’s first assignment. God knew who it was, but Michael needed to figure it out himself.

Michael sighed and went through a neat, methodical list of his brethren, checking each one off and moving on to the next. As usual, Gabriel was no help, sitting with his feet propped up and hands clasped behind his head, one of the few who hadn’t gotten in as much trouble as the rest. Funny that Gabriel was one who’d kept his nose clean.

“You could help,” Michael suggested.

“Oh, I already know who’s missing -- aside from Lucifer.”

Michael waited for enlightenment, but Gabriel only smirked up at him. When the silence got on his nerves, he asked, “Well? Who is it?”

“You’re so smart, big bro, you figure it out. I think it’s obvious who’s missing, but then, I don’t think you noticed that one much.”

He didn’t deny the charge. While he knew all of them, he didn’t _know_ them. He knew names of all, but not the personal details of most. “And you noticed that one?”

“I had occasion to down there. You could say we bumped into each other in the course of time.”

“Vesseled then? Male or female vessel?”

Gabriel’s laugh was raucous. “One of those.”

“You frustrate me, Gabriel.” Why couldn’t Gabriel say, for once, what he meant? Why did he have to play games?

“Look, just think about the details of what’s been going on down there and it’ll come to you.”

“How far back?”

“Consider the major players in the event. Come on, Mike,” he sat up, leaning forward, “this is an easy one. You’re _making_ it hard. You’ll laugh when you see it.”

Michael started with Mary and John Winchester and worked his way forward, through the birth of their sons and through their deaths. He continued onward in the lives of their sons, looking with care at the acquaintances and friends of both until he reached Dean Winchester’s liberation from hell. Michael slowed in his perusal and, if Gabriel hadn’t been sitting there all smug, he might have groaned with what he found.

No, not what. Who.

Castiel.

The inquisitive one. The resourceful one. The one who grasped things other angels didn’t. The one who enjoyed sifting through the arcane to gain knowledge.

Castiel, who was as bad as the humans in that regard.

Michael had hoped that being placed in Anna’s charge would temper him; make him turn his energies to a different purpose, but then Anna had willfully fallen and, in doing so, planted the seed that had ultimately led Castiel into disobeying those orders Zachariah had issued. Wrong orders and not those of their Father, but disobedience nonetheless.

He must have made some noise or expression, for Gabriel chuckled. “I see you do know the missing one.”

“Castiel. I remember him. I placed him in Anna’s garrison at our Father’s urging. He agreed it was the right thing to do and the proper place for him.” He sighed, searching time for Castiel’s whereabouts, watching his actions, studying what had occurred up to the point the earth had been veiled from view. “The last thing I see from him is his realization that he’s been left powerless and nearly human.” Michael looked at Gabriel, puzzled by that. “I gave no such order. Even Lucifer was not stripped of his powers --”

“That would be Zach’s doing.”

Michael looked around, but Zachariah was not in immediate view. To strip an angel of powers, of grace, of angelic essence, was a severe punishment. Anna had lost her grace when she took her nosedive to earth, growing in a human body as a human, but to cut off the tap while the angel was in a vessel the usual way? Michael wondered what it would do to the angel and the vessel, the long-term effects. He could see the beginning of it with Castiel and then nothing. What were Castiel and his vessel like now, after time had gone by? Had they both been driven mad from it?

“He never liked Castiel, you know. Castiel was too inclined to look everywhere for needed answers and not just where Zach sanctioned. He pissed Zach off big-time by batting for the human team and aiding Dean Winchester.”

“Castiel chose them like you did.” He didn’t understand Gabriel and it appeared he wasn’t about to understand Castiel either.

“You should see him now, Mike.”

He ignored the shortening of his name. If he let Gabriel know it bothered him, it’d never stop. It might never stop anyway. “You’ve seen beyond that point? Since we were called home?”

Gabriel’s gaze shifted slightly to the right. “I took a peek,” he admitted.

“And?”

“And I have to admit, I’m very curious as to what dear Dad has in store for him. You will be too, when you see what’s been going on down there.”

Michael took his conclusion to their Father and, at last, was able to see what had been happening on earth.

It was not what he’d expected.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you okay?”

Jo bent over, putting her head between her knees and concentrating on breathing the queasies away. Her stomach continued to flip-flop for long minutes until finally abating. For a second there, she’d thought she was really going to hurl. She stood back up. It was better when she didn’t look at the lake, so Jo turned away from it, focusing on the beach. “I think so. It’s weird. I’ve never been seasick before. Usually I’ve got an iron stomach.” Looking up at him, she caught a flicker of something she couldn’t quite identify in his eyes. It wasn’t worry or dread or anything like that, more like he suspected something. “What? What is it?”

“Oh, nothing.” He shook his head and crouched down, setting the towels beside her. “It’s a little choppy out there today. I’m not surprised you’re a little nauseas.”

“You aren’t.”

“I don’t get sick like that.” He shrugged. “Well, unless I’ve had too much to drink. Then it’s sort of inevitable.” One hand motioned to the rest of the beach area. “Pick out a good spot. I’ll bring up the stuff from the boat.”

She took the towels and laid them out a ways up the beach. It was nice to get away from the camp and do something like this. Castiel had told her she was the first person he’d ever brought here. This little beach area was his ‘spot’, or one of them, rather. He had ‘spots’ of his own all over the woods and immediate area, places he went to be by himself.

While the weather was getting cooler and the breeze was strong today, the beach was in a sheltered place, with no hint of the breeze save across the water. Jo was looking forward to getting a little sun. She hadn’t laid out like this in years. When Castiel had suggested it, she’d jumped at the chance.

Stripping to her underwear, since she didn’t have a swimsuit, she began to slather on the sunscreen that Chuck had very nicely found for her. It was funny how he’d had it out and ready, handing it to her before she’d even finished her question. He did things like that a lot.

Jo accepted Cas’s help with her back, his suggestion of help on her front making her smile as she peeled off her bra. He warmed the lotion in his hands before smoothing it across her skin, fingers kneading as though he was giving a backrub and not just rubbing lotion on. It felt good. She closed her eyes, wincing a couple times when he pressed a little too hard. In degrees, her back relaxed. Still, he continued. Jo opened her eyes, glancing at him over her shoulder.

He was off in his own little world, expressions crossing his face in rapid succession. Annoyance, anger, sadness and more. What the hell?

She cleared her throat and spoke.

~~~~~~~~~

And so it begins.

Castiel looked out at the lake. _It was the water_ , he told Jimmy.

Of course it was. She said never, Castiel. She’s never gotten seasick. It’s starting. She’s pregnant, just like I said she’d be.

No it isn’t. You’ve got babies on the brain. He pulled the boat up further from the water.

I wonder if she’ll be sick throughout. Amelia had morning sickness at bedtime mostly and a craving for that Hormel chili. It made her sick, which was a vicious cycle. She’d crave it, eat it, and throw it right up. It’s funny, Claire never would eat chili. Said she didn’t like the taste. It didn’t matter what seasonings I used or how mild I made it, Claire refused to eat it.

Castiel carried the cooler up to where Jo was laying out the towels. _Jo’s fine._ He watched her shinny out of her jeans and t-shirt, then reach for the sunscreen.

She is fine, Jimmy agreed. _You know, some women get really horny when they’re pregnant._

You have lots of experience with that, Castiel inquired.

Jimmy was silent a minute. Cas wondered if Jimmy was looking at Jo like he was, studying her shapely curves with appreciation. _No, actually I read about it. Amelia got a little touchy in her sixth month. Wasn’t very interested in sex. Not that our sex life wasn’t satisfying, because it was, it was just…different when she was pregnant._

You’re hoping Jo would be like that. Horny.

Can you blame me, was the dry reply.

Castiel got undressed and moved to the towels. “Need some help with the sunscreen?”

“Do my back?”

“Only your back or could your front benefit from some attention too?”

“Oh…both.” She undid her bra and slid it off.

How often have you been awake when Jo and I were in bed, Jimmy?

He felt the shifting sensation in his head of Jimmy stirring for an argument. When Jimmy spoke, his voice was both loud and defensive.

Occasionally, okay? I like her, Cas. I like her very much. She’s fun, intelligent, and I’ve enjoyed getting to know all of her.

You’ve synchronized with my waking and sleeping patterns, haven’t you?

Maybe.

Castiel smoothed lotion along Jo’s back in slow, steady sweeps. Maybe, huh? It was something Jimmy could do without Castiel even being aware of it. _She doesn’t know about you_.

You think I don’t know that? You think I’m unaware that the only way I’m living is vicariously through you? Do you think I can’t have feelings of my own?

I know you have feelings, Jimmy. We’ve talked about that before. He attempted a soothing tone, but Jimmy was having none of it.

This is so damn frustrating! I want to touch her the way I want to touch her! I want to hold her and kiss her and…. Damn it!

I’m sorry. He _was_ sorry. This was a difficult life for Jimmy and they both knew it. _  
_I can’t do any of that. I can’t. I have to experience it through you and that sucks. So yeah, Castiel, I’m hoping she’d horny, because feeling her touch is all I’m ever going to get. It’s you she loves and I’m just the guy stuck here who loves her that she’ll never know about.

If they were in two bodies, Castiel suspected Jimmy could give him a run for Jo’s affections. And if they were in two bodies, they’d be really fighting over her. Maybe even coming to blows. _I wouldn’t say never. She’ll have to know about you eventually._

He had to figure out how to tell her and that was the problem.

Will she? What will you tell her? Hey, Jo, my vessel’s soul is still in here and he’s fallen for you, too?

If I have to, I will.

Jimmy’s laugh was caustic. _Yeah, whatever, Castiel._

Geez, Jimmy What do you want me to do? I can’t change anything any more than you can.

Well, I don’t see you trying too hard to come up with a plan to tell her about me, so you’ll have to excuse me for not quite believing you right now.

“Cas?” Jo looked over her shoulder at him. “I think my back is fully covered.”

“Huh?” He blinked, transitioned from Jimmy to Jo with some difficulty and nodded. “Oh, right.”

She turned, hands raising to cup his jaw, thumbs brushing his cheeks. There was concern in her eyes. “How about you? Are you okay?”

“I’m my usual self. Why do you ask?”

She lowered her hands to his chest, then dropped them away. “You had these weird expressions on your face just now.”

“I did?”

“You did. Almost like you were arguing with yourself or something. What were you thinking about?”

Tell her, Jimmy insisted in an urgent tone. _Perfect opportunity, Castiel. Tell her right now. She wants to know._

“Cas? You can tell me whatever it is that’s bothering you. I’ll listen.”

See? She’ll listen. Tell her now, or so help me, Castiel --

What’ll you do, Jimmy? Hmm? Tell me that.

He wasn’t ready to tell her about Jimmy yet. “I was thinking about the way things are and the way things should be.”

After a moment, she wrapped her arms around him and moved in close. “Another time, maybe?”

Selfish bastard, Jimmy spat, and was silent once more.

“Another time,” he agreed, pressing a kiss to her lips and letting the opportunity to tell her slip away. There’d be another time, another day for that conversation and maybe by then he’d be ready.


	8. Chapter 8

Jo had been feeling weird for days, ever since that day she’d gone to that private beach with Castiel. Out of sorts. Not quite right. She woke with the feeling and dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, and because it was chilly, pulled on the jacket Cas had left in her cabin and not picked up yet. It was warm and smelled faintly of the aftershave he sometimes used when he bothered to shave. There were a few bullets in one pocket, a lighter in another, and a book shoved in the inside pocket. Jo didn’t bother to look at the book. He was always reading something or other.

As she headed down the path, her stomach growled and stirred in queasy circles at the same time. Jo took a shallow breath and gulped, concentrating on not throwing up on the path. Maybe eating wasn’t such a good idea. She decided to skip breakfast, heading instead to the office by the shooting range. Risa would be there by this time, trying to figure out if the latest supposedly good intel from their demon prisoners was anything to get excited about. It usually wasn’t.

Risa was nursing a cup of coffee when she got there, flipping through an old magazine with a bored air. She glanced up when Jo came through the door. “Morning. You seen Castiel anywhere out there? He was supposed to be here an hour ago to go over the maps with me again.”

“No, we didn’t do the stay-over thing last night. I had to get some kind of sleep.”

Her lips twitched about the rim of her cup as she took a sip. “Help yourself to coffee. I made a fresh pot. Dean left the pot on from yesterday and it wasn’t drinkable. I could smell it before I even got the door open.”

Jo took a cup from the stack and poured some, then took it to the calendar sitting on one table. It was a homemade one, made from large sheets of paper that some artistic soul had made an effort at decorating with snarky cartoons along the sides. She glanced at it, wondering why they bothered with calendars when the days were pretty much the same. An attempt to stay sane maybe? To keep the days in some sort of order? To pretend there was something more coming than the same thing they faced every day?

“What day is it,” Jo asked Risa, studying the previous months, smiling a little at the cartoons. She hadn’t actually kept track in weeks.

“The fourteenth, I think. There should be a little blue dot on the days that have passed. Chuck marks them off, like a little ritual after dinner every night. He comes down here, stares at the calendar, then puts a dot on the day.”

“Huh.” She carefully thought back, forcing herself to think about how many days had passed since she’d brought her people into the camp, and back from that date how many days had passed between that and her last period. She flipped between calendar months, then tapped her finger on the page. It’s only a few days, she told herself. Nothing to be concerned about. Stress sometimes did that, right?

“Why?”

“Curious.”

Two days turned into more, stretching out into over a week, and Jo had no sign of her period. No cramps, no backache, no craving for sweets. On the other hand, she’d been nauseas and a little more tired than usual. While she’d initially chalked up the nausea to a patch of bad food or illness, no one else was sick. The extra sleepiness she’d thought was from her tromping through the woods for hours with Castiel and sometimes Risa. With the non-arrival, her slight suspicion grew into the full-blown, nagging idea that she was pregnant.

“Oh boy.” She muttered and put a hand on her stomach. Perhaps she should see if Chuck had any pregnancy tests squirreled away somewhere. Surely he would. He had a little bit of everything else over in the supply area.

~~~~~~~~~~

“It’s gone. It’s gone, it’s gone, oh my God, it’s gone!” Chuck tossed the covers off his bed in a desperate attempt to find his missing notebook. Where had he put it? He’d searched his cabin, torn it apart, without finding it. Panic was setting in. If he couldn’t find it, he was going to have to rewrite all of it.

“No, no, I can’t rewrite it all.”

He half-groaned, half-laughed, aware in the vaguest sense that he sounded hysterical. It had to be here somewhere -- in theory at least. It wasn’t like he’d been carrying it outside the camp. It was here, but where? Where had he set it down last?

Standing straight, he slid his hands through his hair over and over, trying to think, to retrace his steps. He’d had it before going to work, but on what day? He didn’t remember going over for a few days now, which had to be making Dean suspicious -- the last thing he wanted to do. Dean suspicious wasn’t a good thing, not with the secret he was trying to keep. 

Maybe Dean wouldn’t find out? Chuck hadn’t seen Dean finding out, so maybe it wouldn’t happen?

He groaned and started to curse. What the hell was he thinking? Of _course_ Dean was going to find out. Dean found out about everything. Chuck took a long pull off the whiskey bottle on the table, then kicked the table leg, wincing only a little when the lamp fell off and landed on the rug with a thud.

It took him a moment to realize the noises he heard were knocks on his door. Opening it, he found Dean.

And his lost notebook.

Oh, crap.

~~~~~~~~~~

Chuck had been getting odder and odder as the days passed. His formerly neat work area was showing signs of neglect and more often than not, he’d not even shown up for his shift. It wouldn’t be so bad, but it was Chuck himself who’d done the schedule. He was ignoring his own plans, a thing he didn’t do.

Dean strode to the table Chuck normally sat at and began looking at the items strewn across the surface and then the things in the plastic drawers beneath it and off to the side. Something wasn’t quite right with Chuck lately and Dean thought maybe there’d be an answer here. He flipped through books and binders (all neatly labeled and only in white, blue, and black) and was growing irritable by the time he reached the bottom of one large tilting stack. On the very bottom was yet another three-ring binder, this one colored red. 

How many damn three ring binders did one man need, he thought with a disgusted snort.

Thinking it was another supply list, Dean flipped it open.

It wasn’t a supply list. It was fiction, written in tiny cramped script on lined notebook paper. Dean half laughed. Chuck was trying to write again. He remembered Chuck once saying his works aside from the ‘Winchester Gospels’ sucked and that writing was hard. Interesting that he’d choose to try writing again, though Dean couldn’t blame him. The days could get awfully boring at times.

He was about to close it and put it back, but then he actually read the first few sentences. And read them again. And when he couldn’t believe what he was reading, he read them a final time.

‘The air was hot and muggy, the sort of day more appropriate to late summer in the deep south than anywhere else in the United States. The weather had been weird for months, going to extremes in little more than hours. It was bad, but then everything now was bad. With the forming of the refugee camp behind them, Dean Winchester, Bobby Singer, and the now human Castiel….’

“Hell, no!”

After swearing a blue streak, Dean flipped through the pages, skimming the pages. He found a detailed account of the various happenings in the camp in those early days of camp life. Chuck’s writing was rather poetic and polished at times, though a large chunk of pages had passages crossed out, paragraphs written in the margins and letters of the alphabet or Roman numerals directing to pages added into the notebook.

Perhaps it was time to take a closer look at Chuck’s increased alcohol consumption and erratic behavior. He slammed the binder shut and left the lodge, binder tucked under one arm. Dean made his way to Chuck’s cabin and knocked. From inside, he heard swearing and the loud thud of something falling to the floor. The door opened.

“Uh…Dean.” Chuck ran a hand over his face and then through his hair as though to wake himself up. The smell of fresh whiskey emanated from him. “Hi.”

“Afternoon, Chuck. You been lying to me this entire time?” Holding up the binder, he waggled it in the air.

“Oh, man!” Chuck’s shoulders slumped. “I’ve been looking everywhere for that. I thought I’d lost it and that wouldn’t be good.”

Dean brushed passed him, surveying the room. It was in the same condition Chuck’s house had usually been in, only without the takeout boxes all over. His lips tightened with annoyance, anger simmering inside him. He’d thought this was over, that heaven had bugged out, leaving Chuck headache and vision-free, no longer a prophet. Words could barely express the emotions he was feeling, an odd mix of ire, relief, joy, and apprehension. If Chuck still had visions, maybe there really was a continuing road for mankind instead of the lights being snuffed out forever. Having a record meant people could, in theory, be around much later to read it. However, he had a helluva lot of apprehension, since heaven’s plans usually featured a Winchester in prominent position. “Answer the question. Did you lie to me about your visions being gone?”

With a groan, Chuck closed the door and shuffled over to one chair, dropping into it, legs stretched out. “No, no lie. They were really gone until Risa showed up. Then it all came back, like she was some catalyst, and it’s been a real pain in the ass because I was _liking_ not seeing things that made me uncomfortable, you know? First you and Risa and now I’ve got Castiel and Jo naked everywhere.”

“Everywhere?”

“Yeah.” Chuck sighed, staring at the toes of his shoes. “Everywhere. It’s like…clothing optional in his cabin. They go skinny dipping in the lake, too, something about the cold water being good for the circulation. That’s what Cas told Jo and I’m assuming it’s true, because he usually doesn’t lie about things like that. I don’t think that’s the real reason they go swimming though. Not to mention the trysts in the woods. They have a lot of those. Between the four of you, I feel like I’ve got a nearly constant porn film going on in my head some days. I mean, I don’t mind seeing Jo or Risa naked, because they’re both really beautiful women, but you and Cas? Oh, man.” He winced.

“That’s…that’s just really uncomfortable, Chuck.”

“Tell me about it. No cracks about being a Peeping Tom, okay? I feel bad enough about it already. Private means private and there’s nothing private. I’ve seen everything there is to see.”

Dean took it with a grain of salt, however. He recalled Chuck the writer/prophet as prone to exaggeration at times. “And you write all that? The sex stuff?”

“Not like I can refuse. I have to get it on paper or my head never stops hurting. I mean, I can tone it down and sort of gloss over the details, but it has to be documented, Dean. You’re all like bunnies. If you and Risa aren’t doing it, Cas and Jo are. Oh, and Risa. Risa hates me. Did you know that? I don’t know why. It’s like she knows I’ve had those visions of you two. And now Jo’s pregnant, so when _she_ finds out she’s going to be --”

“Whoa, did you just say Jo’s pregnant?” A pregnancy. That was something they hadn’t seen in a long time. Did it mean something? He had a hundred questions on that, but if Chuck hadn’t seen it, he didn’t have answers.

“Yeah. Don’t say anything, though. She won’t take the tests until tomorrow and I really like her, so I’d rather she didn’t freak out.”

“Does Cas know?”

“He’s known since Jo got here.”

Dean blinked, then realized that Chuck thought he was talking about the visions. “Right.” He held out a hand, motioned with his fingers. “Hand them over. All of them.”

He shook his head. “I’m sorry, Dean. I can’t do that.”

“Why not?” He dropped his hand back to his side.

“Because the voice says not to. Besides, if you destroy them, I’ll have to write it all again and my head really hurts, so just…don’t, okay?”

“Can I read them then?” He wanted to know what Chuck had seen. If he could know as soon as Chuck knew, then maybe he could _do_ something. Maybe he could change things.

“I suppose. If you want. Start with that one and when you bring it back I’ll give you the next one in the sequence.”

“How many do you have?”

“Three binders so far.”

“Only three?”

“They’re really big binders.”

Chuck was right. They were big binders.

“The second one is where Jo shows up again. Jo and Ellen.”

Dean nodded, and left with the first binder.

~~~~~~~~~

There was no one looking. Not that anyone would care if they saw them. Everyone in camp knew about them anyway. Castiel stopped in the middle of a sentence and caught Jo to him, lips finding hers. Far from protesting, Jo slid eagerly against him, arms going about his shoulders, her hands in his hair.

They were getting worse at the whole playacting thing instead of better. Half the time they couldn’t keep it going past a few minutes, mostly because they’d already gotten physical. While Cas didn’t see the point in it anymore, Jo hadn’t yet said that stopping word, so he attempted to keep the scenario going.

He drew back, but didn’t release her, hands caressing along her hips. “Where are you headed?”

“Over to supplies.”

He could feel her fingers in his hair. “Important errand?”

Her shoulders lifted a little in a shrug. “One I’ve been putting off the past few days.”

Though he waited, she didn’t explain. “Slip away and meet me by the dock about three?”

Jo’s gaze lowered, then turned to the path leading to the main lodge. “Maybe.” Her body tensed against him. 

“Is something wrong,” he asked, only to receive one of those too bright smiles that he’d learned indicated she was lying. Why she thought she had to lie to him puzzled him a bit. What on earth could she have to do that she didn’t want him to know about?

“No, nothing. I just have an errand to take care of.”

Castiel released her, his good mood fading. “Well…. I’ll find you later then.” The words came out snippy and stilted.

She caught his hand before he could walk away. “Cas, it’s nothing bad, okay? Don’t get mad. I just need to do this before we talk about it.”

Talk about what? He wanted to ask, except he knew she wouldn’t tell him what was going on until she was good and ready. “We will talk?”

She drew in a deep breath and didn’t smile again like she had. “Yes.”

“While I don’t understand why you won’t tell me….” He nodded. “Find me when you’re ready.”

“I will.”

Cas stepped onto the path and began to walk towards the shooting range.

__

This is it, came Jimmy’s voice, excited in tone.

_  
_

This is what, he snapped.

_  
_

She’s got that look, Castiel.

What look? He had an idea what Jimmy was heading towards, only because Jimmy had been going on about Jo and pregnancy for days. Making plans. Reminiscing about Amelia’s pregnancy and speculating on Jo. He’d been awake and wouldn’t shut up, yammering on over and over.

__

The ‘I’ve skipped and I’ve got to know for sure before I say anything’ look. Amelia had it, though I knew she’d skipped. Any man paying attention would know when his wife or girlfriend skips.

Skips what, he couldn’t resist asking, but Jimmy wasn’t listening.

__

I wonder how she’ll tell us. It’s got to be that. What else wouldn’t she want us to know? It’s not like we don’t know everything about her.

After several attempts to interject, Castiel sighed and abandoned the effort. There was no talking to Jimmy. He was too deep into his wonderings. Castiel wasn’t an idiot. He knew Jimmy was lonely and he’d figured out that Jimmy was desperate for something more, whether it was conversation with Jo or something else. He didn’t try to discourage Jimmy’s speculation. If Jimmy thought Jo was pregnant and it gave him hope, then all the better for it he supposed.

He just wished there was some outlet for Jimmy that didn’t include him.

~~~~~~~~~~

She’d hoped she wouldn’t have to pretend nothing was wrong with Castiel, praying she’d make it to supplies without running into him. Jo hated having to lie to him, but she wasn’t ready to tell him her suspicion she was pregnant.

Once Cas was out of sight, she hurried to supplies, walking up to Chuck. “Chuck, hi, I need --”

“Here.” Chuck held out two boxes.

“Uh…what’s this?” She pointed at them, noting the pastel colors.

“Pregnancy tests. That was what you needed right?”

Creepy. It was very creepy when he did that and all Dean would say about it was that it was something that happened on occasion and no, Chuck wasn’t psychic. If he’d bothered to ask her, she’d tell him the frequency was far beyond ‘on occasion’ and more like ‘every day, all day’. She blinked. “Yeah, but I only need one.”

“No, you need two,” he assured her. “One for certainty and the second one because you’re going to swear the first has to be defective.”

Jo snagged one box from his hands. “Chuck, one is fine.”

“No, it isn’t. Trust me. You’ll want that second one in about five minutes.”

In a defiant huff, Jo swept past him and into the tiny bathroom. She read the directions, followed them, and when the results were exactly what she’d thought they’d be, she cocked her head. “No. No, no, no, no, no. It has to be defec --” She stopped, realizing she was saying what Chuck had told her she’d say. Defective. Had to be defective. Jo smacked her forehead with her palm and made an annoyed face to herself in the mirror.

There was a knock on the door, Chuck’s voice ringing out loud and clear. “You ready for the second one yet?”

Opening the door, Jo snatched the box from him and informed him, “It’s beyond creepy when you do that. Just so you know.”

The second test yielded the same results and Jo sighed. Pregnant, she thought, trying out the sound of it in her mind. I’m pregnant. I’m a statistical anomaly. I _would_ have to be that two percent or whatever that still gets knocked up, even with a condom.

She blinked as a something about the timing hit her and counted backwards. No, wait. Jo pursed her lips. Not two percent. It was probably that jelly stuff that night in the back of Castiel’s truck which, if she remembered correctly, was only like eighty percent effective.

Oh crap.

She should have known better than to have sex with anything less than a condom. Was temporary stupidity a valid excuse for her behavior?

I am _so_ knocked up.

Which meant that the time for games was over. She needed to accept the responsibility and have a long, honest talk with Castiel.

Jo took a deep breath, tossed both tests in the trashcan, and stepped from the bathroom. 

Chuck gave her an encouraging, if somewhat tremulous, smile. “You’re going to be a great mom,” he told her, like it was a certainty.

“Right. Thanks. Is…is Cas…. Never mind, I’ll go look for him.”

He wasn’t in his cabin. Jo, however, felt comfortable enough to wait inside for his return. She laid in the center of his wide bed and thought about her condition. After talking with him, she was going to have to talk to Dean about it, too. There were a ton of preparations they were going to have to make. Birthing procedure outside a hospital was the main one, since hospitals had been some of the first places hit by the virus. There were other things to consider, too, like taking care of a baby and what if something went wrong?

The thought of giving birth the old fashioned way, frankly, terrified her. Jo wanted painkillers just to think about pushing a baby out without painkillers. She knew enough about having babies to know it usually hurt and that it was, generally, gross. 

She’d made a long mental list by the time Castiel came through the bead door. He paused in the center of the room, delight in his eyes and a tiny grin curling his lips. “You’re here in the daytime by yourself. That’s progress.” The annoyance he’d had earlier appeared to be gone completely.

Sitting up, she said that word she’d given him weeks earlier, followed quickly up with, “Cas…. I’m pregnant.”

He came forward, that grin fading in degrees. In his eyes, she thought she saw a glimmer of satisfaction before his gaze lowered to focus on her stomach.

“Say something. Please.” Her palms were damp with perspiration and yet at the same time, her mouth was terribly dry.

After a moment, he quirked a brow. “Apparently spermicidal jelly doesn’t work?”

The comment and the way he’d said it eased a bit of her tension and she dipped her head in a slow nod. “Apparently. Anything else?”

“You’re certain?” He rested his hands at his hips.

“I have two pregnancy tests and a skipped period that says I am. Then there’s the nausea and I’ve been…really sleepy. Those are signs, I think.”

He joined her one the bed, moving carefully, as though she’d suddenly become delicate. “I….” One hand stretched out, paused at her belly, then pressed against her. “It never occurred to me that I could ever be a father.” The delight grew bright in his eyes again. “This pleases me.”

She’d been half afraid he’d be upset. “You don’t mind?”

“Should I?”

“It’s the end of the world, Cas.”

He was slow to reply and all he said was, “Yeah. Is it?”

“What do you mean, is it? Look outside. Lucifer’s having one helluva shindig out there, unless I’ve imagined all of that.”

“That’s not what I mean.” He laid down on his side, urging her to lie back as well. Jo laid on her back, head turned to face him. His hand slid under her shirt to rest on her stomach, warm and comforting. “Haven’t you noticed there have been no pregnancies for a year or more?”

“No, I didn’t. It wasn’t something I thought about.” He was right though. She couldn’t recall seeing any pregnant women or even babies in a very long time.

“We’ve kept track. The last pregnant woman we saw was fifteen months ago and the last live birth was before that. That’s a long time, Jo.”

“Maybe people were being careful.”

“What, like we were?”

She looked away, cheeks warming. Jo took his hand in hers.

“Accidents still happen and there weren’t any, not that we observed, not until…now. Why? Why us? Why now? Is it the end of everything?”

She twined her fingers with his. “I don’t know. I don’t have that answer and I don’t know that reading anything into this is a good idea. I mean, it’s not like I’m a Winchester, Cas. I’m me, I’m Jo Harvelle. Daughter of Bill and Ellen. I grew up in a _bar_. I was conning hunters out of their money in poker and video games by the time I was fourteen and fending them off by sixteen. While I clean up nice, I’m not what some would call a classy dame. Believe me Cas, I’m not of cosmic importance.”

“Why couldn’t you be? You’re important to me. Why couldn’t you be important to heaven in some way as well? Besides, would you call Dean even at his best ‘classy’?”

“Dean classy?” She laughed. “Um…no, not the word I’d use. He can fake class when he has to, but it’s not him.”

“And yet heaven pinned all their hopes on him.”

She studied him a moment, seeing hope grow in his eyes. “Let’s say you’re right. This baby means something to the world, to heaven. What’s that something? It’s a part of you, a part of me. What else is there?”

“Destiny.”

Loosing her hand from his, she reached up to touch his face, cupping his cheek. “Let’s not pin some super-special destiny on our baby before it’s even born, okay? I’m still trying to get used to the idea of pushing it out in a few months. Destiny is another matter.” She pressed her lips to his in a soft kiss. “I can’t think of worldwide ramifications right now. I’m going to assume some women out there somewhere are also in varying stages of pregnancy and treat this like the average pregnancy. Can we do that, please?”

“Of course.”

Instead of continuing in that vein, he told her how pleased he was and when the dinner hour arrived, they brought a meal back to his cabin and celebrated alone.

~~~~~~~~~~

__

I’d like that hamburger medium-well, please.

Castiel couldn’t miss the smugness in Jimmy’s voice as they stood in line with Jo for dinner. _Fine. You were right. I’ll get you one the next time we have the meat for burgers._

__

Of course I was. I did tell you I’d felt that before. And that she had that look.

I don’t understand. How did she get pregnant?

Jimmy snorted. _You never connected sex with babies? Geez, Castiel, that’s basic stuff._

I mean I never thought I could father one. He took a plate, indicated what he wanted, and smiled at Jo. She returned it. _A father. I’m going to be a father._

You can do everything else. Why not that too?

There’ve been no pregnant women, Jimmy. Not anywhere that we’ve seen and not for months. Jo shouldn’t be pregnant at all. The same conversation he and Jo had had.

Jimmy was quiet a moment. _Maybe this signals an end to that? Change in how things are?_

It’s the end.

You and I both have our doubts at this point and now Jo might too. I don’t know, Castiel. Maybe heaven changed it’s mind about letting humanity get snuffed out forever. Right now? I don’t give a damn. Jo’s pregnant and I want to celebrate. We are celebrating, right?

__

Of course we’re celebrating. They reached the bottleneck at the condiments section and stood off to the side with their trays. Castiel set his down while they waited and wrapped an arm about Jo, holding her against him, his hand on her stomach, fingers splayed. He decided he was even happier than Jimmy about Jo’s pregnancy. A baby was a special thing he’d never thought he’d ever have a part in creating, yet here he was. He planned to experience every part of the process to the best of his abilities.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Something’s up.” Vanessa nudged Kylie so hard in the ribs that it hurt.

Kylie glanced up from her plate, turning her attention to where Van was pointing and rubbing the offended spot. Vanessa had the boniest elbows she’d ever felt jab her ribs. All she saw were Jo and Castiel in line, smiling and making goo-goo eyes at each other, like they did all the time. “Nothing’s up. They look like they always do.”

She was sorry she’d pushed Van into thinking Jo wouldn’t last, because he was all Van talked about. Day-in, day-out it was ‘Cas this’ and ‘Cas that’, when he hadn’t so much as talked to any of them since he’d told them he wouldn’t see them anymore. Even the most obtuse girl had to realize he wasn’t going to come back to her.

“No, look.”

Kylie groaned. “I’m looking. What am I seeing?”

“He’s got his hand on her stomach.”

“He usually has his hands all over her. What else is new?”

“No, look at how he’s standing. It’s all protective.”

Kylie rolled her eyes, but took another look. She was right. Castiel had his arm about Jo’s waist, his hand resting on her stomach, and an almost proud expression on his face. He looked excited about something, too, like he had news he was dying to share with people. Come to think of it, Jo had that look too. While she had to admit it was different, she didn’t see anything unusual about it. “So what if it is?”

“It’s just weird, Ky. Cas isn’t protective like that. He’s cool and calm and there’s never strings.”

There were now. Jo was the only woman who existed for him. Heaven help the person who got in his way with her.

Kylie looked back down at her plate. She wondered if Jay would like some company. He had the watch point over along the lake side of the perimeter and while she knew he was good about doing whatever duty he’d been assigned, sometimes he’d let her stay and would talk to her if she didn’t distract him too much.

It was better to be out there, than with Vanessa, who spent all of her time trying to dissect how Jo Harvelle had managed to catch the uncatchable Castiel. 

~~~~~~~~~

Dean wasn’t a fast reader, but he did work his way through the binder in steady chunks, evading Risa’s questions on what it was by simply saying it was something Chuck was working on. It took him three days to go through one binder with steady reading breaks and he had to admit the story _was_ compelling. Some of the events portrayed on the pages Dean had completely forgotten about.

He skipped over the middle binder, deciding to go back to it, and asked for the in-progress one.

“Maybe not a good idea,” Chuck countered.

“Why not? Rate I’m reading, I’d be up to it in a week anyway.”

“Jo would be embarrassed to know you know some of those things.”

“So I won’t tell her.”

“Lotta sex, Dean. Unedited and perhaps not my best work --”

“Give it. Don’t make me punch you and grab it.”

Chuck held it out. “Please don’t let on some of it to her, okay? She’s feeling very vulnerable where she and Cas are at in their relationship and --”

“You got sympathy PMS with her or something?”

“She’s pregnant, Dean, remember?”

He shrugged. “Sympathy pregnancy hormonal emotional things then.”

“She and Cas had this long talk and they’re trying out not doing the whole playacting thing….” He cleared his throat. “You don’t know about that.”

“No, I know about that. Cas told me.”

“Weird. I didn’t see that conversation. Must not be important.”

“Right. Like all the sex is important? Maybe you haven’t seen it yet.”

“Could be, but I’d think…. Wait. Did you ask Cas something about group action and four girlfriends?”

Dean thought back. “Could be.”

“Because I finished a scene earlier like that, but was in a bit of an alcoholic haze when I got done, so maybe I do have that conversation.”

“This is seriously creeping me out.”

“I know. If it makes you feel any better, it’s not as creepy as it’s going to get.”

“I’m comforted. Really.” Dean was far from comforted.

After a moment, Chuck reached out and grabbed the middle binder, holding it out as well. “Take this, too. In case you have questions about things that happened before.”

He took it as well. “That should keep me busy awhile.”

“Whatever you do, don’t let Risa read it, okay?”

“What happens if she does?”

Chuck frowned. “I haven’t seen it, but I’m sure nothing good. She’s scary when she’s _not_ angry, I’d hate to be really on her bad side.”

Dean would be the first to admit that Risa could be something of a spitfire. “I’ll try to keep her from looking at them. Anything else?”

Chuck paused, then glanced at the door. “Things are going to get weird soon. Very soon.”

He smiled and shrugged. “Hey…. When aren’t they weird, right? Weird is normal for us.”

Dean didn’t know just how right Chuck was.


	9. Chapter 9

The first notebook was all about the time up to Dean and Risa’s wedding. The second, as far as he could tell from a glance at the first few pages, a few pages in the center, and the last few pages, dealt mostly with Jo and Ellen. Dean was curious what had happened to them and waffled a moment over skipping it to go on to the current binder. It’d be easy to go back to it, he decided. The current one then, took up from the wedding and wove Jo and her group into the events leading up to Cas bringing them into the camp. 

As he read through the current notebook, Dean was relieved to discover Chuck had been exaggerating. Like the first notebook, the stories within held very few sex scenes. While there were the occasional graphic ones, for the most part, each were fade to black scenes that left the impression that a passionate time had been had by the parties involved.

He sympathized with Jo’s feelings of inadequacy as she led her people, fully understood her choice to play things close to her chest, and thought Chuck did a wonderful job of conveying her relief at seeing Castiel waiting at the rest stop. Dean knew what the weight of leadership felt like and had for a very long time. Some days, the weight was so terrible he wanted to run away, curl into a ball, and forget it all. He persevered through those feelings. There were people who depended on him and people he depended on himself. Dean had Castiel and Risa, and he’d once had Bobby as well as his support system. He didn’t know what he would have done without them. They kept him going, kept him sane, and when things became too much for him, they were there for him.

They were family just as much as Sam had been. In a world gone mad, they were a dear blessing to him, especially Risa.

Reading Risa’s feelings about things he’d said and done, and her jealousy of Castiel, made him feel like he understood her a little better in areas he hadn’t understood her. He hadn’t known just how deep her jealousy of Cas had gone. Maybe he should have realized how hurt she was whenever he told Castiel things, but wouldn’t tell her. He hadn’t meant to hurt her. All he’d wanted to do was protect her from all of the crap he’d gone through. She didn’t need more cluttering up an already crappy world, but apparently he was wrong. She needed to know those things. 

It was eye-opening to read it all the way Chuck had written it. Most people didn’t have the luxury of knowing how others really felt and he decided to take what he read and use it to understand those people better.

But then he came upon Jo and Castiel.

__

‘She was surprised by how relieved she felt by his acceptance and then immediately ashamed by it as well. She didn’t want to admit even to herself that she wanted him to take control of the situation; to take her objections and set them aside; to make it okay for her to have casual sex with him. She wanted him to remove the responsibility from her. After years of keeping a tight reign on herself by necessity, it was difficult to let go even when she wanted to.’

Keep reading or no?

Dean shifted in his chair, glancing across the cabin at Risa. She was mending one of his shirts, head bent to the task, her hair loose about her shoulders. He’d known he was going to come to a scene like this. Cas had already told him. Glancing back at the page, Dean read a little more, flipping the page. Uncomfortable, he flipped another page, then another, until he reached the end of the chapter and saw that the new chapter had no sex on the first page at all. Once, he might have read the descriptions of Jo, but Chuck was right. Best to leave Jo and Cas some privacy.

The chapters detailed events right up to the present. Dean wondered why Chuck had said things were going to get weird, because there wasn’t anything in the notebook after Jo’s decision to talk to him in the office. He didn’t know what their conversation would be like or what weird meant.

Closing the binder, he pondered all he’d learned.

“Done?”

“Huh?” He turned his head and looked at Risa. She was finished with the shirt, putting away the needle and thread, and laying the shirt on the end of the bed.

“Chuck’s writing, Dean. You done reading? You’ve been engrossed in it for days. He any good?”

She was looking interested. Not a good sign. Dean attempted to dissuade her from thinking she might want to read any of it with a hearty disparaging of Chuck’s talent that he was sure Chuck would understand under the circumstances. “No, not really. It, uh, needs a lot of polish. It’s pretty amateurish actually. I’ve written better which isn’t saying much for his work, but he’s a friend so….”

“Oh. What kind of story is it?”

“He went for action with a little horror and some romance.” A slightly accurate accounting of what the pages contained.

“And he’s not good at any of that?”

“Not especially.” He set the binder down, shoved it a little under the chair.

“It’s nice of you to read it.”

“Sometimes I can be nice.”

She smiled and came over to him. “I’m going to get some lunch. You joining me today?”

“I’d like nothing more.” Taking her hand, he let her tug him up. Before she could move away, he drew her against him. “Hey. You know I love you, right?”

“I love you too.”

“I mean, I say it enough, show you enough?”

Risa slid her hands up his arms to wrap her arms about his neck. “Is something wrong, Dean?”

“No, I’ve been thinking. I know I haven’t been the most emotionally available guy sometimes, or the most forthcoming with real details on my past, but this here between us is good. I want to make sure it stays that way, so I’m sorry about Cas and how --”

She shook her head. “No, it’s okay. I’m okay with Castiel. We had a long talk one morning and we’re fine. I doubt I’ll be best buddies with him, but we understand each other. He cleared up a few things for me.”

Cas and Jo had both cleared up things for her. Chuck had written those conversations. Risa knew some details now and it didn’t hurt him as much as he’d thought it would for her to know them. Someday soon he was going to sit down with her and tell her everything she wanted to know, nothing held back.

Just because Chuck hadn’t written it, didn’t mean it didn’t happen. Like this conversation. It wasn’t one in the pages of the book. It was good to know that Chuck didn’t necessarily see everything.

~~~~~~~~~~

In the darkness of his cabin, the curtains closed and the slightly dented lamp giving off low light, Chuck reached beneath his bed and pulled out a fourth notebook that contained the pages he’d removed from the one Dean had found. He took it to his table and sat down with pen in hand, taking out the sheets on the very top and laying them down.

“Yes, I took them out the binder he wanted, just like you said to,” he whispered into the still air, head cocked a little. “I’m calm now. I know, I shouldn’t have panicked, but….” Nodding, he replied, “Yes, he took the second one, too.”

Chuck listened, then reached out and scratched out a full paragraph of dialogue. He chuckled a little. “That’s Dean for you. Always changing the script.” He laughed a little more. “He _is_ the poster boy for free will.”

His free hand raised, rubbed at his temple, where a low throbbing had begun. The voice inside his head quieted and the scenes began to flow. Chuck bent over the paper. 

Like he’d told Dean, weird was coming and it was coming fast.

~~~~~~~~~~

The bookshelves in supplies were a wonderful mix of genres. Castiel had found romances shoved next to westerns and hard science fiction, and textbooks mixed with graphic novels. He searched the shelves now, slowly walking back and forth, reading the titles, looking for one he remembered having seen months earlier.

“You looking for something, Cas?”

Turning his head, he found Chuck watching him. He pointed a finger at the shelves. “Medical textbook?”

“We have one of those?”

“We did. I need it.”

“You need it.”

As he returned his attention to the shelves, he saw Kylie sitting on the floor at the end, a stack of paperbacks beside her. She appeared riveted by the story of the one she had open, her eyes wide and lips parted. “Yes, I need it.”

“Why?” Chuck approached the shelves and began looking as well.

“I want to look up fetus development. Jo said medical texts sometimes have color plates and I wish to see what our child looks like.” He glanced at Chuck. “Why are you staring?”

“The baby is like the size of a kidney bean or something right now, Cas. There’s nothing to see.”

He felt deflated by the news and a little sad. “Oh.”

Chuck stepped closer. “But it’s going to grow bigger.”

“Obviously.” Castiel rolled his eyes. He knew that much.

“No, I mean babies grow pretty fast inside. It’ll be the size of your fist before you know it and then bigger until it’s…baby sized.”

“You know about babies?”

He shook his head, turning away and walking to the end of the shelves, voice raising as he stepped over Kylie’s books and leaned over, stretching to reach behind the table. “No, I don’t know a thing about babies, but here’s one of those baby books for Jo.” He pulled out a book that had a very pregnant woman on the cover. “It talks about the whole process, tells what to expect. She should read it.” Crouching down, he ran a finger along the titles on the lower shelf. “Here. Try this one.”

Castiel took both books, opening the textbook and glancing at the table of contents for the illustrations. A slow smile tugged his lips. “Week by week illustrations and some ultrasound pictures.” Cas turned to the page, smile widening. He touched the illustration with a finger. “Look. Fingers. Earlobes.” He glanced at Chuck and back at the page. “The baby has fingers and earlobes, Chuck.”

Chuck peered at the pages. “I see that. You should take that with you.”

Nodding, he turned to go, book still open in his hands, and noticed Kylie hurrying from the cabin, her stack of books still on the floor.

~~~~~~~~~~

The opportunity to tell Dean came within the week. Jo found herself alone in the office cabin with him. Several times she started to say something, stopping each time and reevaluating how she’d planned to tell him. It was important to Jo that Dean was happy for them.

“Spit it out, Jo,” he said crossing his arms on the table edge and looking over at her. “Quite hemming and hawing and say what you’re trying to.”

She leaned against the table. “I’m pregnant.”

His reaction wasn’t quite what she’d thought it would be. Dean blinked a few times, then sat back. “You okay with it?” There was no surprise in his eyes. Surely Castiel hadn’t already told him? She’d asked him not to.

“I am. Which is strange, because the thought of being pregnant always seemed rather scary to me before.” Ellen probably hadn’t helped. She’d made pregnancy sound horrible, recounting stories she’d heard and indicating to Jo that her birth hadn’t exactly been easy. It wasn’t the pregnancy itself that scared her now.

“Is Cas okay with it? I’m assuming you told him already, right?”

“I told him. I told him the day I knew I was right. He’s beyond happy. Keeps saying he never thought he’d ever be a father and is looking forward to it. He found a medical textbook over in supplies on the bookshelves and has been looking at those color illustrations of baby development like they’re fascinating. He keeps saying things like ‘next week, the baby will have toes’.”

Dean smiled. He could picture Castiel saying that, too, complete with solemn, too-serious expression. A sudden thought hit him. If Jo was pregnant, did that mean it was possible that Risa could conceive too? He didn’t think it had been possible, but now he had hopes he’d not had to that end. “To him they _are_ fascinating. If he’s excited by it, that’s great, Jo.” Stretching out a hand, he snagged one of the pads of paper on the table and a pen. He clicked the pen open. “Let’s make some plans. I know we’ve got awhile yet, but it might take that long to get ready for the birth. Got an idea of what we’ll need for you?”

Coming to the table, she sat in one of the chairs. “No, not really. Aside from the obvious basics like hot water, soap, painkiller, blankets, and the baby things, I’ve no idea what’s needed.”

“You’re a girl.” 

He said it like being a girl meant she’d know the details and Jo stared at him. “Like that means I automatically know the ins and outs of childbirth. All I know is it hurts, it’s gross, and hopefully the baby comes out healthy and I won’t die from it.”

“Okay. That’s about all I know about it. What do you _think_ we’ll need?”

She thought a moment, trying to remember those things she’d come up with earlier. “Um…we’ll need someone to read up on procedure and deliver the baby. Sterile scissors for the cord. Bandages and first aid supplies for a worst case scenario. Blankets, bottles, painkiller. Lots of painkiller, because I’m not doing natural birth.”

“You might have to.”

“No. Not going to happen.”

“Jo.” He set the pen down and crossed his arms on the table again.

“No, Dean. I can handle a lot of pain, but pain there? No. I want drugs, so we need to start finding them now.”

“And if we don’t find any? You planning on keeping the kid in there?” She didn’t answer him and he scooted the pen around in a circle with one finger. “We’ll do our best, you know that.”

“I know.” Leaning back in the chair, she put a hand on her stomach. “I’m just scared, you know? The months leading up to the birth don’t scare me, but the birth and everything after? Holy hell, Dean. I’m _pregnant_.”

“Yeah, you are.”

Getting up, Jo snatched one of the maps from the stacks and opened it up. She changed the subject and though Dean resisted the segue, she persisted until he followed her conversational lead.

~~~~~~~~~~

Risa picked up the binder and stared at it. She’d been tripping over it for days now. Dean had said he was going to give it back to Chuck and promptly forgotten to do that. She hefted it. It was half filled with pages. Sighing, she debated opening it and reading. During their marriage, she’d seen Dean hunker down with a book before, but not with the concentration he gave Chuck’s writing. It made her wonder what was on those pages that he’d hole up during meals and eat alone just to keep reading. It had to be something fascinating.

Tapping the cover with one finger, she bit her lower lip.

While she was curious about Chuck’s writing, despite Dean’s attempts to convey how awful it was, it wouldn’t be right to simply read it. Chuck had given it to Dean to read, not her.

She slid her fingers along the edge of the binder, grasping it between thumb and forefinger. It’d be so easy to sneak a peek. No one would know. It wouldn’t be hurting anyone to read a little.

There was a knock on the door and she smiled to herself, tucking the binder in the crook of her arm. Stupid. Risa shook her head. She’d just take it to Chuck herself and forget about her stupid impulse to read it without his permission. Risa opened the door, surprised to see Chuck there. “Chuck. I was just coming to find you.”

“Risa, hi. Find me? Why?” He gulped and she’d swear she saw fear in his eyes.

“Well, this is yours, right?” She held out the binder. “Dean’s left it on the floor for days, claiming he’s going to get it back to you and if it’s yours --”

“Did you read it,” he asked, voice filled with dread that she didn’t quite understand.

“No. Do you want me to?”

“No!” He snatched it from her. “I mean, I’d rather you didn’t. None of it’s really polished and I only wanted Dean’s opinion on the…the plot…direction….” He shrugged. “You didn’t read any of it?”

“Not one page,” she told him, crossing her arms and leaning against the doorjamb. He had the strangest relieved expression on his face. “Surely it wouldn’t be the end of the world if I had, excuse the choice of expression.”

“Not the end, no, I just…. It makes me uncomfortable for most people to read my work these days.”

“These days?” She tilted her head a fraction, eyes narrowing. “Chuck, did you have a bad experience with trying to get published or something? I’ve heard it can be brutal.”

“Something like that. A very bad experience.” He held up the binder. “Thank you, Risa, for not reading it and for giving it back to me. I’m surprised. Most people would have read it.”

“I’m not most people.”

He hugged the binder to his chest. “No, you’re not.”

She watched him go, then shook her head. What a strange man he was. 

~~~~~~~~~~

When Castiel set his mind upon a course of action, he began immediate maneuvers to implement that course. He’d made up his mind that he wanted Jo closer. Overnights weren’t enough for him anymore. He wanted her there every day, all day, and assumed she wanted him in a similar way. She never behaved differently.

“I want you to move in here with me,” he told her, then repeated it when she stared at him blankly.

“What? Why?”

“Because we’re having a baby,” he said slowly. Wasn’t it obvious? He’d thought it was obvious. “Because I want to have you all to myself every day. Because I enjoy your company. Shall I list more reasons?”

“I have a cabin.”

“Mine is bigger, and I want to experience the baby with you.”

“Why?” He heard a trace of nervousness in her voice.

Castiel crossed his arms. This wasn’t going the way he’d thought it would. He’d thought she’d agree and that would be that. He’d assumed they’d spend the afternoon finding places to put her things alongside his, an action he’d looked forward to doing with her. “How often will I father a child? This could be my only experience with it and I’d like to go through every part of the process with you.”

Her brows rose. “Oh.”

“Oh. That’s your answer? Wonderful. That’s really fantastic, Jo. The father of your child wants to be there with you through every part of it and you say ‘oh’.”

“There’s no need to be snippy. I’m not trying to hurt your feelings, Cas, I just don’t see why I need to move in when I have a perfectly good cabin.”

“How else will I experience the little things unless I’m there with you?”

“So it’s all about you?”

He refrained from rolling his eyes. Was she actively trying to start a fight? “That came out wrong. No, it’s not all about me. I meant that there are benefits for you here. A bigger bed with more room to stretch out. A bathroom. The benefits of a close bathroom should be apparent to you already. Not to mention the fact that if I’m not staying over in your cabin, you’re staying over here. Wouldn’t it be easier to be both in one place? No dash to get clean clothes in the morning or deciding which cabin to stay at.”

“I need to think about it.”

“Am I dreaming this all? Jo, what’s to think about?”

“It’s a big step, Castiel.”

“It’s one I want to take with you and having a baby isn’t a big step?” Was that panic in her eyes? “I don’t understand.” He hated how helpless those words sounded when he said them.

“Think about it. Moving in means we see each other every day, all day.”

Which they did already. Why was she being difficult? He didn’t see that it was such a big step from where they were currently at in their relationship. “Your point?”

“It means sharing drawers.” She glanced around. “Okay, sharing trunks, and a bathroom, and…and…”

“We do that already.”

Now she crossed her arms. “I can’t move in with you, not officially and not all the time.”

“Why?”

“Because.” Discomfort was heavy upon her face and posture.

“Because isn’t a reason. Tell me. I think I deserve to hear your reason.”

“Because I can’t live with a man I’m not married to, okay?” She looked all around the cabin, everywhere except at him, like the admission embarrassed her. 

The pronouncement stunned him and the first words he could think of, and actually said, were probably not the best ones. “That has to be one of the most messed up things I’ve heard come out of your mouth and I’ve heard a few in the past couple months. You’ll have sex with me, but living together is wrong?”

Jo’s discomfort slipped into anger and she glared at him. “I do have some morals! They might not make sense, but they’re there and my mother made it very clear to me that living with a man was wrong. It’s wrong, it’s bad, it’s not the thing to do. She’d kick my ass if I ever did it and she found out about it. I wouldn’t put it past her to come back from the _dead_ to kick my ass if I move in here.”

“You’re afraid of your dead mother.”

“You met her. She had a scary steak a mile wide. Two miles. Hell, even Dean was afraid of her.”

“You need therapy for that.”

“Gee, thanks. Stone, meet glass house. Like you’re not just as messed up as I am.”

“I don’t have a problem with living with you.”

“I can’t live with you.”

“Fine.” He shrugged. “Then I’ll marry you today. We’ll do that now and have you moved in by dinner.” Castiel said it with impatience, but he didn’t mean it lightly. He understood the significance humans put on the ceremony, whether it was a religious one or one simply of vows to each other, probably more than the humans understood it themselves. He was willing to take vows with her. Why wouldn’t he be?

She laughed and shook her head. “You don’t want to marry me, Cas, you just want me living here so you can selfishly experience this pregnancy.”

Did Risa make Dean this mad sometimes? He knew she once had, but did she still? He could feel the anger inside him. It was a fascinating thing to feel the blood rush in his veins, his heartbeat quickening, and the urge to yell rising. Cas didn’t often give in to anger if he could help it and he squelched the anger now. Becoming mad at her would do no good. Still, his voice came out tight and raw with emotion. “What’s wrong with wanting to be with you? I don’t particularly care if we’re married or not, because that ceremony doesn’t mean the same thing to me as it does most humans. I want to be with you, Jo. Today, tomorrow, every day. If it takes marrying you to do that, then how is that not wanting to marry you?”

“It’s not,” she insisted. “You don’t understand. Marriage is a commitment.”

“I’m committed, in case you hadn’t noticed, and marriage is a human thing. Angels don’t marry.”

“I know you’re committed. As far as marriage goes, you’re not an angel anymore Cas. You haven’t been one in a very long time now. Marriage, it’s a ‘death do we part’ commitment. You don’t make it unless you’re willing to do that and work to keeping the relationship going. You don’t go around getting married unless you’re serious.”

“How am I not committed to that extent? How am I not serious? Can you give me an example of how I’m not committed?” This was going to be a circular argument, he saw. The more he insisted he was committed, the more she would insist he wasn’t. Round and round they’d go unless he could stop it by going to what he thought was the true heart of it. “Or maybe the real issue isn’t me, but you.”

“Me?” She took a step back.

“Yes, you. I think the real issue here is you, not me. You’re scared to take that step, to live here with me, and you’re trying to make it less scary in your mind, only this time it’s not working. See before, with sex, I could just overrule you in play and make it okay in your mind to do the very act you wanted to do. It was enough to help you get over your fear and make you face it. This time though, the options, both living here and marriage, are way too scary for you.” 

“I’m not scared,” Jo insisted. Vulnerability was growing in her eyes.

He rested his hands on his hips. “What do you want here, Jo? Do you want to live here with me?”

Her lips parted, no sound emerging.

“Because I think you do. I think you want to, just like you wanted to have sex, and it scares you, so you latched on to Ellen’s threat in an attempt to make it okay. The problem emerged then when my willingness to marry you frightened you as badly as simply moving in. How am I doing? Am I warm? Hot? Smoking?”

Stepping to her, he leaned down to look her directly in the eyes, so close their lips nearly touched as he spoke. “You’re scared to death. You’ve hit a responsibility plateau and the only way to get off it is to jump one way or the other. I can’t help you with this one, Jo. I can’t decide it for you. I can’t help you play your way through it. It’s your decision and yours alone. You go think about it and let me know which one will sit right and will make you feel better in your mind.” He stood tall once more.

She looked like she was going to cry and he steeled himself for it, knowing that if she started crying, he’d cave. He’d agree to help her and they’d get nowhere. Castiel turned his back to her, pretending to leaf through the baby book again. A moment later, he heard the sound of her footsteps as she ran from the cabin.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jo Harvelle was tons of stubborn. Rick didn’t bother pretending he wasn’t able to hear the argument coming from Castiel’s cabin. The two were shouting at each other. The only reason they weren’t garnering a crowd for their argument was that they’d timed it for the lunch hour. Most people were at the dining hall. He frowned while he caned the chair he had propped up, watching Jo flee the cabin and run to her own.

She wasn’t seeing what was in front of her, whether out of fear or that stubbornness she had an abundance of. Probably both.

Not that he advocated butting into other people’s lives. He didn’t. Jo was different, though. She was one of the few people he’d grown to give a damn about. He’d had enough time with her and Ellen to see how Ellen handled her and to learn a few things on his own about what took the wind from Jo’s sails when she was in a full out snit over something.

Rick made a few plans of his own and by the time he was done with the chair, he knew exactly what he was going to do about Jo’s stubbornness.

~~~~~~~~~~

The points that Castiel had made were good ones. Jo sat on her bed with her arms about her bent knees and thought about everything that had been said. She hated to admit that he was right. She _was_ messed up and she _was_ a regular ball of fear these days. Fear of giving birth, fear of living with him. 

I’m nutty as a fruitcake, she told herself. Most women would kill to have a guy behave like he is and what do I do? I run away.

What she’d told him had been true. Ellen had sworn she’d rise from the dead if necessary and kick her ass if Jo ever lived with a man without being married to him. She wasn’t entirely sure it wouldn’t happen. She’d seen stranger things and Ellen Harvelle had seemed to know everything. Jo still didn’t know how Ellen had known some things.

But it wasn’t likely Jo would get her butt kicked by a ghost. Her mother was dead and had shown no sign of having hung around. She wasn’t coming back and Jo moving her things into Castiel’s cabin shouldn’t be a big deal. She already spent most of her time there, anyway. Or he spent the hours she wasn’t there here with her.

“What do I want,” she whispered.

She wanted to be with him. Only him. She wanted him to have this experience with her, that same thing he wanted, and while she wasn’t sure she wanted a marriage like Dean and Risa had, she thought she could handle a few words spoken just between herself and Castiel.

Jo let out a disgusted snort. “Cas is right and I’m being stupid.”

The door to her cabin jerked open, Rick strolling inside like she wasn’t even there. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing,” she demanded, pointing a finger at the door. “Not your cabin, Rick! Get out!”

He surveyed the room with a frown. “Right here, I think,” he muttered, motioning to the only long wall that was free of furniture, and opening the door. “Bring it on in, guys. It’s going to be a tight fit, but I think we can do it.”

Jo sat with mouth open as he had a table and a crib brought in. Where did he find a crib? “Rick.” She moved up onto her knees. “What are you doing?”

“Making a point that sorely needs made.” 

“And that would be what? How much it’s possible to cram into one of these cabins?”

“Something like that.” He waited until the men left, then crossed his arms. “One, you don’t have room here for yourself and a baby.”

“Geez, Rick! Women have raised babies in tents or less.”

“Because they needed to, not because some of them especially wanted to. You don’t need to.”

“You’re a know-it-all jerk.”

“I’m a know-it-all jerk who had a wife and two kids once. I’ll admit you probably could do it in this cabin. You’re a stubborn woman and you’d do it to prove me and others wrong, but why do it at all? Point two, you’ve got a man in this camp who loves you and wants to step up and take responsibility. He wants to accept the consequences, Jo. _Wants_ to. Do you have any idea how rare that is? He wants you there, to go through it all with you, and you’re nuts to refuse. Either that or you’re too damn stubborn to see what’s both good for you and right in front of your pretty little nose.” He put a hand on the crib rail. “Think good and long before you tell him no.”

“I wasn’t telling him no, Rick.”

“Sure sounded that way to me, waffling over moving in and marrying him. Were you listening to yourself, Jo? To him? He’d marry you this afternoon, right now if you told him that’s what you want and don’t give me any crap about him not understanding the commitment. I think he understands it better than you do.”

She actually couldn’t argue that one. “He does, I know.”

“You know.”

“Yes. Could you please leave? You’ve had your say, not that it’s any of your concern what Cas and I do or don’t do.”

Rick moved to the door and stopped, looking back at her. “Look, Jo, I care about you. I want you happy and watching you with him…. You’re the happiest I’ve ever seen you. In times like these, we need to hold on all the tighter to those moments and those people who make those moments with us.” 

She watched him leave. In a way, this display he’d made was sweet. Annoying, but sweet.

The cabin was absurdly packed with the addition of the table and crib. When Jo stood, she could take two steps and be at the crib or the table and she couldn’t reach the pegs on the wall at all. Moving to the door, she turned and stared at the room. After a moment, she reached for her bag and began putting her clothes into it, not letting herself dwell on the fact that she’d made her decision. If she thought about it, she’d keep thinking and she’d never do it. 

They’d come back later for the rest of her things. There weren’t many to come back for.

Her stomach churned as she lifted the bag up, putting the strap onto her shoulder. Peering outside her door, she noted no one in the immediate vicinity and slipped from the cabin. She’d prefer it if no one witnessed her nervous short trek to Castiel’s cabin or her frightened hesitation right outside on his porch.

There’s nothing to be scared of, she told herself. I love him.

Jo only stopped three times before taking a deep breath and practically barreling through the beads that made up his door. Castiel was on the couch, a book in hand. When he saw her, he turned down the page, closed the book and set it aside. She dropped her bag to the floor and shoved her hands in her jacket pockets, balling them into fists.

“You have no idea how hard my heart is beating right now,” she told him. Her knees felt weak and the fists in her pockets shook.

He stood, moving to her, his hands grasping her arms and sliding down them to work her hands from her pockets. Jo let him take her hands in his and twine their fingers. “Probably as hard as mine was beating when I said I wanted you to move in. Out of control --”

“Racing --”

“So fast and hard that it feels --”

“Like it’s going to explode.”

Leaning down, he kissed her, a brief caress. “You decided.”

“I did.”

He cocked a brow. “Still scary?”

“I feel like I’m going to pass out.” Or throw up. Or both. Maybe not in that order.

“Deep breaths, not shallow ones.” He breathed with her, several long, slow breathes, then squeezed her hands. “There you go. What did you decide?”

Jo swallowed, hoping to wet her suddenly dry mouth. It didn’t work. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” she blurted out, “whether that’s a week, a hundred weeks or decades.”

One hand loosed from hers and raised, his fingers stroking across her brow and down the side of her face. His gaze probed hers. Slowly, he blinked. “Are you making a vow to me?”

“Yes. Only you, until death parts us.”

Pleasure and joy lit his eyes. “I _will_ spend the rest of my life with you, until death parts us. Nothing is going to come between us.”

This time, it was Jo who kissed _him_.

~~~~~~~~~~

Claire Novak hadn’t expected to live long after her mother died, not with a demon after her, but she’d lucked into meeting a group of people that had helped her and ultimately destroyed the demon. Then all Claire had to worry about, for the most part, were the human menaces. The group had helped her learn how to survive and it had been over protests that Claire had left them.

She’d had a quest to fulfill, a task she’d put herself upon and staying with them hadn’t brought her close to fulfilling it. 

She made her way down one dusty road and let herself enjoy the scenery as she walked. It wasn’t often she let herself relax enough to look at the scenery. Relaxing was dangerous, but she liked this area. It was blessedly free of the constant threat of Croats. Refreshingly free. She could easily grow to like this area, hoping she would be able to rest here awhile. It would be nice to have rest.

__

Keep going, Claire. You’re nearly there. A little while longer of walking.

The voice had been with her since she’d left the group, protecting her from all manner of evil. She’d been able to avoid Croats, scavengers, soldiers and the various supernatural beings on the loose.

Claire missed her mother. She missed her father. 

And she was desperate to finally end her search for the angel Castiel.


	10. Chapter 10

While Zachariah complained about certain angels, mostly Castiel and Anna, misusing their angelic will to their own ends, what he was really upset about was that they didn’t use it the way he wanted them to.

Michael found that amusing. It was okay to exercise angelic will, but only if it helped Zachariah. He laughed to himself, garnering a few odd looks from others as he walked to his meeting with Raphael and Gabriel. After reviewing the facts and finding little to laugh about, it felt good to see amusement in something. The things he’d seen on earth had left him a little depressed.

Dean Winchester _had_ called out to him. He’d spent the good part of a week screaming himself hoarse and another week drunk when Michael hadn’t answered. This meant that Dean was going to be even more hard-hearted than he’d been. Michael had to assume that Dean was going to be belligerent and angry when he finally approached him. He was going to approach him. Michael had to.

Not to mention Lucifer’s tantrums were tearing the earth apart. At the rate things were progressing, there wasn’t going to be much left for survivors if they didn’t contain him soon, which was their goal. Containment. He would be dutiful. He’d approach Dean, contain Lucifer, and save the earth because he’d been told to. He’d care because he was supposed to. He would be obedient and maybe, as had been suggested, he might learn something about himself and humans in the process.

Michael conceded that there was the possibility he had things left to learn.

He considered all he’d been authorized to do and stepped into the room, hiding the three of them from the others. Only the three of them were to know the plan of action he’d created. Once he’d explained, Raphael frowned.

“Why does Gabriel get to retrieve the keys? I am every bit as capable to perform that task.”

“Would you be willing to steal from Dean Winchester? He has one key in his possession.”

“Yes.” No hesitation and even a little glee in the tone.

Michael supposed Raphael was still sore from Dean and Castiel trapping him in the Holy Fire. He didn’t forgive things like that easily. He remained angry to this day about a prank Gabriel had pulled before he’d disappeared. “I see. Would you be willing to trick the Horsemen for the remaining keys?”

Now there was hesitation. Not many would consider messing with the Horsemen. “No.”

“Then my decision stands. Gabriel has the…tricky touch needed.” Not to mention he was either stupid enough or brave enough to attempt it.

“You mean he’s a pick-pocket and a cheat.”

“Stop with the compliments already. I’ll blush. Jealousy doesn’t become you.” Gabriel smirked and Raphael rolled his eyes.

Michael half expected Gabriel to stick his tongue out. It wouldn’t be the first time.

Raphael stared at Michael. “Why not simply deal with Zachariah now and be done with him? Why wait? Why must I follow him about heaven and earth?”

An explosive snort left Gabriel and he sat forward. “Because self-important dicks deserve their comeuppance. He made a play to run heaven, Raphael. Can you comprehend what that means, or are you still stuck on our Father’s return? Not saying you’re slow, Rafe, but you don’t seem to be too quick on the uptake since we all came home. Holy fire burn some of the smarts out of you?”

“I should strike you.”

“Then do it already.”

Raphael didn’t move.

After a moment of exchanged glares, through which Michael waited patiently, Gabriel sat back. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. You wanted to know why I left, Mike? This is it, this right here. The ‘tude. The high and mighty bullshit and pointless fights. We’re talking about ending the Apocalypse, Raphael, without ending the world. Zach’s a part of that. Do you really think he doesn’t have something else up his sleeve? He’s a smarmy, sneaky kiss-ass and if we pay attention, he’ll hang himself with his hubris and we won’t have to deal with him directly.”

Michael’s thoughts exactly. Sometimes he and Gabriel did agree. It was rare, but it did happen. After watching Zachariah, he agreed with Gabriel’s assessment of his current character. He recalled Zachariah before the throne, lying to God and thinking he was getting away with it. Zachariah thought he was going to skirt judgment and come out on top. He shook his head a little. How twisted Zachariah had become! He remembered centuries ago how loyal and obedient Zachariah had been. He’d been a valued ally then. But he was different now, as many were. All of them had changed in some way, himself included.

I should have realized our wait would not be endless. I of all should have known that and held them all together. I failed in that duty.

He sat forward. “The gist of it. Watch him, Raphael. Tell me the second he does what I expect. The timing here is tricky and crucial. We’re all three of us juggling glass balls that can’t be dropped. One falls, it all ends for good. For all of us.”

It wasn’t a motivation tactic. It had been made very clear to him that if they failed to clean up the mess they’d made, creation would be done and the time for leniency and mercy gone. If they failed, God would let the battle to contain Lucifer become the final battle and all would be judged, even the heavens.

Some would tell him to just let it come. Michael couldn’t do that. They’d all forgotten something crucial, even he. Paradise came only after judgment. Everything would be judged and while a little mutiny didn’t seem so bad now, the Lake of Fire wouldn’t be a nice place to hang out for the end of all time. Michael didn’t think any of them were ready for final judgment.

“Are we agreed? United?”

Raphael glanced away, then back. “You command, I follow, brother. I will do the job you put before me, whether I agree with it or not.”

“Gabriel?”

He crossed his arms. “You really think this is winnable, Mike?”

“Does it matter to you? You alone among the three of us are genuine in your care for the humans. You’ll work for their good no matter if there’s a chance of winning or not. You actually like them.”

“You do know me. Okay, I’m in. I’ll work my magic, steal the keys, and take care of that other tiny project.”

“Be ready when I call. If you’re not --”

“I know. Down go the glass balls and it’s bye-bye-bye.”

The little extra task he was giving to Gabriel wasn’t much in the scheme of things, but it could be of importance if Zachariah did what he expected. He didn’t quite trust Raphael to it, hence the reason it fell to Gabriel. Gabriel would handle Castiel without blowing him up.

~~~~~~~~~~

When Kylie had overheard Castiel talking to Chuck about Jo being pregnant, she almost hadn’t believed it. The thing that had made her realize the truth of it was Cas himself, standing there with a goofy look on his face while he studied the page in the medical text. It was true. Jo was pregnant.

He was ecstatic. She could see the joy and wonder on his face. The slow smile, the gentle tap of his finger on the page. This was not a man who didn’t want the baby. This was a man who couldn’t think of anything better than for his girlfriend to have their baby.

She’d hurried from the cabin and debated how long she should wait to tell Vanessa. If she told her immediately, maybe Van would stop talking about when Cas was going to leave Jo and come back to her. Kylie was heartily sick of hearing about it. On the other hand, maybe Cas and Jo didn’t want it common knowledge yet and telling Van would make it common knowledge.

Kylie really didn’t want to make Cas mad. She still kind of liked him.

So she waited and lurked around Dean and Risa, eavesdropping in an attempt to ascertain whether or not Jo and Castiel had told them. Kylie assumed they _would_ tell them. The four were like best friends, always spending evenings together or eating meals together. She heard little jokes between Dean and Risa, watched them sneak kisses and the occasional caress when they thought no one was looking, and only had to wait a few days before she heard Dean bring it up to Risa.

He told her with his arms around her, breaking it to her gently, like she was delicate and this news would shatter her.

To Kylie’s surprise and discomfort, Risa began to cry. Risa didn’t cry. She wasn’t the crying type. Rather, she was the type to make _others_ cry. She’d never seen Risa break down at all and yet she was crying at the news that Jo was pregnant, great huge, sorrowful sobs, clinging to Dean as though she couldn’t support her own weight. It was quickly apparent, as Dean continued to talk to her and comfort her, that Risa had been trying to get pregnant with no success. Kylie swallowed hard and thought that maybe eavesdropping wasn’t such a good idea after all. This was a private moment. They had no idea she was even there. She shouldn’t be hearing any of this.

“It’s not fair,” Risa said, coughing a little.

“I know.”

“We’ve been trying for --” She buried her face in his neck.

“It’s okay, Risa.” He tightened his arms around her, one hand stroking her back. “This is good news.”

“Good news,” was her muffled scornful reply.

“Yes, good news. Think about it. Jo’s pregnant. When was the last time we saw a pregnancy? If Jo is pregnant, I think it means it’s possible again. I think we have a chance now, when we didn’t before.”

Kylie frowned, not quite sure what he was talking about. Did he mean that no woman at all had been getting pregnant? Anywhere? But that was, like, bizarre.

Risa drew back. “You’re not just saying that?”

“No.” Dean shook his head. “I think something’s changed, something cosmic. I don’t know what, but can’t you feel it? The air feels different. There’s almost a stillness, a sense of waiting.”

“The eye of the hurricane.”

“No, not still like that. Still like…. Damn it, I can’t explain it! I just…I _feel_ it. Some of the things I know, they don’t point to the end of everything. Not anymore. I think we’ve got a fighting chance. So, this is a good thing, a happy thing.”

Risa raised her hands, wiping the tears from her eyes and cheeks. “So we keep trying and I swallow my jealousy and be happy for Jo and Castiel.”

“Hey,” he slid his hands to her hips, “it’ll happen. Just might take awhile. Truthfully, I’m having a helluva lot of fun practicing. I’m fine with a little more time before we start our own kid.”

“You’re not saying that to make me feel better?”

“No ma’am. In fact, I think we could use a lot more practice. What’s say we go have some together time?”

Kylie waited until they were out of sight before hurrying away. Since Dean and Risa knew, it was probably okay to tell Vanessa. She’d break it to her quickly, like a bandage being ripped off. No sense in drawing it out. Quick and fast, that was the ticket. Then, Van wouldn’t have a chance to be all dramatic about it. There’d be less wailing and moaning in the end.

It suddenly occurred to her that Castiel had used the same approach and likely for the same reason. Maybe he hadn’t been such a jerk that day after all.

~~~~~~~~~~

“How did you do it,” a voice demanded.

Jo looked over her shoulder and paused in putting a load of clothes into the dryer. One of Castiel’s former girlfriends stood in the doorway. What was her name? Vanessa, Jo remembered. Her name was Vanessa. “Do what?”

Vanessa came in and set her laundry basket down on the central table. She opened one washer, then raked her gaze along Jo. “Get pregnant.”

The news had been all over camp. She thought everyone must know by now. “I was hardly trying. It just happened. I didn’t mean to get pregnant.”

She laughed, disbelief in the sound and the words she spoke. “Right. I’d been trying for months with no luck. Not one missed period. Not even one late period.”

“Why were you trying to get pregnant?” Jo returned to transferring clothes into the dryer and when she was done, she turned to study the younger woman. Why would Vanessa want to get pregnant?

The expression on Vanessa’s face was an almost comical mix of confusion, outrage, and pure incredulity. “You’re kidding me. You have to be. Cas is a catch, Jo. He’s the guy that couldn’t be caught, but you’re actually doing it. You’re catching him.”

Catching him. Hmm. Probably not a good idea to say anything about the vows they’d made to each other the day she’d moved in. That word ‘catching’ was actually past tense now. Caught. She’d caught him. While they’d shared that other news with Dean and Risa, too, it wasn’t something they wanted the entire camp to know. At least not yet. Their vows had been private, just the way Jo had wanted it. “I thought the uncatchable catch was Dean.”

She waved a hand in a dismissive gesture. “Hardly. Risa hooked him in no time. It’s Cas who’s the difficult one. I’ve never seen him with one woman and I’ve been here two years.” She stepped close, gaze curious. “So how did you do it? And so quickly? I stopped taking my pills like a month after I got with him and…nothing.”

“You stopped taking your birth control pills.” Jo crossed her arms and rested her hip against the machine. Manipulative much?

“Duh.”

“Did Cas know that?” Jo was willing to bet that he hadn’t had any idea what Vanessa was up to. There were still the occasional behavioral things he didn’t understand.

“No!” Vanessa rolled her eyes. “That’s not how it works, Jo. You don’t tell the guy you’re trying to get pregnant, you just do it. You know that. You have to, because you did it. Did you do some kind of, like, spell or something? I mean, you had to get knocked up like the first night you got with him.”

“I didn’t trap Cas, Vanessa. That’s dishonest and mean. I wasn’t trying to get pregnant. It happened. There’s no secret to it, no spell. It was an accident. That’s all.”

“That can’t be all.”

Why wouldn’t she let it be? “It is all.”

“Bullshit. Why won’t you tell me? I think you owe me that much after stealing him from me.”

Stealing him from her? Jo’s brows rose. If Vanessa thought for one second that anyone, anyone human that was, could make Castiel do anything he didn’t very well want to do, then she didn’t know him very well. She’d hardly stolen him. Jo seriously considered decking the girl and was actually balling one hand into a fist in preparation when the door slammed.

Risa stood there. Jo wondered how much she’d overheard. She didn’t have long to wonder about it. Risa came forward with her own basket and set it down.

“Give it a rest, Vanessa. We’re all sick of listening to you and your whining. I’m sure Jo’s pregnancy happened the usual way: the timing was just right. Face it, sweetheart, you and Cas weren’t meant to procreate together.” She waved a hand. “Move along now.”

“I have laundry going.”

Risa peered at the washer, stepping between Jo and Vanessa. “Really? Looks to me like you haven’t even started it yet. Scram.”

“You can’t order me around,” Vanessa protested, though Jo noticed she picked up her basket and took a few steps back, like she was afraid Risa might throw her bodily from the laundry room.

Risa crossed her arms. “Can’t I?”

Vanessa hurried from the building and once she was gone, Risa smiled.

“That’s more like it.” She took the washer Vanessa had abandoned, dropping clothes into it. “I can’t stand that girl.”

“She’s not a favorite of mine, either.” Jo reached for the dry clothes she’d piled on the table and began to fold them. “Thanks, by the way. I was starting to lose my temper.”

“You’re welcome.” When the washer was filled and the cycle had started, Risa came to the table and leaned against it. “I really am happy for you, you know.”

Jo set the shirts she’d folded into the basket. Risa’s initial congratulations had been cool, but Dean had explained the reason later. It had to feel like a slap that Jo could get pregnant by accident while Risa was having trouble while actively pursuing that goal. She nodded, not sure what to say.

“Dean pointed out a few things I hadn’t considered, too, like maybe I’m putting pressure on myself and hindering it. It’s only been a few months, six now total. That’s not a long time, is it?”

“Not long at all.”

“He did tell you why I was weird the other day, right?” Risa leaned over. “Jo, would you look at me, please?”

She turned her head. “Yeah, he told me and I get it. I understand it’s hard for you.”

“I’ll try not to be a bitch about it. I just…. When Dean asked me if I’d be willing to have a baby, I wanted right then to have one in my arms. I imagined a lifetime of memories that we probably wouldn’t ever have with the lights going out and I couldn’t think of anything I wanted more than to have a baby with him.” Her smile was wistful and sad. “And you, I suspect, weren’t even thinking about babies.”

“Only to the extent that I wanted birth control of some kind and didn’t particularly care what it was right then. The jelly stuff? Doesn’t work, by the way. Not reliable. For future reference.”

“Oh.” Her brows rose, amusement in her eyes. “I’ll remember that.”

The conversation turned to lighter subjects and when their laundry was done, they walked out together.

~~~~~~~~~~

Chuck was rubbing his temples again. Dean watched him out of the corner of his eye. This was becoming a regular sight and most of the time Chuck stayed in his cabin out of sight, claiming to any who asked that he was having plain migraines.

“You okay there, Chuck?” He set the clipboard aside.

“No, not really. I….” Chuck swallowed hard. “Dean, there’s a girl --”

The radio by Dean’s hand squawked. “Dean, there’s a girl --”

“Walking down the middle of the road right to us. Blond, teenager --” Chuck said in unison with the guard, then broke off with a hiss, holding his head in his hands and panting.

“Who is she, Chuck?” Dean stepped forward, grasping Chuck’s arm, but Chuck pulled away.

“Don’t let Cas see her,” he gasped, squeezing his eyes shut. “Not until you can think of how to tell him --” He shook his head. “Pen, paper, quick! It’s coming too fast! I have to get it out!”

He found both items, thrusting them into Chuck’s hands. Chuck dropped into a chair, scribbling furiously on the paper, his writing almost illegible, speaking as he wrote.

“She walked up to the west gate and guards with a calm confidence she didn’t feel. Her insides trembled. Anything could happen and she knew it. She’d already had many narrow escapes in her quest to find Castiel. Looking at the two men, she said, ‘I’d like to see Castiel, please. It’s important.’ She was polite. After all, manners were important even if it was the end of the entire world. Her parents hadn’t raised a manner-less child.”

“Who is she?” Dean repeated the question, but when Chuck didn’t answer, continuing to write and mutter, he grabbed the radio and left the cabin, running towards the gate. It was all the way across the camp.

The radio squawked again. “Rate she’s walking, she’ll be here in ten minutes or less.”

“Keep an eye on her,” he replied. It might take him ten minutes to get there. “Let her in, but bring her to me if I’m not there already. No detours. She wants to stop, you tell her no. She has to get through me before she gets anywhere else.”

“Let her _in_?”

“Test her first, like we do anyone who just walks up. Oh, and you see Cas coming? Take her the opposite direction.”

He barreled along the path. There were people everywhere today, all of them directly in his way. “Make a hole,” he yelled, knocking down a few people who didn’t move fast enough. He’d apologize to them later, but right now, he had to get to that gate.

~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel had no real direction in mind when he’d left his cabin to take a walk. He simply wanted the exercise.

It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?

Yeah, Jimmy, it’s a beautiful day.

Jimmy was in a good mood, chatting as they walked on the path that led around to the west gate. Castiel smiled and glanced up at the sky. While much cooler now, the sun was out at least. He slid his hands into his pockets and walked. As they neared the gate, he could hear voices.

“I’m not a demon. These precautions are ridiculous. I crossed the salt line and drank the holy water.” It was a girl speaking, a younger voice, teenaged maybe.

“Sorry, Miss. I’ve got orders.”

“Okay, okay. Just…can I see him soon?”

“You’ll see Dean first. Then I’m sure he’ll take you see Castiel.”

Cas paused, then pushed forward a bit faster. Why would a girl want to see him? Who was she? He came into the clearing and saw Dean at the far end of the path running towards them. He was yelling something, but Cas couldn’t quite make out what. He supposed Dean would repeat it when he got there. The guards had a girl by the table set there, her bag open. One of them was looking through it. The other was doing that drill Dean insisted on.

She turned her head and rounded the guard, coming to him. “Problem solved, guys. He’s right here. No need to go through Dean.”

Jimmy’s shock reverberated throughout their body like the sounding of a gong and all Castiel could do was stare at the teenage girl before him. She stared right back, a tentative smile upon her lips. There was no mistaking who she was.

“Claire,” he managed through stiff lips.

She nodded, hugging herself tight, looking very much like she wanted to throw herself against him.

He glanced behind her and through the gate she’d entered. “Where’s your mother?”

Pain flickered in her blue eyes. “My mother died in 2011. The angel that was supposed to be guarding us left and she paid for it when a demon calling herself Meg came after us. She tortured us, convinced we knew where you were. She said she had to find you, that it was her new mission.”

“You escaped her.”

“I did. My mother, she gave her life to give me time, and then I…I found a group of people, or they found me, and when Meg came after me, they killed her. They protected me. Now I’m here. I’ve been looking all over for you.”

Jimmy’s anguish made his throat tight. Cas could barely draw in a breath. He heard Jimmy babbling, words strung together that made no sense, and wondered on how quickly their life had been turned upside down.

They’d thought Amelia and Claire were already dead, but to find Claire alive? Fresh waves of grief for Amelia swept him from Jimmy. He’d come to terms with them gone, one reason he hadn’t objected to Castiel’s girlfriends to begin with. And he’d been happy about Jo’s pregnancy.

But Claire was alive.

She…complicated things.

He blinked. “They killed her. The group you were with.”

“Yes. Well, one of them did. The rest kept me safe.”

But hadn’t Jo said she’d killed Meg? Did that mean…? Yes. Jo had protected Claire without even knowing who she was. She didn’t know, did she? Wouldn’t she have said something if she had?

Jimmy’s babbling increased and all he could do was stand and stare at Claire while the strong waves of Jimmy’s emotions rolled over him.

~~~~~~~~~

“What’s going on?”

Chuck turned to look behind him. Jo and Risa approached, both holding laundry baskets of folded laundry. It was Jo who’d spoken. “An unexpected surprise,” he told them. “Jo, you’re needed. For Cas…and for Claire.”

“Claire?” She set the basket on one of the picnic tables the guards used.

“Claire Novak.”

Surprise rippled across her features and then she was moving forward into the group of people.

“This is where things get really interesting.” He crossed his arms. As quickly as the vision had come to him, it had ended, leaving him free to follow Dean.

Risa glanced at him with a frown. “How so?”

“Well,” he leaned a little towards her. “Claire was part of Jo’s group a few months ago. She’s been looking for Castiel since her mother died.”

“Why?”

“Because Cas is the closest thing to a father she has left, or so she thinks.”

“Why would --”

“Her father is Castiel’s vessel.”

“If he was the vessel --”

“Is the vessel,” he corrected. “He is the vessel, Risa. Present tense.”

“Could you --”

“Let you finish a sentence? No. This is too exciting.” He pointed a finger at the group, shook it. “See, Claire thinks Cas is still an angel and Jo thinks Cas is human, but Dean and I both know what’s going to come out in just a minute. Cas is human, yes, but Jimmy is still in there.”

“Jimmy is --”

“Claire’s father and Cas’s vessel. Jimmy wakes up a lot these days and in a minute it’ll all be out. No more secret. Poof! Poor Jo. She’s going through a tough couple days, dealing with one thing and now this, but she’ll get through it. These rough patches are expected and it’s not the last one they’ll hit, believe me. There’s a big old shit storm coming.”

“How do you know all of this, Chuck?”

“I’m a prophet of the Lord,” he told her in a matter-of-fact tone. “I have visions and write them down. Visions of you, Dean, Jo, Cas, and pretty much all of the important things that happen. Even a few unimportant ones that give back story for later events. Sometimes I have to go back and fill in. The pieces aren’t always in sequence. You were supposed to read the binder by the way, and find all this out, but you and Dean…. You have no shortage of free will between you. I was expecting you to punch me in the face that day, but I’m glad you didn’t. I think it’s better talking to you like this, giving it to you straight.” He smiled and motioned again at the group. “Here it comes. Watch.”

The scene began to play out as he’d known it would. He knew Castiel’s anguish over the pain Jimmy felt, Claire’s rolling, churning emotions, and Jo’s confusion. He knew Dean’s desperation to keep them quiet, to keep it contained so Castiel’s secret wasn’t exposed to the entire camp. And he knew the surprise in himself of Risa’s quiet acceptance of what he’d told her. She accepted it and she watched and when Dean needed her there, she stepped forward to take charge of Claire.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Claire.” Jo moved forward, surprised and glad to see the girl. She touched her arm, getting her attention.

“Jo!”

She was hugged tightly. Jo hadn’t thought she’d ever see Claire again, not after Claire had left them. She’d tried to talk Claire out of leaving, insisting they could integrate her search into their wanderings. Claire had declined to stay with them. She’d never said what or who her search was for, only that it meant everything to her. Ellen’s death had strengthened Claire’s determination.

“Have you been by yourself this whole time?” It amazed her that Claire could have survived by herself for months.

“Sort of.” Claire drew back. She had a little bit of sunburn on her cheeks, but she looked healthy, like she’d been finding enough to eat and getting proper rest.

“Did you find what you were looking for?”

Claire cast a glance back at Castiel and Jo saw that he was upset for some reason. His brows were drawn together, his lips parted, and gaze full of emotion, his cheeks damp with tears. “Yeah.” Claire nodded. “I found him.” She half turned back to Castiel, one arm still around Jo. “I have so much to tell you, Jo. These past months --”

“I’ll bet. Nearly a year on your own? Sweetie, you’ve got luck and guts to still be alive.”

“I learned from the best. You and Ellen taught me everything I needed to know.”

Cas’s expression still hadn’t changed. Jo loosed herself from Claire’s grip and reached out to touch his arm. “Cas, are you okay?”

Something was wrong and when he spoke, Jo suddenly understood a few things she’d been puzzled about.

~~~~~~~~~~

Claire couldn’t believe Jo was here too. She couldn’t be more happy to find Castiel and Jo both in the same place. She wouldn’t be alive today if not for Jo. And for Ellen of course. She recalled the two of them rescuing her from the demon’s pursuit and Jo killing the demon after a dangerous struggle. But Ellen’s death had reminded Claire that she needed to find Castiel.

She knew he wasn’t her father. Jimmy Novak was covered over by the bright, hot force of that angel. Claire still remembered how that had felt from her short period hosting Castiel.

He was all she had though, so she was determined to be near him.

She was surprised to see tears on his cheeks. Angels didn’t cry. “Castiel?”

“Your news was harshly spoken, Claire,” he said in a voice far more emotional than she remembered. “You father grieves a second time for that loss.”

She let go of Jo fully, trying to understand what he was saying. “He can hear me?” It felt like the bottom of her stomach had just dropped up. She hadn’t thought he could hear her. She’d thought the force of Castiel’s presence kept him, well, _asleep_ for the most part, with everything that happened a blur.

“Everybody stop,” Dean yelled, holding up his hands. “Cas, don’t --”

“He’s awake at present. Of course he can hear you. I’m no longer an angel, Claire, but your father and I are still fused together. Two in one body. He hears you.”

She launched herself at him, hugging him as tightly as she could, not caring that it was Castiel she was hugging because her father was awake. He’d know she meant to hug him. He’d know she loved him and had missed him. She wanted to comfort him.

~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel’s confession to Claire startled Jo, as did the realization that Jimmy was Claire’s father. She hadn’t known anything about Jimmy save his first name. Neither Cas nor Dean had ever been terribly forthcoming about Jimmy or his status. She’d thought he was gone. Cas had never mentioned once that Jimmy was still there with him.

She dragged in a ragged breath. Jimmy was still there? He could hear? What else could he do? What had he seen? What did he know that she’d thought was between her and Castiel?

Jo watched Castiel embrace Claire in return, though she could see it was all Cas and not another. He looked over at her, gaze begging her to understand.

“Well that’s just great, Cas.” Dean lowered his hands. “Secret is out now. Your new nickname will henceforth be ‘freak’.”

“It’s okay, Dean.” He rested his cheek on top of Claire’s head.

“Yeah, we’ll see.”

“You didn’t tell me,” Jo said, feeling somewhat faint.

“I didn’t know how and the longer I waited, the more difficult it became. It’s…complicated.”

Mya’s comment when they’d first arrived about him feeling old and young at the same time now made perfect sense. As did his sometimes long pauses and strange expressions. Jimmy was conscious and he communicated with Cas.

Jo stepped back, away from Castiel and Claire. “We’ll get together when you’re settled, Claire. I….” She shook her head. “I need to think awhile.” She didn’t wait for Claire’s response or even Castiel’s, grabbing the laundry basket and hurrying away.

~~~~~~~~~

It took awhile to convince Claire that she needed food, a shower, and sleep before they talked. When she was safely in Dean and Risa’s care, he went looking for Jo. He finally found her on the swing set, sitting on one of the swings, staring at the ground. He supposed they were finally going to have that talk he’d been putting off.

You think, Jimmy drawled. He’d calmed down from Claire’s appearance.

Jo didn’t look at him when he joined her and Castiel waited, swaying his swing a little. Finally, she set her swing into motion, swaying like he was.

“You didn’t tell me, Cas.”

“I know. I should have. I apologize.”

“Was any of that to make her feel better or does he really listen and look?”

He stopped his swing and, after watching her, braved the chain to stop her swing, garnering bruised fingers in the process. “Jo, stop. It’s not how you think.”

“Isn’t it? You’re two…what?…people? Two in one body? I’d like to feel confident that when we’re together it’s just you and me.”

How honest should he be with her on this?

Honesty if the best policy in a relationship, Castiel.

Don’t help me, Jimmy, okay?

Just sayin’.

Jimmy.

Tell her the truth now and she’ll only be upset once instead of multiple times.

Jo squinted at him, jaw squaring. “He’s talking to you right now, isn’t he?”

She’s good. Say something.

He blinked. “He is. He says honesty is best.”

“Generally, yeah, it is.”

“The more time you and I spent together, the more Jimmy liked you too.” He put his hands on her knees. “Jimmy has feelings for you like I do.”

“I don’t know Jimmy. I didn’t even know he was there.”

Don’t I know it. I’m the silent partner.

“He’s aware of that and I don’t always know when he’s awake.”

“So that makes it okay?”

“I can’t change it. There’s nothing at all I can do about it.”

“He saw me naked,” she protested.

“Yes.”

“Repeatedly.”

“Yes.”

To be fair, she saw **me** naked and there was nothing I could do about it either. So if she’d going to feel all violated, then I think I have a right to feel the same about her looking at me. Tell her that.

Castiel relayed Jimmy’s words and was surprised to see Jo taken aback, turning away as though she’d been slapped, her glance searching the woods before looking back at him.

Her tongue pressed her cheek out for a few seconds. “He has a point.”

You didn’t have to look, Jimmy. It was in your ability not to, he reminded him.

Jimmy snorted. _Don’t tell her that part._

I thought honesty was best.

Not on that. Not if you want this to end well for either of us.

“Can I talk to him?” She covered his hands with hers.

“Yes. Go ahead.”

“I’m sorry, Jimmy. I wasn’t aware you were there.” Her teeth grazed her lower lip. “This feels weird.”

Castiel relayed Jimmy’s responses as he gave them. “I know. It’s not entirely Castiel’s fault he didn’t tell you about me.”

“Honestly, I don’t know how to feel about you being part of Cas.”

“I love you, same as he does. We agree on that. I never thought I’d love anyone after Amelia or even have the chance to love again.”

“How can you love me, Jimmy?”

“How can I not? Look, Jo, I know it’s Castiel you love and him you want. I’ve tried to back off and leave you both alone, but I have to live too. There’s only so far I can retreat. I can’t control anything except when I’m awake and when I’m asleep. I could be awake when Castiel’s asleep, but that’s amazingly dull, so I chose to align myself with his waking and sleeping patterns for maximum life in a bad situation.”

She glanced away. “Could you sleep when we go to bed or are otherwise…occupied?”

“I could.” _If I absolutely have to_ , Jimmy added to Castiel. _But how will she even know?_

Jimmy.

What? I’d still like to have sex occasionally, Castiel, and she’ll never know I’m awake. For that matter, neither would you.

“Would you,” Jo asked. “Please?”

“Could you accept the situation as it has to be if I did?”

She licked her lips, then nodded. “Yes.”

“Are you sure? Because it’d be a bad thing if you said you could and you can’t.”

“I can. I will.”

“Will you…. Will you talk to me sometimes? Me, I mean, not Castiel. I’d like to have conversations with someone other than him. Not that he’s not a scintillating conversationalist, it’s just somewhat…boring in the long run.”

“I could do that. If Cas agrees.”

How could he begrudge Jimmy that?

“I’m sure Claire would like to talk to you, too. I think you’ll be proud of her, Jimmy. She’s quite a girl.”

“I thought she was dead.”

Jo’s expression softened. “She’s a tough kid, a good kid. Mom and I trained her as best we could when she was with us and…I took care of her. She reminded me a little of me when I was that age.”

“Thank you, Jo.”

“There’s nothing to thank me for. Claire’s a survivor.”

Jimmy was crying. Castiel cleared his throat and ducked his head. “I believe that’s enough talking for the moment. Jimmy is emotional.”

“Understandable. He just learned his daughter is alive and well and,” there was a slight twinkle of amusement in her eyes, the barest glimpse, “he came out.”

He turned his head a fraction and narrowed his eyes, not fully understanding her immediately. Why was she amused? “Came out?”

Her brows rose and she waited. “He was a secret and now he’s not. He came out.”

Her meaning registered and he coughed. “Oh. I get it. Funny, Jo. Very funny.”

“Sorry. It was a bad, stupid joke.” She sighed. “I’ll do my best not to be weird about this, but it might take some time. You’ve been living with it for years. I might need a few days.”

“You have them.”

“Good. Thank you.” Jo removed her hands from his and crossed her arms. “Now, is there anything else you want to tell me? Any other,” she shrugged, “secrets floating around that I should know about?”

He thought a moment. There was Chuck being a prophet and the fact that he was busy writing their future as it happened. Was that a secret she needed to know? Was it absolutely necessary that Jo know about Chuck’s heavenly duties? Probably not. In fact, Chuck would most likely prefer she didn’t know. He shook his head. “No. No more secrets.”

“Cas.”

“None.”

“You’re sure? Because you’ve got that evading a question look on your face.”

“I have an evading a question look?” News to him.

“You do and there’s another secret isn’t there?”

He cleared his throat. “Yes, but --”

“Cas!”

“It’s not about me.” He held up his hands. “It’s someone else’s secret and I doubt it’s one you need to know.”

“Are you sure this time?”

He considered everything Chuck’s secret encompassed and while he wasn’t sure, he nodded. “I am.”

Castiel hoped that wouldn’t come back and bite him in the ass.


	11. Chapter 11

In Dean’s opinion, Castiel was spectacularly unconcerned that his secret was out and was going to likely be all over camp in a few hours. Cas continued to hold Claire, his attention in the direction Jo had headed, a regretful turn to his brow. Dean didn’t think the regret was from the secret being out, but rather that Jo had found out before he was ready to tell her. Castiel touched one hand to the back of Claire’s head, then began the process of loosing her from him. She was clingy, not willing to release him.

“Claire, you need food, a shower, and rest. You’ve had a long journey.” Cas patted one of her shoulders. “You need to let go of me and attend to those matters.”

“I’m fine. Really.” She turned her head, cheek against his chest. Her hands grasped his jacket. “I don’t need any of those things.”

“We’ll talk later, after you’ve properly rested.” Discomfort rippled across his face as he tried to pry her fingers free. “Claire, please.”

Off to one side, with Risa, was Chuck. Dean wondered why he wasn’t off nursing a migraine. He’d certainly seemed to have the start of one, yet here he was, standing watching like it was prime time tv. Curious.

“I’m fine,” Claire insisted.

Castiel’s lips tightened into a thin line. “You may be fine, but I’m not. Your father and I need some time to process this.”

“I’m here, what’s to process?”

“You’re here. Exactly. That’s what must be processed.”

He imagined Castiel was thinking about all the ways Claire’s arrival changed his life. There would be issues with Jo and with the baby due to Claire that hadn’t been there. Would Claire accept Jo and the baby? Would that even matter to her? Dean suspected a lot was going to matter to Claire. Cas would have to work Claire into his life for Jimmy’s sake, see her daily, and the family he’d started with Jo was going to have the necessary addition of a teenage girl that wasn’t his or Jo’s. 

Risa moved forward to join them. She gave him an odd look. “We need to talk later.”

“Okay. What about?”

She shook her head, gaze turning to Castiel and Claire. “Later.”

Claire drew back a little. “Isn’t dad happy I’m here?” The gaze she turned up to Castiel was fearful, as though she was deeply afraid that he and Jimmy wouldn’t want her. “Is that what you mean?”

Perhaps this would be a good time to intervene. Dean stepped forward. “Whoa, I think we need to get you some food, Claire, and give Cas and your dad some time to talk between themselves. Food, a shower, and some sleep. You’re here, like you said, and you’re not going anywhere. You’ve plenty of time to get together and have a proper reunion.”

“But --”

“No.” He shook his head. “Right here is not the time for this. Of course your dad’s happy you’re here, but he and Cas both need to think about how your arrival changes a few things and how they’re going to accommodate those changes.”

She scowled at him, an expression strangely fierce on her pretty features. “How does it change things?”

Castiel finally managed to loose Claire and set her back from him with an obvious firm touch upon her shoulders. “I have things to tell you about my life and your father’s by extension, but they’re best told when we’re both rested and better prepared.” He glanced down at the ground, then back at Claire. “Your father loves you and is happy you’re here. He is. However…. Seeing you was a shock for both of us. _You_ have readied yourself for this day. _We_ thought you were dead. We need a few hours. Go with Risa and Dean. Have a meal, a shower, rest, and we’ll talk later.”

Her scowl dropped away as he spoke and Claire raised a hand, tucking her hair behind her ears. “Do you promise?”

“Yes, Claire. I promise.”

There was reluctance on her face as she stepped back beside Dean and Risa. “I’ll see you later then.”

“Tomorrow. Let’s plan on tomorrow. I’ll have breakfast with you and we can spend the day together. We’ll talk.”

She nodded.

Cas looked at Dean. “Will she be with you?” 

Dean could see Cas wanted to run after Jo, but that he needed to know Claire would be looked after first. Jimmy needed to know. He felt Risa’s hand grasp his and she spoke before he could even really think about the question. 

“Yes. She’ll stay with us until we can find a good fit for her in the cabins. You go.”

Dean squeezed Risa’s hand, nodding in agreement. They’d take good care of Claire. “Go on.” As for Jo, he hoped she wouldn’t be too upset; that she’d understand how hard it had been for Cas to talk to her about Jimmy and why he hadn’t.

Castiel started down the path. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Claire stood with Dean and his wife and watched Castiel walk away. She wanted nothing more than to grab hold of him and never let go. Her dad was there! She’d be able to talk to him and tell him everything that had happened. She’d tell him how her mom had tried to keep her safe and what had happened when Meg had found them. Then, she’d tell him about Ellen and Jo taking care of her. There was some logic in waiting until later for a reunion, however. Claire could see that. It’d give her a chance to smell better, for one. Showers were good and it’d been a long time since she’d had one. A real meal would be nice, too, and being able to sleep without having to hide herself first was a luxury. She’d meet him well rested, after a good night’s sleep. It was going to be good. It had to be.

Her excitement fell in a rush, leaving her strangely unsettled and restless, uncertain. What things did Castiel have to tell her? She was half afraid to know.

Castiel was headed in the direction Jo had gone. Despite her own emotions at finally finding Castiel, she hadn’t missed the byplay between him and Jo. The way Jo had said his name was the same way Claire remembered her mother saying her dad’s name. With loving familiarity. She turned to look at Dean and Risa. “Is he following Jo?”

“I think he and Jo have some things to talk about.” Dean exchanged a weighted glance with Risa.

“Why?”

Risa answered her. “Castiel and Jo are a couple, Claire.” She said it gently.

She blinked. Jo and Castiel? She was having trouble thinking of him as human. What about her dad? Where did he fit in if he was awake sometimes? Would he and Jo count as a couple, too? Or was he just there? “How does that work? My dad --”

“I bet Jo’s asking herself that question right now.” Dean reached out, taking Claire’s bag. “Let’s drop your bag at our cabin and head to the dining hall.” 

Claire followed Dean, walking beside Risa. As they walked, Risa told her about the camp. They were little things: when the camp had been formed, how many people were there, what they did during the day. As they passed a grouping of cabins, she saw Castiel hurrying from one and touched Risa’s arm, drawing her attention to him. “Is that where he lives?”

Glancing over, Risa nodded. “Yes. Castiel lives there.”

“Could I stay with him instead of you and Dean? I mean, my dad _is_ in there.” She didn’t expect to, but she was curious what they’d say.

Risa shook her head. “Oh, sweetie, no. I’m sure he wants to see you, Castiel and your dad both, but Jo’s living there with him. Couples sometimes --”

“Fight. They’re going to fight.”

“I suspect, yes.”

“She didn’t know about my dad, did she? He didn’t tell her.”

She didn’t answer.

Dean led them up a set of steps and opened the door to the cabin. “Here we go. Claire, this where Risa and I live. Bathroom is over there, you’ll sleep on the couch. It’s a comfortable couch. We’ve plenty of blankets and pillows.”

“You have a tv.” It wasn’t that she particularly wanted to watch it, just that she hadn’t thought anyone had much reception anymore.

“No channels, just plenty of DVDs.”

She could see they had DVDs. They had shelves full of them. Maybe she’d look at them later. Claire crossed her arms. “You mentioned food?”

“Right. Let’s do that.” Dean kissed Risa, asked if she was coming with them, but Risa declined to join them right away. She said she’d catch up after she put the laundry away. 

They headed to the dining hall. While Claire remembered what Dean looked like from the time they’d met before, she hadn’t remembered his name, nor had she known much about him. He’d simply been someone helping them. Him and his brother. She wondered what had happened to his brother. As they walked, she glanced at Dean, little glances out of the corner of her eye.

“You got a question, Claire?”

“No, I just…. I don’t remember you very well. I sort of remember you helping us, but not very clearly.”

He nodded. “It was an intense time for you. I’m not surprised. Maybe it’s best you don’t really remember. Something like that…it’s hard for anyone. And what came after? It’s okay you don’t remember me well. I don’t expect otherwise.”

The continued in silence and didn’t speak again until they were seated at a table.

~~~~~~~~~~

Claire ate like every teenager Dean had met. She went back for more three times. He sat with her, studying her. She’d grown into a pretty girl. It was surprising that she’d come through her journey by herself as well as she had. It was a hard world out there even for groups of people, let alone a single girl. She spoke as she ate, giving him a brief overview of her life since Meg. He learned that Jo had comforted Claire in her grief for her mother and let her cry on her shoulder whenever she needed someone to talk to. He discovered that Claire knew Rick and Mya as well and that Claire appeared to have formed an attachment to Jo in the months she’d been with the group.

Maybe her appearance wouldn’t upset Cas’s life too much. When Claire talked about Jo, it was with happiness. Jo was a woman she liked and trusted.

“You like Jo,” he asked.

Claire rolled her eyes. “She was never too busy to talk to me and she never talked down to me. Of course I like her. You know she taught me how to put on eye shadow? And do this smoky eye thing with liner and shadow. My mom wouldn’t let me wear make-up because I wasn’t old enough and she thought it might send the wrong sort of message to boys. By the time I was old enough by her standards….”

“It was Jo there to teach you.” He could see Jo taking a few minutes to teach Claire how to put on make-up, picture it in his head. It was a sweet picture. He imagined Jo smiling, laughing a little as she showed Claire what to do.

“Yeah. She sort of told me things my mom never did and Ellen did, too. Ellen sat me down and said a few things to me straight.” She took a drink of her water. “My mom would have told me those things. I’m not saying she wouldn’t have, just that she wasn’t there to do it so Jo and Ellen, Jo mostly, told me for her.”

“I’m sure your mom would have.”

“She would. I know. But I’m glad I had someone, you know? It’s bad when you don’t.” She took another long drink. “I didn’t think I’d ever see Jo again. When I left, man, she tried to talk me out of it! I had to find Castiel though. It didn’t occur to me that they’d come here too. Jo never said where we were going. At least not that I knew.”

“Sometimes leaders have those sort of decisions to make. Not everyone has to know certain things.”

She ate in silence a moment. “Jo was very nice to me then.”

“You still like her even though she’s with Cas? They’re sort of a package deal these days.” This was a key question, he thought. Would Claire become jealous of Jo?

Claire twirled her fork in her pasta. “I don’t know. I’ll have to spend time with her again.”

A careful answer, like she was suddenly uncomfortable with the conversational direction, and Dean let the conversation move on to other subjects. Around Claire’s second dessert, he asked, “I’ve been wondering, Claire, do you still remember it?” He was curious about her experience as Castiel’s vessel.

She looked up from her plate with a tiny frown, studying him. “It?”

“Being a vessel.”

“You mean Castiel.” A sigh left her. “It’s not something easily forgotten, Dean.”

“I didn’t think it was.”

“It was one of the best experiences of my life during the worst experience of my life. Well, one of the worst experiences. I felt cold, alone, scared, and Castiel came in and I wasn’t afraid anymore. I knew he’d do everything he could to take care of things. I felt warm, no longer alone, and when he left, I was…regretful. Weird, huh?”

“Regretful?” An odd word choice.

“I’d felt wrapped in peace and goodness. Who wouldn’t feel regretful to have that gone?”

A big difference from Jimmy’s experience. Was it different for children? “You didn’t mind at all?”

“It was certainly different, but…no. I didn’t mind. Castiel promised that if and when he left me, I’d be unchanged. He kept his promise. Maybe if I’d been his vessel longer it would have felt different, but for that short time, it was okay.”

Dean nodded sat back in his chair. “Okay. So, how did you find us, Claire? Tell me the truth.”

She seemed hesitant, shoving the plate away. “It’ll sound crazy.”

He smiled a little at her. “I’ve got the market cornered on crazy. Go ahead.”

“It was a voice.” She took a drink of her water. She was steadily working her way through that carafe in the middle of the table, drinking as though she was dying of thirst, glass after glass. “A voice guided me here, told me not to be afraid and that my journey was at an end. It said I’d find Castiel here and I did.”

He raised his glance to the ceiling. What are you guys up to up there, he thought. “A voice.”

“Yes.” She grinned. “See, I told you it’d sound crazy.”

“It’s no more crazy than angels and demons running around. Tell me about the voice. What’s it like?”

“Small and quiet, but big and booming at the same time. Sure. Strong. Whenever I had trouble, it told me what to do, what to say, where to go. It helped me.”

He wondered if Claire’s inner voice was similar to Chuck having visions and if she was going to begin manifesting prophetic visions anytime soon. “You ever see future events, like in dreams, maybe?”

Her gaze dropped and she shook her head. “I don’t dream, Dean. And when I do, I wish I didn’t.”

“I hear you on that one.” When he remembered his dreams, he usually wished he hadn’t.

“You have nightmares, too?” She seemed relieved, looking up at him with wide eyes.

“Yeah,” he assured her, “I have nightmares, too. And I have it on good authority that even Castiel has nightmares.”

“An angel… _ex_ -angel has nightmares?”

“Well, he has a lot more scary things to dream about considering his age and what he saw in the angel trenches.”

She nodded. “I suppose. What’s scary to an angel, Dean?”

He saw Risa come in and motioned for her to join them. “Not being one, Claire. That’s what scares an angel. Losing that identity, the powers, all of it. Believe me, Cas knows what fear is and he does dream, so I guarantee you he has nightmares. A nightmare within the nightmare.”

“His came true. He’s not one anymore.” There was a spark of sadness in her eyes. “His nightmare became his reality.”

“Yes, it did.”

And yet out of his nightmare, he’d woven something good. He’d changed it into something that no longer frightened. Or if it frightened, it wasn’t as terrible and all-encompassing as it was. It would be nice if they all could be so lucky.

~~~~~~~~~~

Risa waited until Claire was in the shower before she turned to Dean. It appalled her that Castiel had kept such a secret from Jo. He’d been honest with her about those four women, but kept a thing like Jimmy a secret? Had he been thinking about it or had it somehow slipped his mind? “Okay, we need to talk. What the hell was he thinking not telling Jo something like that?”

He shrugged, removing his jacket and hanging it up. “Don’t ask me. Sometimes the inner workings of Cas’s mind are a complete mystery to me. I don’t know why he does things he does.”

“Does he surface? Jimmy? Is he capable of control?”

Opening one trunk, he took out extra blankets and a spare pillow and brought them to her. “From what I understand, it’s more like he’s the occasional voice that pipes up. There, but not there, with little control over anything. Cas is the one in control.”

“Like a multiple personality disorder sort of thing.”

“Uh…sure. I guess.”

“He needs a slap upside the head. You don’t keep the fact that there’s another person in your body a secret.” Risa shook her head as the sheer absurdity of that statement hit her. “I have lots of words, but no words.” She worked on making a bed for Claire on the couch and when she was done, she faced him again. “And another thing….” Risa crossed her arms. “We have prophets now? When did this happen? Was there some management meeting I missed where it was decided we needed a prophet? Was there no vote, because I don’t think we absolutely need a prophet along _with_ an ex-angel. Isn’t that like overkill?”

“Prophet.”

“Chuck, Dean. I mean Chuck. He told me he’s a prophet and he writes everything down. He sort of emphasized that. Everything.”

“He came out and told you that?” Dean’s surprise was all over his face. His brows rose and he blinked several times, lips parting.

“So it’s true.”

“Well….”

“You weren’t reading his fiction, were you? You were reading his prophecies. What was on those pages?”

“You really want to know?” 

She was curious what Chuck had meant by ‘everything’. Did he really mean it, as in every little thing she did, like brush her teeth in the morning, or was it more of a general everything? “Hell, yes.”

“He wrote about us. Not just basic boy-meets-girl, but the deep, detailed boy and girl hate each other, get hot together and get it on, eventually getting married and dreaming of a family. He wrote about events in and out of camp, things that happened. He wrote about Jo and Ellen, too, and now her and Cas. It’s weird, I know. I was a little freaked out when I first met Chuck and continue to occasionally have a freak-out. Only reason I read it was to know what’s going on. Cross my heart.” He made that gesture on his chest.

“Details?” Her brows rose and she crossed her arms.

“Um…he knows all about that birthmark you have….”

Risa cleared her throat. “Oh.”

“And the French maid and naughty nurse and there are a few details.” He made a hand gesture that indicated with great clarity what those details were.

“I see. Who else knows?”

“You, me, and Chuck. It’s not like he can turn off the visions, Risa. They hit him pretty hard.”

“Castiel doesn’t know?” She certainly hoped he hadn’t read any of it.

“I don’t think so. He read some of the books from back when Chuck published them thinking they were just his imagination, but I don’t think he’s read any of the new stuff. I’ve threatened Chuck several times in the past about letting people besides me read any of it.” He came to her, hands grasping her waist. “You want to read it? I’ll get Chuck to relinquish them again.”

“No.” She smoothed his shirt. “I’d rather be blissfully ignorant of just how much of my life has been exposed. All the private moments, the petty thoughts, the _mean_ thoughts, the bits that show just what a wretched woman I truly am. I don’t want that kind of mirror in front of my face.”

“You’re a pretty hot character actually.”

“Am I now?” She put her arms around his neck.

“You’re a sassy wench.” He kissed her cheek. “A feisty vixen.” He dropped kisses along her face and neck as he continued. “A delicious temptress….”

Dean continued to whisper endearments into her ears until Claire emerged from the bathroom.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Cas?”

He got into bed and looked over at Jo. She was brushing her hair. Since talking earlier, she hadn’t appeared to feel strange about him and Jimmy. He worried it hadn’t really sunk in yet. “Yeah?”

“You do realize you’re not the only one who’s going to get questions about this, right?”

He adjusted the covers, then the pillows behind his back. “I’m aware of that. You, Dean, Risa --”

“Claire. People are going to ask Claire questions. Most people won’t understand the angel-vessel thing, or they’ll think it’s a delusion. Either way, it’s going to be assumed that you and Jimmy --”

“Are two personalities of one human.” Castiel ran a hand through his hair. “I know that too. Jimmy has tried to discuss that with me several times. We can’t choose what people think. If they believe that, they believe it.”

“You’re comfortable with that?”

“Those who matter know the truth.” He dropped his hand back down to his side, pushing the covers down a little, then reaching out and adjusting the pillows on her side of the bed.

She set her brush aside and came to the bed. “You’re nervous.”

“Is it obvious?”

“A little.” She climbed beneath the covers. “I’m supposed to be the nervous one, going to bed with two men.” Jo shrugged a brow at him, her lips curving in a seductive grin. “How risqué!”

“You’re really okay with this?”

The grin faded. “We keep going back and forth with those words. I’m okay, Cas. You’re okay. Jimmy’s okay. We’re all okay. He’s asleep, right?”

“He’s not making a peep.” He wasn’t either. He’d gone silent the second they’d walked into the cabin.

“Then we’re golden.” Jo moved against him, placing her head on his chest. “Tell me something about him and you, something you haven’t shared with Dean.”

There was really only one thing he could think of off the top of his head that fit her criteria. He’d never told Dean the full reason why he’d gone to see that doctor. He’d mentioned Jimmy, but he hadn’t told him the complete reason. Castiel told Jo though, lying in bed holding her.

“You know I have depression and that’s why I take the pills every morning. When Jimmy woke up and took stock of what was going on, he started yelling at me. Jimmy wouldn’t shut up until I made an appointment and went to the doctor. Imagine having a voice inside your head shouting at all hours that you’re a ‘dumbass who needs to admit he needs help’. A dumbass, Jo. He called a former angel of the Lord a dumbass.”

“He has a way with words.” She trailed her hand across his chest, fingers drawing little circles.

“When he gets going, yes. He informed me that depression is easily treatable, then played the ‘if you won’t do it for yourself, do it for me’ card. I couldn’t argue. I’d promised not to hurt him and I was. Just to be sure I’d go, however, he talked nonstop until I’d filled the prescription and begun taking the pills.” He stroked her hair with a hand. “We made a deal. I take the pills, he won’t yell.”

Jo raised up and shifted position so that she was on her knees facing him. “Sounds like he cares.”

“It _is_ his body. What affects me, affects him. I did have a very bad spell for months. I spent weeks at a time in a constant state of drunkenness. Bobby had my stomach pumped more than once, but neither he nor Dean could really say anything, since drinking was their choice coping method. I’d bring women to the room and not remember it. I was all set to be like Dean, but then all of my powers were gone and Jimmy started yelling. So really, I could say that Jimmy Novak saved me from myself.”

Jimmy’s voice had stabbed at his mind like the very worst of hangovers, giving him no peace. Castiel remembered that very clearly. If he was honest with himself, he’d admit that up until that point, he’d actually forgotten Jimmy was there.

Once he’d gotten sober and drugged up to normality, he’d begun planning the camp with Bobby and Dean to Dean’s refrain of ‘Damn Cas, it’s good to have you back’. 

“Then I’m glad he’s there.”

“You are?”

Jo smiled. “Without him, there’s a good chance I’d be without you. Path you were on doesn’t usually end well.” Leaning over, she pressed her lips to his. 

His fears that Jo wasn’t handling Jimmy being there well were obviously unfounded. She showed no hesitation in displaying her affections.

~~~~~~~~~~

Claire had been awake and waiting on Dean and Risa’s porch when he’d gone to get her. While the walk to the dining hall had been free of people, that turn didn’t last. Her arrival had been noted, rumors already flying, and people were curious. He attempted to keep a casual conversation going as they ate.

“How long were you with Jo and Ellen?”

“A long time.”

People were staring. It wasn’t a new thing for him, as he’d been stared at often, but it appeared to be making Claire uncomfortable. She kept ducking her head so that her hair slid down and hid her face.

Castiel sipped at his coffee.

__

People suck. Jimmy said. _Do something. They’re making her uncomfortable._

What would you like me to do, Jimmy? Throw them all out?

Yes.

I can’t do that.

“Is your omelet satisfactory,” he asked. “If not, I’ll get you something else.”

“It’s fine. How did you meet Jo?”

“The first time we met was through Dean, but we reconnected a couple months ago when she brought a group of fifteen in to us.”

“Uh-huh. How long have you been together?”

He smothered a smile. Her rapid-fire questions were straight to the point of what she wanted to know. “Since that day. Please eat, Claire. You’re father is worrying that you’ve learned improper nutrition by yourself.”

__

I never said that. You’re putting words in my mouth.

Technically, I do that everyday.

You know what I meant. Though she could use some fruit with that. Offer to get her a fruit cup or something.  


She looks healthy, Jimmy. I doubt one breakfast without fruit will kill her. Still, he obliged Jimmy, unsurprised when Claire turned down the offer.

She finished her food and slid the plate aside. “So if you’re seeing Jo and obviously _sleeping_ with her, what about my dad? Does that mean he’s seeing her and _sleeping_ with her too? Because you did say he’s awake, which means he can see and hear things.” Her gaze challenged him to answer.

__

She looks just like her mother right now. Amelia had that stare, too.

How would you like me to answer this, Jimmy?

Tell her about the vows.

You’re sure?

Yes. The vows first, then you can confirm the rest. She knows I thought they were both dead. It may upset her at first and probably will, but she needs to know so she can deal with it. Do this gently, Castiel. She needs to understand it’s not a casual arrangement we have with Jo. Stress that. There’s nothing casual about Jo.

He slid his cup aside and crossed his arms on the table, leaning over towards her. “Jo and I made vows to each other. We’re not simply sleeping together.”

“Vows?”

“Vows of commitment. We pledged ourselves to each other until death.”

She shifted in her chair. “You’re married.”

It could be put that way. “Yes.”

Some of the challenge faded from her eyes. “My dad’s okay with that?”

“He is. He likes Jo.”

“He’s okay with all of it?”

“Yes.”

__

Tell her I made the vow same as you did.

He relayed the words and watched the play of emotions cross her face. Surprise, shock, sadness. “It doesn’t mean he stopped loving your mother. He thought she was dead, grieved, and moved on.”

“Is he happy like this?”

“It’s not ideal, no, but he deals with the situation. We both do.”

“What about Jo? Does she deal? Because if I understand yesterday right, she didn’t even know about my dad.”

“Jo’s a very understanding woman.”

Claire snorted and rolled her eyes. “She’d have to be.”

“Claire.”

“It’s true.” She turned in her chair, crossing her legs and swinging one foot. Her lips pursed as she thought. “He made the same vow, which means….” Her eyes narrowed, expression smoothing out as though she wasn’t sure what to think about her conclusion. “Jo’s my step-mom?”

__

Yeah, there is that….

Jimmy? What’s she talking about?

Go with it. Tell her yes.

“Yes?”

__

Say it with firmness, Castiel.

He tried again. “Yes, she is.”

Claire frowned. “Oh.” After a moment, she looked at him, frown still in place. “Can I talk to my dad at all? I want to talk to him, not you.”

Her words were curt, but Castiel thought he understood. She wanted Jimmy’s own words on the subject.

__

She’s upset. We should go somewhere more private for this. Maybe back to the cabin and take something for Jo? She should be awake soon, right?

__

It’s probably not fair to spring Claire on her first thing, but I agree.

“Of course. We could go to my cabin for privacy. Jo’s there --”

“I know. Dean and Risa told me. That’s fine, let’s go.” She stood and began clearing her place.

Castiel drank the last of his coffee, took the cup to the dish room, grabbed a muffin for Jo, and motioned for Claire to precede him out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~ 

It wasn’t that Jo was fully at ease with Jimmy being there. That was going to take some time. However, there wasn’t any chance a single thing would change about the situation. Castiel and Jimmy were one and had been long before she’d arrived. She thought she could understand why Cas had been hesitant to tell her about Jimmy. He’d been a well-kept secret, there to Cas and not to the rest of the world.

Jo chose to forgive him. She forgave both of them. What good would it do to become upset and stay upset? She still wanted Castiel. That didn’t change. She’d decided, after her talk with Jimmy, to brazen it out, push through her discomfort and make it work. If Jimmy kept his promise they’d be fine.

She got out of bed carefully, half afraid she’d have nausea rise up. It didn’t and she stretched as she stood. Her morning sickness seemed to be triggered by motion such as riding in a car or boat, which was bizarre in her opinion since she’d never had problems with motion sickness. The book Chuck had sent with Castiel explained that morning sickness was different for every woman. She’d learned that morning sickness didn’t always mean morning was when it happened. It could hit any time of day. With a final stretch, she headed into the bathroom. 

When she emerged, dressed and contemplating going to breakfast, she was surprised to see Claire and Castiel come through the beads. “Oh, hey. Morning.”

Claire stopped in the doorway, peering into the cabin.

Cas slipped past her and came to Jo, handing her a muffin and giving her a kiss. She tasted coffee on him and longed for a cup herself, but since coffee was supposed to be bad for the baby, she’d given it up, along with beer in the evening. Her plan was to be very good about food, drink, and exercise and have a normal, average pregnancy. “It’s apple cinnamon,” he told her. “Claire and Jimmy are going to talk. Would you stay?”

“You want me to stay?”

“Yes. Jimmy says people will be watching and for Claire’s protection you should stay until it’s common knowledge that she’s family.”

“Oh.” She hadn’t thought of that. Jimmy made a good point. Some people had nasty minds and it was best to try to protect Claire from speculation that anything hinkey was going on. “Sure. I’ll stay. I’ll just work on the puzzle and listen to music.” 

They’d set up a card table and had been working on a puzzle in idle moments. Castiel was better at it than she was, able to sit for hours staring at the pieces until he’d suddenly reach out and slap a couple dozen pieces together in a stretch. Jo usually got bored with it long before he did. Today, though, she’d sit as long as he needed her there. She took out his iPod, chose a playlist, and started it, setting it on the table. As she worked, she nibbled at the muffin.

Hours passed. Whenever she looked up and over at them, Claire and Castiel were in varying stages of emotion. At one point, Claire was crying. At another, Cas was angry, body language indicating that he was livid at something Claire had said. Or maybe it was Jimmy who was angry. Jo turned the music up a bit more and pretended she wasn’t seeing any of it. Finally, her stomach began to growl and she glanced at them again. Cas was holding Claire, rocking her just a little as she clung to him.

Jo tugged her earbuds free and stopped the music. She got up and stepped to the couch. “I’m going to get some lunch. Either of you want anything?”

Claire pulled free and wiped her eyes. Her voice was nasally and husky. “I could eat, but I don’t want to go out there.”

“Bring us back something?” Castiel stood. “Sandwiches would be fine.”

“Is everything okay?”

“I think so. We’ll wait out on the porch for you to come back.” He held his hand out to Claire. “Come on, Claire. We could use some fresh air.”

After a moment, Claire took his hand and let him help her up. She wouldn’t look at Jo. 

Jo touched her arm, wondering what had been said. She’d had the music up loud enough that she hadn’t heard much. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I’m just hungry.” She glanced at Jo, a quick, almost curious look, like she was really seeing Jo for the first time. “A sandwich would be good. Thank you.”

She nodded and dropped her hand. “Okay. I’ll be back soon.”

When she returned, Risa and Dean had joined them and both Claire and Castiel looked to be in a better mood. She wondered how long that mood would last.


	12. Chapter 12

Perhaps he’d been too harsh.

Jimmy watched Claire eat the sandwich that Jo had brought and decided that he hadn’t been too harsh. Despite having been on her own, Claire wasn’t an adult and questioning not only his decisions, but Castiel’s was not acceptable. She didn’t fully understand the situation, nor did she have the life experience _to_ understand. Claire still thought love was a romance novel.

He’d made it clear that Jo was there to stay. If Claire decided not to accept Jo’s role in his and Castiel’s shared life, then fine. However, he expected her to treat Jo with respect regardless. Considering that she’d liked Jo just fine until discovering they’d exchanged vows, Jo and Castiel anyway, that shouldn’t be difficult.

He hated that they’d argued; that she was being stubborn, difficult, and such a _teenager_. Jimmy recalled joking with Amelia several times about that future day when Claire would get the teenage girl attitude. Well, it was here. The day had come and he wasn’t about to put up with it.

Jimmy had laid down the law. No matter the situation, he was still her father, retaining that parental authority over her and he was clear that Castiel spoke for him. If Castiel told Claire she was out of line, she was out of line and she’d better straighten up fast.

Then, after all of the drama of that was over, he’d explained Jo’s expectant state, stressing that the baby was Castiel and Jo’s, not his and Jo’s. He’d told her that Castiel’s presence in his body subtly changed his genetic makeup, a supernatural matter, and while she’d seemed to understand, he wondered if she truly did. Her reaction to the news was better than he’d expected after her reaction about Jo. She thought about it and asked how he thought she should treat the baby when it came. A half-sibling perhaps?

All afternoon, he watched Claire, observing how she behaved with Jo. She was exactly what he wanted from her: respectful, courteous, kind. Sure, she cringed a little when Cas kissed Jo, but that was to be expected, at least for awhile.

It was with relief that Jimmy let himself slide into sleep when night came. Concentrating on Claire had exhausted him.

~~~~~~~~~~

While it was difficult for Claire to witness Castiel being affectionate with Jo, mainly because she remembered her dad kissing her mom and it _was_ her dad’s body, she ultimately decided to approach the situation as she would if Jo was her stepmother. Her dad approved of Jo and said he’d taken the same vow as Castiel, so that approach made sense to her.

Besides, she really did like Jo. Jo had nursed her through her first real crush, taught her how to survive, and listened to her teenage worries. Jo was like a mother and friend rolled into one anyway.

Claire wanted to be happy for them. She knew Jo had been lonely and Castiel had to be too with the link to his brothers severed. They both needed someone and why not each other, especially since Jo was pregnant. 

She tried not to think of the baby as her dad’s, because when she did, she felt horrible, like he’d started an entire new life that didn’t include her. She wanted to be included and feel like she was a part of his strange half-life. He’d tried to stress that the baby was Castiel’s, which did help some, but she had to approach that the same way she approached Jo: extended family. The baby was a half-sibling and she was going to be a big sister.

It was easier not to try to understand the situation between her dad, Castiel, and Jo; to think of Castiel and her dad as one person, not two, which inevitably brought her back to the baby.

The more she thought about the baby, the more her feelings went round and round on the subject. She was happy for them, yet sad, and even though they began to include her in day-to-day activities, she felt like it was temporary. It wasn’t going to last. With each day that passed and each conversation that seemed to center largely on the baby, Claire began to feel worse. 

She began to feel alone.

She remained with Risa and Dean, one night stretching into more as they tried to find a place for her where she’d feel comfortable. She watched them go through lists in the evenings, making notations, moving names around, discussing people she could room with. It wasn’t a quick process. If one didn’t have an objection, the other did and even if they agreed, it seemed Castiel and her dad had objections. They all wanted her to have other people around, though truthfully, she’d be more comfortable by herself.

The solution was for her to move in to one of those little cabins right by Castiel’s cabin.

Claire sat down one rainy afternoon and wrote out an argument for one of those cabins. She knew there were a couple empty, one even still had some of Jo’s things in it. It would be close, they could easily see if she kept her light on too late or something, and she could move out of Dean and Risa’s cabin. They had to be wanting time alone with each other. Later that day, she presented the plan to Dean, while Risa popped popcorn in the air popper across the room.

He looked the paper over, lips twitching as he read. “Time alone, huh?”

“I’m not dumb, Dean. Married people do things when they’re alone together. It’s like an integral part of married life.”

“Who told you that?”

The air popper stopped, the scent of fresh popped popcorn in the air. 

She shrugged. “My mom. And Ellen. Ellen had a few words on that subject, too.” Claire glanced at Risa, mischief rising. “You’re married. That means you do sex things and need time alone with each other for that. Am I right or not?” 

Risa turned, a confused expression on her face and two bowls in her hands. She came to the couch. “ _What_ are you two talking about?”

“Sex between a married couple.” Claire bit back a smile at Risa’s resulting disapproving stare from the tone she’d used. If her dad was there, she’d never have said it the way she had. She felt a slight twinge of shame for trying to shock them somehow when they’d both been very accepting and welcoming of her in their cabin, but ignored it. “What? It’s not like the two of you don’t do it, right?”

Dean crossed his arms. “Not in the way she just said that, Risa, just in a general ‘it’s what married couples do’ way.”

“Oh really?” Her gaze turned speculative and she sat down between them, handing one bowl to Claire and balancing the other bowl against her leg and Dean’s.

“Claire has a proposal and one of her reasons listed…. Here. Just read it yourself.” He handed her the paper. “I see no reason not to put the plan before Cas and Jimmy. What do you think?”

Risa fixed a stare upon her that wasn’t amused and Claire shifted uncomfortably. It was that same stare her mother used to use when Claire had done something she knew she shouldn’t. “I think Claire’s butt would be blistered if she was in the house I grew up in. If I’d ever spoken to adults with the tone she just used, I wouldn’t have been able to sit for a week.” She glanced at the paper and handed it back. “Fine. Why don’t you run that over to them now? We’ll wait here.”

Claire watched with some trepidation as Dean got up and left without saying another word. Pushing was one thing, but she suspected that pushing Risa too hard was another entirely. 

After a moment, Risa sighed. “I understand all about trying to shock adults and stir up trouble for attention, kiddo. I was that way myself at your age for largely the same reason, but if you think you’re going to act like that out of your dad and Castiel’s sight, you’ve got another thing coming. I have no qualms about informing them of your behavior.”

“I wasn’t --”

“You were. However nice, and calm, and accepting of Jo’s pregnancy you were earlier, it’s hitting you now. I know what it’s like to feel like that new baby is going to take your place and you’ll be forgotten completely.”

Claire set her popcorn bowl on the side table and crossed her arms, hunching her shoulders a little. “It’s all they talk about together. I mean, I was looking forward to talking to Jo and telling her things, but she’s always in baby mode.”

“And it will be all they talk about for awhile. It’s still new to them, Claire. Jo’s a first-time mama and Castiel’s a first-time daddy, so they’re going to want to discuss it. I know Dean and I would if it was us. Your dad though…. Maybe you could request time to talk to him without any mention of the baby or of Jo. I think he’ll understand that you need the time with him. From the little I know about him, he seems the sort of man to grasp such things.”

Claire shook her head, recalling how he’d yelled at her. “He’ll be mad. He says he’s happy and he wants me to be happy for him and for Jo and Castiel, but if I say anything negative, he’ll be mad. I know he will and I don’t want him mad at me. I don’t like it when he yells.”

“No child likes to have their father yelling at them.” Stretching out a hand, Risa touched Claire’s shoulder. “Would you like me to explain for you, be an intermediary? I’ll be happy to if you like.”

“Would you?” It was a generous offer and one she hadn’t expected.

“Of course. You, however, have to promise me you won’t behave that way around us again.”

She agreed and when Castiel came back with Dean to talk to her, she was surprised when Risa seized the opportunity to bring it up right then.

~~~~~~~~~~

There was no reason to wait or beat around the bush. Risa asked Dean to sit with Claire and Castiel to join her at the table for a few minutes. When they were all settled, she folded her arms on the edge of the table, lowering her voice to speak quietly with him.

“Is Jimmy awake and listening?” At his nod, she continued. “Here me out before you say anything. There’s the potential for a bad situation to quickly develop with Claire if it’s not taken care of immediately.”

“What would that be?”

“She needs to spend time with Jimmy that does not include a discussion of either Jo or the baby and she needs to spend time with you and Jo, together and separate, without discussion of the baby.” She held up a hand. “Listen to the voice of experience here. She’s already feeling neglected and like the baby is taking all of your time, Jo’s, and her father’s. That will only grow as the months pass. Trust me. I’ve been in her position…sort of. I was about her age when my folks decided to have a couple more kids. I didn’t take it well. We had an incident a little while ago --”

“Dean said she made an inappropriate remark?”

“It was extremely mild, but enough to alert me. She’s a good kid, but she needs attention focused on her. Remember, she’s been on her own, too. A little independence in there, but a continued desire to be daddy’s little princess and the _only_ little princess, especially since he wasn’t there by necessity for a few years. She’s fragile, Castiel. She wants her family. It’s very scary to think of a brother or sister taking time away from you and to walk into the situation like she did….”

He thought a long moment, then nodded. “Jo and I will talk about it and make further arrangements. Was there anything else?”

“No, that’s all.”

He stood and turned to Claire. “I came to see if you’d like to take a walk in the rain. Your father tells me the two of you would sometimes do that when you were little.”

She stood with a cautious expression, as though afraid he was going to yell at her. “A walk?”

“Yes.” He smiled and shrugged, an easy going gesture. “Just a walk. If you don’t care to, I’ll go by myself.”

“Can I take an umbrella?”

“If you like. I’m sure you can borrow Dean’s.”

Risa watched the two leave, then got up and returned to the couch.

Dean put an arm around her shoulders. “Do you think she’ll be fine?”

“I think she will if they take my advice.”

He pressed his cheek to hers. “I was little when my mom was pregnant with my brother, but I remember a little bit of that feeling.” He sighed. “It’s going to be tough for all four of them.”

They sat together in silence for long minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dean Winchester had built quite a camp. It was one thing to view it from heaven and another entirely to walk through it and take in the pieces of it from a human level. Gabriel strolled the camp as most people slept -- snagging few cookies that were in a container in the dining hall, looking over the garden and animals, visiting Dean’s beloved Impala, replenishing their ammunition stores with a snap of his fingers. He took his time in a long, casual tour and when he’d seen all he wished, he went to Dean’s cabin, plucked the location of the ring from his mind while he slept and found it. He held it up. One down, three to go. This ring was the easy one. 

For weeks after nabbing it, Dean had taken it out, looked at it, and wondered if it was important in some way other than how the Horseman had used it, yet every time he put it away with the feeling that he needed to keep it. Gabriel read all of that in the time it took to blink.

His glance turned to Dean’s wife. Risa. She was certainly a looker, with an exotic air about her. The two were twined together, Risa on her back and Dean’s head resting on her breasts. Dean had an arm about her waist. They were peaceful in sleep, their breaths nearly in unison.

Gabriel turned to leave them and paused. The girl sleeping on their couch was awake, her eyes wide and frightened. Stepping to her, he crouched down, speaking in a low whisper. “Don’t be afraid, Claire. I mean you no harm.”

“Who are you?” She pulled the blanket tighter to her.

“A friend. Go back to sleep.” Stretching out a hand, he made her sleep, and took the memory of his visit from her. She looked well and was in a far better emotional state than many who’d been out in the world. He stood. Claire Novak came from good stock. She’d make it through whatever trouble came her way.

Leaving the cabin, he decided to make one last stop while he was here. Why wait when he could take care of two things in one trip? He willed himself to Castiel’s cabin, materializing beside the wide bed.

Curious, Gabriel glanced around. The furnishings were typical Apocalypse chic, not much different than Dean’s cabin. He sighed and returned his gaze to the bed. Castiel was sprawled on his back, snoring ever so gently, the covers bunched at his waist. His chest was bare. Beside him, lay Jo Harvelle, curled against him and mostly covered by the sheet and bedspread. Gabriel could see the strap of some sort of sleepwear on her shoulder. Hands on his hips, he assessed Jo first. She was in good health, the baby as well, a little deficient in iron, but a snap of his fingers righted that.

As for Castiel…. Gabriel frowned and studied what Zachariah had done to him. The ‘battery’ was still there, emitting a level of power almost too low to register -- a residual hum of power, though nothing that gave him any real abilities. He could probably sense some things in a human psychic twinge sort of way. It was with some relief that he realized all he needed to do was turn the tap back on so Castiel’s ‘angel battery’ could charge back to full strength. Gabriel had half feared Zachariah had made unfixable changes.

He gave the tap a little turn, just enough to start the charging process. Castiel’s powers should start returning. Then, he made a few more changes, little tweaks really, each one sanctioned and fully approved by heaven, returning pieces of Castiel to his original state.

The vessel stirred inside Castiel and woke in a panic. _What was that? What’s going on?_

Gabriel tsked and soothed him. “Sshh. It’s okay, Jimmy. Just a little reorganizing.”

__

What? Why? Who are you?

“A friend. You’ll be fine. Trust me. This will be much better than your current arrangement if all goes well. Now, forget all about me having been here and go back to sleep.” A touch to Castiel’s forehead achieved that end and also served to put Castiel into a deeper sleep, enabling Gabriel to complete his task faster.

Like he’d told Jimmy, the new arrangement would be much better for all of them. He wondered how long before Castiel realized he had the power to let Jimmy surface fully for brief periods.

With a smug little smile, he took the key to Michael and headed after the next one.

~~~~~~~~~~

Across the camp, Mya tossed and turned in her sleep, her dreams interrupted by bursts of static that made her cry out.

She woke with a throbbing pain all through her head, unable to think for the static, unable to move from that pain. It gripped her entire body and with a certainty she realized that something was in the camp.

She cried silently until, in a single second, the pain was gone as though it had never been there to begin with.

Mya rolled over and looked at Rick. He was still asleep. Her incident hadn’t woken him. She sat up. Her hands were shaking and she felt vaguely nauseated. Tossing aside the covers, she got out of bed and padded to the window. She opened the curtain and stared out at the clearing until dawn came and the memory of the pain began to fade.

Whatever it was that had been there was gone, taking the hurting pulse of static with it, yet she still felt a humming in the air, gentle and almost soothing after that painful static.

Her attention turned to Castiel and Jo’s cabin, remained there a moment. She felt like if she stood still enough and focused enough she could pinpoint the location of that hum…. It seemed to be coming from…. Mya shook her head and returned to bed.

~~~~~~~~~~

__

He found the answers, satisfaction in a task well completed rolling over him and eager anticipation rising. It was time. He was finally ready. He stood and moved towards the exit.

Castiel rolled over in his sleep, frowning, head moving on his pillow.

__

“Stop.” It was Michael before him, blocking the path.

__

He paused, because when Michael ordered, all obeyed. “Yes?”

“You’re to come with me. You’ve been reassigned, effective immediately.”

“Why?” The word blurted out before he could stop it. He hadn’t meant to question the archangel. Strange. He felt angry and didn’t understand. Why was he feeling anger? Michael ordered, he should obey without question, without anger.

“It’s been decided, Castiel.”

“By who?” There he went again, unable to keep a grip on his tongue.

“ **You** question **me**?”

“I simply wish to know why I’ve been reassigned. Did I commit an offense?” He didn’t understand.

“You don’t question me,” Michael replied, reaching out. Castiel knew what Michael was going to do was going to hurt and there was nothing he could do to stop him…. 

Castiel woke with a gasp. It was only a dream, but vivid, like a memory, continuing to replay in his mind as he gathered Jo closer. He turned his face into her hair, breathing in the pleasant scent of her shampoo and letting the familiar smell comfort him. It wasn’t the first time he’d had that dream. It hadn’t made sense the first time he’d had it and still made no sense. He’d never been reassigned, nor did he recall ever being singled out by Michael for anything close to a personal conversation. For as long as Cas could remember, he’d been in Anna’s garrison.

He slipped back into sleep and when he woke at dawn, he had the strangest sensation of being more awake than he’d been in years now. He felt energized and very alive.

~~~~~~~~~~

Apparently, Castiel was the second personality of a man named Jimmy. That was the first story. The second one was that he was a former angel who’d used Jimmy as a host and become trapped with him.

Both ideas made Kylie’s head hurt. Knowing some things going on in the world -- _hello_ , Lucifer -- she chose the second explanation. Lucifer was an angel, which meant there _were_ angels, so it wasn’t beyond the realm of possibility that Castiel could have been one. Besides, the second explanation had more romance in it and Kylie liked romance.

Either way, whichever Jimmy was, he had a daughter. Claire. It sort of bent Kylie’s mind a little to realize she’d had sex with a guy who had a kid and not just a kid, but one who was a teenager. That wasn’t much younger than Kylie herself. 

She made a point of meeting Claire and discovered that she was really nice. Polite and sweet, but with an edge. She was _so_ brave, having survived, like, forever out there on her own. It was something out of an adventure novel. Kylie attempted to make friends with Claire, because surely she needed someone closer to her age to talk to, right? She asked about what Claire had gone through on the outside. The stories Claire told were wild, like facing a vengeful demon and living through it. She was like the heroine in a novel or movie. Really. Kylie decided she liked Claire even as her friendship with Vanessa deteriorated in bursts.

For some reason, Claire’s arrival and Jo’s pregnancy seemed to spur Vanessa on to greater heights in her idea that Castiel would come back to her. She was sliding into full-out delusional now. Cas had become a family man and that was that. He wasn’t going to come back to Vanessa and though Kylie tried to convince her of that, Van didn’t believe her. 

Kylie avoided her as much as possible now, which was sometimes hard to do seeing as how they were still roommates. She made a mental note to approach Dean about finding a new cabin to live in. Besides, Jo wasn’t what Kylie had thought she was. She was kind of nice in an adult, nearly thirty way. Certainly not the man-stealing bitch she’d assumed Jo to be.

She was willing to admit she was wrong and had even come through a few casual conversations with Jo unscathed. Jo wasn’t scary and she certainly wasn’t a bitch. She just had that leadership attitude thing going on sometimes, like Risa did, only Jo seemed to be more amused by Kylie than Risa ever was.

It was kind of sweet to watch how concerned Cas was about her, bringing her food or something to drink in the dining hall, taking walks with her, and holding her hand. Not that he hadn’t been sweet when Kylie had been with him. He had been, but this was extra sweetness. Kylie decided that she’d watch Vanessa and if she ever did anything to hurt anyone, she’d be there to stop her, because really, Kylie thought of herself as a good friend. Weren’t good friends the ones that watched out for you and if you were going to do something bad, talked you out of it? She was going to be there if Van ever needed talked out of something bad.

~~~~~~~~~~

He was being followed.

Zachariah strolled about heaven, watching carefully for a possible tail. He took a roundabout path, sneaking glances behind him every so often. It didn’t take him long to identify Raphael as the one behind him. Of all the angels that could have been chosen to follow him…Raphael? He about laughed. Raphael was about as subtle as Dean Winchester on a bad day. Fierce, but not good at being sneaky. Raphael had always preferred the more direct approach. 

A quick tour of the obvious exits made it clear that he was going to have to do some fast maneuvering when it was time to take his leave.

Soon. 

He had a plan in mind, one that he thought would work, but needed a little more consideration before being enacted.

Soon, he’d leave and soon, he’d achieve all he’d ever dreamed of.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Let me see it.” Jo held out her hand, snapping her fingers several times when Chuck shook his head in refusal. “Chuck.”

Chuck kept the binder close to his chest. “I wouldn’t, Jo.”

“Please.”

He bit his lip. While he hadn’t seen any of this, it didn’t take visions to know this wasn’t going to end well. He hadn’t expected Jo to overhear he and Dean talking, nor had he expected her to demand to see the binders. The voice hadn’t told him this either. “Jo --”

“You’re a prophet, I get that. You write it all down because you have to or suffer crippling migraines. We’ve been through all of that, now I want to read what you saw about me. Is that too much to ask?”

Castiel and Dean exchanged an alarmed glance.

With a gulp, Chuck held out the binder.

Jo took it and flipped it open. Her reaction was pretty much what he expected. Complete horror with a healthy tinge of embarrassment. “Who’s read this?” Her glance flicked up. “Cas?”

Castiel shook his head. “No. I feel no need at present to --”

“Dean?”

Dean took a couple steps towards her. “I think you should know that --”

“Tell me. Did you read this, Dean?”

He raised his hands, held them up. “Take a breath, Jo, and calm down.”

“I’m calm.” She sounded anything but, voice tight. Her attention returned to the pages, fingers turning those pages one by one, skimming, stalling on one page, rereading it, her head tilting to the left and lips parting. She sucked in a breath. “I want an answer now, Dean. Did you read these pages?”

Dean looked at the floor, licked his lips, and nodded. “Yes, Jo, I’ve read them. I…read it all. Three binders full.”

She made a gasping, half-choking sob.

Reaching out, Dean grasped the binder, trying to take it from her.

~~~~~~~~~

It was bad enough to see her first night with Castiel down on paper in intimate detail and hear Dean admit to having read it. Then, she read about that one thing Cas hadn’t admitted to her.

He’d forgotten the birth control.

It wasn’t that it had failed exactly, but rather _he hadn’t remembered it_.

Sound seemed to fade in and out. Jo felt like she couldn’t breathe, gasping. Black spots danced on the edge of her vision. She heard Chuck apologizing for having to write it all, Castiel asking if she was okay, and Dean….

She felt the prickling of tears in the corners of her eyes. Dean’s hands were on the other end of the binder, trying to take it from her. He didn’t tug hard, but gently, as though he understood her reaction.

__

He broke off with a sharp gasp, realizing he’d neglected the spermicidal jelly they’d been using.

“Jo?”

Sound snapped back into clarity and Jo turned her head, looking up into Castiel’s clear blue eyes and shrugging his hand from her shoulder. “Don’t touch me,” she snapped.

His eyes widened and he staggered back a little, his hand dropping away. “Jo….”

Thrusting the binder at Dean, Jo fled the cabin, not caring if he caught it or it fell to the floor. She didn’t cry often, but when she did, it wasn’t pretty. Once she got going, she really wasn’t one of those women who cried prettily. By the time she reached the sobbing, gasping for breath, unable to see for the tears stage, she was a mess.

She headed for the one place she didn’t think anyone would look for her -- the Impala -- and picked the lock to the building. Inside, she lifted the tarp on the side opposite the window, opened the back door and slid inside. Jo laid on the back seat, crying out her humiliation of all those things Chuck and Dean knew. Her mortification of knowing that Dean knew some of those very private things was high. When she’d read about Jimmy predicting her pregnancy because Castiel had neglected birth control in his half asleep, very roused state…. Jo wanted to hide.

And so she did.

She stayed in the Impala even when she heard the frantic tone of Castiel’s calls outside. He was worried about her she knew, but she couldn’t quite bring herself to come out yet.

~~~~~~~~~~~

In his extreme distress for being unable to find Jo in the camp, Castiel found himself shaking as he paced. A thousand fears crept into his mind. Jo was gone. She’d fled. Whatever she’d seen on the pages she’d looked at had sent her running from him. She’d left him. She’d taken herself and their baby and gone. She wasn’t coming back.

__

Stop, Castiel. Think about this. She’s not gone. She’s still here somewhere. None of her clothes are missing from the trunk, nor is her bag gone. She’s here.

While he could hear Jimmy, he couldn’t seem to wrap his mind around the words and make them make sense. Jo was gone. She’d left him.

__

Castiel? Can you hear me? Come on, listen to me!

He paced in the cabin while Dean sent a team around to look for her. Just a few men and women who’d keep the search to themselves. Rick, Natalie, Carrie and others. Two hours had passed already. Where was she?

__

They aren’t going to find her. That thought rang through his mind in an unceasing chorus. What had she read that made her so upset? He tried to think of everything that would cause such a reaction and came up with nothing. He simply didn’t know the cause of her distress.

Cas saw Risa look at the map with a thoughtful expression and leave without saying a word to either him or Dean.

__

Cas!

He stopped pacing…but he was still pacing, his strides slowing, one hand raking through his hair. While he could feel the weight of their body, he couldn’t consciously make any part of it move. He tried to move and couldn’t. _Jimmy? What’s happening? I can’t…I’m not…._

He wasn’t in control anymore.

__

You need to calm down, Jimmy said in a stern, commanding tone. _Breathe._

They took a long, slow breath. It was Jimmy in control now, taking those breaths, calming their racing heart, relaxing their limbs. All Castiel could do was sit and wait.

__

Think about this. Really think. Her things are still here. Whatever she read embarrassed her. Remember Dean and Sam’s initial reactions to discovering the books? It made them uncomfortable too. Jo’s upset and she doesn’t want to be found right now. All she’s doing is hiding out somewhere until she’s ready to come out. She hasn’t left you. She’ll calm down. You need to too.

__

How did you take control just now?

I don’t know. It wasn’t something I consciously did. It just sort of happened while you were panicking. Jimmy took them to the table where Dean sat and laid their hands on the surface, palms down. He leaned against them, bending a little, head lowering. They continued to breathe.

“Cas? How you doin’ buddy?”

He felt Dean’s hand pat their shoulder several times. After a long moment, he was able to lift their head and slide their hands across the tabletop, Jimmy slipping back and switching places with him. Castiel could feel it happen, a slight shifting sensation in their body, almost like a full bodily shiver. “I’m…enduring,” he replied, feeling much calmer despite all of those fears still being present.

__

Thank you, Jimmy.

What affects you, affects me, remember?

You believe she’s still here? That she’ll be back?

Yes. Stay calm. Jo will be back when she’s ready.

“We’ll find her,” Dean replied with a certainty in his voice that wasn’t reflected in his eyes. If Jo wanted to disappear, she could and they both knew it. He peered at Cas. “You sure calmed down quick.”

“Her belongings remain here. If she was going to leave camp, she would have packed no matter how upset she was.”

“True. Very good point.”

Cas sat in one chair and folded his arms on the table edge, then laid his head down. He was beginning to feel tired, like he needed to lie down and sleep for several hours.

__

Probably the adrenaline is wearing off.

Can you take control again?

There was silence for several minutes. _No. I don’t think it was me doing it, Castiel. You try._

As they waited for someone to come with word that they’d found Jo, Cas discovered that somehow, he now had the ability to let Jimmy surface. At one point in their wait, Jimmy took his place for a full quarter hour before Cas couldn’t hold the switch back.

If he’d entertained any doubts that heaven was regaining interest in the earth, they were smashed as he and Jimmy discussed their new situation and what it meant.

~~~~~~~~~~

Risa watched Castiel pace and Dean mark off sections on a map. They were both worried for Jo, practically tearing the camp apart in an effort to find her. Castiel was more worried and fearful than Risa had ever seen him, unable to sit still, constantly pacing when efforts to find Jo fell flat.

He was afraid she’d left the camp and him both, nearly incoherent with that fear.

She glanced at the map and had an idea. There was no way Jo would leave the camp. She’d told Risa that her days of wandering were pretty much over. Nor would she leave Castiel. Where would Jo go that would give her a measure of comfort in her severe embarrassment over Chuck’s visions? What place would be a familiar, quiet, private, and ultimately perfect to hide until she was ready to come out? The Impala.

Why hadn’t Dean thought of it himself? The Impala was all of those things, and also a symbol of the part of her life that wasn’t in Chuck’s binders. No invasion of her privacy.

Quietly, Risa slipped away, not saying anything. She found the lock on the shed open and went inside, standing still a moment and listening before moving to the opposite side and raising the tarp.

Jo was there, sitting up when she saw Risa.

Risa opened the door. “Castiel and Dean are frantic to find you. They’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

“Can’t Chuck tell them I’m here,” she said in a bitter tone. “He knows everything else.”

She slid onto the seat beside Jo, choosing her words carefully. “I don’t think it works that way. He said he doesn’t always see things in order.”

Jo wiped her eyes. “How about you, Risa? Do you know too? Did you read it all?”

“No, I haven’t and I don’t plan to. I’m aware that Chuck’s a prophet and all of that, but I’m fully behind the ignorance is bliss idea. Dean, however, has a need to _know_ , not to embarrass anyone, either you or Castiel, but to try to figure out how all of it’s fitting together.”

“He read it, Risa, no matter his intentions. He knows things I told Cas on impulse. He knows private thoughts I had. Chuck I can sort of excuse because he has no control over what he sees and Jimmy for the same, but Dean? He had the choice not to read it and he did read it.”

“Hurting you wasn’t his intention. You know Dean wouldn’t hurt you on purpose. I imagine he only admitted to reading it because he was being honest with you?”

Jo was silent a moment, then nodded. “He didn’t want to. I insisted he tell me.”

They sat quietly awhile. Risa fought the urge to sneeze from the dust.

“I’m pregnant because Cas neglected the birth control,” Jo told her.

Honestly,” she turned her head to look at Jo, “I think you’re pregnant for other reasons besides that. Plenty of women have tried and failed to get pregnant for a good year now, and it happens to you by accident? No, I think there’s more to it than that.”

“Maybe, but he didn’t tell me. He let me think the jelly failed.”

She smiled. “If I had a dollar for all of the things Dean didn’t tell me…. Think about male logic, Jo. He probably didn’t think it was important because you were already pregnant. The jelly failing or him forgetting it to begin with didn’t really matter because the result was the same.”

She was rewarded by a small, tentative smile. “That _is_ male logic,” Jo agreed.

“Are you calm enough to go back now?”

“I just want to go to my cabin and sleep for awhile.”

They slid from the car, left the building and closed it back up. 

Risa walked with Jo all the way to the cabin. “I’ll tell Castiel where you are.” She sincerely hoped there weren’t anymore surprises in store for Jo anytime soon. She had to have about hit her limit.

Jo nodded, went up the steps and through the beads and Risa headed back across camp.

~~~~~~~~~~

Gabriel was pacing, hands gesturing as he spoke.

“Okay, the first ring? Easy. Famine? A little tricky. Bony fingers like talons. Pestilence? There’s a guy who doesn’t know when to stop with the puke jokes. For the record, Mike, vomiting? Not fun. Projectile vomiting? Still not fun. Death, though. Talk about a buzz kill.”

“Did you get them all?”

Gabriel wasn’t finished, however. “We had coffee. Have you ever _had_ coffee with Death, Mike?”

He started to answer, but it appeared Gabriel meant it as a rhetorical question, for he continued before Michael could speak.

“It’s not an experience I care to repeat, let me put it that way. I thought you were humorless, but Death really has no sense of humor. I mean at all. He didn’t appreciate any of my best lines and threatened to reap me if we failed. Said we’d all be reaped eventually anyway. Quite an ego, that Death.”

“And?”

“He handed it over. Apparently, Lucifer’s no better with pets now than he was _before_ he was locked up.”

“Are you calling the Horsemen pets?” He blinked.

Gabriel shrugged and snorted. “If the shoe fits.”

“Gabriel.” The Horsemen were horrific, fierce and powerful agents, yet Gabriel blithely called them pets.

“What? He has collars on them, they’re pets. He commands, they go. Sic ‘em, Fluffy.” He held out the rings. “Here. Take these. I need a drink. Preferably something sweet and tasty. Come to think of it, I wouldn’t mind a sweet and tasty blond to go with that.”

He took the rings, studied them a moment and put them away. “Your other task? Have you completed it yet?”

“Done.”

“You’re certain?”

“Yes, Mike, I’m certain. Castiel is good to go, or he will be soon.”

Michael shook his head. “I’m still not certain I like that idea.”

“Dad’s got something up his sleeve, that’s for sure, but it’s not ours to question is it?”

Over the next few days, Michael reviewed Castiel’s service file, remembering things he’d forgotten and discovering things he’d not known. There was much there to consider. Try as he might, he couldn’t figure out the big picture. Where was Castiel in that endgame between Michael and Lucifer? 

Michael was puzzled and though he waited, there was no revelation available for him on the subject. He would have to wait and see how it all played out.


	13. Chapter 13

Castiel came through the beads in a rush, desperate to see Jo. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, brush in hand, dressed in the loose cotton chemise she’d taken to wearing at night. Her face was blotchy and swollen, showing clear remnants of how hard and long she’d cried.

She looked at him, gaze a little sad. “You forgot the birth control and didn’t tell me.” Her voice was husky and low.

Going to her, Castiel knelt on the floor in front of her, touching her thighs with tentative pats until he was sure she wasn’t going to shove him away. Then, he placed his hands on her legs. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Was that the reason you ran?”

“You let me think it failed.” Jo bit her lip, set the brush aside, and leaned back on her hands, not protesting his touch, but not leaning towards him like she usually did either. “Why? Why didn’t you say something? The next morning? Or anytime?”

“I didn’t think to,” he admitted, and it was the truth. He hadn’t thought to say anything to her because the odds of her getting pregnant were supposed to be steep. “And by the time you told me you were pregnant….” He shrugged. “I didn’t see any reason to tell you. I mean, you were already pregnant. Did the how matter?”

To his surprise, her lips parted and a snort of laughter sounded. “Damned if Risa wasn’t right. You’re such a _man_ , Cas.”

He got the feeling that wasn’t a compliment at present. “I am sorry, Jo. I should have told you and that omission obviously caused you some great distress.”

“Oh, that wasn’t the only reason I left for awhile.” Jo shook her head and sat up.

“What was the other one?”

“Dean.” She said it as though he should have realized it. “He read it all, Cas. Tell me that freaks you out a little too, that he now knows private things about us; things that we thought and felt and….” Jo sighed. “I’m getting the feeling it doesn’t bother you like it does me. Why not?”

“It makes me uncomfortable, but you must understand, that discomfort is from a human perspective. Privacy is different for an angel. Very different. Chuck’s work is important and eventually, all of his writings will be found and read by many people. I don’t think about it and Dean didn’t mean to embarrass you. He has love for you Jo and he wouldn’t hurt you on purpose.”

“That’s what Risa said.”

“You weren’t supposed to know he’d read it all. He never intended you to know that or to feel embarrassed by realizing his knowledge and he never once used that knowledge to hurt you, did he?”

“No.”

“Is it too terrible what he knows?”

She leaned her head back, gaze roaming across the ceiling. Finally, she pursed her lips, shrugged her brows and looked back at him. “I suppose not, since I can’t prevent it having happened and he never said anything about it. As long as he continues not to say anything, I guess I can live with it. I’m not happy about it, but I can try to ignore it.” Jo rested her hands beside her hips and shifted position a fraction. “So, can you look me in the eye and promise me there isn’t anything else you haven’t told me?”

Castiel caressed her knees a moment, then got up to sit beside her. The situation with Jimmy was one she needed to be aware of. “I can’t do that.”

Her stare became hard and cool. “Start talking. I mean it. Talk now.”

“It should wait until tomorrow when we’re both thinking clearly.”

“No. Now. I can’t go to bed with you thinking there’s another big bomb waiting to be dropped on me. I can’t take much more, Cas. I’ve faced my fears and my weird little idiosyncrasies, spoken vows, had Jimmy’s daughter show up, learned Chuck’s a prophet and that my life is _literally_ a book that’s being written…. Anything else too major might just break me at this point.”

“Okay, okay.” He bowed his head, watching her out of the corner of his eye. “Jimmy and I discovered a little while ago that I’ve developed the ability to let him surface fully for short periods, maybe fifteen minutes at most at a time.”

She blinked, then frowned. “I don’t think I can even begin to process that right now. What the hell does that mean for you? For him? For me?”

“I know. We’re having difficulty ourselves. I don’t know how or why it’s happened, if it’s a prelude to my powers returning or what. But Jimmy will be able to visit with Claire without me repeating everything he says to her. He can have a little bit of life that’s life.”

“Geez, Cas. What’s _that_ mean for you and me?”

“Not exactly sure yet.” He and Jimmy hadn’t really gotten as far as discussing the situation between them in conjunction to Castiel’s relationship with Jo. They’d discussed what it could mean otherwise, such as Cas regaining his angel mojo, and begun to talk about Claire. Jimmy was looking forward to talking to Claire without having to go through Castiel.

“Is he awake right now?”

Jimmy didn’t answer his queries, so he assumed not. “I think he’s asleep. Switching back and forth seems to be harder on him than it is on me.”

“Okay.” Jo covered her mouth with one hand, then removed it and turned to face him, drawing her legs up under her. “Here’s my thought on you and me and him with this new situation. I’ll talk to him when he’s in control, but that’s all. It was one thing for him to wake up in certain moments because it was all the life he had, with no real control. He couldn’t do anything separate of you.” Her tongue slipped out and wet her lips. “It’s another thing for him to be in control sometimes. That means he can be separate of you for brief periods. Now, I like him so far, but like we talked about, it’s you I love, not him. It’s you I want to be with. That separateness…. That’s a line, Cas, right? You’re two separate guys. I won’t…I can’t….” She glanced away. “He can have conversation and nothing else from me. No kissing, no touching, no…nothing else. Got it?”

“Yes.” He understood what she was saying. She wouldn’t be intimate with Jimmy. He didn’t tell her there was thus far a chance Jimmy could be awake without Cas knowing about it. Jimmy could surface, but Castiel still didn’t know when he was awake or sleeping unless Jimmy said something. That power wasn’t present -- so far. “I’d have it no other way in this situation. You’re mine, not Jimmy’s. He knows that.”

She released a long breath, her shoulders relaxing. “Good. As long as that’s clear.”

Raising a hand, he cupped her jaw, rubbed his thumb along her cheek. “I’m sorry, Jo, for all of it. You’ve been far more patient than I deserve.”

“Well, I’m still pissed with you,” she admitted. “And with Dean. And, hell, you should have told me about Chuck. All this time, I thought it was sort of creepy how he knew things and now I’m really creeped out by how _much_ he knows.”

“Are we okay now?”

“I think so, but let me sleep on that. We may need more discussion tomorrow.”

They went to bed, though it wasn’t evening, Cas holding her as their exhaustion from the emotional turmoil of the day pulled them both into sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~

Punishment was looming near. Zachariah had little time to waste, whether his plan was ready or not. If he didn’t go now, he’d never have the chance to flee.

He had to stop this. He had to make paradise come before _He_ came home and there was only one way to do that. He’d slip into 2009 and give Dean Winchester a hopeless view of 2014, one where God didn’t return and everything was near death. It was a genius plan, one he was sure his ’09 self would approve of. He’d show Dean a future that didn’t really exist:

A Dean still running from woman to woman, not the Dean down there now who’d found love, contentment, and even a sort of peace as the world fell apart around him.

A Castiel who never began to cope with his depression over the loss of his angelic identity and never discovered love himself with that meddling, irritating Harvelle girl.

Nor would Zachariah show Dean any hint of Jo Harvelle, especially not that she was breeding with Castiel. The thought of that alone gave him shudders of horror. He couldn’t imagine wanting a physical relationship with a human, let alone _her_. She’d almost ruined everything by working to convince Sam to say ‘no’. Luckily, Sam had walked right up to Lucifer and given his consent with a cocky tilt to his young, obedient brow. Lovely, obedient Sam….

Honestly, it didn’t surprise him too much that Castiel had become that familiar with human females. He was that sort to begin with, with a spark of unbridled curiosity. Zachariah had thought that spark was suppressed, initially impressed by how well Castiel had done in Anna’s unit, but then he was proven wrong about it. It wasn’t suppressed, merely lurking patiently to rise up at the most inopportune time. Even after being disciplined, Castiel displayed the annoying tendency towards individuality, continuing to question and search for answers to his questions. He hadn’t been content with his orders, thinking for himself, deciding for himself what was reasonable instead of following those orders like he was supposed to. Discipline had not taken the inclination from him. It had only appeared to increase his propensity towards it.

Risa would simply be a jealous one-night stand and not Dean’s wife who, if Zachariah was right, was going to be the next to show up pregnant. It was like dominoes. If left unchecked, those humans would all be breeding again and overflowing the earth. A catastrophe.

He’d show Dean a world with no hope save him -- as long as he went back to 2009 and said ‘yes’. Zachariah was confident he could get Dean to accept Michael early. Then he -- Zachariah -- would have everything he’d ever wanted. Paradise. With himself at the top of the pyramid.

He’d beat God to the punch. Without Him home, there’d be no judgment.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Zachariah has fled to earth.”

Gabriel looked up, the blond woman beside him disappearing. In pieces, the rest of the room Gabriel had created also disappeared until the remaining furniture was the bed he lounged on. “And? Weren’t we expecting that move?”

“We were, but I’ve just been informed that Raphael’s vessel is dead.”

“Meaning I get to finish his job.” A roll of his eyes conveyed Gabriel’s thoughts on that as he sat up.

“You’re perhaps better suited to follow Zachariah anyway.”

“Are you implying that Raphael is not the best at surveillance? I’m simply shocked, Mike.”

“He did try, however. He was…upset to discover his vessel was no more.”

“You didn’t think to check on that before assigning him? Good going. You’re getting forgetful in your old age.”

“Do you think you could have done better? With all of the matters I must consider at present, I’m frankly surprised I’ve not forgotten more.”

“Okay, okay.” The scene began to return. The rug, the night tables, the blond. Gabriel laid back down.

“Gabriel!” Michael couldn’t help the annoyed tone to his voice.

“What?”

“I need you to do this now.”

The scene disappeared once more. “What’s the rush?”

“We’re running out of time. Look for yourself if you don’t believe me.”

He watched Gabriel stand and his expression change from boredom and annoyance to concern as he viewed the little information they had regarding what was going to happen. Without stepping in right now, what was coming was unstoppable. Gabriel frowned. “You didn’t see this before?”

“Would I have tarried if I had?” He’d neglected to look forward and he should have. This need to hurry now was all his fault. He’d been so busy dealing with current matters that he’d not taken in all possible factors. He’d assumed they had plenty of time and they didn’t.

“What a way to screw up, Mike. This goes beyond the average screw-up.”

“You needn’t tell me. I’m aware of my mistake.” He was supposed to be the one to remember everything and yet he felt like he was lurching from one matter to the next. “I’ve little time to convince Dean Winchester to accept me.”

“Better get cracking them. He’s one stubborn SOB. I’d guess you’ve got, like, a day, maybe two at most.”

“I’m…aware of that.” He took a few steps towards Gabriel. “I need to ask…. You were a messenger once and you’ve dealt with him before. What approach would you recommend for me to take? I wish to display to him from first personal contact that I _will_ have a care for him.” He’d been told to, promised he would.

Gabriel paced a moment, suddenly very serious, more so than Michael had seen in a long time. “Go into his dreams. You’ll need to project and remain here for that, otherwise your presence could harm his wife and that certainly wouldn’t bring on trust from him. You harm her in any way and we’re all sunk. Watch the volume of your voice, ask him if it’s too loud. Be polite, and most of all, don’t let your distaste of humans show. He’ll know. Dean’s not stupid. The guy has more smarts than you think he does.”

“You almost sound like you admire him.”

“I’ll admit to liking him. He’ll be stubborn and you might have to reveal something to him in proof of your intentions, so be prepared for that before you approach him.”

He started to leave in order to prepare himself for speaking with Dean, but Gabriel’s voice stopped him.

“Michael? Good luck. I’ll give Raphael what he’ll need to replace me in my final task and then I’ll follow Zach.”

“Thank you, Gabriel. If all goes well….” He shrugged. “If it doesn’t, then…..”

Gabriel nodded. “Yeah. I know. Love you, too.”

Michael prepared himself and when he was as ready as he’d ever be, he searched out Dean Winchester’s consciousness, waiting until the best moment to enter his dreams.

~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel didn’t expect to think about lunch and materialize at the dining hall, though in retrospect he should have. For a second, he thought he’d blacked out on the walk, but then he tried again.

And it worked.

He still couldn’t do the other things he’d once been able, but this he could do. Teleporting himself and letting Jimmy surface. Cas smiled.

Why now? Would his other abilities return as well given time? He did feel stronger and more calm than he had in years.

Just because he could, he did it several more times, grin widening with each successful try until, on the final one, he heard a gasp and crash. Turning, he saw Mya standing there, a box on the ground at her feet, items spilling from it.

“What are you?” Her eyes were wide and frightened.

“Human.” Perhaps he should have been a bit more careful.

“Bullshit,” she spat. “Humans don’t disappear like that, nor do they feel like an electrical tingle on my skin or static in my head. What are you, Castiel?”

Crouching, he placed the items that had fallen from the box back into it. “I was an angel once.” The fear in her eyes deepened and he shook his head. “Don’t be afraid, Mya. I’m not one anymore. There’s no reason for you to fear me.”

“The story is true? The whole vessel-angel thing…it’s real then?”

“Yes.”

She studied him. “You still have power.”

“No, not really. I can sense things sometimes and apparently my ability to teleport has returned.” Which meant his wings were there. Following that logic…he was no longer as far on the human side as he’d thought. A confusing realization. Would his emotions go away next? The idea of losing the love he had for Jo frightened him. He didn’t want to return to that nearly emotionless state. Slowly, he stood. “I didn’t mean to startle you or frighten you. I apologize.” Cas turned to go -- walking this time.

Her hand lashed out, gripping his arm, the fabric of his jacket bunching in her grip. “You’re not the only one.”

“Excuse me?”

Mya released him, wiping her hand against her thigh. “The other night I woke up with the same feeling I get around you, only it was far worse. I couldn’t move, think, could barely remember to breathe and then it was just gone. So if what I feel is angel, then there was another one here in the camp in the middle of the night.”

Who had it been? Someone powerful? Or did angels of average power cause that reaction in her? “Did you see the angel?”

“No. Does…does Jo know?”

“Yes. She’s known all along what I was. I was still one when we first met.” He left her standing there, thinking about what she’d learned. In light of his situation, Castiel thought he needed to share one more thing with Jo. He went to their cabin.

Opening one trunk, Cas removed items until he reached those at the bottom. While that suit Jimmy had been wearing was long gone due to rips and tears that couldn’t be repaired, not to mention the mud, blood, and grass stains, Castiel had kept the coat.

_Please tell me you’re not going to try it on like an aging superhero longing for the good old bad days._

_No, I’m not. Relax._

_Good. Because if you do that, I’ll have to start yelling. It’s the past. Leave it there._

It was a symbol of who and what he’d been and what he’d never be again. From a human perspective, he could see why Dean had called them all dicks. None of them had been particularly likeable. He wondered why Dean had persisted with him.

_Maybe because you were different even then? Even when you were going with the flow, you didn’t go with the flow. Face it, Castiel, you’ve always stood out in a crowd. Even Anna singled you out._

_Sometimes standing out isn’t a good thing_. He unfolded the coat with gentle fingers and found what he’d been searching for, right where he’d left it.

_What’s with the knife?_

_I want to show it to Jo, tell her about it and how to use it._

_It’s a knife. What’s to explain?_

_It’s my duty knife, Jimmy. Like a service revolver. I want her to know what it does to angels in case they start showing up with bad intentions._

_A human can kill an angel? That seems somehow wrong._

Castiel set it aside and began putting items back. Jimmy hadn’t been awake and aware enough to know much about that knife. _As long as one of our knives is used, a human can kill an angel. It’s difficult for a human to get one. Nearly impossible._

_How do you know it’ll work?_

_Dean used it once in a last ditch effort to stop one of Zachariah’s buddies. I don’t know who was more surprised when it worked: him, the angel, or me. We’d always been told that only an angel can kill an angel._ Closing the trunk, he picked up the knife and stood. _I’ve learned a lot of things I thought were true were false._

He set the knife on the table, grabbed a pack of cards and sat down to wait for Jo to return.

~~~~~~~~~~

Even with the ritual, Zachariah could no longer bend time. He raged over the injustice of that and wondered which one of his brothers had dared to touch his powers. He muttered all the way to Dean Winchester’s pitiful little camp. If he couldn’t thwart one thing, he’d stop another.

First, he’d kill Jo Harvelle and that abomination inside her, and then he’d deprive Dean Winchester of his precious wife. He wouldn’t do it directly. No, there were always humans that were very easy to manipulate. He suspected it’d be easy to find one that continued to have the hots for Castiel despite his relationship with Jo. After all, the sort of human life he’d lived for awhile wasn’t exactly chaste.

Zachariah looked forward to seeing Castiel’s face when he found Jo and the child dead. Or dying. Either would be lovely. Castiel had been a thorn in his side for far longer than Castiel could even remember. It was inconceivable that being made human hadn’t broken him completely.

And Dean. Uncooperative Dean. Why should he have happiness when Zachariah’s dreams were smashed? If he’d only done what he was supposed to, none of this would ever have happened.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dean was having a pleasant dream about Risa and three children. In his dream, Risa was extremely pregnant, playing with two small children, a boy and a girl. The children were perhaps four. The boy looked to be slightly older than the girl, slim and taller than she was, with eyes a vibrant blue that didn’t look natural. The girl had that adorable pudgy look some young children have, her long dark hair loose down her back. Both children were laughing and Risa, too, was laughing, her smile showing no strain that was often present these days.

His dream self walked towards them.

Dean.

The voice rang in his head, interrupting his dream. He recognized the voice without having ever heard it before. Michael. It was loud, a little too much at first, then toning down to something a bit more pleasant.

_I wish to speak with you, Dean. Can you hear me? Dean? I’m trying not to hurt you with the volume. I’m…inexperienced with this sort of communication. Please. Can you hear me?_

His dream self turned, looking for the source of the voice even as the dream scene dissolved into nothingness. _Oh, so **now** you want to chat? Where’ve you dicks been?_

_There were…extenuating circumstances to our absence. I apologize if you thought I wasn’t listening. I was trying to listen and was unable to hear for a long while. It was not of my volition. The volume, is it bearable?_

_Sure is. What do you want?_

There was silence for a long moment. _To help you._

Dean laughed. _Tell me another one. I can use the laughter._

Michael’s voice was impatient. _I’m being very serious. I couldn’t come when you called for me for the simple fact that we were being disciplined. A veil was over the earth and I couldn’t hear you until after the fact. As the oldest, I’ve been charged with ‘cleaning up the mess’ we made, starting with Lucifer._

Dean snorted. _I begged, pleaded, and you didn’t answer. Forget it._

He sighed. _The Colt you’re pinning all of your hopes on won’t work. He’s one of the things it won’t kill. You can’t kill him, Dean, but I can take care of him._

_Take care of him_ , he repeated. _You mean kill him._

_No. I’m not allowed to kill him._

_Why?_

_Because we jumped the gun. We pushed for the end before God had even scheduled it. It’s not on His timetable, so Lucifer must be re-imprisoned. It’s too late for you to do it, but you and I together have the ability._

_Isn’t that just peachy? No._

_I’m prepared to offer you anything you ask of me._

_Anything at all?_

_I promise._

_Magnanimous of you._

_It is, actually_. Michael sighed again. _Dean, may I manifest as a version of yourself? I find it difficult to interact with you without a dream body for you to relate to._

_Me talking to me? No. Creepy, dude._

An annoyed growl. _Very well. I shall adapt._ John Winchester appeared. He was the young John Dean had met once, not the older, worn, tired one. He raised his hands. _Will this be acceptable?_

_Still creepy, but I think I can live with it._

_Excellent. As I was saying, I’ll give you whatever you ask for, and I’ll make certain you’re in perfect health upon leaving your body._

_Why should I trust you?_

_Why shouldn’t you?_

_You have to ask that question? Seriously?_

There was silence for a long moment, Michael frowning. _Fair enough. I suppose few of us have engendered trust in our meetings._ His shrug was almost helpless. _We need you, Dean. Not to bring paradise, but to re-imprison Lucifer before he fully destroys the earth and makes it uninhabitable for survivors. We have a timetable. The clock is ticking down to the very last moment possible to stop it all. In two weeks, he will cause an earthquake that sets off a chain reaction along all the fault lines across the globe. What happened to Illinois is nothing. This will be global. One quake will trigger the next until a full third of the earth is essentially gone. That’s the fail point, Dean. He must be stopped before then._

_And if we don’t?_

_The end comes. Chuck’s writings are done, Castiel, Jo, their child, you, Risa, everyone in the entire world will have a short while longer to live. The heavens will fall to the earth, locusts will eat your crops, disease will spread faster, the water will turn sour and undrinkable…. Need I continue?_

He turned away, thought a moment, then turned back. _Why not just let it come?_

_Do you love your family, Dean? Not only your wife, but your friends as well. Castiel, Jo, Chuck. Do you love all of them?_

_Of course I do._ He loved them with differing levels of that feeling, but he did love all of them.

_Well, I love my family, too. Even when they’re disobedient and willful, I still love them and I don’t want to lose any more than I already have. You lost Sam to Lucifer. Imagine losing hundreds of siblings you dearly love forever, never to see them again._

_You feel that pain?_ He could imagine it with ease, the unceasing waves of grief, attacking over and over. It surprised him that Michael felt it. He thought angels didn’t feel the way humans did.

_Some of us do feel emotions. Archangels, the class directly below us…. Emotions for the rest were capped to varying degrees depending on the job they were given to perform. I do know and understand grief. The extent of it that I’ll feel when judgment comes…. I will nearly drown from it_. Michael watched him with an expression of defeat, as though he was anticipating refusal and was trying to keep his hopes from rising too far. _We have a chance to stop it, to stay it. I have the chance to maybe save some of my brethren, convince them to ask for forgiveness. I have to try. Please, Dean._

The archangel’s gaze pleaded. He seemed terrified by that word ‘judgment’.

_Before paradise there must be judgment. It’ll come for all, even us. We forgot that part. When our Father returned home --_

_He’s home? He’s back up there?_

_Yes. He made it clear where our choices have brought us. There are consequences to both paths, Dean, and when I weigh them both, I find I’d prefer to attempt stopping this end of all. Even angels have consequences to our actions. We all, humans as well, must face what we’ve done and ask for forgiveness. If we stop it, we can ask freely for forgiveness and have it given for that asking. If this continues, mercy is done. Final judgment upon all will commence. All will be judged._

_Why did you wait this long to see me? I mean, if judgment is hanging so close over all our heads._

_I had to take care of a few things before I could even think of approaching you. You have a single day to make your decision. Any longer and I don’t believe we can finish our altercation with Lucifer in time. Meet me at Castiel’s favorite rest stop with your answer anytime in the afternoon._

_How do I know you’re telling the truth?_

_Tomorrow there’ll be a hailstorm at nine forty-five in the morning followed by a tornado. You will lose five of your people from the hail and while the tornado won’t touch down in your camp, you’ll see it coming, feel the power of it, and watch it miss you. Stay inside your camp, Dean. Keep your people inside the fences and you’ll only lose the five._

Dread slid along his skin. _Who will we lose,_ he asked, but Michael had already disappeared.

He woke and climbed from bed. After dressing, he woke Risa, extracted a promise from her to stay inside, then hurried from cabin to cabin, ordering his people inside until afternoon. Some questioned, most didn’t. He stayed awake the rest of the night, waiting for the storm.

When it came, it was a doozey, the sky a sickly green, the hail huge, immediately followed by the rumbling of the tornado Michael had told Dean about. Dean could see it approaching in the sky, probably what would have been classed as an EF5. It was immense, terrifying to behold. The hairs on his arms stood up, tension keeping his shoulders tight. He watched it lift up back into the dark clouds, a massive whirling overhead and ran to the window on the other side of the cabin to see where it went and what it did. The swirling of the clouds was almost hypnotic.

Risa’s nails dug into his arm. “It’s going to miss us,” she whispered, half in question.

He didn’t answer, leaning forward, watching for when it would touch back down. As long as it got to the hill, it’d miss them completely. The clouds passed over the hill and as it slipped from sight, he saw the funnel descend once more.

“Oh, thank God,” Risa said, sinking to the floor and drawing her knees up. She pressed her face to her knees, her relief almost palpable in the air about her. “It missed us.”

Michael had told him the truth.

Dean stepped outside to see who had been caught outside, hoping and praying it wasn’t anyone he loved. He braced himself for whatever he found.

With relief, he discovered those he loved lived and was immediately ashamed for the relief. They’d lost Carrie, Jane, Hank, Ryan, and Nick and no more. Only the five and all to hail. He was saddened to discover that Carrie and Ryan had died when hail punched through the roofs of their cabins. While they’d heeded his warning, they’d still died. Five total.

Michael was waiting. Did he say no and let the world finish dying along with everyone he loved? Or did he say yes and maybe have a shot at ending this? He didn’t expect Michael would keep his word. He didn’t expect to come through that fight anything other than a drooling, pathetic mess. Very few angels had been anything near decent, but the desperation he’d seen in Michael’s expression and heard in his voice had been very real.

Dean weighed both options. He agonized over what he knew. Could he say no realizing that the joy Cas and Jo felt over their baby was going to be destroyed? Could he say no understanding that Risa would die sooner rather than later, without experiencing that same joy Jo felt? Could he say no with the knowledge that it really was down to him now to attempt to save them all?

At the same time, could he say yes, walk away now, and return the way he suspected he would? Could he leave them all with only the shell of him remaining knowing he’d saved them by doing this?

The decision was not an easy one. If anything, it was far more difficult than it had been that time he’d called out. Then, he’d cried out from desperation. Now, he made an informed decision based on many factors, desperation simply one of the many.

“God help me,” he whispered as he reached for his jacket.

Dean kissed Risa, told her he loved her and that he was going to make the rounds again, and slipped from the camp. He had a meeting to get to.


	14. Chapter 14

On the entire drive to see Michael, Dean second-guessed his decision. What was the right one? Was he wrong? His stomach churned. Did it really matter which option he chose? His world would be over no matter which answer he gave. If he agreed, he’d be a drooling mess. If he didn’t, he’d die soon anyway. It was a no-win situation for him, so he thought of those he loved. Over and over, Dean agonized.

He parked in front of the building and got out of the vehicle. “I’m here,” he yelled.

_There’s no need to shout, Dean. I hear you._

The clearing grew bright with light, the warmth bathing Dean. He looked up. His hands trembled and he shoved them in his pockets.

_Before you give your answer, Dean, there’s something else you should be aware of. I would have told you yesterday if I’d known. I apologize. I was unaware of this development when I left you yesterday._

“What is it?”

Dean listened and by the time Michael was done speaking, his answer was set and firm. He made sure Michael understood the condition of his acceptance. He wasn’t going to do anything without an assurance his condition was agreed upon. To his surprise, Michael agreed with no haggling.

“You agree?” It couldn’t be that easy. He’d expected to argue, to need to lay out his reasons one by one.

_I do._

“No negotiating, no bargaining, just…agreement?”

_Do you wish an argument, Dean? I’d accommodate you, but time is limited. Your conditions are reasonable._

He looked around the rest stop. “No, I don’t want to argue. Just…as long as we’re agreed, then….” He took his hands from his pockets, wiped his still damp palms on his jeans, licked his lips. There was a sense of anticipation in the air, the breeze swirling the treetops. “Yes. Yes. I’m saying yes.”

_You’re certain?_

“I am.”

The earth shook in violent spasms, nearly knocking him from his feet, the light brighter than before, and hot against his skin. He felt sweat drip down his face. There was a piercing screeching noise in the air, ringing like the gonging of a bell. He smelled earth and rain, then a thousand smells of summer. Honeysuckle and evergreen, watermelon and ripe corn. Pleasant scents rolled over him in a rush. He could scarcely identify one before it was gone. Was this part of it? Or was his mind rebelling, trying to make this experience something better than what it really was? The air was so hot that it hurt to draw in a breath, his lungs burning.

I’m drowning, he thought, gasping, staggering back. I’m drowning on air.

Dean saw the treetops begin to bend over, touching the earth, as though bowing to Michael’s presence. It felt like ants were crawling over his skin. No, not ants. Spiders, skittering over his flesh. Dean couldn’t think, couldn’t begin to think, his mind blank of everything except the static that hurt for several long seconds….

He felt the light inside him then, spreading out, the weight of his body dropping away from him until he felt like he was floating. The discomfort was gone. How was it possible to feel light? It was what Claire had told him and what Jimmy had once said all at once. The comet comment made a helluva lot of sense now.

He still didn’t believe Michael’s promise that he’d be okay when all was done, but if they succeeded, he thought his life was worth the lives of his family and friends.

His hands raised, turned this way and that, Michael studying Dean’s body.

“Do you wish to remain awake, Dean?”

He heard his own voice speaking, only lower, gravelly, as though the raw power of Michael was changing it. _Can you do that_ , he asked, feeling weird as all hell because he knew he was talking yet he also knew his lips weren’t moving.

“I can. It will take some effort on my part during the fight, but yes, I can allow you to know what’s happening. Lesser-powered angels do not have the ability to let their vessel surface for more than a minute or two here and there.”

It was strange to suddenly be airborne, to see the world from great heights passing by in seconds. Was this what Cas and Jimmy used to see? _I don’t think I want to be awake. I can’t watch you beat up Sam. I’ll let you do this, but I can’t watch it happen._

“I understand, but remember, he’s no longer fully Sam. Somehow, I doubt Sam will want to watch Lucifer beat you up. I’ll try my best not to damage him, Dean. The goal is to imprison Lucifer, not to hurt Sam.”

_Sometimes hurting is unavoidable_ , he replied. _Save your energy for the fight. Let’s finish this, once and for all._

Dean slipped into sleep before he was even aware he was going to.

~~~~~~~~~~

Michael stretched out inside Dean, adjusting carefully to the weight of a human body. It was…different and not entirely unpleasant. There was a strength to him in this body that had been lacking in his natural form. There were advantages to being corporeal, he decided. Strange to find an advantage in something he’d considered useless.

The earth looked different from a human perspective -- bigger, like he’d suddenly noticed just how much of it there really was. He let Dean’s memories slide over him, trying to understand the emotions he had for his friends and understand why Dean had agreed. As much as Michael himself could feel, he didn’t feel the depths Dean felt. Dean’s emotions were like an ocean that just went on and on, layer after layer, connection after connection. Was Dean unique in that? Or did all humans have such wells of emotions? It hadn’t occurred to him before that the subject of emotion could be so complex and yet it was. Very much so, in fact.

Was this what Castiel knew and had known? How…intriguing. Perhaps when this was all over he’d take a closer look at the subject.

Shaking his -- Dean’s -- head, Michael pushed aside all thoughts of Castiel and what that one did or didn’t know.

He gave Dean the choice of sleeping or waking, unsurprised when Dean chose sleep. To see Sam in the state Lucifer likely had him in would grieve him and, as Dean said, Michael needed to save his energy for the fight. Besides, he was not to cause Dean unnecessary grief. If he could shield him from anything, he was to do so.

He waited for Lucifer on the chosen field, glance turning to the sky. Lucifer would have seen the signs of Michael’s journey to earth and known the day was here. He would come.

~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel was the last to step into the main lodge. He saw Jo and Risa there already, with Chuck off to one side. He’d come because Natalie had told him it was urgent.

Mya was crying, her sobs husky and soft, rocking back and forth in her chair.

“I don’t know what’s wrong,” Rick said. “She just started screaming and holding her head.”

They all looked at him as though he knew what was wrong with Mya. He had the bad feeling that he did know.

Kneeling, Cas took her hands in his, the first time he’d touched her bare skin. It felt like an electrical shock passed between them and he let go from it, gasping. She jerked back, shivering. Slowly, cautiously, Castiel reached out touching her hands once more. There was no shock this time and Mya began to calm somewhat. “Are you okay?”

Her breaths slowed. Some of the tension slipped from her face. “I can’t feel you anymore,” she replied. “You were there and now you’re not. You are, I mean, but not….” She shook her head. “Not like the other now. What the _hell_ was that?”

“Can you tell me what happened?”

She sniffed. “Before?” At his confirming nod, she went on. “It was like feeling I had that night I woke up, only even more. You remember I told you about it?”

Behind him, he heard Rick asking what she meant and ignored him. “I remember. Was it double the power level do you think?”

She laughed a little. “More like exponentially more powerful.”

Cas bent his head, a knot of dread and tension growing inside his stomach.

“What’s that mean,” Rick asked. “Exponentially more powerful? _What’s_ more powerful?”

Castiel looked at him, then at Risa, Jo, and Chuck. “I’m guessing it means the Archangel Michael has come to earth. Power like that? That’s all it could be.”

Chuck paled and took a few steps back, a guilty shifting in his eyes, while Jo and Risa exchanged a fearful glance.

“Archangel?” Rick sat down beside Mya. “Are you serious?”

“Completely.” Cas released Mya once more and stood. “There’s one reason I can think of for him to come to earth --”

“Dean. I haven’t seen him in hours now.” Risa grasped what he was saying and turned to Chuck, hands on his arms. She shook him so hard he stumbled. “Where’s Dean? Tell me, Chuck! Where’s my husband?”

Tears shone in Chuck’s eyes. “He’s gone to save us all.”

The sky began to darken until it was like night had descended. The ground shook in the familiar feel of an earthquake. Somewhere in the building, Cas heard the crash of glass breaking.

Chuck pulled from her grasp. “I’m sorry. There’s no stopping it now.”

“You knew, didn’t you,” Cas asked him, taking a step towards him.

“I’m sorry,” Chuck repeated, shaking his head. “I’m so sorry.”

“How does it end?”

“I don’t know, Cas. I haven’t seen any of it, not one bit. I doubt I will until it’s done.”

Risa was stricken, her shoulders shaking, one hand covering her mouth as she tried to hold back her sobs. “No,” she moaned. “Dean!”

Cas reached out and pulled her to him, holding her while she cried, supporting her when her legs seemed to give out. He was grateful when Jo joined them, her arms joining his around Risa.

All they could do now was wait.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Michael.” Delight flashed in eyes that were once Sam Winchester’s.

“Lucifer.” Michael nodded.

“Do you really think you can defeat me a second time, brother?”

“You’ll be cast back into your prison,” he corrected. It wasn’t a case of defeat. Not this time.

“You can try.”

“I’ll succeed.” He spoke with a quiet confidence. “I can’t let you destroy the earth any further.”

Lucifer smiled and raised a hand, beckoning Michael forward. “Let’s see what you’ve got.” He turned his head, rolled it on his neck, bones cracking. “I’ve waited so long for this.”

“I know you have. Anything to say?”

“It’s all been said.”

The fight was messy. Lucifer had no qualms about endangering as many humans as possible in his quest to win the battle and remain free. Cities fell across the world in the aftermath, the earth shaking. Dust flew into the sky, turning day into night.

Michael found himself hurled into the Atlantic, the impact resulting in a tsunami that he knew killed as many as the earthquakes. Back and forth they went across the earth, Michael shielding Dean as best he could from the battle. Days passed. Finally, he was able to get a firm grip on Lucifer.

Below them was the prison, open and ready -- a team effort. Gabriel and Raphael had done their part well. He said the words he’d been given to pull Lucifer from Sam’s body, words their Father had told him to use if he had the chance. It was very much like how humans exorcised a demon. As he was forcefully separated from Sam, the light of him flaring free, Michael ripped a stunned Lucifer out the rest of the way and cast him down, kicking and screaming, into that prison. Even as he was locked away once more, Lucifer couldn’t believe he’d been beaten.

The earth settled to normal, the pangs upon it fading, the sky clearing, revealing blue sky and the bright sun.

It should be raining, Michael thought. It shouldn’t be nice on a day meant for grief.

Michael laid Sam Winchester out upon the ground, healing what he was able, cringing a little at the damage Lucifer had done to Sam. He’d known the human body could take quite a bit of abuse, but this was excessive, unfixable and wholly unnecessary. Sam was irrevocably damaged. Dean was going to be devastated. Michael read the broken paths of Sam’s memories, pieced together that information Dean craved to know -- why Sam had gone to Lucifer. Dean craved answers, needed to know that there’d been some good left in Sam. What Michael found was surprising and more than a little confusing to him.

How did the saying go? The road to hell was paved with good intentions?

Sam had left Dean with good intentions. He’d wanted to get his head on straight and then he’d decided to hunt Lucifer. He’d let the demon near him for information, but anger at each hunter attack on him ate at him. A small part of him had listened well to what the demon said to him. He’d wondered if he really was a monster, which led to a few bad decisions when doubt in himself and his motives overwhelmed him. He _had_ been twisted. He _had_ become jealous of Castiel. That jealous part of what Jo and Ellen had seen was genuine.

His pain over Dean refusing his calls had been a deep chasm inside him, something that couldn’t be filled or bridged.

When Ellen and Jo had come to him, he’d tried everything he could think of to get them to leave before he confronted Lucifer, for he still cared for both of them. He’d known Ellen would be pissed when he talked like that and hoped Jo would be to, but Jo surprised him by staying. Sam had needed to change tactics with her, find a way to thoroughly repulse her. He’d known Jo didn’t have any desire to rule the world with him and when Jo tried to talk him out of it, he’d tossed hateful words at her, wanting to drive her away before she got hurt or killed. In his mind, he was protecting them.

He hadn’t been as far down as Ellen and Jo thought, though he _had_ sunk. He really had been ripe for Lucifer.

Sam Winchester had had a plan. He was strong, right? He’d build himself up, let Meg think she was preparing him, accept Lucifer, and take control. He’d keep him contained. He’d do it himself, take care of the Lucifer problem and clean up what he’d begun. He’d do what Dean -- and Sam himself -- didn’t really think he could. The only problem with it was that, without Dean, he _wasn’t_ strong enough. His reason for acting was misguided, his plan lacking follow-through. He needed Dean and Dean hadn’t been there.

Sam had needed Dean -- Team Winchester saving the world -- and one lone person wasn’t a team. He’d been willing to try though, even if it meant he ended up sacrificing himself with no good coming from it. He had to try to end it all.

Summarily, Lucifer gobbled him up and laughed at his attempts to break free from that stranglehold and take control. He’d laughed at Sam’s plan and at his attempt to be a hero, mocked him for it and his noble intentions. Then, he’d gagged him and made him remain awake through the worst parts of his reign on earth. The blood drinking, the massacres. He’d made Sam watch everything, even the fight they’d just had.

Michael rechecked Sam and shook his head. What he’d done was sufficient for Dean and Sam to say goodbye -- whatever choice Dean and Sam both made in the end.

He knelt and wept for his brother.

~~~~~~~~~~

“How’s Mya,” Jo asked as Castiel stepped into the cabin. She was seated at the card table, a game of solitaire spread out in front of her.

Castiel took his jacket off and hung it up. “Sleeping.” Though she’d had a brief respite of the pain, it had returned. In a moment of desperation to help her, he’d discovered his power to make people sleep had come back. A forced sleep offered her slight relief.

There was another angel hanging around the camp, though the power level wasn’t nearly as high as when Dean had disappeared six days earlier. Mya claimed it wasn’t Castiel’s presence that hurt her; that the pain from his presence had dissipated with that shock when he’d touched her bare hand with his. She seemed sure it wasn’t him that was hurting her at all.

Cas could feel the other angel there, somewhere in the camp, though he couldn’t identify him.

Jo nodded, flipping over three cards. She’d taken the watch earlier in the day, sitting with Mya, talking to her to try to distract her from the pain in her head. They took turns sitting with her. Rick was worried sick for her. “And Risa?”

“Continues to be despondent. I made her sleep as well.” Risa grieved without knowing Dean’s fate. She’d refused to sleep voluntarily, only doing so when her body rebelled or Castiel made her. Constant tears wet her face.

“You _made_ her?” She turned her head, watching him as he crossed to her, her gaze thoughtful. “Tell me, Cas, how did you make Risa sleep?”

“I stretched out my hand and willed her to rest.”

She abandoned the cards, crossing her arms. Discomfort sparked in her eyes. “So you’ve got that power back now, too. Peachy.” She shifted a little. “What else?”

He didn’t hesitate to answer. There were a couple more he’d noticed as the days without Dean passed. “My level of physical strength has increased and I seem to be tuning back into hearing thoughts, reading memories. I have…virtually no control over when it comes and goes right now, but it was like that when it left me. I can only assume that it’ll return to how it was and I’ll soon be able to do it at will.”

“And the rest? What’s next?”

Cas shrugged and when he went to touch her and reassure her, she slipped from the chair, placing the table between them. “Jo?” She’d deliberately moved out of his reach.

“What powers are we still waiting on? How much time do we have left before you ‘angel-up’ the rest of the way and….” Her lower lip trembled, her hands resting on her stomach. She’d begun doing that a lot -- touching her stomach, patting it even though she wasn’t showing.

_And leave me forever. Leave us._

He caught that stray thought and it about gutted him. Cas moved in a blink, before she’d realize he’d moved, materializing behind her, his arms going around her, holding her tight to him. Mouth at her ear, he spoke softly. “I made a vow to you, Jo. No matter what powers I have or how much of what I was I become, I’ll keep that vow. I love you. That hasn’t changed. It’s you for the rest of my life and no other.” He slid one hand onto her belly, caressing.

“What happens when your emotions fade?” A hint of desperation in her voice. It occurred to him that she was just as frightened of that as he was. They were both dreading that day.

“You’re not going to lose me, Jo.”

“Why are you so certain?”

He turned her, cupped her face in his hands, placing a gentle kiss on her lips. “I love you.”

It wasn’t an answer, but she accepted it as one, laying her head on his chest and slipping her arms around him. He didn’t know if she could lose him or not.

Castiel found himself praying to the Father he’d given up hope on that he could have that happily ever after with Jo. He stood holding her, pouring out his pain on the subject of their future, hoping that someone was listening, yet fearing that no one was.

~~~~~~~~~~

An hour after Castiel left to check on Risa, Jo heard a tapping on the doorframe.

“Yeah?”

To her surprise, Vanessa took a cautious step inside. “Hi. I…I know I haven’t been the nicest, but…can we talk?” Her smile was shy. “I brought some tea. Natalie said you like the flavored kind, so I mixed up some of that powdered stuff we found.” She held up a small jug and two cups. “It’s decaf.”

She studied the girl, then nodded. “Okay.” The visit was odd, since Vanessa had seemed to wish to ignore her presence entirely since that outburst in the laundry. “We’ll talk awhile.”

Vanessa came inside, set the cups down and poured the tea. She placed one cup by Jo. “Here. This is really great, you taking the time for me like this.”

“It’s not a problem.”

“No, I mean it. We’ve never had a real good talk and I guess I should, you know, face how things are. Get to know you a little.”

Jo glanced at the clock. Claire would be here soon and she’d have a good excuse to get rid of Vanessa. She took a drink of tea. Instant flavored decaf. Vanessa asked if it was okay. It wasn’t like any sweet tea Ellen had made, but it was decent for the powdered stuff it was, with the faint flavor of peach and an aftertaste she couldn’t quite identify. “It’s fine, Vanessa. What did you want to talk about?”

“Just a couple things.” Vanessa paced around the cabin, holding her own cup, her attention returning over and over to the bed, making Jo even warier of her intentions. “How are you? I mean you, not Cas. I know how Cas is, always in perfect health. He’s fine. But how are you?”

“Healthy I guess. Why?” She sipped at the tea, trying to place what it was she was tasting. Was it the sweetener?

The younger woman ignored the question and as the questions continued, Jo realized Vanessa refused to mention the word ‘baby’. She skirted around it, her conversation rambling. Jo wondered if this talk had any point to it as the minutes ticked by. She almost hoped Claire would be early. She didn’t really want to spend too much more time with Vanessa.

“You must have been born under a lucky star. Is such a thing possible? Or maybe you had a guardian angel looking out for you. First you survive outside for years, then you stumble upon Cas. How weird is that? You just came upon him out there and he….” She stopped in front of the bed, staring at it. “He liked you so much and you got,” she gulped as though she could barely choke out the next word, “pregnant when no one else could.”

“Never meant to get pregnant you know.” Jo decided she’d had enough of the tea and slid her cup aside, moving towards the door. “Why don’t we go sit outside? It’s a nice day out.” Not to mention there could be people to witness anything strange that Vanessa might do.

“Outside. Right.” She turned back to face Jo, right hand reaching under her jacket, around to her back for a moment before she brought it back into the open. It was empty. “Okay. Let’s go outside.”

Outside, Jo didn’t feel any better about their talk. Vanessa was jittery, nervous, occasionally peering at her as though she expected something she wasn’t seeing. She began to feel…off, not quite right. “Look, Vanessa --”

“Hey guys! Jo! Van!” Kylie appeared, waving as she approached on the path. “What’s going on?”

Jo raised a hand to her brow. She didn’t feel good period. Something was definitely wrong…. She felt sweat on her forehead, her heartbeat quickening.

“Go away, Ky,” Vanessa snapped.

“Why? What --”

“You’re going to ruin everything!”

“Okay,” Kylie held up her hands in a placating gesture. “Calm down. Ruin what? What are you talking about?”

The two girls began to argue, back and forth, the words ceasing to make sense to Jo as she realized what that taste from the tea was. “Stupid,” she whispered to herself. “That was stupid.” Vanessa had drugged her and Jo had blithely drunk from the cup that had been placed in front of her. She leaned against the table, swaying a little.

But why drug her? To what purpose? What did Vanessa think she was going to accomplish?

~~~~~~~~~~

Kylie was worried about Vanessa. For days now Van had been behaving even weirder than usual, going silent on the subject of Castiel. Occasionally, she’d smile a smug little grin and sigh. So when she saw Vanessa talking to Jo outside by Cas and Jo’s cabin, she thought it might be a good idea to make a casual approach and see what Van was up to. It wasn’t a secret she was insanely jealous of Jo, so why was she talking to her?

“I have to eliminate the competition. He was very clear that _she_ is all that’s keeping Cas from me.”

“Are you, like, delusional? Who was clear? What are you talking about?”

Reaching behind her, Vanessa pulled out a knife. The length was wicked, the blade gleaming. “Eliminate, Kylie. Are you stupid? I have to kill her.”

“Whoa, wait, Van, what are you doing? Put down the knife. Come on. Let’s talk about this, okay?”

Vanessa snorted, pointing the knife at her, disdain in her voice. “Shut up, Kylie. You think I don’t know how you’ve turned on me? You’re just like everyone else, under her spell. That’s all it is, Ky, don’t you see? She’s some kind of witch and he said this knife will kill a witch and end her spells. Once she’s dead, Cas will be mine. He promised. He said it’d happen.”

The enormity of Vanessa’s delusion swept over her like a rushing wind. This was worse than she’d thought and that knife was awfully big. Slowly, she tried to maneuver herself so that she was between Van and Jo. Why was Jo just standing there? Why wasn’t she doing anything? Running would be a good idea at this point. “Stop. This is wrong. Come on, just leave Jo alone. Come with me, away from here, and we’ll talk about this.”

“I’ve had about enough of your talking, your incessant chatter about nothing. You’re a useless little whore, just like her, Ky.”

“If you don’t want to talk to me, then let’s find Cas. We’ll sit down with him and --”

Jo was leaning on the picnic table, shaking her head slowly. “You drugged me. Why? What did I ever do to you?” Her words were slurred.

Vanessa’s laugh was harsh and ugly. “You really don’t know? Man stealing whore! He was mine and you took him!”

“Do you really think anyone could make Cas do what he didn’t want to do?” The stare Jo turned to her was sad and tired. “He’s not yours. Even if I’m gone, he won’t be yours.”

“Shut up, shut up, shut up!”

Vanessa stepped forward, shoving Kylie aside and ramming the knife into Jo’s side. Kylie saw the pain on Jo’s face, heard her agonized cry, and then Vanessa was whirling upon her, the knife in her hands slashing, stabbing, hurting. She fell to the ground, trying to shield her face, her body, but the knife kept dipping to her.

The last thing she saw before the world faded from view was Claire, turning and running from the clearing.

~~~~~~~~~~

They were going to have a good afternoon. Claire was sure of it. She and Jo were going to really talk, like Claire had been wanting to do for awhile now. Jo had promised they would.

As she approached the cabin, she heard voices arguing and slowed her strides. Maybe she’d wait until they were done and sneak inside. Peering around the corner, she was able to see what was going on, registering Vanessa’s words with a bit of a shock. Claire clamped her hands over her mouth as Vanessa hurt Jo, then turned her anger onto Kylie.

Blood splashed in the air, Kylie’s screams not nearly as loud as Claire thought they should be.

She stood, barely breathing, half afraid Vanessa was going to come after her. A man appeared, something in his expression breaking Claire’s paralysis. Turning, she ran.

She had to find Cas and quickly.

~~~~~~~~~~

In his cabin, Chuck wrote, tears halfway obscuring his vision. This was the part he hated the most.

The final loss of a friend.

Please, he thought. I don’t want to see this.

But the vision came anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~

The pain was terrible. Jo thought her guts were going to slip out the hole in her side and spill out to the ground. She held the wound, as though doing so might lessen the pain and keep her insides from becoming her outsides. Her knees buckled. Jo fell heavily onto the ground, screaming, head turning.

Vanessa stood over Kylie’s prone form. The other woman’s blood wet her clothes.

“Very good, Vanessa.” A man appeared from nowhere, his self-satisfied smile oily, his voice unctuous. “You’re very obedient. I like my human acquaintances to be obedient. It makes things simpler, you see.”

“I did it. I did what you said. She’s there.” She pointed at Jo with one hand. “The knife went deep.”

“I saw.”

“Is he mine now?”

“About that….” The man slid one hand into his pants pocket. “I’m afraid I may have misled you on that a tad. You’re not actually going to _get_ Castiel.” With a snap of his fingers, Vanessa was gasping for breath, dropping the knife, falling to the ground herself. “I do appreciate your efforts, Vanessa.”

“Who are you,” Jo said, trying not to move in any way, shape, or form.

“Oh, you don’t know me,” he replied, stepping over Vanessa’s now still form to approach her. “I however, know quite a lot about you, Joanna Beth Harvelle. I know you’re pregnant and that you’re hoping for a last minute rescue, but let me tell you, Jo, you’re going to be disappointed. You see, you’re dying. You’re bleeding out. Every second that passes leads you closer to death. There’s a Reaper here, waiting, in case you’re wondering.” He pointed behind her. “Right over there. It’s inevitable. You’re going to die and Castiel….” His smile was gleeful. “He’ll break from it. That, Jo, I can’t wait for.”

“Go to hell,” she spat.

“Oh no. I’m an angel. We only go there to rescue disobedient, ungrateful children like Dean Winchester. I won’t go to hell.”

“You so sure about that?” It was an effort to talk. “Because if I remember right, there’s a Lake of Fire for angels gone bad.”

“Who says I’m bad? This could all be…orders.” He licked his lips. “Feeling woozy there? A little numb? Cold perhaps?”

Jo could taste copper in the back of her mouth, her tongue dry, sticking to the roof of her mouth.

I love you, Cas, she thought, hoping that if he could hear anything, he could hear her in these last minutes.

As though her thought had called him, he appeared.

~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel was grateful for the flash of ability that let him see what Claire had seen. He took no time to calm her or ask further questions. Jo was hurt and there was no time to waste. He willed himself to the clearing outside their cabin, grasping the knife he’d kept with him since Dean had disappeared with Michael, ready to attack the second he appeared.

But then he saw Jo crumpled on the ground, blood on her clothes, her hands, her gaze pain-filled and fearful. It was too late, he could see it, _feel_ it. It was already too late for him to save Jo. He could see the Reaper waiting, knew what it meant. She only had a short while left.

Off to one side were Kylie and Vanessa, both motionless. Standing over all of them was a familiar angel whose presence made Castiel’s gut clench.

Zachariah.

Zachariah turned. “Hello, Castiel.”

He could hear Jo gasping for breath, but he didn’t dare move to her. “What do you want?”

“Your pain.” He smiled. “She’s dying. You can’t save her. You’re human and weak, with _feelings_ for her and that _thing_ growing inside her.”

Did Zachariah not know about some of Castiel’s powers returning? Couldn’t he feel Cas? Castiel could feel _his_ presence. He narrowed his eyes. “I’m going to kill you.”

Zachariah laughed. “Oh, that’s a nice empty threat, boy. Give me some credit. You can’t hurt me, even with that knife. Only an angel can kill an angel and I made sure you were rendered harmless years ago. It was my pleasure to make you helpless. You’ve caused me far too much trouble.”

“You.”

“Me alone. A last parting gift. You liked humans so much, it was fitting you become one.”

Time was running out for Jo. He could hear it in her wheezing breaths, see it on her face. In no scenario he could imagine did this end well for her and their baby. “I _will_ kill you.”

“You’re ten kinds of stupid, Castiel. Always were.”

“You do remember that hubris was one of Lucifer’s biggest sins?”

“I’m better than Lucifer.” He spread his arms out. “I’m still here.”

“Not for long.” Castiel started forward.


	15. Chapter 15

_Sam?_ Dean came to with only the vague remembrance of the fight between Michael and Lucifer. He saw Sam on the ground before them, a flicker of awareness in his eyes.

“He can’t hear you yet, Dean. I’ll give you time to say goodbye. This will be the last time you can talk to Sam for a long time.”

He felt awareness of his body returning while the heat of the angel remained. Michael didn’t leave him. Why did he stay? What more was there to do? Dean stretched out one hand, touching Sam’s chest, half afraid Sam would disappear like Yoda had in Jedi. “Sam?”

Sam’s lips parted. “Dean.” His voice was weak, a mere strained whisper, so different from the last time he’d heard it. It wasn’t supposed to be like that. Sam was big, strong, not the broken, dying -- his mind hurried over that word, _dying_ \-- shell Dean saw now.

“I’m here.” _Fix him_ , he begged Michael. _I don’t care what you have to do, just fix him. Make him better._

_I can’t reverse the damage Lucifer did._

_Bullshit you can’t. I’ve seen what you guys can do. You’re powerful._

_Not that powerful_ , was the almost dry reply. _Ask Sam what he wants. Ask him if he wants rest or if he’d rather suffer the rest of his life as less than half a man. There’s a limit to the damage I can reverse. Let Sam go. If you don’t, as he is now, Sam won’t be fully…there. He’ll be just as trapped in a body that doesn’t function right as he was trapped with Lucifer in control. He’ll need constant care. Don’t you remember Raphael’s vessel? I know you saw him. He’ll be a slobbering mess, unable to communicate, just like that man. You’ll have to feed him, bathe him, dress him, all those things his mind cannot direct his body to do, while his mind remains active. He has enough mind at present to tell you, but don’t wait too long or it’ll be too late. I can’t keep him able to speak for long. Break the cycle, Dean. Please. Let him go and live your own life. Take the time to finally grieve for him._

_I can’t let him go, not when I‘ve got him back._

_You have to. He can’t be fixed. I’ve already done what I can for him._

_No._

“I see that.” Sam’s breaths were labored. “Never meant this to happen.”

“I know.” All the old emotions were welling up inside him, the hurt, the pain…the love. _You lied to me_ , he accused Michael. _You said I could have anything._

_Pick anything but that. Pick healthy, strong babies with Risa. Pick a blessing upon the earth. Pick a future for yourself, but don’t be selfish. Do you really need Sam more than he needs to finally have rest?_

“What do I do here, Sam? What do you want me to do? Michael…he says --”

“I’m tired, Dean. I tried to fix it all and I couldn’t.” His eyes rolled back, body going taut. It seemed an eternity before his body relaxed and his eyes once more looked at Dean. A trickle of blood slid from the side of his mouth and down his cheek. Dean took off his button-down shirt and used the tail of it to wipe that blood away. “I was going to make you proud and I screwed it all up.”

They talked in soft voices, discussing the matter at hand. Did Sam want to die? Did he want to make that final goodbye? Along with that was the other question, the one they didn’t talk about yet was there nonetheless. They both knew it was there. Could Dean take the full loss of Sam to death at this point? Could he function from the loss of Sam after just getting him back? He’d been able to deal partially with Sam hosting Lucifer mainly because he could imagine that Sam was still alive and out there in the world, but to have him completely gone?

Already he could feel an emptiness inside him growing, an emptiness that he knew Risa would never be able to fill. True, she made him feel whole, but with Sam and her both, he really _was_ whole for the first time. When he thought of Risa and Sam both there with him, he had a peace he’d never had.

His family made him complete.

_You forgive him Lucifer and all of the rest of it?_

_I love him, Michael. He’s my brother._

_Yes. I understand_. He heard a sigh. _You’re willing to give him that care? To treat him with kindness and gentleness for the rest of his life, knowing he can’t speak or move, but that he is in there?_

_I am._

There was a long pause and when he spoke, Michael’s voice was sad. _Oh Dean…. The two of you make me weep._

 

~~~~~~~~~~

He’d known what Dean would ask for. It didn’t take a genius to know. Nor did it take a genius to know that Sam wasn’t willing to leave Dean, not again. Michael asked them, over and over and sighed, gently pushing Dean back inside their body. He’d spent most of their conversation sighing in frustration. They wouldn’t listen. They wouldn’t break the cycle they’d been stuck in. He wondered if his Father found all of them to be as frustrating and stubborn as these two. If so, he was starting to genuinely understand why he’d taken an extended vacation. He was also beginning to understand Gabriel’s fondness for alcoholic beverages.

“Very well. If you both fully understand the consequences of this decision --”

Sam’s chuckle ended in a wet cough that racked his body. “I think I understand about consequences, Michael. I’ve had years of them. Your brother gave me my own personal hell and laughed the entire time. Believe me, watching Dean live his life around me won’t be nearly as bad as all of that was. It’ll be a pleasant rest itself compared to all that Lucifer made me see.”

_I’ll take care of him. It’s not the first time, Michael. I know it’ll be difficult. I don’t expect otherwise. I tried to let him go before and look what happened._

“You’re agreed?”

“Yes,” Sam answered.

_We are_ , was Dean’s reply.

Michael stretched out one hand and made Sam sleep. Soon, he’d take Sam to a safe place and finish all that he and Dean had yet to do. “I think I like you, Dean. For a human you’re bearable.”

_Gee thanks._

“I meant that as a compliment.”

_You guys need to learn how to give a compliment. Cas could give you lessons._

“Ahh, yes. Castiel. You realize that he’s not devoid of consequences himself? He, too, must face his actions.”

_I’m sure he’s aware of it. I think he, like Sam, could tell you a lot about consequences._

“Could he?”

_Look where his actions took him. He became human, lost his powers, his identity. He had to reinvent himself to survive._

Michael glanced at the heavens. “Well, Dean, about that…. There are a few things you need to know about Castiel’s journey. Allow me to start at the beginning.”

He told Dean all he knew, starting with that very first posting that Castiel didn’t as yet remember and working forward. It was a long tale.

~~~~~~~~~~

Chuck was bent over, his head cradled in his arms as he finished crying for that scene he’d written. Death scenes overwhelmed him, even more so once he knew they were real. He’d weep for the people and for those who’d loved them.

_Chuck._

He sat up, wiping his eyes. “What?” There was a petulant tone to his voice that he didn’t try to cover. It wasn’t fair that he had to witness such scenes.

_Pick up your pen._

“Why? Is there even more? Is Risa dying next? Or maybe Dean himself? How about that? What else could there be? Cas dying maybe? Is this a Greek tragedy, with all but me dead in the end?”

_You’ve some revisions to make, now listen carefully._

As the voice went on, Chuck frowned, snatching up papers and scratching out sections. After a long while, he shook his head. “You’ve got to be kidding me. I thought Sam was dead. They decided…. I saw him die. I watched Dean cradle him in his arms as he took his last breath.”

He could hear the smile in the reply. _Those boys have free will in spades, both of them._

“And more lives than a cat,” he muttered, beginning to revise those pages he’d worked on.

~~~~~~~~~~

Urgency swept Gabriel as he made the journey to Castiel’s cabin. He saw Castiel and Zachariah fighting and touched down, continuing to siphon Zachariah’s powers in steady degrees. It was only fair and just, in his opinion, to give Castiel a fighting chance and make the two equal. Zachariah had had an edge up for far too long. He was an insufferable smug windbag that needed taken down a few pegs. It had been with pleasure that Gabriel took away Zach’s ability to travel back and forth in time -- a hunch he’d had that Zach might try to influence events in the past.

He wondered if Zachariah would be shocked to know how well he was emulating humans in his behavior, since Zach _was_ one of the more disdainful angels on the subject of humanity.

Gabriel observed the scene a moment, barely the half blink of the human eyelid. He saw Castiel punch Zach and Zach return the gesture. They were nicely matched, neither with an edge power-wise, though Gabriel thought Castiel might have the Dean Winchester seal of approval in hand-to-hand combat by now. It had been enough time for him to learn such human techniques. He was holding his own and Zachariah was growing more frantic and erratic in his fighting as he realized his powers had been limited. Zachy-boy was starting to panic.

His glance turned to his right.

Jo Harvelle was dying, her and the child both. She was bleeding out from the injury the jealous girl had inflicted. Her eyes began to close, body relaxing.

He listened to instructions only he could hear. “Jo Harvelle, it’s your lucky day,” he whispered. “Welcome back to the land of the living.” Moving to her, he crouched down, giving the waiting Reaper a shake of his head and stretching a hand out. He healed her and waited for what he suspected she’d do upon realizing she could act.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jo gasped, eyes opening. The pain, the blood…. It was all gone. I’m alive, she thought. What the hell? I’m alive! She sat up, focusing in on Cas and the angel, her first concern for Castiel’s safety. They were holding nothing back, fighting as dirty as she’d ever seen, from poking at eyes, to ear pulling and groin hits along with punches and kicks. Scrambling to her knees, Jo turned to the man beside her. “You’re an angel?”

“I am.” He nodded. “Gabriel.”

“Do something! Help Cas!”

He directed an apologetic stare her way. “Not my call, Jo.”

“Then give me your knife. I know you have one.” She could see the hilt at his side, her fingers itching to grab it.

“Um…no. You think I’m stupid enough to give anyone my knife?”

“His back’s exposed! Give it!” She held out her hand. “Oh, come on! Don’t be a dick!”

Gabriel opened his mouth to say something, but Jo couldn’t wait to argue with him. Castiel and Zachariah tumbled to the ground. Dread snaked along her skin. Zachariah had the upper hand, grasping Castiel’s hands, turning the point of the knife to Cas in steady degrees. Jo reached out and took Gabriel’s knife.

He didn’t stop her or even seem surprised.

She got up, stumbling a little, moving towards the two on the ground. Another couple inches and Cas would be gone. She understood that much about the recent changes inside him.

He was trying to turn the knife back, teeth bared, the strain showing on his face.

Jo brought Gabriel’s knife down onto Zachariah’s back as hard as she could, fully expecting nothing to happen despite Castiel’s previous assurances that a human could kill an angel, but the resulting flash of light tumbled her to the ground beside Cas. For a moment, both were terribly still, but then Cas groaned and shoved the body off of him. She saw he’d succeeded in turning the knife, probably at the last second, maybe even when Gabriel’s knife had penetrated Zachariah’s back.

Cas sat up, scooted to her, one hand dragging down her and back up, as though he couldn’t believe she was really there. “You’re alive. How? You were dying….” His kiss tasted like dust and blood.

Jo pulled back and sat up as well, touching his face. The only evidence remaining that he’d been hurt were the trails of dried blood on his skin. “I must have a guardian angel.”

“Yes, that _must_ be it.” Gabriel stepped over to them and bent, tugging his knife from Zachariah. “You asked for a future, Castiel, one with her. You prayed for it. Guess someone _was_ listening.”

“You?”

Gabriel sheathed his knife with a snort. “No.”

“Michael?”

“Think a little higher, Castiel.” He rolled his eyes and leaned over to Jo. “And he’s supposed to be smart? You sure you want him, because you and I…. Thought we had a bit of a connection there when you came back….” Cocking a brow, he smirked. “No? If you’re sure…. My part in this was to mess with Zachy-boy. I didn’t make the decision to bring Jo back from the brink. In fact, I thought she was toast, my friend. Nothing like waiting for the last second for a reprieve. Your prayers were heard and answered. Think about what that means.” He cocked a brow at them and disappeared.

“Your prayers?” Jo brushed Castiel’s hair from his brow. He was muddy, bloody, sweaty and she couldn’t care less. He was alive.

“Earlier today. I prayed that we’d have that happy ending together.” Wonder flickered in his eyes. “He heard me. Jo, he heard me. I’d given up hope….”

Jo kissed him.

~~~~~~~~~~

Risa woke to Dean sitting on the bedside, staring at her, only the longer she stared back, she realized it wasn’t Dean with her. The stare was too cool to be Dean. He’d never looked at her that way. Even when they’d been at odds, there’d been a kind of heat in his gaze. “I want my husband back,” she whispered. “You can’t keep him. Please don’t keep him.”

“I won’t keep him, Risa. We’ve a few more things to do and then he’ll be home to you.” He touched her hand, took it, studied the rings on her finger. “Did you know he paid for these? The shop was deserted, but he took the money he had, figured in sales tax even, and paid thin air. Laid the bills in the register, wrote out a receipt and all while his team stood watch outside. He could have simply walked out with them. The owner and all employees were dead. No one would have known if he’d taken them. But he wanted your marriage to be honest from the start, so he paid for your rings.”

She snatched her hand back and sat up, gaze flicking to the couch. “Um…there’s a man on my couch wearing a white suit.”

“Yes. Leave him be. Dean will explain when he returns to you.”

“What if he wakes up?”

“He won’t.”

“How --”

Michael was gone, leaving Risa with the stranger. Getting up, she went to him. He appeared to be sleeping, eyes moving behind closed lids. With a cautious hand, she touched his shoulder. He didn’t wake. Risa covered him with a blanket, pulled up a chair and began to watch him.

~~~~~~~~~~

After reassuring each other that they were definitely alive and well, Jo and Castiel got up from the ground and looked at Kylie and Vanessa. Vanessa had no wounds on her, while Kylie was almost unrecognizable. Jo shuddered, remembering the ferocity with which Vanessa had stabbed at Kylie, her stomach churning from the sight of those gashes.

“Kylie tried to get in her way,” she told Cas, wrapping her arms around him and laying her head on his chest. “She stepped between us and tried to talk her down.”

“Ky was young, but she had a good heart under it all. She’d make instant opinions that changed when she found facts.” His arms tightened around her. “We should get some people here to take care of them.” He took the instantly into the cabin, sitting her on the couch and asking her to wait for him to come back. “You’re okay here alone? I won’t leave you alone if you need me with you right now. Those two can wait awhile yet.”

“As long as that angel, whatever his name was --”

“Zachariah.”

“As long as he’s gone, I think I’m okay.”

Jo waited, hearing the sounds of people outside and thinking about what Vanessa had said. Cas was back before she’d had much time to consider all of the brief conversation, but one point stuck out at her. “Cas, what do you think of Natalie?”

“She’s sweet. Intelligent. Easy-going.” He shrugged. “Why?”

She told him what Van had said.

“Then we should see her. I don’t think she’d have willingly helped Van try to kill you.”

As Jo and Castiel stepped into the main lodge, Natalie turned from putting books on the shelves, her smile wide, but falling flat as she watched them approach her. “What happened? Are you okay?” There was concern and curiosity in her eyes.

Jo marched right up to her, going for the direct approach. “You told that bitch Vanessa I drink sweet tea.”

She shook her head frowning. “No, I never --”

“She said you were the one who told her, made a point of saying your name.”

“Jo, what happened? Did Van do something?” Either she was genuinely puzzled or one hell of an actress.

“For starters, that obsessive cow nearly killed me.”

Natalie’s shock from that frank statement couldn’t be faked. Her face paled. “How? What did she do?”

“She claimed she wanted to talk with Jo and gave her drugged tea,” Cas told her, slipping an arm about Jo’s waist and drawing her back a few steps.

“No, I never told her anything. I hadn’t talked to her in weeks. I mean, she was getting _strange_. Only Kylie would really talk to her and she was worried.” She drew in a long breath. “Wait. Wait, wait…. The only time I remember mentioning tea at all was when Claire and I were planning a baby shower for you.” She licked her lips. “That was supposed to be a surprise. Pretend you don’t know about the shower, okay? Claire’s worked really hard to come up with something nice for you.”

“Natalie,” Cas prodded. “Vanessa?”

She nodded. “Yeah, um…we were sitting in the dining hall and it was pretty busy. Claire was writing down food and drink options as we thought of them. I remembered the sweet tea because that batch you made awhile back was really good and I don’t usually like sweet tea. Makes me gag. Anyway, Vanessa could have been listening and I wouldn’t have even known. There were a _lot_ of people around.”

Jo looked up at Cas for confirmation.

His head dipped a fraction in a nod. “She’s telling the truth. Vanessa lied to you.”

“Shocker,” Nat muttered. “She lied a lot. But are you okay? Are you both okay?”

It was Castiel who answered. “We are now.”

They left the lodge, walking slowly back to their cabin. The clearing was empty of bodies when they got back, for which Jo was glad. She hugged herself, beginning to feel chilled. “I’m going to take a shower,” she told him, “wash the day away.”

Cas watched her a long moment, hands sliding up and down her arms before gently squeezing her elbows and releasing her. “I’ll go tell Claire what happened, reassure her. I’ll try not to be long.”

She took a long shower, glad she had no aches and pains from the attack and very glad to be alive. The realization that she’d been seconds from death made her shake and Jo leaned against the shower wall, gulping in breaths of hot, steamy air until the trembling of her legs made her feel like she was going to collapse. Slowly, she slid down to sit, wrapping her arms about her knees and letting the water warm her. When the water began to turn cold, she got back to her feet and turned off the water, then left the shower.

Jo combed out her hair, braided it and pulled on a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt. She’d just draped the towel over a chair to dry, when she felt a presence behind her and whirled, her heart beating fast for a few seconds.

Dean was behind her, only it wasn’t Dean. Jo could see the difference in the way he looked at her. It was the same way Castiel had once looked at every human around him, as though he sought to understand humanity. His arms hung loosely at his sides and his head was cocked a fraction to the left. His eyes narrowed.

“You are with child.”

The wording was odd coming from Dean’s lips and Jo put her hands on her belly. “Yes. Are you Michael,” she asked.

“Yes.” He blinked, coming to her, towering over her. He placed one hand on hers. She smelled the scent of warm sunlight on earth with a hint of freshly mowed grass. “Interesting. The child reacts to me.”

It had? Jo hadn’t felt anything.

“That would be the heritage from Castiel’s side. We recognize our own, you see.” He removed his hand.

“He was human when it happened.”

His brows rose. It was strange to look at him and know he wasn’t Dean, that he was so far from Dean she’d never mistake one for the other. “Who told you that?”

“Cas.”

“Castiel may have had his powers removed, but powers alone don’t an angel make. The supernatural changes to Jimmy Novak’s body remained intact. Your child isn’t fully human.”

Her lips parted and Jo edged back from him. She wasn’t entirely comfortable with him standing so close. In her mind was a vague memory of Dean once telling her about Castiel having personal space issues. Now Dean, as Michael, was having them too.

“Your child will have an extraordinary life,” he told her. “He’ll lead people, gather them to him, and bring prosperity to a world that is in desperate need of that. He will be wise and he’ll be a joy to you and to Castiel.” Michael watched her a long moment. She had the feeling he was seeing far more than he was offering to tell her.

“I’m having a boy?”

“Yes. Healthy and strong.” He clasped his hands together, index fingers pointing at her. “Under normal circumstances, it would be Gabriel telling you this. I’m no messenger, but as long as I’m the one present….”

“Is there more?”

“Your son will prophesy, and he and his wife will have many children. The vessel line will be all the stronger for their union. The child of a filled vessel and the child of an empty one united, ensuring many potential vessels in the future.”

“You already know who he’ll marry?”

Michael smiled, a gesture quite different from Dean’s easy grin. “I’ve been given a peek, yes. He’ll know her all of his life and she will be treasured by him from the time he is old enough to care.”

Jo thought about what he said. The child of a filled vessel -- hers and Castiel’s. The child of an empty vessel -- Dean and Risa perhaps? She opened her mouth to ask and found him answering.

“Yes, Jo. Your guess is correct. I ask that you keep all of this information to yourself. Dean knows about Risa’s expectant state and nothing more. Risa doesn’t know of her state as yet.” He shrugged. “I could see that you needed an assurance of the future.”

“The future can be changed.”

One hand stretched out, the fingers stroking her cheek as though he was curious what her skin felt like, ignoring her statement. “Gabriel did a good job of healing your wounds, but I sense some lingering anxiety in your body. Rest will ease that.” His fingertips raised, sliding up, past her temple and onto her forehead. “Sleep, Jo, and rest well knowing you are protected.”

She slid into unconsciousness, waking a long while later on the bed. Someone had tucked her under the covers. She wondered if it was him.

~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel felt Michael behind him on the path long before Michael spoke. He stopped walking but didn’t turn, an action he thought clearly conveyed his feelings about Michael to him.

“You impregnated Jo Harvelle. You went into her without protective measures and a child was conceived.”

Tipping his head back, he stared at the white fluffy clouds dotting the bright blue of the sky. “You believe me unaware of that fact?”

“No. I’m stating a fact in clear, concise language that cannot be twisted into anything else. It’s a true thing. You did go into her without protective measures and she did conceive.”

Now he turned. “What did you promise to Dean to get his agreement?”

“Anything he wanted, within reason, of course.”

He gestured with one hand, a glimmer of disgust sliding through him. Seeing Michael in Dean’s body angered him. Even when Dean had yelled his acceptance that first time, back when Michael hadn’t answered, Castiel had hated that he’d done it. He’d hated that Dean had felt backed into that corner and that particular action. “Was he aware that _you_ get to decide what’s within reason?”

Shaking his head, Michael replied, “You’ve become so jaded and cynical, Castiel.”

“You know my name?” Why was he surprised by that? Because he didn’t think Michael actually knew the names of many. Least of all the common soldiers.

“Of course I know your name. You’re the curious one, the scholar, the one with the potential for,” he motioned along Castiel, “this. The inquisitive one searching for answers. The faithful one until Zachariah began meddling with your powers and you learned about humanity the hard way.”

“There’s an easy way? Pray tell what that would be?”

Michael ignored the tone and the words. “I know who you are. And as for Dean’s wishes, there were only a few predetermined ones I was not allowed to consider, such as bringing anyone long dead back from death. The dead are in their graves and they shall not be disturbed until the final day has truly come.”

“What did you grant?” Michael didn’t have to tell him. He could be mysterious and ignore the question.

“Safety for his wife and unborn child.”

“Risa’s pregnant?”

“She doesn’t as yet know. She only conceived a little over a week ago, before Dean accepted me. Their daughter will be beautiful. The best of both of them.”

“You used it as leverage,” he guessed. “Told him and played on his feelings for family.”

“Perhaps.” His head dipped in a shallow nod. “But Dean was already wishing Risa’s safety. I couldn’t not tell him what I knew. His own child should be protected as well as his wife or is that not reasonable? Would you not have done the same?”

He looked away. “It’s not reasonable the way you got to it.”

Michael stepped closer. “Am I to assume that your scorn for what I am indicates an unwillingness to ‘strap the angel wings back on’ as Dean would say?”

“I’ve made a life here. Why would I wish to return after all that has happened? I have Jo and a baby on the way. I can’t leave her to raise our child by herself. I won’t leave her. I made a vow to her, Michael. I intend to keep it.”

In idle moments, he’d thought about what he’d do given this very chance. Heaven or earth? While he longed for heaven and everything he missed and had been, he had responsibilities on earth, a life he’d made out of necessity. Castiel had a purpose here. He was going to be a father. That carried quite a hefty responsibility with it.

“She wouldn’t be alone. Jimmy Novak could remain here. You know Jimmy would care for her and the child as his own. He’d love her and be grateful for a second chance at a life. Dean, Risa, Claire and others would remain here to aid her.”

“And have Dean call me a dead-beat dad? Uh…no. If you want me to leave, you’ll have to drag me.”

“You surprise me, Castiel. Choosing earth and a human life? You and Gabriel are two of a kind and I don’t believe I can ever truly understand either of you.”

“It’s probably easier not to try.”

Michael was silent for a moment. “Such pain we caused you. I apologize on behalf of all of your brethren for inflicting that pain upon you.”

“You apologize? Right. Of course you do. What if I don’t accept it?”

“It is still given.”

Castiel sighed. “Sure. Take my powers and go. I choose to remain here. I’ve made a human life here and I’ll live every day of it.”

“You misinterpret my presence. I’m not here to take those powers that have returned to you.”

He stared at Michael. “Excuse me?”

“Zachariah’s punishment upon you was spiteful and not sanctioned. That judgment was negated. Not even Lucifer’s powers were stripped from him when he was imprisoned, Castiel. He was merely bound to keep him from using them freely.” To Castiel’s eyes, Michael seemed uncomfortable. “For awhile, until all judgments are given to the angelic ranks for the Apocalypse incident, you and Gabriel will have the distinction of being the only upper level operatives on earth.”

Castiel shook his head. He was understanding Dean’s frustration with angels far better now than he ever had before. No matter what he said, it was like Michael wasn’t even hearing him. “Were you not listening to me, Michael? I said I choose earth, not --”

“Not heaven, yes, but heaven chooses you.”

“I refuse.” Somewhere in the back of his mind, he recalled having similar conversations with Dean about heaven’s plans, with Cas himself taking Michael’s position. He suspected Dean would find this amusing.

“You’re an angel, Castiel, whether you like it or not. You cannot refuse.” His voice was angry. “It’s who and what you are, but not all you are. You have a free will too, the evidence of that is ample. You _chose_ your path. You _chose_ to follow Dean Winchester and you _chose_ , ultimately, to take a human wife. You chose the path, now take your consequences. Like I said, you and Gabriel -- the two who understand humanity the best and chose the humans -- will remain on earth. Walk away all you like. It does no good. You’re an angel. Your powers remain. You’ll find a couple more returning in the next weeks. You’re returning to your original state and I assure you, it wasn’t _my_ decision. You’re needed here. Deal with it.”

“Suck it up? Is that what you’re telling me?”

“Yes.”

“Nice. Inspirational. Original state? How is this my original state? Jimmy can surface. I’ve never been able before to let him surface for as long as I can, not to mention how easily we can talk. Nor did I feel these feelings when I was in Anna’s --”

“That wasn’t your original state, Castiel.”

“I’m hardly an upper level operative. I’m a disposable grunt --”

“You were originally part of a special unit sent to watch humanity closely.” The sentence was said in a quiet voice. “ _That_ makes it your natural state. The vessel being able to surface and communicate with you, the feelings remaining. All in order to more easily interact with humans, which was the purpose --”

He shook his head. “No. They all were cut off and died after being wantonly disobedient. I’m not old enough to be one of them.”

“You’re resistant to remembering.” Michael crossed his arms. “Interesting. I believe this subject will need to be discussed after you’ve time to consider the truth of it.”

“There is no truth to it. You’re lying to me.”

“Do I lie, Castiel?”

“When it serves your purpose and your purpose is….” He shook his head and shrugged, feeling extremely irrational and not caring one bit. “I don’t you know what your purpose is and I don’t really care, but if you’re not here to take my powers, then leave.”

Michael took a few steps back. “Very well. Think about what I said, Castiel. If you wish to discuss it further, you know how to contact me. Or….” His lips twitched. “Better yet, call for Gabriel. He’ll be pleased to discuss it with you. The lost unit is a favorite subject of his these days since he read up on you.” He moved to one of the lawn chairs and sat. “I’m leaving Dean now. Please stay with him until he wakes fully. As your vessel knows, it can be…disorienting at first.” Michael closed his eyes and with a flash of bright light, he was gone from earth, leaving Castiel alone with a groggy Dean.

~~~~~~~~~~

It took Risa a moment to realize that the man on her couch was looking back at her. She watched him raise up on his forearms, frown, and lick his lips several times, as though they were dry.

“Who are you,” he asked.

“Risa Winchester. Dean’s wife.” She wasn’t sure why she said her full name. It seemed right to do so however.

His frown smoothed out. “Wife? How long?”

“Not quite a year, but we knew each other awhile before.”

He sat up the rest of the way, the beginning of a smile tugging his lips. “Hi, Risa. Can’t tell you how happy I am to meet you. I’m Sam. I’m Dean’s brother.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Dean honestly hadn’t expected to come out alive and well at the other end of the fight with Lucifer. Nor had he expected to be left in perfect health as Michael had promised. He’d expected to be a mindless mess or even dead.

_I’ve kept my promise to you, Dean. You’re well and your wife and child are unharmed. You have your family. Would you admit now that some of us aren’t the negative names you’ve called us?_

_I can. You and Cas are okay._

_Don’t forget Gabriel._

_Gabriel’s a --_

_Prankster. Always joking. Always playing tricks, but that tendency did help you and Castiel both. He helped, as did Raphael. You and I were hardly alone. My family aided your family._

_Maybe some of you have some good moments._

_Well, I suppose I’ll take that._ Dean heard humor in the reply. _Goodbye, Dean. I hope we don’t meet again in your lifetime. Still…. I would be amenable to contact if you’d care to call on me in the future._

_Don’t hold your breath._

Michael laughed. _I won’t. Goodbye._

_Well, at least one of you knows how to say that word._

There was no reply and he felt a drawing sensation as the heat and power of Michael slipped from him like the tide rushing out to sea. He felt cold, chilled, and shivered, opening his eyes. He saw blue sky above him, felt the breeze, smelled the scents of cooking food and of nature, and thought the world had never been so alive for him. Everything seemed brighter, louder, and simply…more. Dean squeezed his hands into fists and released them. He was back in control and it felt good.

Castiel was standing beside his chair, frowning. He looked a little worse for the wear, his hair more tousled than usual and a large grass stain on his shirt.

Dean smiled. “Hey, Cas. We did it, man. Lucifer’s back in prison.”

“At what cost to you?”

Why wasn’t he happy? This was great news. “Cas. It’s done. The Apocalypse is over.”

“You said yes to Michael. How many times did we talk about him and that? How many times did we talk about the Colt and how there had to be another way? You didn’t need to let him in.”

“I had to. You know I did. We weren’t going to find that gun and Michael said it wouldn’t have worked anyway. At the point we were at, it really was that or the end. Trust me, Cas. It was the only way. Earth was a ticking time bomb.”

“They knew you’d agree, too. From the time Risa arrived, they knew you’d agree. It was engineered, Dean! It was just like all the other attempts to get you to agree.”

“I said yes before, Cas. I said it while Risa was here and then today --”

“Last week. You were gone a week.”

Really? It hadn’t felt like more than a few minutes. “Point is, it’s over. Does it really matter how it happened? I’m the same as I was before I agreed. He promised me that and he delivered. I didn’t expect he would. Hell, I thought I’d be a drooling mess you’d all have to take care of, but I was willing to do that if I could just finish it and save you all from dying at Lucifer’s hands. Michael cleaned up the mess his family made and now we get to clean up the earth. We get to put the pieces back together, rebuild civilization.”

“Whatever.” Castiel turned and strode away.

Dean sat for a moment, wondering on Castiel’s attitude and deciding to wait awhile before trying to talk to him again. He’d let him think about what had happened. He got up and made his way to his own cabin, unsurprised when Risa ran from the cabin to him, her embrace almost frantic, her kiss possessive.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m back.” He tried to lead her into their cabin and she resisted. “What?”

“Do you know,” she asked.

“Know? Oh, about the guy our couch? Yeah.” He slid his hand up her hip and back down. “That’s Sam. My brother. He’s going to need some care. Okay, a lot of care. Don’t think I’m going to leave you to do all of it. I mean it, Risa. He’s my responsibility. I’ll do it all. Feeding, dressing, bathing.” He was puzzled by her expressions as he spoke. Surprise and a bit of humor growing in her eyes, her lips turning up in a grin.

“Feeding, dressing, and bathing? That’s going to be something of a challenge if you plan to do that _for_ him.”

“I realize that.” Her amusement grew until Dean wondered just what was so funny about Sam’s situation. He wouldn’t have thought her to be insensitive before. “Risa --”

“I think you’d better come inside, Dean. We’ve got a lot to talk about.”

He followed her inside. Dean stopped just inside the door, having trouble believing what his eyes were seeing.

Sam was awake. Not only that, but he was standing, turning and smiling at Dean. He’d taken off the white jacket, untucked his shirt, and now put his hands in his pockets. “Hey Dean.”

“You’re awake. How are you awake? Michael said he couldn’t fix you. It wasn’t in his power to do that.”

“There’s only one more powerful than Michael, Dean.”

“Why would he do that? Why --”

“I don’t know, but I’m not complaining. I get to live, not just watch you live. I get to _live_. I get to….”

Dean hugged his brother for the first time in years.


	16. Chapter 16

Sam woke with a gasp. He remembered going to Lucifer and then…nothing until that conversation with Dean on what they should do. He knew he’d seen the things Lucifer had done and simply didn’t remember them anymore. He thought that was a blessing. 

He knew Dean needed him. After years apart, Dean still needed him and Sam needed him in return. Sam couldn’t leave knowing it would tear Dean apart completely, even if it meant sacrificing a start on his own eternal rest to stay. He wouldn’t be selfish. He’d stay for Dean.

He looked around at his surroundings. He was in a cabin, lying on a couch, with a pretty dark haired woman sitting in a chair watching him. Was she guarding him? Or simply curious?

To discover she was Dean’s wife took what felt like a weight off of him. He had a wife, the beginning of that family Sam knew Dean craved. By the time Dean came inside, Sam was almost giddy. They were both alive and well. How did that happen? How did they fall into the Apocalypse and come out whole on the other side? It had to be a miracle.

It wasn’t going to be an easy road for him, Sam knew that. He had a lot to answer for to those who already knew him. Dean, definitely. Jo. Castiel. Chuck. There were many things that were going to have to be said all the way around, but he wasn’t going to shy away from that. He’d face it head-on. 

Dean gathered those who knew the truth and it was decided that they’d let the camp think Dean had gotten information on Sam’s whereabouts and rescued him from demons. That was where Dean had gone, rushing away without even telling his wife where he was going. Sam was amazed at how willing people were to believe that, and how accepting Jo and Castiel were of him after what they knew. He had long talks with both, telling Jo why he’d behaved as he had with her and Ellen, then admitting to Castiel that he’d become jealous of him during those months directly after leaving.

He liked the person Cas had become. He thought they could become friends given time.

Sam looked around at the camp Dean had created. He was sad that Bobby and Ellen couldn’t be there with them, but grateful that there was some kind of life there to have. After all that had happened, he’d never expected to live. He’d never expected to be given another chance.

He wasn’t going to waste that chance.

~~~~~~~~~~

On the subject of Sam, Castiel was wary. Perhaps they could be friends eventually, but it was going to take some time. On the subject of his own shiny new job, he was prickly, even snapping at Jo when she’d tried to discuss it with him. He’d apologized of course, explaining that giving him a nice job and returning his original state didn’t really make up for what had been done. Jo thought he was being stubborn, arguing that the world needed him.

Maybe I am stubborn, he thought, listening carefully for Jimmy’s reply. There was none this time. Jimmy had pretty much said everything he thought needed saying and insisted Castiel was being pig-headed. It was the general consensus between the two. Dean, however, let him avoid the topic entirely. He rather thought Dean had had enough of heaven’s wishes.

Gabriel appeared beside him. “It pleases me to have at least one brother I can relate to down here. Someone who knows the value of a good lay.”

Cas set the book he’d been pretending to read aside and stared at him. “What do you want?” His tone was less than gracious, a thing that didn’t offend Gabriel in the least.

“To discuss our promotion to heads of the department of human-angel relations. You’ve been avoiding me, Castiel. We’ve got to have one little talk on it sometime.”

“I refuse the job. There’s no more to be said.”

“How’s that working out for you? Come on. This is _real_ hope and change, not some politician’s idea of it.

Before he could make a remark on that, Gabriel continued.

“We’ve got the place to ourselves, you know. It’s our house until things get going back to relative normalcy. We should have a party.” He waved a hand at the ceiling, a disco ball appearing.

“No parties. Go away, Gabriel.” Castiel picked his book back up, only to have it disappear from his hands. He gritted his teeth.

Gabriel heaved a dramatic sigh. “I like you better powerless.” He made the disco ball disappear. “Okay, we’ll do this your way. Hello, Castiel. Why the sour face? You should be rejoicing. What’s got your boxers in a twist besides your job?”

Castiel shot a dirty look at him. “Dean sold out.”

“Dean-o did what he had to to protect the last of everything he ever cared about, you thick-headed schmuck.”

“He was manipulated.”

“ _That_ is a very good point. So were you. Or do you think that initial attraction to Jo Harvelle was one hundred percent natural?” His brows rose. “I hear it took two tries to get you to really look at her -- one for Jimmy and one for you.”

Castiel looked away, shaking his head. “No. It’s genuine. I love her and she loves me. There was no aid from heaven there.”

“You tell yourself that. Some are meant to be, Castiel. Dean and Risa. You and Jo. True, there was added incentive, but you made the choice and so did she. You could have fought it and didn’t. You did exactly what you were supposed to.” He shrugged. “And so did Dean. Forgive him for it. He agonized over it and I gotta tell you, Michael was desperate himself. He was under a time crunch. We all were.”

“Dean mentioned that.”

“He wasn’t lying. The earth was about to explode in a rash of Lucifer prompted disasters. He let Mike in just in time to prevent that point of absolutely no return.”

“He was backed into a corner.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. God came home, Castiel. He’s up there now tidying up the mess we left it in and Michael came down here to clean things here. It’s done. Humanity lives to see another few decades or centuries or more. Are you really going to linger on Dean doing what he thought was necessary at this point? Are you going to let it come between you? You’ve got a good friendship. It’d be a shame for this to destroy it.” Reaching out, he gripped Castiel’s shoulder. “Take a walk with me. I think we need to have a serious discussion about who you are, get a few things straight.” 

He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to go anywhere with Gabriel, but since he knew refusing would have no effect, he went anyway.

As they walked, Gabriel spoke. “Do you recall anything about the lost unit at all?”

Michael had mentioned them. “They were always spoken of in whispers, how they disobeyed, became too close to humans and abandoned their jobs. They behaved in selfish ways.”

He nodded. “Collectively, they were an inquisitive bunch, drove Zach nuts to interact with any of them and to tell you the truth, Mike wasn’t too thrilled with them either. They were supposed to watch, be neutral parties. It’s true they disobeyed. They let their emotions overwhelm them and control them, a big mess in the end. They took human wives, had babies, taught those things they knew -- things that weren’t meant to be introduced in rapid succession.”

“Michael claimed I’m one of them, but I can’t be. I’m not old enough.”

“You’re older than you think you are.” He peered out over the water. “You _are_ one of them, Castiel, the only remaining member of that unit. I looked it up. I opened sealed records. You hadn’t yet deployed to earth when the rest disobeyed. You’d stayed behind to search out a ‘few more things’. Michael was called in to the throne room, told to inform you of your new assignment. Your memory was wiped of your previous station, your powers capped in accordance with your new duties and your records sealed to all. With the sheer numbers of all angels in those days, it wasn’t much to slip you into a unit. Anna’s was perfect. She had the influence you needed when you needed it.”

“Anna rebelled, ripped out her own grace, and fell to earth,” he pointed out.

“Like I said…. The influence you needed when you needed it. The pieces all fit.” Raising a hand, Gabriel snapped his fingers twice. “There. Much should be clearer to you now.”

He staggered a little as memories flooded his mind and he gasped at the sudden rushing. He remembered it all. The thrill of tracking down the answers he’d been asked to procure. The excitement of going to be among the first angels to actually interact with humans, meet them, learn about them. He’d been longing for it, wanting it, needing it -- like the rest of his unit. They were all willing to accept humanity.

Castiel frowned, remembering that day his old life had ended and his time in Anna’s unit begun. He’d finished all tasks assigned to him and begun to prepare himself for leaving heaven, but Michael blocked his way. Michael informed him he was being reassigned, that his new posting would be a better one, something Cas hadn’t understood because how was being demoted a good thing? He recalled confusion, surprise, anger…and then very little emotion at all. His dream wasn’t a dream, but rather a fragment of memory returned to him. He’d had emotion before that moment, much like the archangels, only without their level of overall power.

How far he’d been demoted due to the collective actions of his unit!

“Destiny plays out for all of us,” Gabriel said with a sigh. “If you’d been allowed to go then, who would have helped Dean Winchester?”

He stopped walking altogether and stretched one hand out to lean against a tree. “I disobeyed and was disciplined. Twice. Once then and later, when I was told I was too close to Dean.”

“It was to His purpose that you saw what you saw to do what you did.”

“I’m lost like they were.” The realization made him tremble a little. He’d done exactly what his first unit had done. He’d mingled, he’d experienced, he’d loved, married -- in a manner of speaking --, and taught archaic knowledge to humans. He hung his head, eyes closing. He’d taught an awful lot to Dean. He’d created a child with Jo. He’d --

Gabriel snorted. “Do you want forgiveness for your disobedience?”

He opened his eyes, slowly shook his head and stood up straight. “While I’m sorry I disobeyed, I can’t regret the outcome.”

“All you have to do is ask for forgiveness. I did and believe me, I’ve done a lot more than you ever have. I don’t recall _you_ ever sending men into space for being a pompous ass like I did. Ask. It’s that simple, Castiel.”

“I can’t go back, Gabriel.”

“You don’t have to. You can ask and receive without returning. Look, what Mike said is basically true. You _are_ an angel and you _are_ more than that. You’ve achieved your destiny, done what you were supposed to and fulfilled your duty. It’s a fresh new day from here on out. Isn’t that what you’ve been searching for each morning? Ask for forgiveness and move on from here. You have Jo, your child, and your friends. You have a semblance of humanity and most of your old powers, plus some that are different variations of those old powers. You’re blessed.”

“I still feel.”

“Which is your natural state. You have the ability to let Jimmy surface. I can do it, too, but my vessel long ago decided he no longer wished to surface. You’ve a win-win situation. You have your life with Jo and Jimmy has a half-life. He can interact with his daughter, which was what he really wanted.”

“Nothing is ever simple, Gabriel.”

“This time, it is.”

They talked awhile longer and over the next few months, Castiel thought about all those things Gabriel had said.

~~~~~~~~~~

In the end, a third of the remaining angels were disciplined and cast out of their place in heaven.

Michael oversaw the punishment, remembering that earlier conversation with Gabriel. One-third had been the number Michael had put forth as likely for punishment. He was amazed he’d judged it so well.

When he was finished, he stood before the throne and gave his final report.

“Dean Winchester is well. I corrected a few health concerns that would have developed over the next decade before leaving him. His wife is in excellent health herself, her pregnancy progressing as it should. Castiel is being stubborn, but with Gabriel hanging around him, I believe he’ll soon accept his position on earth. Jo Harvelle is healthy and so is the child. She’ll be delivering in a couple days. I did take a few moments to reassure her of the future. She’d had anxiety after what had just occurred. I thought it unwise to leave her worried.”

He listened for a moment, then bowed his head.

“My experience with Dean has given me much to consider. I….” He swallowed pride he knew he shouldn’t even have. “I was wrong about them, the humans. I shall endeavor to be a better example on the subject of them to my brethren.”

When he was dismissed, Michael walked out of the throne room and into a throng of angels waiting to hear from him. They wanted information and Michael gave it to them in a manner he thought even Gabriel would approve of.

He told them a story of two men, brothers, and their struggle.

~~~~~~~~~~

_  
_

The time had come and Jo was scared to death.

She hadn’t had any trouble so far, but there was always a first time, right? She lay on their bed -- in what was supposedly the right position for this--, trying not to whimper, groan, or even scream, though that time was fast approaching where she wouldn’t have a choice. The level of pain was growing. 

It was only her, Castiel, and heaven help her, _Gabriel_ in the cabin. She saw no reason why Gabriel had to be there.

Already she was drenched in sweat, wanting it to be over without actually _doing_ this. Wasn’t there some way to skip it? Couldn’t Gabriel snap his fingers and fast forward or even make it be over? He claimed he couldn’t, that she had to go through it.

“Get him out of here.” Jo liked to imagine her voice was calm, though she knew the words were a harsh growl. If he couldn’t make it all be over, then what good was he? He might as well leave. She panted and shifted on the bed, attempting to find a position that didn’t hurt. It was a futile effort. Everything hurt. 

“Let’s get this baby delivered!” Gabriel’s voice was offensively cheerful in the middle of the pangs of pain gripping her lower body. He snapped on gloves and appeared to be in delivery room scrubs with cherubs printed all over them. “Spread ‘em and let me have a look.”

“No.” She shook her head.

Castiel ran a cool cloth across her forehead. “You can’t keep the baby in there, Jo,” he told her in a soothing tone. “It’s coming out whether you want to do this or not.”

“ _He’s_ not seeing me naked.” Jo thought she was being fairly reasonable about that. 

“You’re being irrational,” he began, only to stop and wince when she grabbed his hand and squeezed as hard as she could. “However, if causing me pain makes you feel better, my hand is yours to maim.”

She felt Gabriel’s hands on her knees. His reply was tinged with amusement. “You don’t tell the expectant mother she’s being irrational or unreasonable, Castiel. She’s being perfectly reasonable at the moment. Deciding who’s going to be face down between your legs to catch the baby is an emotional decision.”

“Thank you,” Jo gasped out before a contraction hit. When it passed, she shook her head again. “Don’t try sneaking a peek either.”

“I wouldn’t dream of sneaking a peek, Jo. You know I’d look outright.” His hands remained on her knees. “I want you to consider something a minute here. Can you do that, for me?”

“What,” she snapped, fast losing any sense of humor she had as the pains increased.

“There’s not one human doctor here on earth right now with the experience to deliver a human-angel baby. I’m the only one who can do that for you.”

Jo about cried at that. “You suck, you know that?”

“Relax, Jo. We’ll get you through this. I promise you.”

“He’s doing it,” Castiel told her in a firm voice. “Let him see if you’re dilated.”

Face burning with embarrassment, she let her knees relax. In minutes, that emotional discomfort fell away as true, blinding physical pain gripped her. Jo had never felt such pain in her life. She thought dying hadn’t been nearly as painful as giving birth, pushing when Gabriel told her to, finally rewarded with the cry of her baby.

Awhile later, on clean sheets, with a freshly washed baby in her arms and Castiel lounging beside them, Jo looked down at their baby. He was red and wrinkly and the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen in her life. She touched one little hand, marveling at the softness of his skin.

Despite the pain, despite the sheer ickiness of the process of giving birth, she’d do it again in a heartbeat.

Castiel moved closer, his hand over hers. “We did it,” he whispered, a tiny pleased grin curling his lips. The wonder on his face had to match her own she decided. “We really made a kid.”

Jo smiled. “He’s beautiful.”

“He has your nose.”

“Your eyes.” Though time would tell if he really did have that pretty blue shade.

He slid down to put his head on her shoulder and be closer to the baby. “You’ve made me very happy, Jo. I want this moment to last a lifetime.”

“There’ll be more moments. A million and more for years and years.” They were content together, a family for an angel who’d never thought he’d ever have one and a woman who hadn’t thought she’d ever be a mother. Jo turned her hand to clasp his.

Ellen Harvelle had left Jo with many words of wisdom on various subjects. She thought of a few of those words right now. 

She recalled Ellen sitting across from her, a cup of coffee before her, drinking it black. “Someday, you’re going to have kids, Jo.” With the Apocalypse in full swing, it hadn’t seemed likely, but Ellen had kept going anyway. “Listen to me. You are. I have to believe you are. I have to believe this’ll all blow by someday. When you have them, you’ll see a different world open up in front of you, with choices you never thought existed. Your life will change, but I want you to know, it’ll be good.” There’d been a hint of tears in her eyes. None fell, but Jo had seen the sheen of them. “I know it’ll be good for you, baby.” 

Ellen had been right and she hoped that wherever Ellen was, she was looking down and smiling, because it _was_ good. Life now was very good. 

Jo was grateful to be alive.

She was grateful for Castiel and for their son, and she was grateful for their friends.

She couldn’t ask for more.

~~~~~~~~~~

****

Epilogue:

Chuck sat back in his chair and considered the years leading up to this moment. So many things had happened that he was grateful to have been around for. He felt himself blessed to have been chosen for his job, despite the hardships and pain of it. If he hadn’t been chosen, he never would have met any of them and his life would have been far less rich.

After Lucifer had been returned to his prison, the infected had disappeared, as though they’d never been there at all. Without the threat, civilization began to stabilize. Governments were able to relax restrictions and begin to pull back together. Recently, they’d begun once more to receive the occasional radio and television signal. Dean had teared up when they tuned in the ABC local channel. Chuck found it funny that the first thing that channel had chosen to broadcast was a marathon of the seasons of LOST. Dean had hooked up a huge tv in the main lodge and most of the camp had turned out to watch the episodes. It had been like a party. 

The birth of Jo and Castiel’s son had been a comedy of errors that included Gabriel carrying the boy about the camp like _he_ was the proud father and not Castiel. 

The boy was named Will, short for William after her father. Castiel had chosen the name itself. Will had no last name or middle name. Jo had chosen to name him that way because Cas didn’t have a last name or middle name. Jo’s expression then had hinted at some secret knowledge. Chuck knew what Jo knew, though he hadn’t written it down. That part of Jo’s conversation with Michael wasn’t for anyone but her. It had been a special assurance. 

Risa gave birth a month early at Castiel’s favorite rest stop, with Dean delivering his own daughter -- in a rainstorm. Predictably, they’d named her Mary. Chuck hoped their next child would have a name that wasn’t in the usual Winchester book of names.

Sam slowly made friends in the camp and discovered he had a lot in common with Natalie. There was a friendship there between the two. Maybe it would become more. Chuck just didn’t know. Maybe Dean was the family man and Sam never would be. Strange how things turned out in the end.

Castiel realized he didn’t have to give up his family and friends to do the heavenly job he’d been created for. Cas was different than the original unit. Unlike them, his disobedience hadn’t been a selfish thing. He’d done so to help Dean. As the months passed, he’d taken little trips about the earth, observing efforts to rebuild civilization and reporting his findings back to Dean. Chuck knew that before the day was done, Castiel would finally ask God for forgiveness, that act Gabriel had been telling him to do, and he’d find a new peace in his duties. He’d embrace the new day that had come completely, with faith fully restored.

The earth was recovering. The people in it were recovering. And Sam and Dean were recovering. Chuck had seen the evidence of that when Dean had uncovered the Impala and taken her from the shed. He’d washed her up, filled up the gas tank, and he and Sam had taken her for a drive. They didn’t go far, but the point was, _they went together_. Chuck thought there was great significance in that fact.

He placed the pages he’d revised in their spot in the final entry of stories. Most of what he’d written wasn’t what he’d expected. He’d thought there would be goodbyes and anguish over loss. Instead, he’d found new beginnings, the old selves sloughed away to reveal fresh new people born from those experiences. Smiling in pure satisfaction for a job well done, he lined up the binders all in a row on the shelves. He’d labeled them and added a master list of what was in each binder.

Neat. Tidy.

There was a knock on his door and he looked up as Jo opened the door and peered in. She gave him a once over and shook her head. “You’re not ready yet.”

“Yeah, I had a couple last minute things to add.”

Stepping inside, she looked around the cabin. “Yeah? Like what?”

He was glad he’d cleaned. “I don’t think I should say.”

“Why not? Is it something bad?”

“No, not really.” Chuck stood and tucked his shirt in, then reached for his tie and held it up. “Do I need a tie? I mean, I don’t think it really matters what I’m wearing.”

“You don’t have to wear the tie if you don’t want to. That was purely Jimmy’s idea of what’s appropriate.”

“Good. I’m not wearing it.”

“Comb your hair though.”

He combed his hair, looked at his reflection. He hadn’t had a drink all day, so his eyes were clear and he’d gotten enough sleep the previous night, so they weren’t bloodshot, either. He’d remembered to shave. “Jo….”

She came to him, put one arm around him and looked in the mirror as well. “You clean up nicely. Come on. Everyone’s waiting.”

The party was in full swing when he walked into the clearing with Jo. Someone had created a huge banner that read ‘Congratulations Chuck’. He tried very hard not to cry.

For two hours, he received hugs and well wishes, his stomach rolling with anxiety. He was more nervous than he’d ever been in his life. This topped anything he’d previously experienced.

Dean raised a glass and cleared his throat. “Chuck, I just want to say that out of all the prophets I’ve ever met, you’re my favorite.”

“Thanks, Dean, but I’m the only prophet you’ve met.”

“Still applies.”

There were more toasts and as the sun began to lower in the sky, Castiel stood. “It’s time, Chuck. We shouldn’t keep him waiting.”

He started to walk to the path into the woods, then returned to Jo, leaning over to say in her ear, “You wondered what I was writing. It’s nothing bad, just…you’re pregnant again.”

Her smile froze, a tinge of panic in her gaze. “No, I’m not. We’ve been rocking the contraceptives without fail. The odds --”

“Yeah. Twins this time.”

“But…but…” Her mouth opened and closed several times. “We used protection. Sometimes even multiple methods. Not like the last time when he _forgot_!”

“You’re pregnant and no, you won’t need two tests this time. Just the one, because you know how your body feels in that state. You know it’s true.”

Jo closed her eyes, sighed, and reopened them. “Somewhere, my mother is laughing. Twins. Great.”

“It is great. You and Cas are good parents. Some of the best.” Chuck followed Castiel into the woods. As they walked, nervous tremors grew in earnest. “I’m excited,” he told Cas. “Really I am. I mean, how many people in history get invited to go up bodily, but mostly I’m….”

“Scared,” Cas filled in for him, giving him a long look. “You’ll be fine. I hear many changes have been made since God returned.” He stopped walking and pointed. “There’s a clearing up ahead. Gabriel is waiting. He’ll take you up, stay with you awhile, long enough for you to become acclimated. This is a good thing, Chuck. Remember, we’ll all see you again someday. This isn’t goodbye. Not anymore.”

Once, Castiel would have been awkward with a handshake, but now, he gave Chuck a hug and a reassuring pat on the back.

Chuck left earth for heaven and didn’t look back.

~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel strolled into the tiny clearing and waited. Someone else was taking over the story now. In the world somewhere, was a person taking over where Chuck had left off. He could hardly write about events after his own ascension to heaven. Chuck’s days of prophesying were over and while the lives of Sam and Dean were still in progress, it was the lives of their children that were going to matter more as the years passed. That didn’t mean they wouldn’t be written about by the new prophet. It was simply the end of one era. The Winchester gospels featuring Sam and Dean were complete.

He found he was a little sad for that.

Only minutes passed when Gabriel returned. He held two glasses, thrusting one at Castiel. There was confetti on his shoulders and in his hair that disappeared as it fell to the ground.

“Snuck you out some punch. Try it.”

He took a cautious sip. It smelled as though a single sniff would knock out a herd of elephants at fifty yards. “Not bad.”

“Not bad? I’ll have you know that’s Mike’s recipe. Well, mostly his. The original concoction was Dean’s, but Mike tweaked it for a mostly angelic crowd.”

“I see.”

“It’ll get you smashed,” he coaxed.

Castiel set the cup aside. “My days of drunken frolicking are done, especially from drinking Michael’s atomic punch. It smells lethal.”

Gabriel drained his cup, tossed it away, and reached for Castiel’s. “I like that. Atomic. Michael’s Atomic Blaster punch.”

“Cute. How’s Chuck adjusting?”

“Trading stories with the Apostle Paul, but I predict the party will really get rolling when Daniel shows up. The lion’s den story is always a hit, though Chuck’s doing pretty well holding his own with them. Him getting pieces of you in his hair got quite the reaction.”

“Happy to contribute to his adjustment,” he replied with a dry tone.

“Even Raphael’s telling the story and you know how he is.” He drained that cup as well. “The introduction of a prophet into heaven has everyone out and about that can be at present.”

“So can I report that he’s well?”

“You can. Better yet, come up with me and see for yourself. The party is hoppin’, my friend. No, it’s better than hoppin’. I never thought I’d see some of my brothers partying like they are, but I tell you, Castiel, getting punishment over and done with has done something for them. This whole liking humanity thing you and I got going on?” He motioned between the two of them with two fingers. “Becoming more in vogue these days. Who knows, in a couple thousand years? Might be the norm all the way.”

“Pleased to hear it.”

“So, you coming?”

“No. Tender my regrets. I’m not ready to venture into heaven. My place is here. Maybe,” he quirked a brow, “in a couple thousand years I’ll come to visit.”

“Suit yourself. Meet me in the usual place next month.”

Castiel sat on a log after Gabriel had gone. He’d been thinking a lot about the things Gabriel had told him and, with a little trepidation, began to pray like he once had, sitting quietly.

This time, he received an answer.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dean Winchester felt a stab of deja-vu when he turned from grabbing a beer from the cooler.

His daughter was playing with Cas and Jo’s son with more energy than he ever remembered having. Risa pretended to be playing with them, though he could tell she was doing little more than occasionally catching and throwing the ball. He was half afraid the exercise would send her into labor. She was nearly there now. Hopefully, he wouldn’t have to deliver this one, too. While he loved being a father, he wouldn’t wish having to deliver his own child on any man.

His heart seemed to swell with emotion every time his daughter held her arms up to be picked up and called him ‘daddy’. She was precious to him. He couldn’t wait to have another. 

Jo and Castiel were sitting on one bench holding hands. They’d had an argument about something Chuck had told Jo before leaving, whatever it was leaving Cas looking smug and Jo mildly annoyed. When Jo turned away, Cas waved at him, grinned, pointed at Jo’s stomach and held up two fingers before giving him a thumbs up. She looked back, caught him and socked one fist into his arm. Dean took that to mean Jo was pregnant for a second time and smiled.

One thing that amazed Dean about Castiel was how good a father he was. He enjoyed every part of it, even the not-so good parts.

While most of his powers had returned, there were marked differences in Castiel. Jimmy surfaced most days, his limit of time eventually tapping out at an hour. Usually, he spent the time with Claire, though with her grown and wanting to lead an adult life, there was less of that. She wanted to be outside the camp, helping settlements rebuild. Dean suspected she had a boyfriend somewhere out there now. Jimmy continued to profess love for Jo, but as far as Dean knew, that profession of feelings was as far as it went.

Castiel’s feelings never faded, the angelic coolness never returning. Dean didn’t quite understand the entire story behind it, something about a disobedient high class of angels, proactive measures taken against Cas, and centuries of a power level not natural to him. Whatever. Did it really matter? Cas was Cas, not the angel who’d saved Dean from hell and not the near human he’d been. He was both and neither, growing and changing with his experiences.

None of them were the same as they’d started out. They’d all been changed. They’d all grown.

Occasionally, Castiel met Gabriel to discuss ‘world matters’. He never said what those world matters were and Dean didn’t press him. Castiel’s reluctant job was off-limits as conversational fodder and few besides their immediate group knew the truth.

And then there was Sam.

Dean’s gaze turned to his brother. He was deep in a discussion with Rick and Mya, hands moving as he made a point. They still had their ups and downs. They still fought and argued and got under each other’s skin. Yet despite it all…Dean couldn’t complain. He had his family.

Life was good.

If they could survive the Apocalypse, they could survive anything this new world sent their way.

It could only get better from here.

****

The End


End file.
